Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
Logan
The hospital staff decided to keep Clay overnight for observation, just in case. Jason had been allowed to stay with him since they were family, but I’d been booted to the lonely wastelands of a nearby hotel room the minute visiting hours were over.
I returned the next morning, coffee cup in hand and yawning from a poor night’s sleep. The hotel had been particularly cheap, and the bed was of such low quality that I may as well have slept on the floor. My eyes were gritty, and I still felt half asleep as I neared Clay’s hospital room, which is why I didn’t immediately recognize the sound of my own name until I was almost through the door.
I stopped just on the other side of the doorframe, listening to the conversation happening just a few feet away.
“No, I can’t,” Clay was saying. “That wouldn’t be fair to Logan.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood up.
What was he talking about?
His voice didn’t sound distressed, but he also didn’t seem happy.
Was there some problem in our relationship that I didn’t know about?
If that was the case, why wouldn’t he talk to me about it?
I couldn’t see what was happening inside the room, but I recognized Jason’s voice.
“I’m not saying you have to do anything right now, Clay, but just think about it. Do the two of you really want to be long-distance forever?”
It was a good thing I’d already finished most of my coffee, because the Styrofoam cup crumpled in my hands when I squeezed it.
Was he trying to convince Clay to break up with me?
I’d thought Jason and I were on the same page yesterday, but apparently, I’d been wrong. I had half a mind to storm into that room and demand answers, but a masochistic part of me was also curious about what Clay would say. If he agreed with his brother, that was something we needed to know now.
Heartbreak would be inevitable. I was already so in love with Clay that breaking up would devastate me, but if we ended it now maybe we could both walk away without too much damage.
Inside the room, Clay sighed.
“No, of course I don’t want to be long-distance. No one wants that. But I don’t see any other option right now. His life is there, and mine is here.”
“Is it?”
Even without seeing Clay, I could feel his confusion radiating out of the room. It mirrored my own. I also had no idea what Jason was talking about.
Someone inside the room shifted around loud enough for me to hear their fidgeting.
“Clay.” Jason said his brother’s name like it was a sentence all on its own. “Think about it. Is your life really here? You live here, yes. But that doesn’t mean your life is here. We’ve been talking recently about your future. Once you get your GED, then you can do anything. Get your own job. Go to college. Spend time traveling. Whatever you want. But none of that has to be here. My life is here, with Patrick. But your life could be anywhere. It could even be in Louisiana.”
My breath caught in my lungs when I realized what they were talking about.
Clay moving to Baton Rouge with me?
I’d be a liar if I said I never thought about it, but it had always seemed like a fantasy rather than reality. Clay wouldn’t want to leave his brother after finally settling down here.
Would he?
The frustrated groan that Clay let out was very familiar. It was the same sound he made whenever he was studying, and he couldn’t figure out the answer to a problem.
“Ugh. I don’t know. Baton Rouge is so far away. What would I even do there?”
“The same things you do here. I was the only person you knew when you came here, and you managed to carve out a decent life here. You can do the same thing over there.”
“But…” Clay’s voice started off strong, but in the course of only three letters, it died to a barely audible whisper. “I was only able to do that because you gave me a place to stay.”
“And I’m sure Logan would happily let you live with him as well. In fact, I’ll personally knock his teeth out if he doesn’t.”
Clay laughed, and the music of such a joyous sound distracted me from the topic of the conversation.
“Jason. Stop acting like you’re some dangerous street fighter. You’ve never thrown a punch in your life.”
“Never said I’d use my fist. A baseball bat would also work.”
Clay laughed again, quieter this time. The rollercoaster that my emotions had been subjected to over the last few minutes finally calmed down, and I realized I was still clutching the crumpled cup. The dregs of my coffee were dripping over my fingers and making a sticky mess, so I threw it in the trashcan and pulled out some tissues from my pocket to try and clean myself up.
All the while, I kept one ear attuned to the conversation happening inside the room.
“I’ve been saving everything I can from my paychecks,” Clay admitted. “You’re paying me more than I deserve, so I might be able to afford a few months of rent, but what if I’m not able to find a job there?”
“Is that what you’re concerned about?” Jason asked, sounding just as incredulous as I felt. “Clay, maybe I’m wrong, but I get the feeling Logan would gladly let you live without him without asking for rent.”
I couldn’t stay out of the conversation any longer and poked my head around the door.
“You’re absolutely right.”
Both men jumped in surprise. Jason just rolled his eyes when he realized I’d been listening in, but Clay’s face grew crimson from embarrassment.
“Logan. How long have you been there?”
“Long enough.” I reclaimed the same seat I’d been sitting in yesterday and grabbed Clay’s hand. “Your brother is right. If you came to Baton Rouge, I absolutely would not demand rent payment from you. Or any other expense, for that matter. You should only focus on figuring out what it is you want to do. Let me worry about the money.”
Clay shoved my shoulder but didn’t actually put any distance between us. “No. I am not taking advantage of you like that. I’ll pay my own way.” He seemed to realize that he was already talking about moving to Baton Rouge like it was a done decision, and immediately clammed up. “I, uh, I mean. If I do move in with you. Maybe. I don’t know what I’m doing yet.”
Jason and I shared a look over Clay’s head. We were both thinking the same thing. If Clay was already imagining what life in Baton Rouge would be like, then it was inevitable. We may as well start packing now.
“Okay,” I relented and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Once you know what you want to do in the future, let me know. My door is always open for you.”
The conversation turned toward other, less emotional topics, but in the back of my mind I was already making plans. There wasn’t enough space in my apartment for two people. I’d chosen the apartment because of its proximity to my work, but I wouldn’t mind a slightly longer commute if it meant Clay could be more comfortable.
Would Clay want to be near the University?
He was trying to get his GED, so maybe he’d want to continue his education.
Or maybe he’d want to be closer to places he could volunteer, like halfway houses and children’s shelters. He enjoyed his volunteer work here in Maryland and would probably want to continue with it.
While Clay was distracted talking with his brother about something, I discreetly pulled up apartment listings on my phone. It was too early to actually move anywhere, but there was no harm in making plans for the future.
Our future.
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face just thinking about it.