Loving Jake (Almost Perfect #1)

Chapter 12

TWELVE

Kimberly fumbled with her key ring when the front door opened without her assistance. Arms laden with several bags, her head popped up from the doorknob to look straight into Jake’s eyes. “Jake, thanks,” she breathed a sigh of relief.

“It’s four-thirty in the morning. What on earth are you doing awake?” Between the two of them, they managed to carry all of her luggage into the house in one trip. “Just put my stuff at the bottom of the stairs. I’ll bring it up later,” she called out.

Kimberly shook off her light fall coat, prepared to hang it over the back of a chair in the living room rather than hang it up in the closet because she was that tired. She stopped mid-step when she spotted a suitcase in the doorway of the living room. “Jake?” She flung her coat carelessly onto the floor.

“Jake?” she repeated as she walked down the hallway toward the coat closet. “Jake, what’s going on?” She watched him put on his leather jacket, before he stuffed his wallet into an inside breast pocket.

“Jake, are you going to answer me?” She began to tremble inside and out. When he continued to avoid eye contact with her, the reality of the situation finally dawned on her. She brought her hand over her mouth to squelch the sob that formed in her throat.

Jake tilted his head to look at her, and his hazel eyes bore into her despite the dimly lit room. “I have a flight to Saudi Arabia this morning, Kim. I booked it after I received your text from Milan yesterday. I waited for you to come home to tell you and to make sure you were home for Daisy.”

“My flight was delayed. I sent you a text. I was supposed to be home several hours ago,” she whispered in a dazed tone. “Please, Jake. Don’t do this. Don’t leave. Listen to me.” A cold, sense of loss flowed through her, and it chilled her to the bone. “I did a lot of thinking while I was away. Jake, I was wrong to want more from you than you are willing to give. I know that now. Jake, please. November is a long way off. You have almost a month before you promised to return to the Middle East. Jake, please. I’m sorry, can’t you see that? Please don’t leave because of my foolishness.” She breached the gap between them and tenderly reached out to place her hand on his forearm. He flinched and took a step back from her.

“Jake? What have I done that is so terrible that you can’t stand my touch?” This was her fault. If she hadn’t been such a child and run away from him when she had... perhaps if she would have stayed and proven that she needed only him, his bag wouldn’t be packed and sitting in the hall. His leaving had been her own doing. She had no one to blame but herself. She had given him two weeks to realize how selfish and immature she was, and he had apparently taken full advantage of the time.

Defeated in more ways than she ever dreamed possible, Kimberly looked him straight in the eyes. “Have a nice trip,” she murmured and then turned away from him. She was determined to go upstairs to her room and sleep for a week. Hopefully by then, the ugly nightmare she found herself in would be over. She neared the doorway when Jake wrapped his hand around her wrist and twisted her to him.

“Kim.” He dragged his fingers through the hair at the side of his head. “I’m leaving because I no longer have a reason for being here.”

“What?” She studied his handsome face and noticed the small lines around the corner of his eyes that she could have sworn didn’t exist two weeks ago. His shoulder length hair was pulled back to the base of his neck, and the style emphasized the tired lines along his forehead. He looked exhausted and something else. She couldn’t put her finger on it. Beaten? Defeated? She knew the look well and had worn it herself over the last two weeks, but she never expected to see it on him. She continued to stare at him. Her heartbeat throbbed in her ears as she waited for his explanation.

“My grandfather died, Kim. While you were away.” He let out a weary sigh.

“What?” Kimberly whispered and then repeated herself in a near shout. “What? Why didn’t you get in contact with me? How could you not tell me, Jake?” She walked over to the couch and threw herself down on it. Grandpa Zack was dead, and Jake hadn’t even bothered to reach out to her. “You couldn’t even send me a text. Damn you, Jake Taylor, for not telling me.”

Jake ran the palm of his hand over his eyes. He sighed in a sound similar to self-disgust, and it echoed throughout the room. He walked over to Kimberly and sat down next to her on the couch. He breathed deeply, and he rubbed his eyes again. “Kim,” he began in a consoling tone. “Gramps died about a week after you left. I didn’t call you because I knew you would come home. This was your big opportunity. You said so yourself?—"

“Grandpa Zack is more important to me, and so are you. I would have wanted to be there for you, Jake, to at least have had the choice.” The irony, that she cared nothing about the job she had just completed, did not escape her. She had lied to him, and the lie had cost her the chance to say goodbye to a man she had come to love and respect over the last several weeks.

“I appreciate it, Kim. I do.” His voice was a soft caress on her skin, and she felt the effect of it down to the tips of her toes. “If it makes any difference, we didn’t have any type of service. Zane came home from the Philippines, and the two of us arranged for his burial. That’s all. That’s what he wanted.” Jake started to reach over and brush a fallen lock of hair from her face but stopped his hand in midair. Instead, he clenched his hands together in his lap. Kimberly didn’t miss the gesture and assumed that it was out of habit rather than desire, because in few hours he would board a plane, and he gave her no indication that she could persuade him otherwise.

Somewhat consoled by his explanation and because she knew she was to blame, Kimberly’s anger subsided. Unfortunately, she was still left with the fact that he planned to leave, something that she was not prepared to handle after her lonely, tiresome trip. “Jake, this doesn’t mean you have to leave. You promised your producer you would return in November. That’s still a few weeks away.”

“Ah, Kim,” he replied brokenly. “You know as well as I do, that I need to leave. We both need to get on with our lives, and it will only make it harder by my staying.” Jake pushed up the sleeve of his leather coat and glanced at his watch. “I better get going.”

Something snapped inside of Kimberly. Her world had just crashed around her, and she suddenly felt helpless to stop it, but she knew she had to try. “No.” She grasped each of his forearms. “Please, Jake. I need you. We can make it together. I know what I said before, no commitments. But, Jake, don’t you see? We can make it. I love you, Jake. I’ve loved you forever. The past two weeks were torture for me. I never stopped thinking about you,” She tightened her grasp on his arms, hysteria bubbled up inside of her. “Jake, I don’t need children, only you. Please believe that. Jake, please don’t leave me, please.”

“Kim, please don’t do this to me. Not now.” He shook his head, removed her hands from his arms, and backed out of her reach. “No.” Jake nearly shouted in his defense.

“Kim, I have to go,” he choked out in a tortured voice. “Please, Kim, don’t do this. Look, I care about you. We’ll always be friends?—"

“Friends?... Friends? You’re not my friend, Jake. My friends don’t rip out my heart and then leave me to deal with the damage. No, we can’t be friends.” She curled herself up into a tight ball with her head rested on top of her knees. “Please go.” Her voice trembled, as she swiped the corners of her eyes with the palm of her hand.

“I’m sorry, Kim.” Jake whispered and smoothed his hand along the dark hair at the top of her head.

“Please go,” she repeated and swatted his hand away from her. She visibly winced when he complied with her demand and stood up. He planned to walk away from her. For good. He thought he had no other choice, and Kimberly was at a loss to convince him otherwise.

She stared longingly at him, unable to stop herself. Maybe she could use the memory of his leaving as a reminder of how he hadn’t cared enough to stay and fight for them, when she lay awake at night, foolishly yearning for him.

“Take care of yourself.” He waited patiently for her response, but she refused to give him one.

Tears continued to stream down her cheeks, but she remained silent. Finally, he turned and walked away. He reached the edge of the room when she called out to him, her voice rough and raspy from crying .

“Jake?”

“Yes?”

“Goodbye.”

Jake visibly winced. His shoulders sagged, and his eyes widened before they became hooded and downcast. Without even a nod of his head, he turned and walked out of the room. Kimberly waited for the sound of the front door to close, and then she buried her head into her hands and wept.