EPILOGUE
People say God doesn’t work miracles anymore. They long for the Bible days, desperate to witness God’s hand moving in obvious ways like he did back then: holding the sun in the sky, turning water to wine, raising people from the dead.
I know better. I know God works miracles. He worked one in me.
Once upon a time, I was lost. Lost, but blind to my aimlessness. Searching desperately, seeking always for something to satisfy my soul, for something to fill me up. Looking and striving and toiling in vain for the answer.
Who knew I would find what I was looking for the second I stopped searching.
I’ve never been worth saving. I’ll never be worth saving. I thank God every day for his grace, for stretching out his hand and pulling me from the mire of my life, the mess I had created, and saving me.
Sometimes I can’t fathom it, but luckily for me, he doesn’t feel that way. He loves me like no other, like no other love I’ve ever found. Like the sky, stretching far off into distant space, ever reaching, never stopping…that’s like his love for me. It doesn’t make any sense. How? Why? How could someone so unworthy be worth saving, worth loving? From the mountaintops I want to shout out all the great things he’s done for me.
I’ll write them down instead.
I wish that there were words to fully describe it…I hope you know what I’m speaking of. He is it. The purpose for everything. The reason. Like a great treasure, far off in the distance, beaming brightly, drawing you near. More than gold and silver and all the riches of the earth. When you find him, you find peace. Joy. Salvation. And for the rest of your life, you rejoice in your treasure. You thank the Lord for drawing your fe et down the path that lead you to him. The moment he speaks to you, your life will change completely. The moment you reach out for him, you’ll never be the same.
I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s nothing wild and hyper-spiritual or odd or crazy. It’s just God. Believing in God. Believing in Jesus. Believing I’m saved.
Loved, wholly, completely, with all my broken parts. Forever.
Just the way I am.
I’m going to be battling this addiction for the rest of my life. I know that. I’ve accepted it. God doesn’t magically take away all your problems. But he helps you deal. He can help you with anything. All you have to do is ask.
All day long, I see people struggling. Succumbing to their sickness, defeated by their weakness, helpless in their obsessions. Addicted. So I tell them my story in hopes that it will save them, somehow. It’s the only way I know.
God saved me in a real way, and I know He can save them too.
And he can save you, if you’ll let him.