1. Lev
Lev hid his laughter behind his hand as Bryan groaned at the choice of movie for their night in. But what did he expect when it was Rowan choosing? The man loved Keanu Reeves.
“Come on, Ro. At least give us some variety, like The Matrix Revolutions or something.”
Rowan, one of their best friends, threw a cushion Bryan’s way and then gave him the finger. “Nothing beats the first one. Full stop.”
“There’s no point in arguing. You know that, Bry. So, why are you?” Gary said as he entered the living room carrying several bottles of beer.
Bryan exhaled, accepting a beer, and Lev rubbed his back, his mouth still twitching. “But once a month, Gary? Seriously. I know we pick our movie in turns, but surely there must be a rule that says we can’t watch the same movie every single month?”
Gary dropped onto the sofa beside his husband and kissed Rowan’s temple, Rowan’s eyes closing and his lips curving as he leaned into the action. When Gary moved back, Rowan smiled at him and took the beer he held out. Gary slid his free arm around Rowan’s back, snuggling them together, and Rowan pointed the remote at the TV.
“No rule at all,” Gary said with a grin.
Bryan muttered curses but settled back against the second sofa, pulling Lev into his body the same way Gary did with Rowan. With how Rowan had positioned the sofas when they’d furnished the house, Lev could still see them and the screen, and his gaze kept flitting to his best friends, watching the small interactions between them.
It was hard to explain what was going through his head. Rowan and Gary were polyamorous, and though they married one person, they brought a third into their relationship regularly. Sometimes, it lasted a few weeks. Sometimes, just one night, but they were happy with their dynamic, and he could see it. That happiness.
Lev was happy, too, and from what he experienced, so was Bryan. But Bryan was poly, too. And Lev wondered if he missed that aspect of a relationship, even though his husband had told him many times he didn’t need to have that. He told him every day he loved Lev, and Lev loved Bryan with everything in him. Sometimes, though, he dreamt about having more than one person to be with. To care for. To…love. He wanted to figure out whether these were his thoughts or whether he wanted to make Bryan happy because those were the questions his husband would ask him if Lev ever got the courage to broach the subject.
The other thing he needed to figure out was the way his body reacted when Rowan looked at him in a certain way. If he wasn’t deluding himself, he would say he had a crush on his best friend. And that wasn’t something to take lightly. Especially as they’d been friends for over six years without any of it having come up before. Well, it had come up, but only in jest.
Bryan pressed his lips to Lev’s head and whispered, “Everything okay?”
Lev rubbed his cheek against Bryan’s chest as he lifted his face to him. “Perfect.”
Bryan smiled and pecked him three times on the lips before returning his focus to the film. Despite his groans of disgust, Lev knew Bryan loved The Matrix films as much as Rowan did. Maybe not the same one all the time, but still.
Lev returned to the film as well, but it only lasted a few minutes before his gaze found Rowan again, and his eyes widened when they met Rowan’s gaze. The blue eyes stared at him, and Lev was transfixed for a few seconds, barely blinking. His heart picked up speed, and he licked his lips, swallowing hard. Rowan tilted his head and mouthed something that Lev completely missed, focused on his eyes as he had been. He frowned and focused on Rowan’s mouth.
“Okay?” he mouthed.
His heart skipped several beats as it tried to recover from the unexpected interaction, but he nodded and smiled, staring at the screen again and hoping he could keep his eyes away from them for more than a few minutes at a time.
They paused the movie when the doorbell rang with their takeaway delivery. As it was Rowan’s movie choice, it was Gary’s takeaway choice, and it was Indian that night. They all filed into the kitchen to grab their dishes.
“Who ordered the biryani?” Rowan asked, holding the dish and looking at Bryan and Lev. Bryan held his hand up, and Rowan handed it to him. “Which means the butter chicken is yours,” he said, handing Lev the carton. He winked. “Enjoy.”
Lev rubbed his nose and took the food. He couldn’t meet Rowan’s gaze again because his stomach was somersaulting. He focused on plating his food—he was the only one who put his food on a plate, the others choosing to keep the food in the cartons they were delivered in. He grabbed his lemonade and carried his food into the living room, settling on the floor at Bryan’s feet because he had no sense of balance when it came to keeping his food from sliding off his plate, especially if he was focused on something else. Meaning, any time he wasn’t eating at the table. And with his focus split between his thoughts, the film, the food and the conversation, he was sure he’d make a gigantic mess.
“Lev,” Gary said, kneeling beside him. “Lift.”
Lev frowned before he noticed the cushion in Gary’s hands, and he put his plate on the floor, his cheeks heating. He held out his hand for it, but Gary gestured for him to let him, so he lifted his butt, and Gary slid the cushion beneath him, patted his knee and returned to his seat. Lev picked his food back up again and stared at his plate as he ate. Gary’s gesture hadn’t been the first time he or Rowan had taken care of him, whether or not Bryan had been there, but it was the first time since Lev’s thoughts had veered in a different direction, and he wasn’t sure what to think.
Bryan squeezed his shoulder, making him nearly drop his plate because he hadn’t been expecting it, but he chuckled, hiding his fumble as best he could. They started the movie again, and Lev concentrated on watching, eating and trying not to think too much. He could do that when he didn’t have food to waste.
At one point, Bryan rose and took Lev’s empty plate, bringing another beer for each of them while the film finished. They’d taken a taxi to Rowan and Gary’s house, knowing they would be drinking, and Bryan ordered one to take them home, chatting while they waited. Lev, however, was curled up with his head on Bryan’s thigh, eyes closed, but enjoying the sound of conversation around him. He dozed, safe in the knowledge they would look after him, though he could still hear them occasionally.
“—he okay? He’s been quiet tonight,” he heard Rowan ask.
Bryan’s fingers slid through Lev’s hair, relaxing Lev further. “He’s got something on his mind, but he’s not telling yet. I have a feeling I know what it is, though.”
Lev tried to pull himself from sleep, but his eyelids were too heavy.
“Let us know if we can help with anything.”
“I will.”
That was all he heard until Bryan gently shook him awake. “The taxi’s here, sweetheart.”
Lev blinked, his eyes not wanting to stay open, but he managed. “I’m awake,” he mumbled and pushed himself upright. He yawned. “Sorry, I didn’t realise how tired I was.”
Rowan grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet, keeping hold of him until Lev’s legs held him. “You know we don’t mind.” He cupped Lev’s jaw. “Get some rest, yeah?”
Lev nodded, and Rowan smiled, kissing his cheek. Lev’s heart raced, but it was a gesture Rowan always did. Before Lev’s thoughts had changed, though, it had never caused a reaction from him.
“I will,” he replied.
Bryan slid his hand into Lev’s and guided him from the house and into the waiting taxi. He waved at Rowan and Gary as they stood on the doorstep, arms around each other. Snuggling into Bryan’s embrace in the backseat, he rested his head on his shoulder, but Bryan’s words caused him to tense.
“Have your feelings changed for one of them?”
He lifted his head, mouth flapping as he tried to find his words, but Bryan smiled and cupped his jaw. “Don’t worry, Lev. Relax. We’ll talk at home, but know one thing…” He waited for Lev to nod. “I love you. And I know you love me. Nothing is impossible, okay?”
Lev swallowed, and Bryan kissed him before pulling him close again, rubbing his hands against his back and arms, soothing him as only Bryan seemed to be able to do.
What if Bryan didn’t agree when he voiced his thoughts? What if he was upset?