Lucky Boys (Il Fortunato #1)

18. Brooks

CHAPTER 18

brOOKS

I kicked my feet in the pool, staring out into middle distance. It had been about a week since Luca agreed to take the job, and we finally had a possible lead on where Larsen could be headed, so we were leaving in the morning.

I would’ve thought these guys would be focused on preparing, but instead Luca had announced they’d be having a cookout.

In fairness, he’d had it planned for a few weeks now and refused to cancel it, even though we were leaving. He said it would be good for us to relax first. So, Wes, Ri, Beck, and their friends, Jay and Dakota, were all on their way. Because Luca was a boss at avoiding his problems, he still hadn’t told Wes that we were leaving for who knew how long, and planned to do that today. The man had communication issues, as I could attest to.

I didn’t really mind that we were doing this though; Beck and Ri were cool as fuck. But I was feeling a little out of sorts.

Things were settling down here. We hadn’t put words to it, but something was happening with Skye, Mav, and me. We still hadn’t had a chance to have the big limits discussion Mav kept talking about, but I found myself falling asleep cuddled in their arms nearly every night. We haven’t had another scene or done anything sexual, but our connection was building past physical attraction.

Even Diego was getting comfortable. The office he’d made was completely his now, and he was even bantering with the guys. A few times, I’d found Skye sitting on the other desk, just keeping Diego company. Usually, I was the only one who was allowed to do that, so it made me all fluttery and happy inside to see him opening up to someone else.

It wasn’t just Skye, either. I’d learned yesterday that D had been talking to Wes through text every day this week. I’d tried to ask what that was about, and D had shut down. But still, that was a good sign, right? Especially since I planned on asking Wes to keep an eye on Diego on the down-low while we were gone. I knew other members of Luca’s team would be around, but I didn’t know them, and Diego didn’t trust them for shit. I thought everyone would feel more comfortable with Wes.

The only snag in my happiness was Luca. He had still been avoiding me like I avoided homework in the third grade unless it was specifically work related. It left me in such an off-putting place. Like, I really wanted to explore this thing with Mav and Skye, and I knew they didn’t necessarily have to be dating the same person, but with my and Luca’s history, it just felt so up in the air without us at least hashing everything out. If he wanted to leave us in the past, then . . . I guessed I’d be okay with that. I’d managed the last three years just fine, hadn’t I? But this not knowing, limbo bullshit didn’t work for me. I told myself I’d leave it in his court, but if he didn’t fucking do something soon, I’d be stealing that ball back.

Groaning, I lay down so my back was against the concrete, squinting into the sun. I really needed a pair of sunnies. I couldn’t keep track of them on a good day, so finding them and remembering to bring them in the chaos that had been my house had been a no go, but someone here must have an extra. I covered my face with my arm.

A few minutes passed while I considered if it was worth the effort to get up when I heard someone walk up next to me. I opened one eye and peeked through my arm to get a glimpse of tanned, toned legs. Luca. I swallowed and closed my eyes again.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” he asked, his voice a little stiff.

I grunted as I sat up, propping myself up with my hands behind my back and staring up at him. “It’s your pool,” I reminded him.

His lips twitched. “True.” Luca sat down next to me and dipped his bare feet into the water. He was wearing a pair of blue ombré swim shorts and a navy-blue T-shirt. It was weird seeing him in something so . . . basic. I almost wouldn’t have been surprised if he swam in a tux.

Luca sighed heavily, and I braced myself. Whatever he was going to talk about wouldn’t be fun. Finally, he turned his head, looking me directly in the eyes. “Brooks, I’m sorry.”

I sucked in a breath, but I wasn’t going to be fooled yet. Fucker had been saying sorry for all types of shit lately, but not about anything that really mattered.

“For what?” I finally mustered up the courage to ask when he didn’t elaborate.

Luca pursed his lips. He looked uncomfortable, which was weird on him. Part of me liked that I unsettled him so much, and the other part wanted to know what I could do to fix it.

“What you told me the other day, in the kitchen, it hit me hard. From the moment I walked out of your room all those years ago, I told myself I was doing the right thing. And since you never reached back out and Skye told me you were back in the scene, I convinced myself I was right. You were too young, too innocent. Not to mention Emma and Dave’s kid. I had no business touching you in any way, let alone doing the stuff we did that night. Even as you slept peacefully at my side, the guilt was eating away at me. I felt like a fucking monster, and that was before I knew you were a virgin.”

I tilted my head, looking at him. This was the first time Luca was trying to explain his actions to me, and I couldn’t even begin to express how much I appreciated that. Even if they made no fucking sense, I would listen and try to understand it from his perspective.

“I don’t understand why you felt like that,” I told him honestly. “I very enthusiastically consented. Never once did I feel like you were forcing me or doing something I didn’t want. I felt safe, Luc. Cared for.”

He swallowed, his jaw tight. “I’m 20 years older than you, Brooks.”

I scoffed. “Eighteen. And that’s a bullshit excuse and you know it. Skye isn’t that much older than me, and he was probably around 21, 22 when you guys hooked up. Why were you a monster for fucking me, but it was okay for Skye? 12 years is an appropriate age gap, but 18 is too much?”

Alright, maybe I was being a little snarky, but it was hard to stop when he’d tried to use a dumb ass excuse like that.

Even Luca smiled a little. “Smartass.”

I shrugged, unapologetic. “Unless that’s the reason you walked away, I need you to keep talking, please. You started this off with an apology, but I have yet to hear what you were apologizing for.”

Luca cleared his throat and shook his head. “You’re right. And no, I didn’t walk away because you’re a fucking smartass. I love that about you.”

I tried not to do a little happy dance when Luca used the L word about anything to do with me. I really did. I had no idea if I succeeded.

“And you’re also right that the age difference never seemed like a big deal when it came to Skye. I don’t have a good answer for you as to why. Maybe because I didn’t know him as a kid? I don’t consider his parents my good friends? I wish I had a better answer for you than I do. All I know is for once in my life, I lost control. I let my wants take over and put them ahead of everything. I . . . lost control, Brooks. I should’ve said no to you. I told myself I’d just give you the knife and leave. Put distance between us. But one look at those pretty blue eyes shining with mischief and I was a fucking goner. No one, not Mav, Skye, no one, has ever made me feel so . . . out of my depth like you did. I-I just couldn’t. It’s a terrible answer, and you deserve better. But it’s the truth. I knew you’d be my biggest weakness if I didn’t leave then. That I’d never be able to think clearly when it came to you if I didn’t walk away. I used the excuse of the age gap and your parents, and sure, that factored in, but it was all you, Brooks. Even after one night together, I knew I’d burn down whole cities, overturn governments, destroy everyone who even looked at you sideways, and it scared the fuck out of me. I can’t be that person, so I told you it was a mistake and left. But the only mistake was walking away that night.”

I—Brooklyn Brighton Foster—was fucking speechless and thoughtless. Like, there were no thoughts in my head. I couldn’t remember a time I didn’t have five million different things running through my mind at one time. Subspace quieted it some, but not like this. I was just blank. A lump of clay. Putty. Whatever the fuck the saying was. Luca had somehow successfully shut my brain up. My mouth opened like it wanted to say something, was sure it should say something. But words required thoughts, and that wasn’t fucking happening anytime soon. I stared . . . opening and closing my mouth like a damn fish.

Thankfully, Luca just kept talking. “That’s not even what I want to apologize for. I messed up, and I’ll gladly spend the rest of my life repenting for that, but hindsight is 20/20 and you deserve so much more than the words ‘I’m sorry’ for that night. It would cheapen how special it was. Because despite what I said, it wasn’t a mistake.”

Luca’s shoulders heaved. He pulled his feet out of the water and came to kneel on the hard ground in front of me. He didn’t touch me, but he was so fucking close I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. All I had to do was reach out . . . So close . . .

“I need to apologize for ignoring you since you opened up to me. It really rocked me, what you told me, but it’s no excuse. I was being a coward. I was hiding behind work, watching in secret while Mav, Skye, and Diego took care of you when all I wanted was to be there too. I was too wrapped up in my own issues and in my head to speak to you like I should have, and for that, I’m sorry.” A little, needy whine escaped my lips. It was so embarrassing and so inappropriate, but I couldn’t stop it. Not when Luca was—finally—saying the fucking words I’d needed him to all this time.

“I don’t know what happens next. I can’t promise I’m never going to freak out again. With Skye and Maverick, everything just comes so easily. It wasn’t even a conscious decision to love them. It just happened. We just fit. I love both of them, and I would kill or die for either of them in a heartbeat, but there’s still a rationality there when I think about them. If anything happened to you, the word rational wouldn’t even be in my vocabulary, trouble—fuck, sorry, Brooks.”

I broke. I broke like a fucking dam. Were there still so many fucking things we had to work through? Absolutely. But I was positive I’d die right this second if I didn’t get my hands on this man.

“You can call me trouble,” I told Luca, and then covered the small bit of distance between us, throwing myself at him with enough force that he fell on his ass with an oomph.

Luca’s arms tightened around me, securing me in his grip, and it felt so fucking right. We had a long way to go, but I could already feel the pieces slotting together and settling into something cohesive. Just a little bit of work and it could be something wonderful.

“I’d really like to kiss you now,” Luca told me, his voice husky.

I tilted my head up and pursed my lips, offering them up. “So do it.”

Maybe there was more challenge in my tone than I meant, because something dark flashed in Luca’s eyes and before I could even take a breath, he had us flipped so I was on my back, my head hanging over the pool and his body heavy on top of me. His fingers threaded through my hair, keeping my head exactly where he wanted it. The heat in his eyes threatening to melt me more than the summer sun.

“So fucking dangerous, trouble.”

Then his lips were on mine. Me being thought-free before? Well, compared to this, I’d been in a full ADHD overstimulated meltdown. Luca’s kiss was all-consuming, dominating me in every way, and I let it. All I could manage was to hang on for dear life as Luca took everything he wanted, and then probably some more from me. I was so thankful his hand was keeping my head up, because I doubted I had the strength to hold it on my own, and I’d end up drowning just when Luca had finally figured his shit out. Though, what a way to go.

Because holy fucking damn, my memories of Luca’s mouth hadn’t done him justice. Even when he’d kissed me in the kitchen a few days ago, it was fucking nothing on this. Luca was claiming me, and I just lay there basking in every moment.

His hips ground against mine, letting me feel just how hard he was in those swim trunks. I managed enough strength to lift mine up and rub my own erection against his. Luca broke the kiss long enough for me to suck in one breath that burned my lungs before he was back on me, the long length of his dick dragging against mine. Our clothes seemed to make the sensations even stronger, and I was seconds away from coming in my shorts. I arched again, desperate to get everything I could manage.

“Fuck, Brooks . . . look what you do to me.”

Luca was moving us again. He was back on his ass on the concrete and I was on top of him. The hard surface bit into my knees, but I couldn’t care less. I cupped the back of his neck and kissed him, though lighter than he’d done to me.

Luca’s hand dipped into my shorts and circled my dick. “Tell me to stop.”

I shook my head. “No. Don’t stop.”

“Fuck,” he cursed softly, and then he was tugging on my cock. I usually had self-control. I swore I did. Maverick could attest to that. But everything with Luca had been building up to this moment for so long that my body was desperate. I needed this. I needed to see how he’d react when the moment was over.

With a long, needy moan, I came in my shorts and all over Luca’s hand.

For a moment, neither of us moved. He kept stroking me lightly until every drop was milked out of me and I was becoming too sensitive. Even after that, we just sat there, our chests heaving as we stared at each other.

There were so many emotions running through Luca’s eyes that I had no hope of pinning one down. As long as he didn’t turn his back on me again, I wasn’t worried. We’d get through anything else. But if he walked away, I’d be damaged beyond repair.

Eventually, Luca pulled his hand out and it was covered in my release, but before he could do something crazy like wipe it off, I took it to my lips and began to clean him.

“Fuck. Trouble.” I smiled slightly, leaning into the nickname, and sucked his thumb into my mouth.

Luca’s pupils dilated, and I half-expected to be pushed to the concrete again, when a throat cleared to the side. Maverick, Skye, and Diego all stood there, watching us.

Skye and Maverick both looked . . . well, horny as fuck. I could see the outline of both their cocks in their shorts, and they seemed ready to join us here. There was also happiness in their expressions. It relaxed me some. As much as I logically knew Mav and Skye were okay with this, seeing them physically react went a long way to calming my nerves.

“Damn, you two finally figured shit out and I missed the fucking show,” Skye complained. “Can we get a play-by-play? Or a repeat?”

Luca laughed and started to climb to his feet, but my focus was on Diego. I couldn’t make out what he was thinking. Which unnerved the fuck out of me. I always knew what D was thinking. I opened my mouth, but he just smiled at me and nodded, letting me know we were okay. There was more to it, but I’d let it go for now. As long as he wasn’t mad at me.

There was a hand in front of me, and it took a second to realize it was Luca’s and he was helping me up. I climbed shakily to my feet. I didn’t know what to expect next, but I was fucking shocked when Luca cupped my jaw and kissed me again. I had to taste like my own cum, but he didn’t hesitate. Right there in front of his boyfriends and my brother, he kissed me. There was no shame. I wasn’t a mistake or a secret. He wasn’t walking away again.

“Come on, trouble. Let’s shower before everyone else gets here.”

“I think we all need a shower, don’t we, Mav?” Skye asked playfully.

Mav gave Skye a dark look. “I think Luca and Brooks need some time on their own, don’t you, Skye?”

Skye pouted before glancing at Diego, who looked like a deer in headlights. “Back me up here, D.”

Diego gasped. Like, full-on, Southern belle swinging on a porch swing gasped. “Um, what?”

I tried to intercede. I knew Skye was just playing, but that kind of banter had never been comfortable for Diego and I didn’t want him upset.

I didn’t get a chance before Luca interrupted. “Brooks and I are going to the main bedroom to shower. Anyone who wants to join us has five minutes before I lock the door.” He caressed my jaw. “You know how to safeword if you’re not okay with any of this,” Luca reminded me.

My tongue darted out to lick his thumb. “I know. I’m not safewording.”

With a smile, Luca grabbed my hand and started to drag me to the house. Halfway there, I twisted around to check on Diego, but he was already gone.