Long Hard Road (Crestwood Valley)

16. Madison

“Ithink you’ll really like this one.” Harper handed over a thick hardback. “I love this author.”

I checked the cover and smiled. “I do, too. Rylie Parker is fantastic. I didn’t know she had a new book released.”

“It’s not available everywhere yet. Rylie is from Crestwood. She sends me a bunch of copies of her books before they are available everywhere. They are signed, too.”

“That’s awesome.” I had no idea that one of my favorite mystery writers was from Crestwood. “I already finished my first book haul, so I’ve been desperate for some new reads. What else do you have?”

“You finished all those books already?” Harper let out an impressed whistle. “I thought Nate was keeping you busy.”

“He’s been busy with some stuff the last few days.”

It had been over a week since our mini make-out session on my sofa. Something had changed between us the night at the bar when Nate had lost his cool and attacked the jerk who slapped my ass. When we got back to my cabin, he’d told me goodnight and then went to the guest room to sleep.

I would be lying if I said that hadn’t stung. A lot. But it hurt even more when he took off the next morning after Ellison arrived with a team of bodyguards. Once Nate learned that I would have someone with me anytime I left the cabin and another guard staying behind to watch the place until I got home, he’d suddenly become very busy doing anything but spending time with me.

I still went to the bar on the nights it was open. Nate would take a short break and bring me a drink. We’d chat for about twenty minutes and then he’d go back to work and I would watch him for another hour or so before going home, bodyguard in tow.

“Hey, do you have dinner plans tonight?” Harper asked, stacking three more books on the counter in front of me. “My family always does a Sunday night dinner. Anyone who is free goes to the main house and Dad whips up something good for us. I know he would love if you came.”

“Family dinner? Harper, I’m not family.”

She laughed. “Not yet. If my brother pulls his head out of his ass, you will be soon enough.”

“Nate and I are just friends. Barely friends. More like neighbors who hung out a couple of times.” I didn’t want to admit to Nate’s sister that I was heartbroken by how quickly he’d changed his mind about me.

“Have you kissed?” she prodded.

My blush was the only answer she needed. “It was a mistake,” I hurried to say. “If you ask Nate, I’m sure he will agree.”

“Oh, Madi. The only mistake you made was believing that my brother wouldn’t fall madly in love with you after one kiss.” She leaned over the counter. “Look, I’m going to tell you something that I’m not supposed to know. About four or five years ago, Nate started dating a woman out in North Carolina. He was gone a lot for deployments, but they were together for a couple of years. I don’t know much about the relationship. He never brought her to meet the family, but I think it was serious.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear this story. I didn’t want to picture Nate with another woman and certainly not one that he’d loved. Was he still in love with her? Is that why he’d been keeping me at arm’s length?

“Around the time Nate left the army, something happened between them and he ended the relationship. He spent some time in D.C. with our brother Brent while he recovered and then he moved back here when Dad had his stroke. I haven’t seen him with another woman since. My guess is that his feelings for you have scared him. He’s probably afraid he’s going to get his heart broken again when you leave town.”

“Why won’t he just talk to me about how he is feeling? He didn’t have to push me away so abruptly.” If he had told me this story himself, I would’ve understood.

“He keeps a lot of stuff bottled up. Nate isn’t as open as Chase or even my brother Evan. He doesn’t want his loved ones to worry about him.” She reached over and squeezed my arm. “Come to dinner tonight. As my friend. I will even pick you up so we can arrive together.”

“It’s going to look like I’m stalking Nate,” I protested.

She scoffed and waved away my concern. “Bullshit. I want you there. Chase and Ronan want you there. Lily has been begging me to invite you. If Nate has a problem with it, then he can leave.”

“I will go,” I said, then held up a hand to stop her celebration, “but only if you run it past Nate first. Make sure it won’t be a problem for him.”

“Fine.” She snatched her phone from the counter and started furiously typing. Her phone made a whooshing noise as she sent the text.

While we waited for a reply, she rang up my book purchase and told me about a book signing she was organizing for the following weekend. When her phone chimed, I held my breath as she read Nate’s reply. A huge smile spread across her pretty face.

“He said that he’s glad I invited you and asked if I could give you a ride there since he’s already on the ranch. But he promised to give you a ride home.” She waggled her eyebrows at me. “And maybe another ride after you’re home.”

“Nate has been very clear that there will be no riding,” I said with a laugh. Harper was quickly becoming my favorite Sullivan.

She shrugged. “I have plenty of other single brothers. Personally, I don’t care which one you date. My little brother is a professional baseball player if you are looking for someone famous.”

“I can assure you that I’m not.” After those few days with Nate, I had my heart set on a normal life with a man who didn’t care at all about my money and fame. I had my heart set on Nate.

I left the store with a big bag of books and Harper’s promise to pick me up at 5:00. Since I would have a bodyguard tailing me, I arranged for him to drive separately and he would park his car just inside the entrance to the ranch property while I had dinner. I didn’t want all of Nate’s family to find out my identity if I showed up with a serious-looking, beefy man following my every step.

It wasn’t likely I would need security while I was surrounded by all of the Sullivan men anyway, but the bodyguards were under strict orders from Ellison not to let me go anywhere without one of them nearby. That approach seemed to be working because I hadn’t received a single threat since they had arrived.

We were the last ones to arrive for dinner. Harper explained that Evan, Lily, Chase, and Ronan all lived on the ranch property. Nate would be living there soon once his house was complete. Harper was the only local Sullivan child who was refusing to settle down on the ranch.

“It just feels very final, ya know? If I build a house out here, it’s going to be my forever home. I’m not ready for that yet. I want to focus on my business for a while. Travel. Check off things from my bucket list before I get married and start a family.” She smiled as she drove under the wooden archway. “But I do love this ranch.”

“It’s beautiful.” I was excited to finally see the other side of the ranch. “Do all of your brothers work out here?”

“Mostly Evan and Nate work on this ranch. The others will help out as needed, but Chase’s focus is the guest ranch. Ronan is actually the head of Search and Rescue for the county, so that keeps him busy. He helps out on evenings and weekends with whatever the guys need. Or he’ll help with projects around the bookstore.” Harper’s expression had become more tender when she talked about Ronan. “He has felt like part of our family since the day he came to live with us, but I think he still tries to prove that he belongs.”

All that Nate had told me about Ronan was that his family had suffered a tragedy and he had been taken in by the Sullivans. It sounded like there was an important story there, but I didn’t feel like I had the right to ask for the details.

“I like Ronan. He seems like a great guy. He’s hot, too.” I smiled when Harper’s cheeks flushed. “You’ve never thought about dating him?”

“He’s like a brother,” she protested quickly. Too quickly. “I had a crush on him years ago, but it was always one-sided. I’m just an annoying little sister to him.”

“I doubt that.” In fact, Ronan would have to be the dumbest man alive to not be charmed by Harper’s beauty and charisma. She had won me over instantly and I wasn’t even attracted to women.

“Do you mind if I drive down to the stables first? I want to check on my horse.” Harper steered the car through a large dirt lot that fronted a gorgeous mountain home. “That’s Dad’s place. We call it the main house. That’s where we all grew up and now it’s kind of the homestead.” She headed left down a dirt road. “Evan and Lily live straight ahead, but we’ll be turning off this road before we reach their house.”

The ranch was beautiful. Rolling hills seemed to stretch on forever all around us, broken up by meadows and pastures. I saw cattle in the distance and mountains well beyond them. Their white tops glistened under the fading sunlight.

“This land is incredible,” I breathed.

“If you think this is nice, you need to see it in the summer and fall. Everything becomes so lush and colorful. It’s like a Bob Ross painting come to life.” Harper had the same gleam in her eyes that Nate did whenever we discussed the ranch.

“We’re expecting a handful of foals any day now. One was born a few days ago.” She hopped out of the truck and I was joining her when the sound of hoofbeats and loud male laughter washed over us.

“Oh. Looks like the guys decided to go for a ride before dinner.” She waved happily over my shoulder.

Within a second of turning to see four beautiful men perched atop their horses, I nearly had my first orgasm. “Damn,” I breathed, deciding that cowboys were the cure for any affliction. Especially the one on the far right who was wearing a black baseball hat rather than the standard cowboy hat.

“Ladies!” Chase pulled ahead of the other men and brought his horse to a stop just a few feet away from us. “Will you please tell these assholes that my new boots are both stylish and masculine?” He slid one from its stirrup and held it out for us to see.

The leather was a flawless blend of cognac around the foot and a deep brown up the ankle. It had a round toe and sturdy heel. But where the other men’s boots were all plain with minimal decorative stitching, these boots were a whirl of intricate designs.

“Those are sexy boots,” I determined with a nod of my head.

“I can’t use that word in relation to my brother,” Harper said. “But… they look good.”

Chase jumped out of his saddle and landed with a flourish. “Ha! I told you. Ladies appreciate a man with flair.”

Nate brought his horse closer to me before dismounting, landing with a hard thud just a couple of feet away. “Is that true, angel? You like a man with flair?”

No, I liked this man. In his faded jeans, worn boots, and suede coat without a hint of flair, he was the best-dressed man I’d ever seen. I managed a shrug without speaking and his eyes narrowed slightly.

“I need to put Cooper away. Wait for me and we’ll walk back to the house together?” he asked hopefully.

“Okay.” My reply was barely even a sound but it was enough for Nate to give me one of those smiles that I loved.

“Be right back.”

He led the way into the stables with the other men following more slowly. Harper followed them to check on her horse, but I hung back and headed to the fence to see the horses in the pasture. The snow from last week had already melted and it was about ten degrees warmer than usual for this time of year in the valley. At least that’s what everyone had been saying at Amelia’s this morning.

“Hey.” Nate leaned on the fence next to me.

“Are you ready?” I hadn’t expected him to be back so quickly.

“Harper is taking care of Cooper for me. She thought you might be cold waiting around for me.” He touched the tip of my nose. “You are looking a little cold.”

“I’m fine.” At least, I had been fine until his skin had touched mine. I certainly wasn’t cold now with my entire body flushing with heat. “How have you been? We didn’t get to talk much the last couple of nights.”

The Nest was busiest on the weekends and since I wasn’t helping Nate behind the bar anymore, we’d been limited to just a couple of quick chats. That wasn’t enough for me. I missed talking to him.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been busy. Chase needed some help with a couple of the new cabins we’re building on the guest ranch.” He nudged me with his arm. “Did you miss me, Madison?”

“Yes, I did.” There was no reason to lie. I liked Nate. He knew that I liked him. Apparently, most of his family knew that I liked him. “Can I ask you something?”

He turned around so his back rested against the fence and he could look at my face. “You can ask me anything.”

“Did I…” I took a deep breath and started over. “Did I do something to scare you away? You’ve been distant since that moment we had in the office at the bar.”

“You didn’t do anything.” His response was quick and firm. “I wanted to give you some space. You came to Crestwood to get away from craziness and it felt like being around me was making your life more complicated.”

“I call bullshit.” I may not have known Nate well, but it was obvious he wasn’t being truthful. “I thought you were enjoying spending time with me, Nate. What really happened?”

He looked down as he dug the heel of his boot into the dirt. “Things were getting serious fast, Madison. You told me that you don’t have much experience with men and relationships. I didn’t want to rush things and have you do anything you might regret. We don’t have a lot of time to take things slow and going too fast could end up hurting both of us.”

“Don’t you think I should get some say in what I do or don’t do?” I wanted to be mad at him but his thought process was actually really sweet.

“You’re under my skin, Madison.” He said, gray eyes finding mine. “I haven’t let anyone get under my skin in a long time. I’m not sure how we go forward knowing that this is going to end in just a couple of weeks.”

“How about we don’t worry about the ending? Let’s just enjoy our time together and do whatever feels right in the moment.” It was my turn to look at the ground. “I think that if I don’t get these next couple of weeks with you, I’ll always look back and wonder what could have been. I’ll regret not having those days and nights with you.”

“Well, shit. When you put it that way…” He nudged his fist under my chin to get me to look at him. “I want those days and nights with you, angel.”

“Are you sure?”

He pulled me against his chest and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I’m positive. I like having you under my skin.”

“I think you’ll like even more having me on your skin.” I kissed the underside of his jaw and then trailed my lips over to his ear. “I want to put my lips on every inch of your skin.”

“Fuck. Now I’m going to walk into family dinner with a hard-on.” He nipped at my earlobe. “You’re fighting dirty, angel.”

“Come on. Let’s walk it off.” I stepped back while taking his hand. “After dinner, you can have dessert back at the cabin.”

He tugged me back to his side as we walked back to the dirt road. “I’ll make sure I’m prepared to feast, babe.”