Love Me Gently (Deer Creek #1)

Three

Trina

Now

* * *

“This was my fault.”

Valerie, the only friend I was allowed to spend any true social time with, had her lips pressed together. Proverbial steam billowed from her ears as her minty green eyes narrowed on my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, and you know it. It was Jonathan being Jonathan.”

I’d long since given up making excuses for him. A few years ago, when Valerie had shown up after one of our worst nights and I was icing my cheek on the couch, dried blood on my lips, and ribs so bruised I could barely walk, I hadn’t bothered trying to come up with an excuse. She plied me with wine until the dam inside me broke, and I spilled all the horrid secrets I’d held on to for so long.

She would have seen right through it anyway. To this day, I was certain she knew the kind of man Jonathan was from the moment we met, and it was the only reason why she stayed friends with me. Valerie Sutton was desperate to save me, even while she was helpless to do so.

We both were.

“We were late. All because I wanted that vase.”

All true. I’d been allowed to shop yesterday. I was supposed to be home at four in order to have time to prepare myself for Jonathan, make us dinner, and have his bourbon ready for him when he arrived home. Instead, we’d wandered into an art gallery and had gotten lost among the vases and ceramics, all gorgeous, all from a local artist. I’d been an hour late getting home.

While I’d been changed and ready for him and had his drink ready, he’d been displeased he had to wait for his meal.

He took the wait out on my face.

But it didn’t matter what the reason or excuse was, he would have found me lacking in some way. Always did when the mood struck him to strike me. Eight years together, closing in on nine, and I could never figure out what the trigger was, or how to stop it. I just knew I couldn’t leave.

I’d never been dumb enough to try.

There was nowhere for me to go where his reach wouldn’t find me and drag me back.

Besides, where would I go? I no longer had a family, not one who’d want to see me after the way I treated them. Valerie was the only person I knew and since her husband and mine were co-managers of the Georgia Gators football team, they could only do so much.

Kip had tried to talk to Jonathan once. I ended up in the hospital and then an extended Spa Stay in Greece until I fully healed.

Lesson learned for everyone. Our business was ours and I was to keep my mouth shut.

“The vase is gorgeous,”

I told Valerie. She was sweet as pie, southern born and raised in Augusta, Georgia and while we all now lived in Atlanta, I’d met her when I was still in New York.

We claimed our accents cemented us as friends. Regardless of the reason, I was thankful for her.

“Come on. I’m only allowed a couple of hours, and I need a new concealer at Sephora.”

“We could stay in and have it delivered.”

Her eyes dropped again to my scrape.

Usually if there was any evidence of his treatment of me, I’d be locked up. I wasn’t lucky he was allowing me out. I’d earned it.

Both before and after his shower this morning. Neither had given me time to prepare myself, so while I was thankful I could get out of my jail, the pain I felt with every step I took made Jonathan, and any further punishments, a very vivid reminder.

“No. Please. I need this.”

I blinked rapidly, forcing away my tears. It was a miracle I had any left, any ability to feel anything anymore. “I can’t be here today. I need to get out and breathe.”

“The fresh Atlanta air?”

Her brows arched. Her sass was clear. She could always make me smile.

“Exactly.”

I chuckled and grabbed my purse. “Let’s go before he thinks you were here too long.”

“Right.”

She scanned the rooms, but she wouldn’t see the cameras.

I couldn’t see them either, but I knew Jonathan received alerts every time I opened and closed the front door. Every time someone was in the house.

At first it’d made me feel protected.

At first, a lot of things had felt good.

Those days were long gone.

“Shopping and lunch,”

Valerie said, and looped her arm through mine. “And we’ll pray that someone, someday soon, comes along and chops off Jonathan’s favorite body part, shoves it down his throat, and he chokes to death on it.”

I gagged. “Gross, Val.”

“I wasn’t born and raised a sweet Southern Baptist,”

she teased. “I’m allowed to be.”

Fat lot of good that upbringing did me now.

Till death do we part…

I’d never thought the vow would be a bad thing… but that was before… back when I was na?ve to the true horrors of the world.

“You look beautiful.”

I stood tall and lithe on heels, in my silk nightgown and robe Jonathan insisted I wear when he was home. At one time in my life, I’d been called a doll.

Now I was forced to dress and behave like one.

“Thank you. How was your day?”

“Better than yesterday. You were home early.”

“I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for you.”

I plastered on a smile and handed Jonathan his drink. The table was set, the salad and sides ready. The roast was cooling on the stove.

Jonathan sipped his bourbon, thumb playing with his wedding band that had left me cut last night. I was certain I saw an excited gleam in his eye as he caught sight of the mark.

Normally my bruises made him more disappointed in me. He hated having to discipline me that way.

Sometimes, like tonight, he enjoyed them. He’d press them, hurt me further, and kiss them like they were his trophies.

The trophy he currently watched with eagle-precision eyes was tarnished and broken and nothing but dirt and bile on the inside. Jonathan and the rest of creation only saw my outer shell.

“Aren’t you going to give me my kiss?” he asked.

“Of course. I’ve missed you.”

I closed the space between us, heels clicking on gleaming wood floors, and pressed my lips to him. He tasted of darkness and alcohol, and as his hand rested at my hip, I forced myself to relax into him. “I’ve been looking forward to kissing you all day. You know how much I love you.”

“Beautiful,”

he murmured against my tongue. “You’ve always been so beautiful and exquisite when you’re like this. You’ll try harder, won’t you?”

His lips slammed to mine and his tongue dove into my mouth, I took the kiss like I took everything else. Pliantly. Regretfully.

“I’ll try,”

I whispered when he pulled back. “Of course I’ll try to do better. I only want to please you.”

I smiled up at him and hoped he believed it.

“Very well.”

His fingers dug into my hips before he pushed me back. “Let’s eat then and see what the night brings.”

I already knew what the night would bring, but thankfully, this time I was prepared.

And when the darkness pulled me under later, I barely felt the pain.

Only the sheer regret of what had led me down this path in the first place.