Long Hard Road (Crestwood Valley)

15. Nate

Madison had a lot of questions about Gran. I explained that she was my mom’s mom and that she’d been living alone since my grandfather died about five years ago. We’d tried to move her out to the ranch, but she had refused. She wanted to stay close to her friends and it would be hard for her to get out much if she was living on the ranch.

“We’ll drop our stuff off and then we need to get to the bar. I think it might be best if you hang out in the office tonight.”

“No way, Nate. I am not going to hide. The stalker isn’t going to do anything in front of everyone.” She turned to me with a breathtaking smile. “Besides, I’m too pretty to hide away. Think of all those tips we made last night.”

“Yeah, that low-cut shirt might’ve had something to do with that.”

“Hey! I am a damn good bartender. Those tips were because I make a mean martini.”

“If you say so.” It felt so natural to reach across the seat and take her hand. “Let’s put you in one of my flannels tonight and see what happens to the tips.”

“Fine, but it has to be the flannel you are wearing right now.”

I glanced down. “Why? Is it a slutty flannel?”

“No.” She laughed and squeezed my hand. “Because it will smell like you.”

“And that’s a good thing?” I asked doubtfully.

“It is to me.” She took her other hand and started stroking her fingers over the back of my hand. My dick started to harden instantly. When I shifted in my seat, Madison looked down and giggled. “Need some help with that?”

“Not unless you want me to drive us into a ditch.” There was no way I’d be keeping any awareness if she put her hand on me like that. “Let’s save it for the sofa, okay?”

“Tonight,” she whispered. “Please?”

“Angel, you don’t need to beg. We’re definitely spending some time on that sofa tonight.” I brought her hand up to my mouth and pressed my lips to the back of it. “But I’ve already got plans for us tonight.”

“Tell me.”

I shook my head. “You have to be patient, Madison.”

“Waiting twenty-four years isn’t patient enough?”

“You’ve waited that long, you can wait a few more hours,” I said with a laugh. “We don’t have to start working on those great-grand-babies right this second.”

“We probably should’ve made it clearer to your grandma that we’re not together like that. I feel like I lied to her by not correcting her assumptions.”

Part of me knew that Madison was right. We’d let my grandma believe that things between us were serious. That she might have a reason to hope for us to have kids. But it was so easy to pretend with Madison. Pretend that we’d known each other for weeks, maybe even months. Pretend that she was my girl and we had a future together. Pretend that she wasn’t going to leave me in a month. Pretend that she was mine.

Those thoughts had a chilling effect. I had felt like this only one other time in my life and I had sworn I would never open my heart like that again. I would never again make a wish that depended on someone else wishing for the same thing.

Ellison was just finishing up putting alarm triggers on the windows when we got back. After some debate, he finally agreed that Madison would come with me to the bar. He needed to go back to the hotel to handle some stuff for other clients and the security team he was assigning to her hadn’t arrived in Crestwood yet. I promised to keep Madison close until morning and to make sure he was notified immediately if we received another threat.

The bar was even busier tonight. I barely had time to ring up the orders let alone worry about those pesky feelings I was having for Madison.

“I’m not sure why we couldn’t have the pretty bartender deliver our beers,” Ronan grumbled at me. He and Chase had been sitting at the bar for the last hour, watching Madison glide around serving drinks. They were just as fascinated by her as the rest of the male patrons.

“Are you saying I’m not pretty?” I asked in mock offense.

“I’m saying your ass has never looked that good in a pair of jeans.” Ronan nodded toward Madison. “What the hell is a girl like that doing with a guy like you?”

“She’s not with me.” I poured some whiskey into a glass and gulped it down.

Chase nodded toward the end of the bar. “In that case, you won’t care that Macalister has been eyeing her all night.”

“He’s allowed to look,” I said, jaw clenched. “But if he touches her, he’s dead.”

Madison looked over and caught my angry stare. She smiled uncertainly, wondering if she’d done something to deserve that glare. I forced a smile and a wink. She blushed and turned away.

“Oh yeah. She’s not with you.” Ronan rolled his eyes. “You’re not kidding anyone, Sullivan. When is she moving in with you?”

“Just shut up and drink your beer.” I didn’t need even more people plotting my future with Madison when it was unlikely we would have one.

On Friday nights, a band played in the back room and people split their time dancing and drinking. When a particularly popular song played, people would head toward the dance floor and we’d get a bit of reprieve from serving drinks. Madison used those breaks to clear empties away from the tables and I used those breaks to watch her.

On one pass through the room, a man stepped in front of her. She smiled politely and tried to dodge him, but he slid another step in front of her.

“What are you glaring at?” Chase turned to see and grunted. “Well fuck. Ronan, our boy is about to get arrested.”

“For what?” he asked.

“For killing Jimmy Macalister.”

I ignored them and started around the bar, keeping my eyes on Madison. Whatever Jimmy had said to her had her shaking her head and taking a step back. He followed with a step toward her and grabbed her arm. Madison turned abruptly and tried to yank her arm free. Jimmy spun her back toward his body and slapped a hand on her ass.

“You fucking son of a bitch.” I yanked Madison away from him and charged forward, pushing him several feet back and into the wall so hard that the window shook. My forearm pressed into his throat hard enough that he let out a strangling sound. “You don’t touch her. Ever. You don’t even look at her. If I see you even breathe in her direction, I will cut your fucking balls off and shove them down your throat.”

Everything in the bar was gone in a flash. My vision had gone dark around the edges and my head felt like it had been plunged underwater. The only awareness I had was that the man before me had violated Madison and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

“Nate.” Madison tugged on my arm.

“Get back behind the bar, angel. I will handle this.” I threw up a hand to block Jimmy’s pathetic attempt at a punch. “Are you really that fucking stupid, Jimmy? I spent years killing men bigger and meaner than you and you’re going to start a drunk fight with me?”

Jimmy tried to speak but my forearm was still pressed to his windpipe. A heavier hand came down on my shoulder. “Leave it, Nate.” Ronan’s voice was low and urgent. “You’ve already freaked out Madison. Don’t make it worse.”

That got my attention. I hadn’t been thinking about how she might respond to my sudden aggression. I usually did a good job controlling my anger. It had taken me a while and a lot of therapy to work through my trauma from my army days. Though the anger never went away completely, I could usually keep it pushed down. I hadn’t had an episode like this since Fiona had ripped out my heart.

“Fuck.” I shoved away from Jimmy. “Get the hell out of my bar.”

“They said you went crazy after your deployments, but you’re fucking insane, Sullivan.” Jimmy rubbed a hand over his throat.

“Macalister, leave right now or Nate will be the least of your concerns.” Ronan had a lethally calm expression on his face that was almost more frightening than the rage I knew simmered beneath it. He hated Jimmy Macalister more than any of us.

Jimmy wisely knew he’d never stand a chance against the two of us and stumbled out of the bar. I turned to find Madison. “Where is she?”

“She ran back that way,” Chase said, pointing toward the office. “Go find her. I can help Rhys man the bar.”

“Thanks.” I pushed my way through the crowd until I reached the narrow hallway that led to the office. It was cracked open and I heard a sniffle inside. “Madison?”

“Yeah.” She let out another sniffle as I pushed open the door. Her back was facing me and in the darkness I could only make out her silhouette. “I’m fine, Nate.”

“I always cry when I’m fine.”

Madison laughed and that was all the encouragement I needed to step behind her and slide an arm around her waist. My other arm wrapped around her chest and I pulled her tight against me. “Did I scare you, angel?”

“A little bit.”

“I’m sorry.” I dropped my face into the curve of her neck and breathed in deep. “I have a bit of a history with Jimmy Macalister. Seeing him touch you like that triggered me.”

“Have you really killed people?”

I forgot that I’d let that slip during my tirade. It wasn’t something I would ever admit when I was in control of myself. But Madison deserved the truth. “Yes.”

“How many?” Her voice was so quiet it wasn’t even a whisper, it was more like a breath.

“I don’t know. I didn’t count. It was war, Madison. It was kill or be killed.”

“But you chose to enlist.”

“I did.” I pressed my lips to the spot just below her ear. “I’m not proud of everything I’ve done, but I didn’t join the military because I wanted to shoot people. I enlisted to serve my country and be a part of something bigger than myself. I wanted to have a purpose and do good in the world. For the most part, that’s what I did. I’m not ashamed of my service.”

“You shouldn’t be. I’m not judging you or shaming you, Nate. I just want to know more about that time in your life so I can understand you better. Maybe understand how you went from being the kind man who treats me sweetly to the guy slamming someone against a wall and threatening to cut off his balls.” She brought her hands up to my forearm. “It didn’t seem like you even knew I was there.”

“I didn’t at first. But I felt it when you touched me, Madison. Your voice brought me back.” I touched my lips to her earlobe and her whole body shivered. “You don’t have to be scared of me. I’ve never lost control and hurt someone and I would absolutely never, ever hurt you.”

“We can’t be back here. Rhys can’t handle everything by himself.” She squirmed to get away but I kept my arms tight around her.

“Madison, I need to know that you heard what I just said. Even if you don’t believe it yet, I need to know that you heard me when I said that I will never hurt you.”

“I heard you.” Her fingers pressed harder into my forearm. “I’m not afraid of you hurting me, Nate. Not physically anyway.”

It hurt to hear her admit that she thought I would hurt her in any way, but I understood. I felt the same way about her. After our third day together, I knew that there was something special between us. Something that, given the right circumstances, could be incredible. But we both knew she would be leaving Crestwood in a few weeks and the closer we got now, the harder it was going to be to say goodbye.

“I’m going to head back out there. Take more time if you need it.” I refrained from kissing her cheek and reluctantly loosened my arms. She was quick to step away from me, another thing that hurt.

“I’ll come with you,” she said, not meeting my eyes.

Chase was living his best life behind the bar, pouring liquor into a glass with dramatic flair. Rhys let out a relieved breath when I stepped behind the bar. “He broke three glasses while you were gone.”

“I’ll handle it.” It was nice to focus on something familiar– my brother acting like an idiot. That was something I knew how to handle, unlike the persistent tugging in my chest every time I looked at Madison.

The rest of the night passed uneventfully. Madison stayed behind the bar and Rhys handled all the cleanup of the tables. I was glad to know she wouldn’t be manhandled by any more drunk men, but being confined to such a small space with her was akin to torture. A completely enjoyable, erotic torture.

Chase and Ronan stuck around after last call to help us close up the bar. Madison laughed at Chase’s pathetic attempt at sweeping the floor and Ronan caught me watching them.

“You’ve got some drool, man,” he said, throwing a rag at me.

“Shut up.” I snatched the rag and used it to wipe the table in front of me.

“I like her.” He nodded across the bar. “Madison. She’s funny. Sweet. Doesn’t get easily offended by Chase’s ridiculousness.”

“She’s a great girl,” I agreed as casually as possible.

We both watched as Madison bent over to pick up a beer bottle that had rolled under one of the tables. She got on her knees and ducked low, sticking her ass straight at us. It was a perfect ass. When she reached the bottle, she let out a happy little yelp and held it up triumphantly as she turned to smile at us. The desire pooling low in my stomach dropped straight to my dick.

“Damn.” Ronan scoffed and shook his head. “Good luck, man. The way you are looking at her… you are so fucked.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I am.”