2. Lochlan
“Do you want to tank or heal?” I ask Dex via voice chat.
We could have made the room Eddie vacated into a gaming room. Hell, we should have made it into one, so Dex and I could game side by side rather than in different rooms. But we’ve left it empty. All right, I’ve left it empty. One day, one of us might find someone to fill that room. We might find someone. Then again, if we found someone who loved us equally, they’d share our room. Of course, they’d probably have to love gaming too.
“I’d rather be a damage dealer,” Dex replies.
“Do you want to get into this raiding party or not?”
Tanks and healers are the least played classes in Eventide. I get it. Being able to dole out damage at a furious rate of knots is exhilarating. Armour sets tend to look cooler on damager dealers too. But someone needs to tank and heal, especially in hard dungeons and raiding content.
“Fine, I’ll be the party’s meat shield.”
I grin. “I was hoping you’d tank.”
“I can’t believe you actually enjoy playing a healer. It’s too stressful.”
“It’s fun. Besides, as a healer, I get to hold your balls in my hands.”
“You can do that whenever you want, sexy.”
I chuckle. “Later.”
“Is that a promise?”
I blow Dex a noisy kiss through the microphone. My attention shifts to my laptop screen as the holding video cuts to the in-game party finder window, with the livestream of The Pastel Gamer in the bottom right-hand corner.
“And I’m back. Who’s joining me?” he asks.
I swear he’s touched up his make-up during his ten-minute break. He’s so fucking cute.
“We are,” I say decisively as I quickly find the party he’s setting up and register my and Dex’s avatars.
“We got in.” Dex’s voice is full of amazement.
“Did you doubt my quick reflexes, babe?”
“Not for a second.”
I snort. He did. I doubted I would be fast enough too.
“Wow, that was fast. Thanks, everyone. Let’s do this,” The Pastel Gamer says.
I mute my laptop as my screen goes momentarily black before shifting to the title screen of the raid. All eight avatars in the party appear in a holding area with a wintry, ruined Medieval castle aesthetic and chilling music. Character names range from genre-appropriate ones, like my and Dex’s avatars have, to downright ridiculous. One player has named his short, stout dwarf Crayon Crime for reasons I can’t fathom.
Dex’s avatar, Alric Todd, is a tall elf who looks resplendent, wielding a sparkling, matching sword and shield and wearing the shiny end-game armour we spent hours grinding to get. His avatar has the highest hit points and best armour value of the whole party. He needs it, as he’ll be taking the majority of the damage during the fight. Tanks have passive skills that convince monsters to hit them rather than the weaker members of the party, like my healer.
My avatar, Geirolf Heart, is a dragon-kin, the tallest race in the game. It seemed fitting, considering I’m six foot six. As the healer, I must keep everyone else alive. I’m also expected to throw damaging spells at the boss when I’m not healing.
I’ve seen The Pastel Gamer’s catboy avatar dozens of times. He’s wearing armour with the same pastel aesthetic he wears during his streams. His avatar is an archer, which is a wise choice, as he’ll be distracted by giving his followers a running commentary and answering their questions. I don’t know how he keeps up a constant flow of chatter while playing. When I’m in the zone, I’m damn near silent.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Thanks for joining me.
The text-based party chat is fuzzed out on the stream, so only the eight of us in the raid can read what’s said there.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Let’s not take this too seriously, okay? I want to have fun. I honestly don’t care if we clear this raid or not.
One of the avatars vanishes from the party menu.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Huh. Was it something I said?
CRAYON CRIME
They were probably hoping to clear it.
A new avatar appears in the holding area.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Hi! Thanks for joining us.
“You’re reading his messages in his voice, aren’t you?” Dex asks over voice chat.
“So are you.”
“Guilty as charged.”
I sigh. “He has a nice voice.”
“You’ve got it bad.”
THE PASTEL GAMER
Is everyone ready?
Seven variations of ‘yes’ appear in the chat window.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Let’s go.
Dex’s avatar moves out of the holding area and throws a low-powered ranged attack at the first pack of monsters. He runs through them so they all have their backs to the rest of the party, which means all their frontal area of attack mechanics will be aimed at him, not us. We clear them up with ease and move on, knowing the real challenge lies ahead.
We get through the next two packs easily enough and then come face to face with the first boss monster, a hideous creature loosely based on a harpy from Greek mythology. Dex’s breathing through my headset is oddly calming, helping me to focus on the party’s hit bars and the area of effect damage markers the boss throws out far too regularly. It’s hard to stand still long enough to cast spells as I dance out of the way of one attack after another. My pulse quickens as things get more hectic the farther through the fight we get.
“Damn, this is hard,” Dex mutters.
“We’ve got this, babe.”
Famous last words. Crayon Crime’s hit bar goes from full to empty before I can cast a healing spell.
CRAYON CRIME
What the fuck? Why didn’t you heal me?
I grit my teeth. Most players are cool, but there’s always the odd arsehole.
EXCITED HEDGEHOG
Maybe you shouldn’t have stood in the damage marker.
Excited Hedgehog is an orc thief in a crop top and shorts.
I use my quick cast ability and a resurrection spell to get Crayon Crime back on his feet, only for him to bite the dust seconds later.
EXCITED HEDGEHOG
You need to fucking move.
CRAYON CRIME
I’ve got little legs.
EXCITED HEDGEHOG
Bullshit. Everyone moves at the same speed.
CRAYON CRIME
Thieves have speed boosts.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Hey, can you cool it, please? This is meant to be fun.
I glance at my laptop. The Pastel Gamer is smiling and laughing. Getting visibly annoyed at party members wouldn’t make good content.
My quick cast ability is on cool down. Without it, the resurrection spell takes thirty long seconds to cast. Thirty seconds where I can’t move or heal anyone else. Thanks to Crayon Crime’s inability to dodge the area of effect damage, we wipe.
EXCITED HEDGEHOG
Fuck this. I didn’t sign up to play with morons.
The orc thief vanishes from the party list. A second later, a pop-up asking us to vote on abandoning the raid appears on the screen.
“I’m choosing ‘no’,” I say to Dex.
“Me too. Those two were taking it way too seriously.”
“Yup.”
“Dying’s par for the course with hard content.”
“Unless you’re the tank.”
He laughs. “I died too.”
“Only after everyone else was dead.”
“Next time, don’t hard cast res and concentrate on keeping yourself alive.”
“Yes, boss.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m not your boss.”
“But you could be.”
Dex sucks in a breath. “I prefer it when you’re the boss, sexy.”
The vote to abandon isn’t passed, but one by one, avatars wink out of existence until only three remain. On the stream, The Pastel Gamer says something, and then his holding video reappears.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Well, that didn’t go like I’d hoped it would. Thanks for not bailing.
ALRIC TODD
Don’t take it to heart. Some players are just jerks. You were doing great.
I smile at Dex’s words. Trust my amazing husband to do what he can to make The Pastel Gamer feel better.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Thanks. I know I’m not the best player by a long shot, but I wanna have fun, y’know?
GEIROLF HEART
There’s more to gaming than clearing content.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Right? And that’s what I want to show my audience. That you can have fun without being the best of the best. That Eventide is for casual and hardcore gamers alike.
Damn, he’s adorable.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Where do you fall on that scale?
ALRIC TODD
We’re somewhere in the middle.
THE PASTEL GAMER
You know each other? No wonder you were so in sync.
GEIROLF HEART
We weren’t that in sync.
Despite my attempt at humility, his praise strokes my ego.
THE PASTEL GAMER
You were. Hey, do you want to hop on voice chat? It’s easier than typing. I’ve killed the feed, by the way, so you don’t need to worry about me putting you live on the internet.
“Do you want to?” I ask Dex.
“Hmm, let me think. Do I want to give my sexy husband a chance to talk to the twink of his dreams?”
“And of your dreams.”
He laughs. “Yes, and of mine.”
GEIROLF HEART
We’re already chatting. I’ll give you a link to join us.
I put it in the party chat window.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Are you in the same clan?
GEIROLF HEART
Yes, but we’re also married in real life.
THE PASTEL GAMER
Really? Cool. Joining your voice chat channel now.
“Hey,” he says a moment later in a sweet, soft voice.
“Hi,” Dex and I reply simultaneously. We burst into laughter.
“Wow, could we be any more couply?” Dex asks. “I’m Alric Todd, by the way. Or Dexter in the real world.”
“I’m Lochlan,” I say.
“You don’t have to tell us your name,” Dex says.
A countdown appears on my PC screen, warning us we’re about to get kicked out of the raid due to inactivity.
“We have an in-character house. If you want to, you could come hang out there with us,” I say.
Dex sends me a private text message:
DEX
Bold.
LOCK
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
“I’d like that, thanks. Where should I teleport to?” The Pastel Gamer asks.
“Farshadow Shores. Lot seven,” I reply at the same moment we get kicked out of the raid.
My and Dex’s avatars appear outside our shared in-game house. It’s a cottage with a garden we’ve decorated with several softly glowing flowers. It’s prettiest at night. A moment later, a familiar pastel catboy jogs up the path towards our avatars. He stops and uses the wave emote, then closes the gap between us with his dash skill.
“Sweet house,” he says.
“Wait until you see inside,” Dex says.
“That’s an invitation, by the way.” I click on the door to go inside the cottage.
“Wow.” The catboy wanders around the cosy living room. “It’s like a forest inside. It’s so cosy. I’ve got a house too, but it looks nothing like this.”
I frown. “I didn’t know you had a house.”
“I’ve never shown it on stream. Right now, it’s my secret. My little haven in-game, where I can hide out. But this—this is a thousand times nicer. I’m in awe.”
I grin. “Thanks. You know—” I press my lips together.
“What?”
DEX
Spit it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Remember?
I take a breath. “You could hang out here if you want. Or we could help you decorate your house.”
“Really?” The catboy sits in the middle of the floor and cycles through poses until his hands are resting between his splayed knees.
“Really.”
“I’d like that. You’re not like a lot of the other gamers I’ve chatted to.”
“How so?” Dex asks.
“They don’t treat me like a normal person. Most of the time, they ask if they can be a guest on one of my streams or if they can be part of a permanent party with me. Or they want my address so they can send me fan mail.”
I shudder. “That doesn’t sound fun.”
“Eh, I guess it comes with the territory. On the bright side, I’m rarely alone when I’m in the game.” A hint of sadness tinges his voice.
DEX
Never alone, but still lonely?
LOCK
I get that impression too.
If I could, I’d hold The Pastel Gamer in my arms so he never felt lonely again.
“My name’s Avery, by the way.”
Wow. I didn’t expect him to tell us his name.
DEX
Beautiful name.
LOCK
Beautiful guy.
“We won’t tell anyone,” Dex says.
“Your secret is safe with us,” I say.
“Thanks. And thank you for saving what was otherwise a sucky party. It’s been fun meeting you.”
“Does that mean you’re going?” I ask.
LOCK
Did that sound needy?
DEX
No. Stop overthinking.
“Not unless you want me to. I’d understand if I’ve outstayed my welcome,” Avery replies.
“You haven’t,” Dex assures him.
“You couldn’t.” Shit. Did I say that out loud?
The catboy cycles through sit animations until his legs are stretched out and he’s leaning back on his hands with his head tilted. It’s easy to imagine Avery sitting in exactly the same way. It’s a cute mental image.
He uses the grin emote, which is adorable on a catboy avatar. “Well, in that case, I’d love to stick around and chat.”