21. Harper
21
HARPER
W e’ve spent the day touring the island with Nate. It’s stunning. Nothing but turquoise ocean and white sandy beaches, it’s flat with a mountain ridge running through the middle, splitting the island into two. Which would work perfectly for the resort. Nate and Sam then argued over whether they should invest in an island or a second superyacht.
We are now at the hotel freshening up before heading to dinner, and of course, Sam has now changed the reservation and put Kimberly in Felix’s old single room instead of her sharing with me and put Felix in with me because he thinks we are really dating. I feel so bad because he is literally over the moon happy for us. I don’t understand. He’s never been like this before.
Felix walks out of the bathroom in just a towel slung low on his hips, showing off his cut abs and the deep V as he tenses while drying his hair. “Bathroom’s free,” he says, catching me ogling him. “Unless …” He grins and starts to loosen the towel.
“Nooo,” I shout quickly covering my eyes, which makes him laugh.
“It’s just the way you were looking at me I thought you’d changed your mind about the whole no touching in private thing.”
“This,” I say, waving between us, “is you helping a friend feel safe. Nothing more.”
“Right. Bodyguard duty,” he says, rolling his eyes.
“Hey, you’re the one that offered. If you don’t feel comfortable then we can stop this now,” I tell him.
“And let that asshole keep stalking you?”
“I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. What happened between us at the resort was only ever supposed to stay at the resort. We agreed.”
“Things changed the moment we got back, and your ex threatened you,” Felix says through gritted teeth.
“I don’t want to lead you on.”
“Then why did you kiss me on the plane?” he asks.
“You kissed me.”
“And you kissed me back,” he argues, folding his tattooed arms across his chest.
“Reflex. Muscle memory. Nothing more.”
Felix walks toward me, his large presence looms over where I am sitting on the bed. I swallow nervously. My heart is beating wildly in my chest. “You’re only lying to yourself, Harper. At least I’m honest with myself, that I get off on the memory of your pussy gliding up and down my cock. That I can still taste you on my tongue. I let you pretend that you don’t miss my cock or my fingers in your cunt.” My breath comes out in stuttering bursts as I squeeze my thighs together, my nipples tingle over the memories of his lips wrapped around them.
“Felix,” his name was supposed to come out in a warning, but it feels more like a plea.
“Yes, princess?” He grins as he continues to stare down at me. “Do you need something? You look like you could use a glass of water, you seem awfully flushed suddenly.” I try to push him out of the way, but my hands meet a stone wall. “Just so you know, you can’t push a hockey player around, it’s our job to stay standing.” He laughs. I roll my eyes, step around his massive bulk, and rush into the bathroom.
Thankfully, by the time I get out of the bathroom, Felix has gone to hang out with Sam and Nate in the bar before dinner, so his note says. All that’s left of him is his spicy cologne. I inhale deeply, and the memories of us twisted in the sheets of our bed come floating back, making my skin goosebump. How the hell are we going to be able to sleep side by side tonight? Why are you fighting this, Harper? Jump the man. You know you want to. You know he wants to. Because I’m worried that if I do that, I might fall for him. There, I said it out loud. In my mind. I like him. So, I need to keep this bitchy barrier up between us because the guy is seven years younger than me, plus he’s a hockey player. He has a million and one younger and sexier women vying for his attention. Why the hell would he want someone like me? An older woman with relationship baggage, namely an ex who won’t leave her alone. He can do so much better. I need to keep him at arm’s length, it’s the only way I can protect my heart.
I grab my purse and head over to Kimberly’s room.
“Hey, you look stunning,” she says, greeting me at the door. I’ve gone for this gorgeous pink metallic mini dress that looks like fish scales for dinner tonight.
“Babe, you look fricken sexy. Va, Va, Voom,” I tease Kimberly. She’s wearing a gorgeous baby blue halter dress that clings to her curves and dips low, showing off her incredible cleavage.
“I just popped a bottle of champagne, come on in,” she says, holding the door open for me. I walk in and take a seat on her balcony that overlooks the sun setting over the water. “Here.” She gives me a glass of champagne. We clink our glasses together before taking a sip. “I’m surprised to see you here. I thought you would be locked in your hotel room jumping the hot hockey player’s bones, again.”
I take a larger sip, loving the feeling of the bubbles as they pop on my tongue. “He’s hanging with Sam and Nate at the bar.”
“Your brother loves him. I think he wishes he could date him,” Kimberly teases.
This makes me laugh because it’s true. “Yeah. He’s a little obsessed.”
“It’s cute. He’s like a puppy with a new toy.” Kimberly smirks. “I’m surprised you are now dating Felix, it’s a complete about-face from what you have been saying.”
“He’s hard to resist,” I say, quickly taking another sip of my champagne. Kimmy has known me my entire life and can read me like a book.
“Won’t deny that. Plus, he’s super nice, which makes sense as he’s Canadian. He’s protective over you, too, which is a sexy quality,” she adds, sipping her drink.
“What’s your point, Kimmy?” I know my friend, she doesn’t beat around the bush.
“My point is it’s suss. I don’t believe the bullshit that you two had a moment on the trip over and now you’re together.” I stare out over the pinky-orange sky and twirl my glass, contemplating if I should tell my oldest friend what’s going on. “Harper, talk to me. I promise whatever is going on you can trust me.” Tears fall down my cheeks. “Oh, babe, what is it?” She gets up from her lounge chair, scoots over onto mine, and hugs me.
“The reason I’ve not been myself is because I think Josh is stalking me. It’s like out of my peripheral, I see him everywhere I am, but when I look, he’s gone.”
“Babe, why didn’t you tell us? We could have helped you.”
“I feel like I’m going crazy. Nothing has happened, it’s just a feeling. I’m nervous and stressed, and I’m jumping at my own shadow nowadays. Why do you think I decided to go on this trip at the last minute? I needed space from what was happening. I’m in this heightened state of panic all the time and …”
“And you’ve asked Felix for help?”
“He worked it out. Then kind of demanded that I accept his help, or he was going to tell my family. I don’t need Mom worrying about me when she has the gala next week.”
Kimberly hugs me tighter. “You shouldn’t have been going through this alone.”
“Ever since breaking up with Josh, my life feels like it’s spinning out of control. That everyone else has control over my life except me,” I confess to her.
“Babe, I had no idea. You don’t always have to be strong,” Kimmy reassures me.
“Why would I burden you when you’re dealing with Camryn being away? Issy is still grieving her father. Sam is Sam.”
“It doesn’t matter what is going on in my life, I’m one of your closest friends. I love you. I will always be there for you,” she says, squeezing me tightly.
“Thank you, I’m sorry.”
“You never have to apologize to me. So, what are you going to do?” she asks.
“Felix and I agreed we would date for the summer. He’s free to help me out until then. We can then quietly break up once he starts the season, you know, totally different lives.”
“And you don’t think there’s any chance of you two falling for each other during all this?” Kimmy asks.
“No. He’s seven years younger than me.”
“So?”
“We are at different stages of our lives. Mom thinks I should entertain the thought of having a baby by myself. She also did suggest asking Felix for his sperm but that isn’t going to happen.”
“You would have a baby by yourself?” Kimmy seems surprised.
“My history with men has been dismal. Also, who wants baby daddy problems? I could have a child, and I wouldn’t have to worry about some asshole wanting to take the baby from me, sharing my weekends, or dealing with evil stepmothers,” I explain to her.
“Wow. Sounds like you’ve been giving this some thought.”
“Maybe, a little. I’m still holding out hope on falling in love and getting married, but I’m also not getting any younger.”
“Thirty-four isn’t that old.”
“But my eggs probably are.” I sigh.
“Have you gone and had them checked?” she asks.
I shake my head. “Honestly, I’m scared. What happens if I go, and my eggs are cooked.”
“If this is something you want to do then I’ll come with you. Maybe I can get mine checked, it’s probably good to know if there is a looming deadline.”
“You would come with me?”
“Of course. We could drag Issy along, too. Make it a girls’ day.” She giggles.
“Thanks,” I say, hugging her back.
“Anytime. Also, just be careful this summer because it’s not only your heart on the line,” Kimberly warns.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you telling me you haven’t noticed the way Felix looks at you?” Kimberly asks. I shake my head. “That boy has a crush on you.”
“No.”
“What man signs up to fake date someone with no benefits included in the deal?” Kimberly suggests.
“Like you said, he’s a nice guy.”
“He is. But I think you might have made more of an impression on him in Paradise than you think,” she teases.
“You think?”
“That man’s eyes never leave you. He likes you. Maybe it’s just physical or maybe it’s more, I don’t want to assume.”
“If it’s anything, it’s physical. He’s male.”
“Could be.” Kimberly smirks.
“Would you stop,” I say to her.
“Try not to fall for the hunky hockey player,” she teases.
“I won’t.”