4. Theo
CHAPTER 4
Theo
I turned the ignition off on my SUV and pressed the close button on the garage door. Exiting the vehicle, I grabbed my bag from the back seat and made my way into the house. I was exhausted. We were leaving tomorrow afternoon to travel across the country for our game this weekend, and practice had been grueling. I was grateful we were getting out of the heat of the South to play in a cooler climate. There was no such thing as fall in Florida that was for damn sure.
My phone vibrated and I took it out of my shorts pocket. A delivery confirmation showed that Allie had received my gifts. A smile crept across my face. I hoped they gave her just a minute of peace. I had followed the story of her douchebag ex once it hit, and of course I knew this was months old, but I knew that no matter how well she was doing now, the attention this would get in the media would put her right back there.
I was a fraction of the celebrity she was, and even I had more media attention than I ever wanted after I broke up with Beth for cheating on me. She, of course, took that attention and ran. It was all my fault and not hers. I didn’t even care to defend myself. In Allie’s situation, she couldn’t—and didn’t—say anything. All people would do would be to twist it, no matter what the truth was. She’d stopped discussing anything about her personal life years ago, which only fueled speculation. I definitely understood why she stopped, though. It wasn’t their business.
After my mention of her in the documentary, things kind of blew up. I felt bad about that, but I figured maybe I was helping detract from the media shitstorm over Josiah. I would’ve asked her if I had a way to talk to her, but I knew she wasn’t in the right place right now, so I decided to support her from afar and just let her know I was thinking of her. All she needed was another guy trying to get her attention publicly.
I knew I could find some live streams of her show tonight on social media—I’d taken to watching some of them when I could. I met a lot of famous people, and in my line of work, I met very successful people. But the more I learned about her, the more I realized Allie was something else altogether. Studying her had become my second full-time job. Way to sound like a stalker, I chuckled to myself. But that wasn’t it at all. I just genuinely wanted to know her. I’d prefer to know if what I read about her was true by knowing her , but for now, I’d take what I could get and hope I could get the real story about many of the things I sometimes read from the source herself.
My phone dinged with a text, and it was my publicist, Jamie. Hey T, I have a request you may be interested in. I was contacted a few minutes ago by Zoey Levine, publicist to the one and only Allie Witt. She is asking for your contact information. Are you okay with it? I know this answer, and I kind of wish I had FaceTimed you to ask instead so I could see your face. Let me know. Also, yes, I did completely freak the hell out once I realized it was actually Zoey Levine. I may or may not have asked for proof it was her.
I stared at my phone, my heart pounding so hard I heard it in my ears. Allie. Mallorie. Asked for my phone number. I would laugh at Jamie’s obvious fangirling over Zoey, but I couldn’t seem to move. Was this really happening? Allie really wanted to talk to me? She reached out to get my information? I had dreamed of this moment for the last two months, but no way did I let myself actually think it would happen. I intentionally didn’t put my number on anything, so the ball was in her court, so to speak. I knew she wasn’t in the right headspace for me to start crowding her.
I forced myself to suck in a deep breath. Hands shaking, I FaceTimed Jamie instead of responding. When her face popped up immediately, she was already laughing.
“This is for real? You aren’t fucking with me?” Jamie was amazing, but we had a silly, fun relationship with each other when she wasn’t busting my ass. She knew all about my crush on Allie and my kind of putting it out there in the documentary.
Jamie nodded, her bright eyes wide on the screen of my phone. “Trust me, I couldn’t believe it was Zoey, either. She actually video called so I could be sure it was her and not someone else calling. You’d be proud of me. I acted like the professional I am and didn’t scream, but I wanted to.”
I finally laughed. “She wants to contact me?” I wanted to pinch myself that this was really happening and I wasn’t dreaming.
Jamie nodded. “She does. Zoey mentioned her receiving your gift today and asking to talk to you. She has a show tonight but wanted your info for after. You’re okay with this, right?”
There were few times in life that I was speechless, but I couldn’t make my mouth form words, so I nodded. I was going to talk to Mallorie. Tonight.
“I’m going to be honest; I never thought she’d contact you. Not because you aren’t awesome, but because ...”
“She’s Allie Witt,” I finished the sentence. Jamie nodded, and we both kinda stared at each other for a moment in disbelief.
“One more thing,” she said, her face turning more serious. “Zoey emailed me an NDA. I know it’s awkward, but ...”
“Sign it.”
Jamie laughed. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“I don’t need you to. Sign it. And give Zoey my number for Allie.”
“Do you want me to read it first, or are you just in the habit of having me sign your name to things you haven’t read?”
“I know you. You’ll read it. But I trust her. And I would never, ever say anything that could hurt her. To anyone. So sign it.”
Jamie nodded. “You seem pretty rattled for you, T. You good?”
I looked around like I was afraid someone was going to hear me in my empty house. “Jamie, I’m not going to lie to you. I never have. I’m so fucking excited I could go run through ten guys right now. When I hang up, I may scream like a little girl. In fact, I know I will. It’s a good thing I don’t have a neighbor for at least a mile.”
Jamie threw her head back and laughed. “I get that feeling. When I hung up with Zoey, I absolutely screamed at the top of my lungs and jumped up and down. Definitely a ‘will remember where I was forever’ moment, so thanks for that. I cannot even imagine seeing Allie in person or talking to her on the phone. I may pass away. I think—no, I know —I’m jealous of you right now, but also so happy for you. You deserve this so much after that bitch.”
Jamie was protective of me after Beth. They had become friends, and Jamie felt a lot of guilt over what Beth did to me. I would never, not ever, tell her not to be friends with her, but she refused to be part of her life after she dragged me through the mud and made a media spectacle of me in an extremely personal way.
I laughed at her fangirling because I got it. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing myself to calm down. “Thanks, Jamie. For everything.”
“You do not need to thank me for anything. It is my honor to be part of your life. And, Theo? I know I said this already, but I’m happy for you.”
“It’s just a phone number. Don’t be too happy for me yet. Remember, she is Allie Witt. But also, thank you because I’m fucking happy as a pig in shit right now. I’m going to go so I can scream into my pillow like a fifteen-year-old and start writing her name in my notebook.”
We disconnected and I put the phone down on my counter. My hands shook, and I felt like an idiot because of it. I had never, not ever, been shaky over a woman before. Butterflies, sure. Lust? Absolutely. But this feeling was completely foreign– and I kind of liked it.
“Stop it, Theo,” I said out loud to myself. “Just because she asked for your number doesn’t mean shit. She’s a nice person, and you sent her two gifts. She’s just saying thank you.” I tried to talk reasoning into my head, but my brain was running rampant. I looked at the time. She would take the stage in about fifteen minutes.
Time for me to go take a shower, heat up some food, talk myself out of acting like a fool, and find a live stream to watch. Thank goodness for these die hard fans on social media.
I paced my room, my phone in my hand. It was well after midnight. Allie’s show ended over an hour ago, and I started pacing almost immediately after.
Social media was wild, but I appreciated it in this case, that was for sure. She was definitely back at the hotel or home or wherever she stayed when she played. I realized I didn’t know these details because they weren’t something you could google and that if I got to get to know her, I might find out some of those things. That was more exciting than I’d admit to anyone but myself.
There was no damn way I could go to bed. If she didn’t call, I’d have to take a sleeping pill. I’d already done another workout and had another shower to work out the anxiety, yet I still felt like I was about to play for the championship. Be cool, T. Geez. You sat next to her and rubbed her back while she cried. This is not a big deal . No matter what I told myself, I couldn’t stop my racing thoughts.
This was different. She wasn’t a girl in crisis who literally ran into me full force, and I wasn’t a guy she didn’t know. She chose to talk to me. The biggest global pop superstar in our generation, if not ever. I blew out a breath. This was not a big deal. She was a person. I thought about the day we met and how upset she was. A regular person with regular feelings. Just because she was famous and successful didn’t change that. In fact, it made everything more pronounced. She was just a girl. I laughed at the ridiculousness of my thought. She was absolutely not just a girl. She was the girl.
I flipped my TV to a sports channel for noise. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, making sure the phone was on full volume and had as many bars as possible. I could not miss her call.
I hung the towel back on the rack and picked up my phone, and it dinged in my hand. I almost dropped it trying to turn it on to see who it was.
Theo?
My stomach dropped to my feet as I saw the phone number. Of course, it wasn’t one of my contacts, so unless it was a coincidence that someone I didn’t know got my number to text me after midnight, it was her. Be cool, man. Be cool.
Fingers shaking—and they were too big for these damn keys anyway—I wrote back. It took me too damn long to get the words right and send them.
The one and only. I wanted to say so much more. But I needed to make sure it was really her first.
Send me a picture of you holding up two fingers . The girl wanted to make sure I was who I said I was. Smart. This was not her first rodeo.
I glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I wore a Blaze shirt and sweatpants. I ran my hands through my hair. It was short, so not much to be messed up. I turned my head side to side to make sure there were no rogue beard hairs. I held up two fingers and smiled, snapping the picture in the mirror. I sent it off, every second I waited feeling like a year.
Hey there. Just had to make sure it was you.
I wanted to ask the same thing. I wanted to see her face. But for some reason, I was terrified to ask her. It was like the me who’d rubbed her back and wiped the tears from her face was long gone, and in his place was a bumbling teenager trying to score his first date. With Allie fucking Witt . If twenty-year-old me could see me now.
I understand. It’s great to hear from you .
Without me asking, a picture of Allie filled my screen. She still wore her stage makeup, but she was in a T-shirt and what I assumed were shorts, but I couldn’t see them over the large T-shirt. Her hair was pulled up in a bun on top of her head, with curls framing her face. I lost my breath at the sight of her.
Just in case you needed proof, too. It’s really me and not an impostor. Just got back from my show.
Hey, beautiful. Your show was amazing. How are you holding up?
You saw my show? Again? How? I know we aren’t in the same state tonight.
Your fans live stream it every night. I just have to find the right one. It’s blurry and jumpy, but I get to see most of it.
Wow. That’s dedication. I wanted to thank you. For everything. But—is it okay if I call you?
My eyes widened. She wanted to—call me. My stomach clenched in anticipation of hearing her voice again.
Of course.
Seconds later, the number I for sure would save as hers appeared on my screen again.
“Hey,” I said, trying but probably failing to sound chill. I knew my voice shook because I could hear it. I forced the urge aside to stand up and pace again and instead made myself sit on the bed and lean against the headboard.
“Theo,” she said in response, and I felt each letter of my name throughout my body. That voice. Sweet, melodic, and just a bit gravelly from singing all night. I loved when I heard that part of her in her music because it was hot as hell. I knew nothing about music other than I liked to listen to it, but in my research I figured out it was called lower register. “I trust you, but sometimes texting is hard ...”
“I get it,” I answered. “I am glad to hear your voice, anyway.” I cringed when I said it, wondering if it sounded ridiculous, but she didn’t seem to mind. Since when did I second-guess every word that came out of my mouth? I wasn’t this guy. Since you got a phone call from Allie Witt. Right. That.
“My voice is tired from singing, so excuse the state of it.” She laughed, and my stomach dropped to my feet. God, that sound. “Thank you for everything you did for me that day, but also since then. Thank you for the jersey and the gifts today. I love the lioness. She’s now going to go with me to every tour stop. But also, thank you for what you said—and what you didn’t—in your documentary and in the notes to me. Somehow, with you not knowing me at all, you hit on so many things I needed to hear. That’s why I had to get in touch with you.”
She’d seen my show. Or someone told her. Pride filled my chest. “You don’t have to thank me, Mallie. I didn’t do them for the thank-you. I did them to show you I care and to hopefully make you smile a bit. And as far as the documentary stuff? Not their business. I’m not new to the prying of the press, though I definitely don’t have it on your level. I’ve also had quite a bit of training on how to keep my mouth shut.”
“Mallie?”
I realized that the nickname just came out, and I wasn’t sure if she liked it. “Sorry. Mallorie. Allie. Which do you prefer?” I realized the answer was very important to me. I wanted to respect every part of her, even something as silly as a nickname from someone who barely knew her.
“No,” she said. “I like it. No one has ever called me that. I was either Mallorie or, once I got a record deal, Allie, because it was ‘easier for name recognition.’ I actually suggested Mallie as my stage name because it was different, but that got shot down. I’m named after my grandmother, so my mom never calls me by any nickname. To her, I am only Mallorie Rose.”
“That’s really neat,” I said. “That’s a beautiful name.”
“Yeah, we were really close and she passed away right before I got my record deal, so I’m grateful I get a part of her with me all the time. My song "Generations” is about her.”
I loved learning these things about her. “I am really close with my grandparents, too. Thankfully they are still a part of my life.”
“You’re definitely lucky,” she said. “I only grew up with my mom, so we’ve always been really close as well. She’s my best friend. I’m close to my aunt and uncle as well.”
“I am close with my parents, too. Sure makes things much easier when you have a good support system, doesn’t it?”
“I cannot imagine being where I am without them.”
“So, how are you holding up? It sure looks like you’re killing it out there, but I know that in professions like ours, we also put on a front. Not that we are the same—” Ugh. I needed to stop talking.
“No, you’re right,” she interrupted.
I blew out a breath, glad she didn’t make me feel stupid like my life couldn’t possibly compare to hers.
She sighed. “I’m okay. My fans are sweet and trying to protect me. Tonight, they all had signs that said ‘Team Allie’ on them to show support. It’s apparently a trending hashtag on socials, too. Josiah and I haven’t had any contact in months. He was gone from our house way before I got back there. I just have to wait out the craziness and let them focus on something else—or, in my case, some one else. They will literally try to connect me to anyone. I could sneeze in someone’s direction and they’d say I was sleeping with him.” She laughed dryly. “Or her. Did you know there was a several-year period there when people were convinced Bailey and I were together? There are still some of them out there that just won’t let it go. I mean, I love Bailey like the sister I never had, but not like that.”
I knew Bailey Lee was her best friend and a well-known country singer, and the speculation about her was ridiculous, but I wasn’t surprised after what I knew of the media with Allie and other successful women.
I thought about the social media posts after my pictures went viral. “I’m sorry if I contributed to them speculating about you,” I admitted.
“Theo.” My stomach fluttered again, and I bit my lip to not groan at the way she said my name in her tired voice. “Do not apologize. You made me laugh with your pic pretending to kiss my cheek on the cardboard cutout. As a general rule, I do not do much on social media. It’s just better that way for my own mental health. There were a lot of years that I was active, but the negative gets to me more than I want to admit. So much garbage out there I don’t need to see. Conor, my cousin and my assistant, screens things and shows me things he thinks I will like. He showed me that right away, as well as your and Spencer’s videos in the box singing and dancing to my songs. I’m glad to know that my demographic now includes professional football players.”
“It was fun. You put on an amazing show. I’ve been a fan of yours for many years.” I cringed again at my lack of filter. I’m really not a stalker .
Allie laughed. “Really? Thanks, Theo. I love what I do so much. It makes the rest of it worth it. Wait. Is your name actually Theodore?”
I laughed, too. “No. Just Theo. I was named after my grandfather, Theodore, though. But my mom had mercy on me to not saddle me with that name. But my nickname is T-Bear, like Teddy Bear, because of my size and fuzzy facial hair. Years ago, when I first started playing professionally and grew out my beard, a kid said I looked like a teddy bear, and that was the end of that. My teammates took that and ran with it, and once the fan base got ahold of it, it was mine forever.” I smoothed my trimmed beard, even though she couldn’t see it. “I may have at one time had a good amount of chest hair, but I shave it.”
I felt my face flame. Why was I still talking? She didn’t need to know that.
Allie giggled. “Okay, well, if I am Mallie to you, then you are Teddy to me. That’s how I’m going to save your number in my phone.”
Teddy. I closed my eyes at the thought of being her personal teddy bear, comforting her small frame with my large one. I remembered my giant hand on her small back while she cried. I had to force the images that came after that from my mind and open my eyes again, guilt making my cheeks flame. Thank goodness she couldn’t see me because my thoughts just diverted quickly to the R-rated-heading-toward-X category.
“Is that okay?” she asked.
I realized I hadn’t answered her, lost in my own daydream, and her voice sounded unsure. “Absolutely. Put the little teddy bear emoji next to my name in your contacts.”
She giggled, and I decided that it was my favorite sound in the world. “Yes!”
“I’m putting Mallie with a microphone and a music note in mine.”
“Perfect!”
A natural silence enveloped us for a moment, and I wished for this conversation to never end. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was right now. I would never, not ever, forget this night.