Live Like Legends (LIVING LEGEND #3)

Chapter 5

I desperately tried to let every ounce of tension leave my body the minute I got outside. I’d slipped away from Nick and managed to escape to the balcony with no issues, but regardless of how many people were around, it was never enough. So many questions that I didn’t know the answers to. I understood that they were curious but, fuck, I’d never been so agitated in such a short amount of time. My fingers tightened around the railing as I closed my eyes, mentally counting to whatever number I could before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“It’s a little much in there.” Natalia gave me a small smile when I looked up at her.

“Isn’t it always?” I volleyed back, chuckling to myself.

Natalia turned around so that her back was against the railing. “Now that we are away from everyone else, would you like to tell me how you are really feeling?”

I pressed my lips together, mulling over my thoughts. I wanted to sound sure of myself with whatever I said, but that was proving harder than I imagined. “I guess I’m fine, but then again, I’m not. Does that make sense?”

She nodded, never keeping her eyes off me. “You did die and then came back to life, so I would think it odd if you didn’t feel something exactly like that.”

I nodded solemnly. “I think I just don’t understand what that means for me now. On the outside, I’m perfectly some version of my normal self, but on the inside…”

“Things are a little off?” She inquired, raising an eyebrow.

I scrunched my mouth to the side. “Actually, no. It’s not like that at all.” I raised both my eyebrows at her, hoping my point was clear as day.

Natalia twisted her body so she could lean one of her arms on the railing. Her eyes left my face and looked out over the trees and floral arrangements that were scattered around us. “Ah, so you feel like everything is much more balanced within yourself. The dark and the light.”

It wasn’t really a question; there was no inflection in her voice.

Instead of answering her, I followed her gaze, watching the wind take hold of the foliage that fell from various tree branches.

After a moment, the High Priestess spoke again. “I’m going to take a wild guess and say you haven’t told Nicholas about your internal balancing act?”

I rolled my eyes, taking a glance over my shoulder. I found my angel easily. Fuck, he was handsome. He was also an overprotective, grudge holding deflector, but I loved him. “I haven’t lied to him, okay. I am actually fine . I didn’t want to burden him with something he can’t fix or change. We both know he would try.” I caught myself smiling at that last part. Nick put his whole heart into everything he attempted, even when he knew it was a losing battle. There was a tiny part of him that thought there could be a chance. “Despite Ariel’s horrendous fucking attitude, this is kind of what I wanted.”

“You want to work for Ariel?” Natalia sounded appalled at my words.

I nearly choked. “No. Fuck, no, I don’t want to work for that piece of shit, but I wanted to figure this out. I wanted your help, and I wasn’t going to see you anytime soon otherwise. Without my dagger, it’s all just kind of swirling around inside of me, which is fine, but now there are two different kinds of powers. They are trying to find a way to connect but they can’t. Maybe I won’t let them, I don’t know.” I shook my head, feeling frustrated. “I can find a way around his threats and probably find a way out of his grasp, but I need this handled. You are the best, are you not?”

Natalia laughed and it was musical the way it settled into my ears. I’d missed it. “I’m no miracle worker, Dani. I’ve never tugged on the powers of angels, nor have I touched the power of the darkness, but I do have a place where we can experiment with both and hopefully get you into a position where you can use them both safely and confidently.”

I gave her the most genuine smile I could muster up and she awarded me with a look that told me she saw right through my efforts. I wanted to figure this out and I wanted to do it safely. The dark was all I’d ever known; I was safe there.

I could be safe in the light as well, couldn’t I?

I noticed Natalia chewing on her bottom lip and my eyebrows pulled inward. “What is it?”

“I know you don’t think he’ll understand, but Nicholas might be your biggest asset.”

I kicked at the stone flooring. “How do you mean?”

“You want to connect with your light? Maybe you should confide in someone that already understands their own completely. Consensually feed off of it, so that you get the hang of yours. Light calls to light and all that. I can only do so much, but you do have to want to get along with it, meld both powers together from within yourself. Just because they feel balanced doesn’t mean the execution will be as such.”

I wasn’t a damsel in distress, and I didn’t like the idea of not being able to help myself if needed. This feeling of confused helplessness was new for me, and I hated it. Lilith or Dimitri may not stay dormant forever and I wanted to be at my strongest if it ever came to a fight that needed me at my absolute best. Nick’s light was his own and I did feel comfort in his warmth and body. If he put all his efforts into me, using his light to help my own, well then what did that mean for him? Just because he was back in Heaven’s Gate didn’t mean that he couldn’t be weakened yet again by all the things he wasn’t saying…or doing. He might have forgiven himself for what happened with Jonah, but Nicholas Cassial, like his own father, had layers to him. Nick could lay some things to rest, while other things needed more time.

“I think he would understand just perfectly. I think he would listen and give me numerous amounts of advice and make some sort of ten-point plan on how to do things.” I was making a small joke, but damn it, if it actually wasn’t the truth. I let go of the railing and ran my hands through my curls, catching one of my fingers on a knot. “Nick has a ton on his plate. He has spent way too much fucking time making me the priority. I mean I love being waited on hand and foot, not to mention the daily orgasms were something to get used to, but he…”

“He should wait on you constantly. The guy did stab you to fucking death.” Elise sauntered over, standing next to Natalia with a cheeky smile.

“He did bring her back though.” Beetee lightly shoved Elise’s shoulder before joining our huddle. She gave me a tentative smile. We really did need to talk soon. Neither of us understood what being a hybrid meant and both of us had only ever known Purgatory.

Elise scoffed. “The guy got stupid lucky on that one. I am kind of impressed now though. He is way more than just a handsome angel with a sword up his ass. Now, he’s a handsome angel with a sword up his ass that just happens to have necromancy powers.”

“Those powers get heavily avoided, as do many things when it comes to Nicholas,” I admitted, taking a deep breath.

Natalia stepped away from the railing, her jewelry glittering in the sun. “Perhaps him spending some time here alongside Garrett will help with that. At least with his powers, even if he never uses them again.”

“Garrett’s been having a rough time, we both are, but I know my moms can handle themselves. His children and wife, they were in hiding for a reason, but now…” Beetee shook her head, her eyes a little on the verge of tears.

Elise stalked over and took her chin in her hand. “They’ll be okay, so stop. I’m not all worried about Axel because that fucking dog knows how to handle himself and he knows how to protect what needs protecting. For some reason, he loves those fucking kids and Leah, so when I say don’t fucking worry, I mean it.” She released the pink-haired demon’s chin prepared to walk away, but Beetee wrapped her arms around her, holding her in a tight hug.

“Thanks Ellie. I needed that.”

Elise stiffened, making a disgruntled noise before grasping Beetee’s wrists from around her back and shoving her off. “Yeah, okay. Don’t ever do that again.”

“Did Axel learn how to protect what needs protecting from his devoted dog mom?” I joked, poking her in the side.

Elise gave me a sour look. “Did Nicholas ever figure out his daddy issues?”

I narrowed my eyes at her, almost wanting to cease this conversation before he came out here and heard us. Beetee huffed. “Ellie, you can’t just say things like that.”

Elise scoffed. “Why the hell not? The man comes here like every other day. I’m allowed to be on the edge of my seat in this father, son shit show.”

I blinked over to Natalia. “Maurice comes here often?”

The High Priestess nodded. “He comes to see me or Zane. Sometimes he comes alone, sometimes he brings Daya or Alex.”

“As much as he loves Reese, he is a little disappointed when he doesn’t see Nick. He asks about him a lot, just wanting to know how he’s doing. He asks about you as well.” Beetee pointed out, nervously fiddling with one of her earrings.

My heart faltered a little knowing that Maurice Cassial wondered about my well-being. I assumed being in love with his son had something to do with that.

“I kind of feel bad for the guy and yes, I feel disgusting saying that.” Elise shook her shoulders as a shiver climbed up her spine.

“Maurice told me the entire story. I knew my mother and Nick’s were close, I mean she spoke about her sometimes, but I just didn’t… I had no idea that my mother was the one who…”

A deep voice came from the open doors, and I closed my eyes, internally knowing this was going to happen. Nick leaned against the threshold, looking down at the ground. “I don’t blame you, if that’s what you’re thinking. The minute he told me what your mother did, I didn’t blame you at all.” He pushed away from the door and walked over to us. He had his hands in his pockets, playing like he was nonchalant, but I knew he was tense and would rather not be having this conversation.

Natalia gave him an apologetic smile. “I know, I just wish that I would have known sooner, so that I could have made better sense of it all.”

Nick shrugged. “I wish my father would have told me sooner, so I guess we are both shit out of luck.”

Natalia opened her mouth and then promptly closed it, seemingly lost on what words she wanted to speak next.

The silence that followed was thick and I almost couldn’t breathe from the way it suffocated me. The fresh air wasn’t enough to thin it out. I cleared my throat, catching his attention. “Why don’t we start that training?”

Natalia rallied, her expression morphing from concerned to determined. “Of course, I’ll get Zane.” Beetee and Elise followed behind her, not before Elise started walking backwards and giving me an awkward smile. She pulled at the collar of shirt, silently saying well that was fucking awkward.

Nicholas placed his hand out for me to take it, his open palm looked as inviting as ever. “Let’s go.”

I took his hand, the warmth enveloping me like it always had. He kissed my knuckles before pulling me in the direction of everyone else. There was a tingly sensation in my body, almost like contentment. I also felt sadness there, my darkness mingling with the dark that still lived inside of him. As much as Nick didn’t want to admit it, his father was a piece of his light. Until he had that piece back, I wanted him to keep as much as he had to himself.

We traveled back downstairs, turning right as we got to the bottom of the large staircase. I wasn’t nearly as stunned as I thought I’d be when Zane opened another set of doors, where another set of stairs awaited us. The walls lit up the minute we descended towards the next floor, twinkling with each step we took.

The bottom was covered in multicolored stones, but they didn’t kick up dirt each time any of us moved. Despite moving further down into her home, the amount of effort to keep things clean was maintained wherever we went. I admired that kind of time and motivation. I could imagine that her bedroom had the same meticulous touches her entire home did.

“Right through here.” Zane opened two large wooden doors that had silver sparkles etched into the trimming. Beyond the doors lay a room that was double the size of any training room at The Skies. There were mirrors on either side, expanding the length of the walls. Towels hung on racks near the back and there were two benches that connected to the wall on either side of the door.

“Now this is a training room,” Reese said, spinning around so that he took it in.

“I didn’t know you trained. Like this kind of training,” I pointed out, looking over at the High Priestess.

She chuckled and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t. This is for Zane and the others that watch over me. I expanded it a bit more after my mother passed. Zane doesn’t ask for much, but he did want a larger space for his men and women to learn better skills and whatnot.” Natalia winked over at her bodyguard who simply huffed, but he looked like he wanted to smirk over at her.

Nick removed his sword from around his back, setting it against the wall. “So, where do we start?”

“Yes, witch, please tell us how you plan to fix this,” Elise deadpanned.

Beetee let out the loudest sigh of embarrassed annoyance, while Natalia only smiled. “I can’t fix anything, but I can attempt to help as I’ve said.” She faced me, gaining my attention. “You want to understand how to use both?”

I nodded.

“Good, well, first I think it’s best if you simply show me what you can do for now.”

I clenched and unclenched my fists. “We are all well aware of what I can do.”

Natalia placed her hand on my shoulder. “I know, Dani. All I’m asking is that I see it without any threats, without any distractions. I’ll be able to assess from there and decide where we take this.”

I opened my mouth to speak but she had already turned away and was walking over to Zane and Garrett. I had never been shy about my powers, nor had I ever not thrilled at the notion that had people watching me…perform, for a lack of a better word.

This felt different. It felt like a step in a monumental direction for me and there would be so many people by my side, but what if it amounted to nothing? I shook away the thought, knowing that if it festered, this place would be filled with smoke that would nearly suffocate all of them.

“Don’t think about holding back,” Elise said, as she leaned against the mirror near Beetee. Her gray eyes bore into my brown ones as if she could read my mind.

“I’m not. I mean I don’t?—”

Natalia cut me off. “She isn’t wrong. I promise you; I can handle whatever you unleash, just be yourself.”

That was a new one. Be myself. I was trying to, but it was hard when I had no clue who the fuck that was.

I closed my eyes, tilting my head from side to side. The darkness came so naturally. It flowed into my veins like an old friend, like an essence that embodied my entire being. I almost shivered with the way it threaded itself inside of me as if it wasn’t sharing me with something else. I opened my eyes, my surroundings looking muted. I felt the smoke revolving around my arms and fingertips. I looked down at my hand, a ball of black wispy smoke developing. It vibrated and grew bigger with every breath I took.

I saw the tail end of smoke wisps in my vision, the darkness starting to move all around me. There could be no room for the light, because this was what I was. I heard Zane’s voice.

“Your Highness, do you want me to…”

Natalia quickly stopped him. “No. Do nothing. She is okay.”

“But your Highness…” Zane’s voice was wary.

I heard the sound of footsteps behind me, but they didn’t sound too close. I felt an immediate pain in my back as a large source of power hit my back. I spun around to the remnants of teal light and Natalia standing a few feet away from me, another teal ball of light settled in her hand. She reared her hand back and thrust it at me. I blocked it with my own powers. The black smoke connected with the teal light, both powers fighting against each other until they were snuffed out in between us.

Natalia didn’t let up. She shot different colored magic at me, over and over. It was exhausting and I could feel myself getting more and more aggravated. The High Priestess would either take a few steps to one side or the other, but it was as if she had no care in the world how long this lasted.

“This can stop now, Natalia,” I said, my voice clearly over this.

“We could.” She shrugged. “We both know that you are holding back for my sake, and I don’t appreciate that one bit. Dagger or no dagger I think everyone here can agree that you aren’t this…. incapable .” She said that last word in a mocking tone, as if she was better than me.

“ Incapable? ” I repeated, the word rolling off my tongue with disgust.

“Oh, did I stutter?” Natalia snarked, teal and pink light traveled down her arms and enveloped her hands. It felt like she was getting ready for me to erupt, but I wanted to keep myself in check. I should want to do that, right?

Pink light flew by my face, hitting my hair. She brought her arm back and flung another colorful light ball in my direction. I grabbed hold of it, feeling it pulse in my grip and started to squeeze. The light flickered and then started to dim, darkening more and more until it molded itself with my own darkness. The smoke grew bigger and all I wanted to do was prove her wrong.

I allowed my shadows to travel away from me, barreling towards her. Large clumps of smoke following behind, her magic trapped within my own. Natalia barely moved before it all got inches before her, but then she held up both her hands and everything I threw out was encapsulated in some type of translucent bubble that sparked with colorful light. The High Priestess moved her hands, making a flinging motion so that the bubble holding the dark power was thrust towards the wall, exploding as if none of it ever happened.

I went to let out more, but she pointed a finger at me and my whole body felt as if it was being wrapped up with my wrists plastered to my sides. The magical rope she cinched around me pinched as it tightened each time I squirmed.

“Let me go,” I demanded.

“Free yourself.”

I tried to wiggle myself out, but nothing worked. The rope circled around my elbows, slowly. I let my shadows slither around the ropes, hoping to remove them. Natalia was in front of me, grasping the shadows and they whined as she snuffed them out.

“Not like that. Use the light before the rope gets too high, Soul Seether,” she hissed, nodding at me before taking a few steps back.

“Natalia, you aren’t going to just leave her to…” Reese started, but he let the sentence trail off when it seemed like no one was going to do anything until I at least tried.

The rope climbed up my biceps, snaking around my shoulders. I willed whatever light I had in my semi-panicked state. The shadows screamed at me to fix this, to help me. I batted them away in my mind and only pleaded for the light. That light that appeared so dim before was a tiny bit brighter and peered back at me like it was happy I was noticing it for the first time.

It tried to speak to me in a language I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t words. It was speaking with feelings and emotions that I’d never noticed. I could feel the warmth trying to seek me out and fill my insides, but the darkness was barking back at it, not wanting to share space within me. I needed a balance to make this work and neither power wanted to play nice.

The ropes touched my neck, threading around my throat.

I saw tiny light sparks flicker at the tips of my hair and at my fingertips, the idea of my imminent danger too much for it. I wanted to trust it, I wanted it to trust me as well, but it couldn’t be at its maximum power without my willingness to trust it fully and put the dark aside to give it room to grow.

The rope constricted around my throat, and I started coughing. I wanted Natalia to let me go, but I knew she wouldn’t. I tried again, reaching for the light I knew was there. I strived to push the dark back and make the light feel comfortable and wanted. I saw the light sparks again and they started to flourish just a tiny bit more. My vision was less muted now and it started to blur from my lack of oxygen. I started to teeter back and forth on my feet, trying to suck in air but to no avail.

Natalia’s magic touched my jaw and was just at my chin, a large shot of golden light struck me. Air filled my lungs instantly and I fell into a coughing fit when I landed on the ground. I looked around to see my raven-haired angel standing near me and his palm was bright, steadily going back to its normal color.

He heaved in breath after breath as if he had run a mile.

“Pretty boy can’t even follow directions. The point was to let her help herself.” Elise rolled her eyes.

Garrett came down to kneel beside me. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, knowing that my pride hurt more than anything physical ever could.

Reese and Beetee both started to walk up to Nick, but Natalia stopped them both. Nick came down to my level, tucking my hair behind my ear as I looked up at him. “I’m sorry, I just…you—” His brown eyes assessed me quickly and then they settled on my face. “I don’t like seeing you like that.”

I took his hand in mine, patting it softly. For Nick, it was about my safety, no matter how many friends surrounded us. My pride would recover. “I know.”