Life of the Party (Wayward #1)

CHAPTER 17

“If Grey doesn’t love you after tonight…,” Charlie looked at me again, smiling in satisfaction. “There is something wrong with that boy.”

“He’s just in this for fun, Charlie. Remember?” I took a drag of my smoke and blew it out, staring at my reflection. We were in Charlie’s bedroom, where she had dressed and made me up, yet again. It looked like she was improving with practice; the woman staring at me in the mirror was…hot, vivacious…stunning.

A short, sleek, long-sleeved black dress hugged my frame, low-cut enough to make me a little uncomfortable, though Charlie promised results. My hair was in loose, glossy dark curls that tumbled around my shoulders and down my back, kept from my face by a thin silver headband. My make-up was phenomenal—dark, smoky eyes and almost startling red, full, pouty lips that looked like they didn’t belong to my face. I wore black leather boots—high heeled with a pointy toe, which curved around my calves most becomingly.

I had to hand it to Charlie. I looked unbelievable, especially given that we hadn’t really slept yet from the night before. I think I napped maybe an hour or two on the couch sometime earlier in the day…it was more of a slip into unconsciousness I couldn’t really remember. Most of it had been a happy blur of drinking and cocaine and Grey, Grey, Grey…

We’d hung out all night. Like friends. There’d been no more touching or kissing or making out, but the tension was there, like there was a possibility for more. I’d wanted there to be more, had thought about nearly nothing else, but loved the time with him anyway. He was so much fun to be around, so easy for me to talk to .

I couldn’t remember what topics we covered or the funny things he’d said; I could just picture the two of us together on the ratty old couch, my mouth spread into a permanent grin as we laughed and talked and just…were.

The guys had left earlier that afternoon to get ready for their show. They were playing at the Aurora again, like the night I first met Grey…that fateful night not two months ago that changed my entire life. It felt like ages and ages ago…like a totally different time. Back then, Riley and I were friends, best friends. Before Grey and I were…were what? Having fun?

“Wow, Charlie, you’re amazing. Seriously. You have a beauty career ahead of you.” I smiled thankfully at my friend. Charlie bowed. She looked gorgeous as usual—her shiny blonde hair was pulled into a loose pompadour, her dazzling blue top brought out the striking blue of her eyes. It didn’t seem to matter how good I looked.

Next to Charlie, I would always come second.

I didn’t want to mind, though. I didn’t want to be so pettily jealous, not when Charlie was so amazingly nice to me and lent me all her clothes and took care of me the way she did. Not when, for some reason, she liked hanging out with me, a high school kid who couldn’t even (legally) get into bars.

“You look gorgeous.” I forced myself to compliment her. “Seriously.”

She grinned at me, taking some pills from her bedside drawer. “Want to try this tonight? You’ll like it, I promise.”

“I like them all.” I laughed. I was still pretty drunk and high from our non-stop day of partying, but I was up for anything. We took turns sipping from a glass of water on her nightstand. The pill slid down my throat with ease, and I smiled excitedly.

Now all we had to do was wait for the fun to begin.

We did one last mirror check and headed out, bounding down her old squeaky steps, young and eager. The engine of her car roared to life; Slipknot blared over the speakers. We rolled the windows down and lit a smoke. The warm summer wind blew over us as Charlie gunned her little car down the streets, the headlights bouncing over the road. She looked at me and laughed; I smiled at her and threw my head back.

“Whooooo!” I yelled, my eyes shut. There was truly nothing better than the freedom I felt, the absolute release. Life was perfect. Charlie’s smile told me she agreed.

The pill was taking hold by the time we made it to the club. We stumbled from Charlie’s car into the parking lot, giggling and smoking. She fixed a few stray curls for me; I adjusted her top a little .

“We’re perfect. Let’s go. Those boys will eat their hearts out.”

I smiled at the thought and fell into step beside her. I felt shaky good, like a surge of adrenaline, only the adrenaline was pure excitement and joy. I grinned the entire way to the door, let in past the rope without any hassle at all.

These new friends of mine had some good connections.

“I told Zack to save us a table.” Charlie grasped my hand, squeezing and elbowing her way inside. There was barely room to move.

I noticed as we walked that men were nearly snapping their necks to look at Charlie when she passed by them. I tried not to pay attention to it, but then one of them caught my eye. He was looking at me, not at Charlie, and nodding, like he liked what he saw. To my surprise, I realized men were actually looking at me. Well, at least some of them were. I was amazed. I’d never had that happen before, I’d never had that reaction before, not so obviously anyway. I felt great when we finally made it to our table, like a million bucks.

“Did you see all those guys checking you out?” I asked Charlie as we slid onto the tall black stools, in perfect view of the empty, dark stage.

“Me? Nice try. They were looking at you, and you know it.” She lit a smoke, looking out over the crowd. It was so loud we had to yell to be heard, but that was okay with me. I liked the atmosphere, the rowdy partying around us. Music pumped from the dance floor, some Britney Spears number.

“I can’t wait!” I almost squealed.

Charlie smiled at me, fondly. “I know. They’re so good.”

“Do you go to all their shows?”

“More now that I’m with Zack. It helps keep the girls away.” She smiled bitterly. “That’s the shitty thing about the band, you know. All the girls.”

I blinked in thought. “Do you think that’s Grey’s problem?” I worried suddenly. It hadn’t occurred to me before, but it made total sense. “Has he ever had…anyone?”

Charlie shook her head. “I don’t know, Mackenzie. I’m trying to figure it out myself. I’ve only been around for a year or so, like I said, but in that entire time, I’ve never seen Grey with anyone. I mean, he’s the lead singer of a band, so of course he’s with girls, you know, but he’s never been with anybody. He’s never had a girlfriend that I know of…I just, I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?” I leaned forward to hear her better.

“Grey seems so into you. I don’t know. I wouldn’t believe his whole ‘just for fun’ thing. I’ve seen how he acts with girls that are ‘just for fun’. ”

“And?”

“And,” she shrugged. “It’s obvious. He doesn’t sit on the couch with those girls for hours, hanging on their every word…”

“Like he did with me?”

“Yeah. Don’t buy it, Mackenzie. He cares more for you than that, I can tell.”

“You can?”

“Yes. And you deserve more than that, too. Don’t forget.”

“Charlie?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Charlie burst out laughing. She smiled at me and stamped her smoke out.

“Sounds like that pill’s kicking in.”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. You?”

She laughed again. “Yes.” We giggled.

“But I still love you, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.”

The music shut off suddenly, and still grinning, Charlie and I turned expectantly toward the stage. The crowd started cheering and shouting, even before the lights came up and the band was illuminated on stage. Once that happened, they went crazy; the noise was deafening. I smiled, happy Serpentine was so popular. That had to feel good, to have people screaming for you. I wondered what was going through Grey’s mind at that moment.

I recognized the band now; it was different from the first time. Alex on drums, Lucas on bass, Zack on guitar and Jimmy on keys. I let my eyes pass over them; there was really only one man I wanted to see. I needed to see.

He was standing in the front centre of the stage with his back to the audience. I watched him, enraptured. The band started playing, the guitars chugging the intro of the song, Zack and Lucas flanking either side of the stage. Grey stood between them, still backwards, his guitar hanging lazily from its strap. Then, the music got louder, more intense, and just before it reached the crescendo, Grey turned, gripped the microphone stand, and screamed into it.

The moment he started singing, the crowd erupted into near mayhem.

My breath caught in my throat. The sight of him up there in the spotlight, the dark blue jeans that hugged his thighs as he tapped his leg to the beat, the studded belt around his hips, the black Tool t-shirt that hugged his torso and showed off the smooth muscular biceps of his darkly tanned arms…I felt my heart swell until it was bursting. I put my hand to my chest and just stared.

I loved Grey, more than anybody else ever could. I loved him more than I thought I loved him before. He was perfect, in every way. He was meant for me in every way. His voice was smooth but raspy, thick and raw, silky but edged with a growl. It reminded me of copper, somehow, but that didn’t make any sense. He sang and looked out over the crowd and shook his head back and forth in time. He held his guitar loosely slung across his hips, resting on his spread-out legs. His fingers danced across the fretboard with skill; his studded leather bracelets flashed in the stage lights. The cherry red electric guitar responded eagerly to his capable hands, resounding with the chugging wails and intricate notes Grey’s fingers demanded of it.

A sexy smirk flitted across his lips.

The songs were good, but he made them better. The whole band really made the show, but I couldn’t look at any of the others. My eyes were only for Grey.

Charlie was in her chair, smoking, her eyes shut, nodding her head with the beat. I couldn’t sit. I could merely stare—stare and fall madly, impossibly more in love with Grey at every strum of his guitar strings. My heart belonged to him and no one else.

The pill was hitting me with full force. I nearly staggered with delight as waves of euphoria crashed sweetly over me, smiling up at the man I loved, pure joy overflowing from somewhere deep inside.

As if I was beckoning him, Grey turned suddenly, and he looked around until he found me, and then our eyes locked. His beautiful blue eyes met mine with such force I couldn’t breathe. It felt like he was seeing into my soul, his gaze was so intense, so powerful. We stared at each other, and I tried to pour into my expression everything I was feeling. How he was making me feel, what I felt for him, what I would do for him.

I don’t know what Grey saw there reflected in my face, but his lips curved into a smile, his sexy smirk, and then he turned away from me, singing into the mic.

He hadn’t missed a beat; I doubt our moment lasted as long as it felt.

But I was trembling.

The rest of the set was a blur; I don’t even know how much longer it lasted. I was seeing lights before my eyes and had to sit to keep from falling over. There was a cigarette non-stop between my fingers, and my legs shook with pent-up energy. The pill was intense, perhaps strengthened by the sheer force of my emotions. Or it could’ve been the steady diet of booze and blow I’d survived on for the last twenty- four hours…or maybe because I really couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. Whatever the reason for the intensity, I just focused on Grey as much as I could, a smile bending my lips even as my teeth chattered uncontrollably.

“This hitting you yet?” Charlie wondered. Her pupils were like saucers in the dim.

“Definitely…” I giggled, trembling, grinding my teeth. “Are my eyes as big as yours?”

She laughed. “Once I figure out how to look at my own eyes, I’ll let you know.”

I giggled with her, almost hysterical, totally giddy.

“Want a drink? I think the waitress is coming around.”

“I want a rye.” I decided, vaguely remembering the night I came to the Aurora with Riley when he made me promise not to drink anything on drugs.

I shrugged the dim memory off. If Riley really cared, he wouldn’t be moving away forever without telling me. He’d be there with me, telling me not to drink.

“Come on, baby.” Charlie swept her drink up, her eyes lit blue as she grasped my hand. We stumbled our way into the VIP room, crowded with Serpentine fans. It was so much different stepping through the door this time. I smiled at everyone I saw.

Tom was leaning against the wall in a thick leather coat, talking to two other men about his age. He nodded at me. Lucas and Jimmy were settled at the bar, with girls surrounding them on either side. They clinked some shots together and then threw them back, to the delight of all the women.

I followed Charlie and Zack, but I was looking only for Grey. Finally, I spotted him and Alex stepping out of the little back room that adjoined the VIP section. I knew now—because I knew them—that they’d been doing blow back there. Probably the same place Grey disappeared to the first night I met him.

I shook my hair back and suddenly wished for a mirror.

“Charlie.” I whisper-hissed. I couldn’t take my eyes off Grey. “Do I look okay?”

She turned and gave me a discreet once-over. A smile crept over her lips. “You look fucking hot, Mackenzie. Go knock him dead.”

I laughed at her. “Did I mention I love you?”

“Go.” She smiled and gave me a little push.

Grey and Alex were now in the centre of the room, around the group of people settled on the thin leather couches and chairs. He hadn’t noticed me yet…or maybe he had and was ignoring me. Either way, I didn’t want to go right to him. I brushed my hair back and walked towards the bar, conscious of my tight-fitting black dress, the tall le ather boots that hugged my calves. I hoped Charlie was telling the truth. I wanted to be hot; I wanted Grey to want me.

I ordered another drink, sudden butterflies in my stomach. The waitress plunked the rye on the bar and I took a shaky sip. I knew the moment I turned to look behind me Grey and I would see each other, but the anticipation was like a drug. I took a deep breath, lit a smoke, and finally turned around, leaning my back on the bar.

It was instant. I could feel his eyes on me before I met them. Grey’s gorgeous face was caught in an expression of amazement that betrayed his normal cool. His blue eyes were wide, his mouth open slightly. I delighted in his reaction, watching as his gaze swept over my body, slowly, as if he were savouring every moment. My pulse began to beat rapidly, even faster than before. I bit my lip and looked at him, met his eyes when at last they returned to my face. He had composed himself by then, his expression slipping easily back into the calm, collected Grey he showed everyone.

It was too late; I knew the effect I had on him. I’d seen the evidence in his face.

I smiled gloriously and took a drag of my cigarette.

“Hey, Mackenzie, right? Can I have one of those?” Jimmy disrupted our moment, shouting at me from his spot just down the bar. I turned my smile to the young faux-hawked man.

“Of course.” I nodded, slowly letting my eyes slip from Grey’s gaze. I walked down the bar and handed Jimmy a cigarette.

“I ran out.” He explained.

“Sure.” I turned to look back at Grey. He had moved as well, almost mimicking my movement, so we were in the same proximity as before, just in different places in the room. Our eyes met, and a slow smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. I grinned.

This continued throughout the evening. Slowly we moved around the room, finding some excuse to keep from actually meeting, staring at each other whenever we had the opportunity. It was like a bizarre dance we were doing, and though there was space between us, the heat between us was unreal. The thrill of anticipation.

Eventually, there were no more excuses, no one else to talk to, nowhere else to stand. Just Grey and I, coming slowly together as if it were the most natural movement in the world. We stopped close—close enough I could smell his delicious scent, could feel the heat coming off his body. We looked at each other a moment.

I could barely breathe.

“Damn, girl.” He looked down into my eyes and chuckled. I knew he was referring to my wide, black pupils. I shrugged without looking away. Then, wordlessly, his hand slid down my arm, from my elbow to my hand. I shivered at his touch. He took my hand in his and gently pulled me from the room.

We emerged back into the loud, rowdy part of the club. The party was still going strong. I wanted to die with happiness as Grey led me through the crowd, his hand around mine. The women staring longingly at him would turn in surprise as we passed, glaring at me when they realized we were together.

I didn’t care. They could all hate me, I didn’t care. I was with Grey.

“Kryptonite” by Three Doors Down was playing. We found a space on the dance floor, but we didn’t need much room. Grey placed his hands on my hips, pulling me near. I looked up at him as we moved together. He smiled, his lips curving against his stubbled cheeks, his tanned skin. I pressed my hands against the top of his chest, trailing them slowly down his hard torso, feeling each and every muscle defined beneath my fingertips. I bit my lip and looked up at him, into the full, scorching gaze of his deep blue eyes.

It took mere moments until we were kissing. He pulled me toward him, burying his hand in the curls at the back of my neck to bring me closer yet. I wrapped my arms around him, running my fingers through his hair. We moved together in time to the song, but neither of us was dancing anymore. We kissed feverishly, almost desperately, as the song played through…and the next, and the next…

His hands were on my arms, my back, my hips, scorching through the thin black fabric of my dress as if I were wearing nothing at all.

And suddenly, I didn’t want to be.

As if he could read my mind, Grey pulled away, his blue eyes smouldering. I didn’t want him to stop. He took my hand again, and wordlessly, we left the dance floor. He led me through the crowd, impatient, almost. I didn’t think to wonder where we were going, so long as we continued where we left off. Hastily, we made our way through the partiers into the VIP section, then down the hallway into the little room off the back. I wondered if anyone was staring at us, but I didn’t turn to look.

The room was empty. There were a few club chairs in a circle and a round coffee table in the middle. A chalky mirror sat on the table. I took all this in with one glance as Grey shut the door behind us. As soon as the lock was turned, Grey grasped me tightly by the hips with his strong hands and pushed me roughly toward the nearest chair. I fell back willingly, eagerly accepting his weight as it crushed down on me. I wrapped my legs around him and met his lips with just as much intensity .

His hands felt so good. His hands and his lips and just the hardness of his body as it pressed against mine. I’d never felt this way before with any other boy. I’d never experienced this level of lust, of complete and utter abandon. I couldn’t think straight anymore; I just wanted all of me to experience all of him. I couldn’t get enough.

Swiftly, I ripped his shirt off, delighting in the dark, hard muscle of his chest, running my hands down it. Slowly his hands moved from my hips to my waist, and I moaned at the delicious trail of heat they left upon my skin. Desperately, I wanted his hands to move up. I arched my back instinctively, pressing my chest against him. Grey made a noise then, like a growl almost, and moved his hand to my breast.

The moment he touched me, I knew I would have sex with him. The thought took me by surprise as I realized we were headed in that exact direction. I wanted it though—I did, more than I ever had with anyone else. I’d never done it with any other boy because I’d never felt like this before. I’d never wanted someone so badly. I’d never been in love, real love, like I was with Grey.

I welcomed his caresses fervently. I felt his hand on my knee, his fingers trailing fire as they slowly moved up my leg, under my skirt, up my thigh…

“I love you. I love you, Grey.” I spoke the words before I realized it. They just slipped out. I’d been thinking them, and suddenly they were on my lips, and I’d said them. My eyes opened wide, and I looked up at Grey, curious to see how he’d react.

He chuckled. “That’s the drugs, sugar.” He kissed me. I giggled, too, kissing him back, relieved my words hadn’t totally freaked him out.

But the sudden pause, however brief, was enough to clear my head a little.

I did love Grey, my words had been true, and I would give him everything. Everything, even if he had nothing to give me in return. Suddenly, I needed him to know that. It was rash, impulsive and super, super stupid of me, but I desperately wanted to share with Grey everything I was feeling. And I had to act fast before I stopped thinking altogether…

“Wait, wait, Grey,” I whispered breathlessly.

“What?” His voice was husky in my ear.

“I do.” I looked at him, right in the eyes. My heart hammered in my chest; I prayed I wouldn’t lose courage. I placed my hands on either side of his face. “I do love you.”

“No, you don’t.” He grinned. “That’s just the drug—”

“No, it’s not the drugs,” I argued. “I felt this way before I took them. I love you.” The more I said it, the easier it became.

He scoffed and chuckled at me. “What is this, some kind of joke? ”

“No, it’s not a joke.” I sat up slightly. “I’m totally serious. I’m not going to play head games with you or screw you around or anything. I want to be honest with you, always.”

“You love me?” Grey repeated skeptically. He eyed me warily.

“Yes. Yes, I love you. I think I have from the first moment…” I smiled and traced my finger over his lips, slightly parted, tinged red from my lipstick. I glanced up at him hopefully. Grey looked at a complete loss. His eyebrows were furrowed, his jaw was clenched, but his blue eyes were still warm. It looked like he was processing my words, going over them in his head, trying to make sense of them.

“Can I prove it to you?” I whispered. “Can I show you?” I caressed his cheek with my thumb a moment and then pulled his face down to mine. Our lips met, and quickly the intensity between us renewed. If anything, Grey became more aggressive, almost like he was in a sudden hurry. Roughly, he shoved the skirt of my dress up over my hips, his hands hard against my skin. I didn’t mind; I’d do anything he wanted—I just couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Was it possible he loved me too? Did this new ardour mean he shared my feelings?

Or were his frenzied kisses simply his way of getting me to shut up?

I didn’t know, but my heart beat harder as I realized what was about to happen. I was about to have sex for the first time. With Grey. I wondered briefly if it would hurt, but quickly pushed the thought aside. It didn’t matter. I put my hands to the back of his head and deepened our kiss, twining my fingers in his dark, unruly hair. He was everything I’d ever wanted.

Then, abruptly, Grey pulled away from me. His face was suddenly hard, his jaw clenched. He leaned back from me and glared—long gone was the warmth from his blue eyes. He was breathing heavily. I looked at him in utter confusion, stammering.

“What—”

“You love me.” It was a statement, like an accusation, almost.

I swallowed and nodded, slowly. “Yes,” I whispered.

Grey scoffed. He shook his head and chuckled lowly. His movements became swift and rigid as he pushed himself away from me, snatching his hands away like my flesh was poison. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and whipped it over his head, his muscled torso disappearing beneath the fabric. I could do nothing but watch him, alarmed by the sudden change in his mood .

Clearly, the feelings I’d professed were something Grey did not want to hear. I couldn’t regret my decision to tell him, because every word was true. But I did regret the way he glared at me now. I wished he felt the same.

“That’s just too damn bad,” Grey spoke. “Because you mean nothing to me.” He made sure I was looking, waited until, wincing, I looked into his cold, hostile blue eyes. “You got that? Nothing.” He repeated, his voice low, malicious. “I don’t love you, I don’t like you. I don’t even care about you. You’re just a fucking lay; I tried to tell you that. And I don’t need this shit.”

A sob escaped my throat. I didn’t mean to let it happen, but the hatred in his voice wounded me deeply, piercing through the chemically induced euphoria to strike me directly in the heart. I clutched at my chest, trying desperately to stifle the sting.

Grey just looked at me, like he was disgusted. Like I was disgusting to him. He shut his eyes and shook his head again, slowly. The chuckle that escaped his perfect lips was condescending; his voice was edged with annoyance.

“Damn teenagers.” He muttered. Without another glance in my direction, he turned and stalked towards the door. It slammed loudly as he left the room, abandoning me in humiliated misery.