Lucky Boys (Il Fortunato #1)

20. Wes

CHAPTER 20

WES

Twenty minutes after walking into Diego’s office, I left feeling giddy in a way I hadn’t since I’d been a kid. I felt such a strong connection to Diego, and I couldn’t wait to get to know him better. He was hesitant, positive it wouldn’t work, but I was confident it would. I didn’t know what a relationship with Diego would look like, but it didn’t matter. Just being in his life and having him trust me was a win.

Even after Luca cornered me and told me that they were all leaving on some kind of search and rescue mission with no determined return date, I couldn’t shake the smile. I was worried for my best friend, and I knew I’d miss him, but it meant I would have more time with Diego one-on-one, and I’d take advantage of that.

Now, I was lounging by the pool, the smell of barbequed chicken and burgers filling the air as my kids roughhoused in the water like they didn’t have a care in the world. A sense of peace covered me I never thought I would have. I had a family, a place I belonged. While I’d loved being a SEAL and my work after, it had never come close to the security I felt around these guys. It would hurt, Luca and the others being gone and being stuck here, but it seemed like I was finally headed in the right direction.

A small sound had me getting out of my head and turning toward my right, where Riley was plunking into the lounge chair next to me. He was still soaking wet, no towel in sight, with a plate piled high with food.

“Hey,” he said with a grin, already shoveling macaroni salad into his mouth.

“Hey,” I replied with a smile of my own. Seeing Riley happy and carefree was contagious. “Having fun?”

He nodded as he continued to stuff food in his face. I wanted to tell him to slow down, but didn’t have the heart. Riley and Beckett never had to worry about having enough food ever again, but habits like that were hard to break, and I didn’t want to ruin the relaxed vibe between us by pointing it out.

“Yeah, this place never gets old. I could get used to this, even if this place is fuckin’ insane. Jay and I have a running bet whether Luca’s mobbed up or Batman. Becks thinks both.”

I laughed. Luca would fucking love that. “Yeah, this place is pretty ridiculous, right? It’s been in his family for ages though.”

Riley hummed thoughtfully. “I can’t imagine growing up in a house like this.”

“Me either, honestly.”

Riley tilted his head toward me, curiosity in his eyes. “You know, I never asked how you grew up. That’s kinda fucked up.”

I scooted my chair closer so our knees were touching, relieved when Ri didn’t try to move. “No, it’s not. We’re still getting to know each other. Besides, after everything they did, I don’t bring my parents up much, and I can understand you not asking about them.”

It was my parents’ fault I hadn’t found out I had a son for 20 years. I’d been deployed at the time, and Riley’s mother Laurie had gone to my parents to tell them and see if there was a way to contact me. My parents had completely shut her out, told her never to contact them or me again, and hidden for all those years that I was a father. They had even somehow convinced her not to put me on the birth certificate, relinquishing all my parenting rights and responsibilities. I’d only found out Riley existed by sheer chance, otherwise I might have never known.

Just the thought of that made me feel sick. Even though I’d only had my son and his found family in my life for a short time, they made me feel so much more complete and content. I’d realized I could love in a way I’d never thought possible. Not to mention, I couldn’t imagine what would’ve happened to Ri and Beckett if I hadn’t found them.

“I’m not asking ‘bout them. I wanna know more about you.”

Jeez, he really knew how to make my old-man heart melt. It was true I hadn’t talked a ton about my past with the boys. It had been more about me getting to know them. Besides, it’d been crisis after crisis since we’d met, and even with them living with me, we hadn’t had a lot of chances to just talk.

“I grew up in an upper-middle-class suburb. We were comfortable, more than, really, but nothing like this.” I waved my hand at Luca’s estate. “My mom worked for the local board of education, and Dad was in aviation. I lived in a four-bedroom house with a white picket fence and a two-car garage. My parents stayed in that house until my mom died and we put my dad in a nursing home.”

Riley shifted in the chair so he was cross-legged. His plate of food was almost entirely done. “Did my mom grow up like that too?”

I nodded. “Yeah, she lived around the block. Our houses were almost identical. It was one of those neighborhoods.”

Riley smiled softly but got quiet. I was never really sure what it meant when he did that. Was he angry, sad? I hated that I didn’t know my kid well enough to tell.

Beckett did though, and I swore the man had some kind of tracker implanted in Riley that immediately informed him any time he was upset or had any change of emotion. Beckett was on the other side of the yard, chatting with Jay’s boyfriend, Dakota and Maverick, not even looking this way, and suddenly his head snapped in this direction.

I tried not to laugh as Becks stood up and strode purposefully toward us. He spared me a glance before turning his attention to Riley. “What’s the matter, butterfly?”

Ri looked up, like he hadn’t realized Becks was there, and immediately relaxed. “Oh, I’m fine. I was just asking Wes about his childhood and Mom came up.”

Beck grunted and then picked Riley up from the chair, sat in it himself, and brought Riley onto his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around him.

Riley snorted. “You know you’re ridiculous, right?” Still, he buried his face in the side of Beckett’s neck and dug his fingers into his T-shirt.

It was intimate enough that I felt like I should look away, but I couldn’t. It was likely wrong to be jealous of my own kids’ relationship, especially due to the circumstances that forced them to be so close, but sometimes I did envy their love. What would it be like to be so attuned to another person, to literally be two halves of a whole? Would I ever have that kind of love?

Sometimes, I felt Luca and I could have that, but there’d always been a wall there we hadn’t been able to break down, one that was completely my fault. I refused to take that next step, and I wasn’t even sure why. I kept telling myself it was because I was monogamous, that there was no way I’d be comfortable in a relationship like Luca’s . . . yet my feelings that were developing for Diego had me questioning myself. I still loved Luca, but my interest in Diego could easily develop into something more. Could I see myself in a relationship with them both? Absolutely.

So what was it that kept stopping me? My own self-doubt? Traditional values that I let bother me more than I should? Honestly, I had no idea. But all the reasons I kept Luca in the friend zone were seeming less and less valid as time went on. That solid concrete wall had been bulldozed, and one light kick could easily have the remains tumbling down.

“Hey, Wes?” I snapped out of my thoughts and turned back to Ri and Beckett, who were still sharing the chair.

“Are you okay?” Riley asked, concerned.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I was just lost in my thoughts.”

“I understand that. I was just saying that we’re going to head out. Becks has work early tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. I’m so glad you all came. Seriously.”

Riley grinned. “Yeah, me too. I understand why Luca is obsessed with cookouts now. At least bougie ones like this.”

I stood and waited until the four of them said goodbye to everyone before walking them out.

I considered leaving as well, but decided against it. This was the last time I’d see Luca and the other guys besides Diego for a while, and I didn’t want my time with them to end yet. I walked back to the yard.

Luca sat down next to me at the fire pit, two beers in his hands. He handed one over, and I nodded in thanks.

Things had died down some after my kids had left. Diego had long since retired, and Maverick had taken his leave about twenty minutes ago, saying he had some prep work to do before they left tomorrow. Brooks and Skye were still around, but they were playing horseshoes toward the side of the property, laughing and teasing each other.

I had to go home, but it was too hard to leave. Especially knowing they’d be gone and I had no idea for how long. On top of that, I had gotten a strange call from Jay, Beckett’s best friend. They had found a concerning note in front of Dakota’s apartment when they’d gotten home from the cookout. I’d promised them I’d look into it, and Diego was already checking out CCTV footage around the building, but it had left me with this weird feeling inside my skin, and I really didn’t want to be alone in my apartment.

“You okay, man? You’ve been staring into space for like fifteen minutes.”

I hummed in response, taking a sip of beer before answering. “Yeah, I’m good. It’s been a weird day.”

Luca laughed. “Yeah, you’re telling me.” He glanced at me, concerned. “Will you be good when we leave? You can always come with us, you know.”

I shot him a dirty look. “Fuck off, you know I can’t. I’ll be fine. This is hardly the first time you’ve taken off to God knows where for who knows how long.”

“True.” Luca shrugged. “Though, the same could be said for you. How long were you gone right after you found out about Riley?”

Yeah . . . Well, it came with the territory with our jobs. It sucked, but was something you got used to after a while.

I shifted my lawn chair so I was closer and looked directly at Luca, our knees touching. “I’ll be fine. I’ll worry, obviously, but it’ll also give me a chance to learn about Diego.”

Luca gave me a lopsided grin. “I thought I noticed something there. That’s good, man. You both deserve to be happy.”

“Nothing’s happening yet, not really. We’ll be taking it slow. I think Diego is a little confused about his feelings and will need some time to work them out. But I’m patient, and I think it’ll be worth it.”

“You always were. Too fucking patient if you ask me.”

“Excuse me for not running into situations half-cocked.”

Luca laughed. “I do not do that.”

“If you say so.”

Fuck, I was going to miss this man. Yeah, it wasn’t the first time we’d be separated. Our whole friendship had been based on long periods of being apart, but when we came back, it was like time had never passed. Didn’t make it any easier.

Luca’s eyes caught mine in the light of the fire, and it stopped me dead in my tracks. The intensity of his stare was more than I had seen in years. It brought me back to long nights in the desert, just Luca and me hidden in the shadows.

“Luc,” I whispered, my voice caught in my throat.

Rough fingers touched my cheek as he leaned forward, the whiskey on his breath washing over my senses. “I’m tired of waiting, Wes. You know how I feel about you, how much I want you. I don’t want to leave the country without making that clear. I love you. I’ve loved you since we were scared kids with more balls than sense. I loved you as you pushed me away, determined to find that Nuclear family suburban life, and I love you now. Stop fighting this, Wes. We could be so fucking perfect.”

My breath hitched and I felt dizzy. I loved Luca too, I always had, but the things that had me hesitating hadn’t changed. He had a good thing with Mav and Skye. He loved them. How could I interfere with that? How could I compete?

“Tell me what you’re thinking, love,” Luca whispered.

“You’re with Mav and Skye. You love them.”

“I do. I can love them and you. And Brooks. My heart is big enough for all of you. It’s not a competition, Wes. You’re all my family. You’re all mine.”

It would be so easy to give in. I understood it all—I did. Their relationship was everything. I wouldn’t be ruining it or getting in between. I’d be adding to it. “What if things don’t work out? I can’t lose you, Luc.”

He brought his face closer so his lips brushed against mine. They parted against my will, and I so desperately wanted to lean forward, get more pressure.

“You won’t, love. You’ll never lose me, no matter what.”

Fuck. I wanted to believe him. It was all I ever wanted.

“I have feelings for Diego. I want to explore them.”

“Of course, love. As long as Diego wants that too, I’d never get in the way. You know that.”

I was done fighting. What was the point? This man had always had me in a choke hold, and that would never change. The battle had been lost from the moment it had begun, and it was time for me to finally accept surrender.

I leaned forward, my lips firmer against Luca’s.

It was all the answer he needed. His other hand cupped the back of my head as he deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing between my parted lips.

I opened immediately, letting him in. I didn’t have any fight left. I was used to being the one in control, being the one that took, but just this once, I let Luca take and I just felt.

My beer slipped from my hands, clamoring to the ground with a loud clunk. I ignored it, my fingers slipping in Luca’s soft, thick hair, holding him in place as he continued to plunder my mouth.

“Fuck,” he cursed, pulling away just enough for us to take some staggering breaths.

I didn’t let him breathe for long though. He awakened something in me, and I needed more. I needed Luca as much as air.

I attacked his mouth again. I was no longer in my chair, but kneeling in between his legs on the hard ground. My knees would likely hate me later, but I didn’t care. I needed to be closer. I needed to feel Luca in every way possible.

“Fucking finally.” The voice off to the side had me opening my eyes. Brooks and Skye stood there, both grinning with heated looks in their eyes. Skye had his arm wrapped around Brooks, and he kissed the side of his head with a laugh at whatever Brooks had muttered under his breath. The brief moment of worry I’d felt about how they’d react evaporated.

Luca scowled at them. “Don’t you two have somewhere else to be?”

“Not really, boss,” Skye replied. “I mean, if you keep claiming your men out in the yard, I’m gonna keep watching.”

“For real,” Brooks piped up. “I mean, there’s plenty of rooms in that mansion you call a home. Yet you keep doing this outside. I think you like an audience.”

Luca’s eyes narrowed, but he was trying to keep in his laughter. My head was all over the place and I couldn’t contribute to the conversation if I wanted to. All I knew was that I would explode if I didn’t touch Luca soon.

“Just wait and you’ll find out all kinds of things I’d do to you with an audience, trouble.”

Brooks shivered, his tongue peeking out between his teeth to play with his lip ring. Yeah, he liked that idea.

“Boys, leave. Now.” Luca’s tone brooked no argument.

Skye sighed heavily, like he was seriously put out by the order. “We’re going. We’re going.” He took Brooks’s hand. “Don’t worry, I know plenty of places to hide where he won’t know we’re watching,” Skye staged-whispered then all but sprinted out of here, dragging a laughing Brooks with him.

Luca feigned like he was going to chase them, but I grabbed his chin, bringing his attention back to me. I didn’t care if they watched.

“Take me to your room, Luc. I want to feel you inside me before you leave.”

Luca cursed quietly under his breath, and I swore I heard a whoop from somewhere behind the bushes. We both ignored that as Luca climbed to his feet, taking me with him. We only made it a few steps before his mouth was on me. We stumbled a few steps back toward the house, but neither of us could stop touching long enough to make real progress.

“The fire . . . ,” I had the sense to mumble on Luca’s lips.

He sighed and turned his head back. “Skye, Brooks!” he called out. “The fire, please.”

“Got it, boss!” Skye said from not very far at all. Did they really just hide somewhere? “Go fuck your man!”

Luca rolled his eyes, but then any other thoughts I had escaped because he pushed against me and I could feel his hard cock against my thigh. I moaned, my fingers clawing into his bicep.

“C’mon, love.” He took me by the hand, and I followed him hazily into the house.