Lust (Saints & Sinners #1)

Chapter 7

7

LUKE

A s I head out of the dorm on my way to the old church, my cock’s already perking up, my body eager to be in Brad’s presence again.

I wish my cock wouldn’t betray me, that it’d be as frustrated as the rest of me with what an ass Brad’s been. But after what he did to me last night, I can’t blame my body. The sensations he stirred when he was right on me, his lips against my throat, then around my cock, his wet mouth promising an end to my suffering… And then when he swallowed my load, it felt like ever since he first saw me, he’s been thinking about deep throating his Pretty Boy. Or his Straight Boy.

No, not his .

I’m not his.

I’m fucking straight, I remind myself. It’d be fine to be hot for him if I were queer, but what’s happening between us doesn’t have anything to do with my preference. Or does it? I was quick to deny being attracted to guys from the start, but I acknowledge there have been times I’ve thought guys were hot. Maybe I even felt attracted to them, and I just didn’t realize that’s what it was. What if this has always been in me and somehow Brad’s bringing it out? Jury’s still out on Brad orchestrating it with his powers, but even if he’s not, it’s possible this is because he and his idiot friends are playing with forces they don’t understand, and maybe the way Brad and I are lusting after each other is an unintended consequence.

After our chat, Brad texted me directions to where we’d meet up. Didn’t mention how he got my information. Was that in the background check too? Did he use magic to find it out? Or is there a more mundane explanation, like asking Alexei for it?

I follow the directions, taking one of the nature trails in the woods surrounding the school, using my phone light to guide me. This is about as stupid as following Brad into the woods, since the guys could jump me out here. Although, if Brad wanted to hurt me, he already had his chance when he had that blade on me.

I head along the path for a few minutes before it opens out to a clearing, where I spot a church. Just beyond it, the moonlight illuminates a few statues of saints and the Virgin Mary—a cemetery.

As I near the church, I notice the details in the dilapidated building—chipped white paint, rotting wood, boarded-up windows. It’s not massive, but it likely catered to a few hundred congregants in its heyday—maybe in the sixties or seventies, judging by the wear and tear. At the front, there’s a gravel parking lot beside an old dirt road that I doubt has access to a main road anymore.

I head around to the other side of the church, where I discover a set of boards patching up a hole in the wall, which is where Brad’s text said I should enter. I shift them, making space and heading inside. After resetting the boards behind me, I pan my phone around the room: old pews, a worn-out organ, and the expected church paraphernalia.

“You’re late,” a low growl comes from nearby, stirring fear, tension, and frustration in quick succession, all mixed with my undeniable arousal. Fortunately, the latter feels more manageable since we jerked off.

Brad’s fist is clenched at his side, and unlike when he cornered me in the woods last night, I suspect this time it’s not because he wants to hand my ass to me, but because he’s got other ideas for my ass.

He guides me to a door, then down a set of steps to the basement. Candles are set up around the place, illuminating it in a soft orange glow. In the middle of the cement floor is the chalk pentagram I saw when Cody was fucking with my head. It’s wild to have confirmation that it really exists outside my mind, and it helps my skeptical self accept that, despite any remaining doubts, this is real.

Seth rises from a desk on the other side of the room and starts toward us. “What did you do to Codes?” He approaches fast, and I figure he’s about to deck me, but he stops a few inches short and spits out, “Tell me the truth. Now.”

I’ve felt his power. I know at least one of the tricks up his sleeve. He did it to me and I assume to Prof. Strauss too, so I wait to lose control of my will.

But nothing happens.

He grits his teeth, reaching into his shirt collar and retrieving a cross necklace like Brad’s. “The truth. Now. ”

Given how Brad’s pulled that thing out at times, I suspect they’re stronger when they hold the necklace…or maybe it helps them focus their power. Whatever it usually does, it’s obviously not working on me.

Seth’s gaze shifts to Brad. “You still believe a damn thing he says?”

“I didn’t say I believed him. I said we should listen.”

Seth grunts. “Look, you guys fucking around doesn’t change shit.”

I glare at Brad. “You told him?” Shouldn’t surprise me, though. Maybe I was a fool for trusting him after all.

“No, no. I didn’t,” he insists.

“But you just did,” Seth snaps. “See? Plenty of ways of getting the truth out of you, even without my goddamn powers.”

“We didn’t fuck,” Brad clarifies.

“I don’t give a shit.” Seth moves quickly, snatching me by my jacket and shoving me against the corner by the stairwell entry. “Listen to me, you piece of shit.”

“Seth!” Brad shouts.

But Seth disregards it and goes on, “You ever attack Cody again like that, you so much as give him a nasty look, and I won’t need any powers because I will tear your navel through your goddamn skull. Do you hear me?”

Even in the dim lighting, I can see how red his face has turned and the tears in his eyes. Despite how he’s treating me, there’s something nice about seeing how much he cares about his friend. I’ve never had a friend willing to defend me like this. And as much of an ass as he’s been to me, it’s something I can respect.

But my appreciation of his loyalty doesn’t distract me for long. “Cody attacked me ,” I say. “Like I told Brad, I was trying to clear my head of that shit he was dredging up. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

He studies my expression. “If you’re telling the truth, that’s fucking worse.” As I twist my face up, he says, “Which sounds worse to you: a psychopath who has his finger on a trigger to a bomb, or someone running around with a bomb, totally unaware of what they have in their hands?”

“Neither sounds like a great option.”

“I’m struggling with the same thing.” He gets right in my face. “If you come for someone, you come for me. Or I will end you. Are we understood?”

Brad grabs his shoulder and pulls him back, though Seth keeps his hands firmly on my jacket.

“Seth, get your goddamn hands off him.” The way Brad says it takes Seth by surprise, and even Brad flinches, like he wasn’t expecting those words to come out so severely. They almost sounded like he’s trying to protect me from Seth, but that can’t be right. Not when he had a knife to my neck last night. Although, he said he was just trying to scare me, and after everything that’s happened, I’m tempted to believe him.

Seth sneers at his friend. “You gonna tell me why you just said that, or should I urge you to tell me?”

“Seth, don’t you fucking dare.”

“I know it’s hard with what’s going on, but try not to think with your dick.” Seth gives me a shove, and Brad tenses up like he’s having to keep from going at his friend.

Given what just happened, maybe I shouldn’t press, but considering how pissed Seth is, I’m too curious not to ask. “So how is he?”

Seth turns away from me. “Only time he stops crying is to sleep. One of us has to be there to make sure he eats. Cody’s been down from using his powers before, but this is worse than normal.”

“But he’ll be okay?” I press, and Brad and Seth exchange a glance.

It reminds me of my conversation with Brad, who, despite his assumptions about me, obviously didn’t have the answers for what’s going on. But they have to know more than me, so I start asking the questions nagging at me since my chat with Brad. “You said you’ve had these powers since freshman year…”

“Yeah,” Brad says. “Seth, me, and Cody would come out here to hang out—”

“Remember when we said the less we tell him, the better?” Seth snaps.

“So something in this old church is how you found out about your powers?” I persist, and Brad nods, which earns a groan from Seth.

“That’s all you need to know about why we can do that,” Brad says. “That better?”

Seth rolls his eyes.

“Now you ,” Brad says. “When was your first experience feeling like you could do something that you shouldn’t have been able to do?”

“That thing with Cody.”

“Bullshit,” Seth says. “I know you did something when I pushed that suggestion on you and you resisted me.”

Pushed? So that’s what they call what he does.

“That first time,” I say, “if I did something, I didn’t know it. And I haven’t done anything since I’ve been in here.”

“I told you: he thought you hypnotized him,” Brad explains.

“And Brad?” Seth asks. “What have you been doing to him?”

“Trust me, if I could stop it, I would.” Now I’m lying. I never experienced anything like what we shared in the woods. Life’s too short and too full of pain. Like hell I’d ever let anyone tear from me something that felt so fucking good.

“The thing with Cody was the first time I realized I’d done something,” I clarify.

“So I guess we can just cut through the Q and A about all the dabbling into magic you’ve done in the past?” Seth asks.

“Outside of books, movies, and TV shows…no.”

Seth’s narrowed gaze suggests he’s not buying it.

“Your turn again,” I tell them. “Brad said you were trying to scare me off. That something terrible would happen if I stayed here.”

“That’s right,” Seth says.

“Tell me what it is.”

“I don’t know that this is a good idea,” Brad says.

“Oh, but I thought we were telling him shit. Why not this too? People will die.” Seth looks me in the eyes. “Good people. Because of you.”

In an instant, all the thoughts racing through my brain cease, and there’s an unsettling quiet in my mind. When I look at Brad, he has his eyes closed, taking a deep breath. A question finally springs to mind. “How could you possibly know that?”

“Cody had a vision,” Seth says. “You are connected to something wicked. Something evil that’s about to be unleashed on Lawrenceville.”

“Unleashed? What? From where?”

They exchange another look, tension thick in the air as neither chimes in to answer my question.

“ That we’re not willing to share,” Seth says.

“Luke.” As Brad says my name, a warm sensation stirs in my chest. “Cody has seen things in the past that have happened.”

“Well, he didn’t know I was gonna resist him the other day, did he? So he doesn’t know everything. I’ve watched enough hack TV shows about psychics to know that he could be misunderstanding whatever he thinks he’s seeing. You guys thought I had some kind of powers, so it’s obvious you barely understand whatever you’re messing around with. I can’t throw away my future because of something you guys think might happen.”

Seth says, “Now you see why we didn’t just approach you, explain the situation, and ask you to please leave St. Lawrence.”

“Luke, if you don’t go,” Brad says, “people will die. And you might too.”

Unlike Seth, Brad is calm, measured, but I can hear the concern in his voice, and it’s clear he believes that’s what’s gonna happen.

As I’m struggling to take it all in, Brad approaches me and rests his hand on my shoulder. I’ve worked up a shit ton of adrenaline since I got here, but his hand pressed against my jacket makes me relax.

“I think you’ve learned enough for now,” he says. “Let’s head back to the dorms. You don’t have to figure everything out tonight.”

I nod. Despite what a prick he’s been to me since I arrived, he’s right. I need time to process everything.

*

Brad and I walk along the path through the woods, back to the dorms, once again with my phone as a flashlight. Seth said he had some things to finish up at the church, but I have a feeling he just doesn’t want to be around the bastard who hurt his friend.

I’m still trying to make sense of our conversation.

Powers? Visions?

What will be unleashed if I stay at St. Lawrence?

Despite everything I’ve experienced, it’s hard for any of it to sink in.

“I guess now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way,” Brad says, “I owe you an apology.”

“For being an asshole to me, or for pulling a knife on me?”

“Yeah, maybe a few apologies.”

“I’ll consider accepting your apology,” is as much as I’m willing to say, but truth is, since they started explaining what the hell’s been going on, I’m discovering there’s more to Brad than some asshole bully. If he and his friends really believe all that, then they had to find a way to scare me off to save people’s lives…and mine too. Those aren’t the actions of assholes.

I wonder if it’s discovering this other side to him, or if it’s being this close to him that activates all these powerful urges in me, but I want him to touch me so I can get another taste of that delicious rush.

I’m about to reach over to him, but I restrain myself.

Don’t make it weird.

We walk in silence for a few more moments before he pulls his hand out of his jacket pocket and reaches over, taking me by the wrist.

We stop, and I turn to him, enjoying the rush that pulses through me, exciting my nerves.

He releases my wrist quickly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Not a big deal. What did you want?”

“I didn’t want anything. I just knew you wanted me to do that.”

“You knew I wanted what?”

“Me to touch you.”

My cheeks warm. I’m tempted to say it’s not true, but my curiosity outweighs my embarrassment. “How did you know?”

“Not sure where it comes from, but it’s like when we messed around at the house party and I sensed you wanted me to blow you.”

That’s right. I did think about wanting him on his knees…and then he did just that.

“Are you reading my mind?”

“Not really.” His gaze drifts off. “Have you ever had a dream where you run into someone you’ve never met in real life, but in the dream, you know all these things about them? Just, are certain of them? It’s like that. Makes me a real good lay.” He sports a cocky grin as his gaze meets mine, looking particularly adorable.

Jesus Christ, after the conversation we had, that’s what’s on my mind?

“A good lay and you know it? Sounds like a dangerous combination.”

“Most people enjoy it.”

My dick shifts in my pants as my thoughts wander.

I imagine him lurching forward and taking my mouth.

Maybe throwing me against a tree and showing me what else he can do with his mouth.

Maybe even with some other parts of his body so I don’t have to think about all the wild shit he and Seth just told me.

His playful expression shifts to concern, and with one hand still on my wrist, he grabs my other arm with his free hand. “Stop,” he warns.

Fuck, he wasn’t kidding about his power.

“Well, touching me certainly isn’t going to make me stop,” I tell him, pulling away, and surely sounding more than a little resentful that he won’t be making my fantasy come true.

“Sorry, yes, you’re right.” He shoves his hands in his jacket pockets, but that’s not where I want them right now. “Speaking of which…I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about me being a sexual predator.”

I cringe at him even bringing up the conversation. “Brad, I’m starting to understand that you aren’t doing this to me the way I thought.”

“Yeah, but I’m sorry for messing around with you at Alpha Alpha Mu’s party. I assumed you wanted it too, which is why I was feeling the way I was, but considering how much weird shit there is around you, and that I can’t even control what I feel, we don’t know what we’re fucking with here. We don’t ever have to bring it up again. And what’s happening between us as far as what my powers are doing, we don’t have to get into details with the guys about it if you’re not comfortable with that.”

Brad Henning is just full of surprises. In such a short span of time, he’s gone from being douche extraordinaire to this thoughtful guy who’s genuinely concerned about me.

“ I’m not sorry about what happened at the party,” I say. He tilts his head, and my cheeks are warm again. “It was pretty epic, actually.”

He chuckles awkwardly. “It was, right?” But his expression turns serious again. “You’re sure you’re straight?”

I take a moment before replying. “Maybe I was too quick to say that. I’ve never done anything with a guy, and when it happened after the Seth thing, I assumed it was something you were doing to me. But maybe, like you mentioned with other guys, I have some bi-curious part you activated when we met.”

“Maybe. I just don’t know that we should fuck around like that again while we don’t know what’s going on.”

My heart sinks. After all that, I’m not gonna be able to even feel that again? Fuck me.

“College is about experimenting, right?” I say as a half-joke.

He studies my expression. “You keep saying shit like that, and you’re gonna make it real hard for me to keep my hands off you.”

“ Shit like that ,” I tease, which makes him smile before stepping closer to me, his gaze on my mouth.

I lick my lips, and he places his hand against my face, running his thumb across the bottom lip. Desire pulses through me, radiating through my body.

He pulls his hand back, leaving my body wanting so much more.

“I’m sorry for how we dumped all this on you tonight, Luke. I know it’s a lot.”

I was enjoying the distraction, but now he’s brought it back to the thing that feels like too much to handle. “That’s an understatement.”

“I know we’re asking a lot, telling you to leave your dream school, but we wouldn’t be doing all this if we didn’t think there was something to Cody’s vision.”

“I can appreciate that. But you see what I’m saying? What if you guys are wrong? I’ve been planning to come to St. Lawrence since I was a kid. This is a big ask.”

He can’t possibly understand how much this means to me. That this is one of the last connections I still have with my dad. But there’s also the fear…what if they’re right? What if my being at St. Lawrence could lead to something horrible happening?

He takes a moment before saying, “Yeah. I know it is.”

I snicker.

“What’s so funny?”

“I like this version of you a lot more than the ass you were being.”

He grimaces. “Can we please forget that other stuff ever happened?”

“Oh, hell no. I fully intend on using this against you as much as possible. As a matter of fact, I think you should have to make it up to me.”

I step closer, until I can feel his breath against my face. My nerves tingle with excitement as I think about how his face would feel against mine.

He gulps, surely sensing what’s on my mind. “I think now would be a good time to get back to the dorms.”

He’s right. With all I need to consider, the last thing I should be thinking about is messing around with him.

But I know that’s not gonna happen.