CHAPTER 39
The wind sailed over us as we raced down the highway on his motorcycle. I clung to Grey, clad in his large black jacket, my crinoline skirt blowing haphazardly in the breeze, just like Allison from my favourite movie, Cry Baby, after Wade Walker rescues her from the Charm School.
We’d been riding for half an hour solid, but there was still plenty of highway to go until we reached home. I snuggled down into his warm jacket and hugged Grey closer.
When I caught up to him back in the hotel lobby, his fists were clenched with anger, tension obvious in his stiff gait as he stalked across the polished floors.
“Grey!” I’d called, running to meet him. “Wait.”
He half-turned to me, his eyes lighting up with surprise, but then shook his head. “I’m really sorry, Mackenzie.” He walked on. “But I have to go.”
“I know.” I panted, keeping pace with him. “I’m coming with you.”
That stopped him in his tracks. He whirled to face me. “What?”
“I said I’m coming with you.”
“But the wedding…your family…they’re going to be pissed.”
“I don’t care.”
Grey stared at me, hesitating. For a brief moment, the scowl set on his lips was replaced by the smirk I loved so much. He shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to me, internal debate resolved.
“You’re going to need this.” He stated, grasping my hand. “Come on. ”
Now, I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. My fingers could feel the taut, warm muscle of his abdomen beneath his thin white dress shirt. I felt so alive, riding off into the sunset with him. I was exactly where I wanted to be. I’d go wherever he wanted. I’d be happy so long as we were together.
There was something in the air—something thrilling. I could feel it. Like the fire from our earlier stolen moments had been banked, and the wind was feeding the flames, igniting them to burn hotter and hotter. The air was charged, almost thick with anticipation, like watching a lightning storm approaching from the distance.
Maybe Grey could feel the current of electricity pulsing between us, too. He was pushing the motorcycle fast and hard, in a hurry, a rush, leaving me breathless and excited, my pulse racing with exhilaration.
It was dark when we finally pulled up at his house. I bit my lip, frenzied, my tummy tingling as I climbed off the bike, my heart thrumming in my chest.
“You’re shaking.” Grey noticed as he grasped my hand.
I shook my head, unable to speak. I wasn’t trembling from the cold. If anything, I felt overheated as we walked together towards the front door.
Inside, the darkened house was stuffy and smelled like stale cigarette smoke. Grey went ahead of me, flipping on lights and opening windows as I stepped out of my ballerina high heels and shrugged out of his coat. The night air felt cool against my heated, dewy skin but brought no relief to the glowing warmth within me.
I couldn’t take it any longer. Grey stood with his back to me, his white shirt sleeves rolled up against the hard, dark muscles of his arm, completely sexy and totally irresistible even at that angle. He took some bottles of beer from the fridge and set them down on the counter to open.
“There’s not much for food here. Are you hungry?” He asked casually.
“No.” Not for food, anyway. I gulped and took a shaky breath, biting my lip.
Grey smirked. “You okay? You look kinda flushed.”
“No.” My voice was barely audible. Then, with some nerve I didn’t know existed, I kept his eyes locked in my gaze and with a trembling hand, I slowly undid the zipper on the back of my dress. Grey watched me, stunned, his blue eyes burning as the gown fell to my feet—crinoline, sequins and all. I saw his fists clench, his jaw tense. I stood before him in nothing but my strapless bra and lace underwear, letting him take me in, his gaze languid, savouring. Then, with one last brazen shred of daring, I reached up and pulled the pins from my hair until the black curls were tumbling wild and free, cascading around my shoulders .
“Mackenzie…” His voice was low, throaty and uneven. He seemed to be hesitating, but even then, he couldn’t rip his eyes away. Grey stared at me in awe, his fists clenching tighter as if to keep from reaching for me. “Are you…sure?”
“Yes.” I declared breathlessly. “Yes, Grey…please…”
In a matter of moments I was in his strong, warm arms, his lips furious, feverish against mine as he crushed me to him. I kissed him back with just as much fervour, my hands in his hair; cupping his face, pulling open the buttons of his shirt…I couldn’t get enough of him. I couldn’t be close enough to him. My heart sailed with happiness; my lips smiled as I kissed him everywhere I could reach.
“I love you, Grey, I want you…” I whispered in his ear. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifted me up against him, and staggering with passion, he carried me down the hallway and into his bedroom.
I was no longer a virgin. The thought made me smile, like now I was part of some exclusive, special club, like Grey and I had this great secret to share. I’d never imagined being so intimate with someone, so totally…naked in every sense of the word. I loved it. It was everything I’d ever wanted and more. Thrilling, pleasing…just…satisfying. I sighed contentedly and blew the smoke from my mouth, thankful I’d waited all those years and done it with someone I actually loved.
I’d felt so safe the entire time, Grey made sure I felt that way. Even in the heat of the moment, in the throes of utter lust and passion, he’d held back, forcing himself to stop until he knew for sure it was what I wanted. His eyes had been so brilliantly blue, so full of care and concern when he asked I would’ve said yes anyway, even if I hadn’t been one hundred percent certain.
He was relaxed now, his face peaceful, satisfied as he lay back against his bent arms and smoked. I cuddled up against his chest, my arm thrown over him, my fingers trailing lightly down his taut skin. It was dark in his room; his bedside lamp cast dim light upon us and threw long shadows across the band posters covering the walls. The moon was almost full; it shone brightly in the summer night sky, glowing in through the uncovered window to rest gently on our bare skin.
“When do you have to go back to the city?” My voice was faint, already saddened by the thought of his departure. We’d only started to explore these uncharted waters; it seemed a total shame to drop anchor now. I was impatient to continue the adventure, eager to discover the unknown. Like everything I’d ever experienced with Grey, once I got a taste, I only wanted more .
“My flight leaves Monday morning, early. It was the first I could get. The guys will probably be pissed at me for not being back sooner.”
“Monday?” I was elated by the news. I got Grey to myself for another whole day. I shivered excitedly and smiled. “Sorry about the guys. Were they mad you left?”
“Yeah. Well, more like…they didn’t understand it.” Grey chuckled wryly. “I didn’t understand it either, really.”
“Didn’t understand what?” I turned my head to look up at his face.
“Well…” He avoided my gaze, like he always did when struggling for words. “I mean, there I was, in the studio, doing the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do, and I couldn’t stop thinking…about you.”
“About me?” I couldn’t believe it.
“Yes. You.” He cleared his throat. I nestled back against his hard chest.
“Then…why didn’t you call?” I wondered. It just didn’t make any sense to me. “I wanted to hear from you so badly.”
“I know.” He rubbed my arm. “I’m sorry. It was so stupid. I guess I’m just…I’m not used to…needing people, you know? I’ve always been kind of on my own; I never really needed anyone else. But then, when I was gone…when I realized how badly I missed you…fuck, it terrified me. I tried to deny it. I didn’t want to admit how badly I…need you. But I do.” He stroked his hand through my hair, sending little shivers through me. I listened intently. “I thought it would get easier, but it didn’t. I just had to accept it. And once I did, I knew I had to see you. I wanted you to be surprised.”
I smiled, touched by his admission. I loved that he needed me just as badly as I needed him, the thought made me happy. “I was surprised. You have no idea.”
“Good,” Grey smirked. His lips spread into a grin, and then he chuckled. “Not as surprised as Jake Donovan, though.”
“No.” I laughed with him, remembering the way Jake flailed across the dance floor, picturing the look of total shock on his face.
“I don’t know, maybe it was stupid of me, but it felt really, really good to hit that guy.” Grey mused. “Just listening to your parents rant and rave about him all night, I mean, it’s obvious they’d prefer you with someone like him. And then seeing him kiss you, I just…I guess I lost it.” His fists clenched unconsciously at the memory.
“I’m glad you did. He deserved it.” I sighed. “And Grey, I’m sorry about my parents. I had no idea they’d be so…horrible.”
Grey shrugged. “It’s okay. I didn’t expect them to welcome me with open arms.”
“What? Why not?” I frowned. “You deserve that much. ”
“Because, Mackenzie,” Grey smirked like I was missing something obvious. “Look at me. I’ve got nothing. I’m a twenty-one-year-old cook…I’ve got no house, no education…nothing but my guitar and this crazy hope of making it big. I’m not the guy parents want with their daughter.”
“But that’s not fair.” My frown deepened. “To just judge the outside stuff, the stuff that doesn’t even matter…that’s so stupid. If they gave you a chance and really got to know you, I know they’d love you just as much as I do.”
“I doubt that.” He shook his head. “You’re blind, Mackenzie. I mean, you think I’m this amazing guy, but I’m not. I’m a loser, a total screw-up. Everyone can see it but you.”
“Grey,” I was appalled. “You are not a loser. I will never forgive them for making you feel that way.”
“Everyone in that room was thinking the same thing when they saw us together. Even I’ve been thinking it.” He looked down at me then, his smirk fading seriously. “You could do better, you know.”
“Better?” I repeated, as if trying to make sense of the word. “How could I do better?” I sat up slightly so he could see the sincerity in my expression. “Who else would leave the studio…their dream…just to be with me for a weekend? You…you take care of me, tonight you gave me your coat and went without, just so I wouldn’t get cold. And you cared enough to wait for sex until I was really, truly ready. Who else would do that?” My voice was soft, earnest. “Grey, trust me, there is no one better for me than you.”
His arms tightened around me, his blue eyes soft and tender as he looked down into my face. “I’ll try. I’ll try to be the best for you.” He promised. “It’s hard though…sometimes…I mean, you’re so trusting, and you look at me with such…pride, like I’m this dream come true or something. I know it’s only a matter of time before I do screw up, before I do something to really hurt you, and I can’t…I can’t bear the thought. You think too highly of me, and I’m only going to disappoint you.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I didn’t know how to convince him he would never disappoint me, no matter what. I would love him, no matter what.
Silently I stroked my fingers slowly down his chest.
He sighed. “Maybe I don’t have to worry. One day you’re going to figure out how beautiful you are, and then I’ll be out of the picture for good.” Grey shrugged. “It’ll be better that way. I’m too selfish to let you go. ”
I wanted to argue with him, I sat up to protest, but he stopped me with a shake of his head. A smirk bent his lips as he looked at me, and his blue eyes began to gleam wickedly. “Until then…” he pulled me up to him, his strong arms wrapping around me, holding me close. “I’m going to enjoy every minute.”
My smile was glorious as he kissed me.