Lust (Saints & Sinners #1)

Chapter 15

15

LUKE

“Y ou can’t keep doing this,” I say.

Brad messaged me this morning to let me know the guys were meeting at the church again. He didn’t push, but I agreed to meet them. We were gonna have to deal with all the shit that came up on Friday sooner or later.

Once there, Cody took the lead, telling me about their interpretations of the visions, about a monster called the Slasher that the original Sinners discussed, and about their plan.

“Keep doing what?” Seth asks. I don’t know if this guy can talk without sounding like an asshat.

“You clearly had another of your secret club meetings and reached all these conclusions without running any of this by me.”

“We actually know what we’re dealing with here,” Seth says. “You don’t.”

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you don’t know all that much about what’s going on. And as long as you keep having secret meetings, I’m always gonna be in the dark.”

“Luke has a valid point,” Cody says, glaring at Seth. “I understand why you feel that way, but we were trying to give you some space, and we had some insightful discussions that included how we need to involve you more.”

His words set me at ease. Given how pissed I was when I rushed out last time, I hardly expected them to text me to brainstorm about our next steps. But they did ask me here, and at least Brad and Cody sound like they’re trying to involve me in the process.

“That’s fair,” I say. “But I don’t think you guys appreciate how shitty it is to always be the last to know what’s going on, and on top of that, getting curveballs like finding out my dad was in this group and none of you bothered to mention it. It makes me feel like you’re probably not telling me other things that are gonna rear their head and fuck with me later.”

“I get that,” Brad says. “But that’s not how we’re moving forward. You said it yourself: we have to work together if we’re gonna find and kill this thing. And the plan Cody was describing isn’t set in stone. You can interject if you have a better idea or if you think of a way of looking at this that we haven’t considered.”

I’m waiting for Seth to chime in with some asshole remark, but he just stands there, arms folded, silent.

Even though the guys sound much more reasonable than on Friday, it doesn’t change that they kept that secret about my dad from me. It’s the sort of thing that’ll make it hard for me to trust them, but knowing Dad was part of the original Sinners when he went to St. Lawrence is one of the reasons I’m standing here today. As much as these guys may have tried to fuck me over when I first got here, there’s an important connection here, one I have to explore.

“Okay,” I say. “So based on what I described, we have some time to see if we can find this Slasher—if that’s what we have to call it.”

“It’s what the original Sinners called it,” Cody clarifies. “I feel like if I’d been around, we would have come up with more scientific-sounding names. Do you mind if I see the Sinners’ bible?”

I fish into my backpack and retrieve it, handing it over. Cody flips through until he gets to a sketch of…a creature without hands but with elongated, sharp-looking arms.

“This is the Slasher they encountered,” Cody says.

“Doesn’t look like the sketch you showed me of what you saw in your vision.”

“From what Dobbers and your father say in here, they don’t have to manifest in the same form, but from what you described, it works the same as this creature as far as feeding off blood and fear, so even if we’re not spot-on, it seems safe to assume these creatures are similar enough, at least to find and kill.”

“How did they find it?”

“The Guides offered Dobbers a similar vision, which they apparently had an easier time interpreting. I think because he had a better connection to the Guides than I do. Sort of innate, like your ability. It’s the difference between a singer with natural talent and someone with skill. Both in combination are ideal, but separately there are weaknesses. You seem to have a lot of innate talent, but the rest of us have acquired what we have through training. Dobbers was more of a mix.”

Of course it wouldn’t be so easy for us. “Okay…so if we don’t know where it is, what do we know?”

Seth replies, “I did some research on the victims Dobbers and your dad listed. There were four. It looks like it was a month and a half from the first disappearance to the next victims, which confirms our timeline for the attack on the fairgrounds.”

“Taking time because it’s gaining strength from the first victim,” I say.

“And acclimating to a physical body,” Cody adds. “The next three victims were killed on the same night, so it clearly just needs to recover from its first meal.”

With this new information in mind, I go through everything we’ve discussed. “So this thing goes on a killing spree to feed off more blood and fear, which there’ll be plenty of at a frat party.”

“Exactly,” Cody says. “If we’re right, there’s no telling what it’ll be able to do after. Hell, it might kill everyone and have the strength to come and take you right away, like a snowball of energy that can keep going without stopping.”

“Fuck, I hope we’re wrong,” I mutter, then try to refocus on what’s important. “These supposed Guides warned you that it’s after me, possibly because it might be able to use my powers to help it on its killing spree, right? That’s our working assumption?”

“At least we know he’s a good listener,” Seth says.

I ignore him. “So the plan is to meet here every day, you teach me some of these things you’ve learned how to do, and we find this thing and kill it before it has a chance to kill again so it doesn’t become this murder machine?”

“That about sums it up, yes,” Brad says.

“I don’t love the idea of waiting around while this thing is on the loose, but if we’re lucky and the Slasher doesn’t attack again until late November—big if—I guess that raises my next question: how long did it take you guys to figure out how to use your powers?”

“It was different for each of us,” Brad explains. “Cody had a more intuitive sense about it right away. Took me a few weeks. Seth a little longer than that. And then some time to figure out our…specialties.”

I’m curious how that played out, particularly given what his relates to, but I figure now’s not the time to ask.

“But we weren’t like you,” Cody says. “None of us had whatever it is that allows you to tap into the power without having these secrets from the Sinners’ bible, which makes me wonder how quickly you’ll catch on.”

“I wish I were that optimistic, but it’s not like I walk around doing the kinds of things you guys do. It’s simply happened, whether I wanted it to or not.”

“Speaking of powers you don’t understand,” Seth says, “that brings us to the next aspect of all this that we should discuss.”

“Seth,” Brad says, shooting his friend a glare.

“Seth means,” Cody adds, “we think it might help if we knew more about the Lust.”

My cheeks warm. “What did you tell them?” I ask Brad. Did he betray me?

Cody chimes in, “He hasn’t told us anything since he first started experiencing it after you arrived. The whole reason we’re bringing it up now is because Brad doesn’t want to talk about anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

Even though my defenses are up, it’s nice to know Brad hasn’t been sharing such intimate information with his friends. Although, this raises yet another issue. “I don’t know that it’s something I want to talk about.”

Cody nods. “We understand it’s a sensitive subject, but we’re not perving on you guys. We wonder if something about what you’re experiencing might help us understand this connection you share.”

“Not sure connection ’s the right word,” I say. “We just get hard for each other.”

I’m full of shit and I know it because it’s much more than that. Each time I get together with Brad, I see new aspects of him. As abrasive and intimidating as he was initially, I realize that was for show. The real Brad is sensitive and kind. Hell, if he wasn’t here advocating for me, I wonder if Seth and Cody would’ve even been willing to share all these secrets with me.

“It would help to understand what the Lust is doing to each of you,” Cody says. “Maybe by sharing, we can gain some insight into your powers. Like…is it that your specialty is also something sexual, and that since you came here, Brad maybe activated something in you?”

“I can see how that might help, but really, I’d rather keep it private. For now, at least.”

Seth scoffs. “So you want us to bring you into our secrets, but yours are off-limits?”

Before I have a chance to clap back, Brad says, “There’s nothing wrong with Luke setting a healthy boundary. Maybe as we work together and gain your trust, you’ll feel more comfortable sharing. And if not, we’ll work around that.”

Again, just as quickly as Seth put me on defense, Brad sets me at ease.

“Sounds like a plan,” Cody says, and Seth hesitates before nodding, maybe just to keep himself from making another snide jab.

“Okay.” I can work with this as long as they’re willing to include me and not push me to share anything I’m uncomfortable with. “So where do we start?”

Cody grabs his backpack and retrieves a small box. He approaches me and opens it, revealing a necklace like the ones they wear. Picking it up by the chain, he raises it to display the cross. “I made this one for you. Consider it your official invitation into the Sinners.”

“I’m not much of a joiner,” I say, but despite my resistance, the fact that it connects to the original Sinners feels like it’s bringing me closer to the man I lost.

“Then consider it a gift from the Sinners,” Cody says with a warm smile.

Man, I really like this guy a hell of a lot more than Seth.

I reach out, and he places the necklace in the palm of my hand.

“We did a quick spell on it before you arrived to infuse it with energy, but it’ll take time, and you need to keep it on you so that it can become stronger.”

As I grip the necklace, I feel something—I wonder if it’s just in my head because he told me they’d performed a spell on it, or if I’m actually sensing this thing’s power.

My gaze shifts to Brad, who’s watching me. A rush of goose bumps pricks my flesh, but I try to play it off so the guys won’t notice.

“So lesson one,” Brad says. He flips through the pages of the Sinners’ bible, showing me a few diagrams. “This is what we started with. You’re gonna have to bear with some of these being kind of dumb, but it’s better to start small and build your confidence. Think of it like weight training.”

I study how his muscles help him fill out his thermal. “I’m more into running,” I say.

“Right?” he says with a smile. “So like building up to a marathon.”

“We gonna do ‘light as a feather, stiff as a board’?” I tease.

“Sounds like someone’s been watching The Craft ,” Brad says, his smile expanding.

“I started it last night, but it seemed a little close to home for my taste.”

Brad takes my hand and guides me to the pentagram. “Kneel in the center here.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve seen this one before,” I say, shooting Cody a look.

He cringes. “Sorry about that. Again.”

I assume the position, facing the full-length mirror leaning against the wall. Brad gets on his knees behind me.

With him so close, I notice I feel more than just the familiar Lust. He’s the person I’d prefer to guide me through this, since I know him best.

Maybe that’s something they discussed before I showed up, knowing Seth sure as fuck wasn’t gonna be the one to help me.

“Okay,” he says, “now place the necklace around your middle finger and let the cross hang in front of you. Good. Just like that. Imagine it moving in circles. Try not to do it with your hand. Just in your mind.”

Wow. He wasn’t kidding when he said they’d be dumb, but I follow his instructions, and unsurprisingly, in less than thirty seconds, it’s spinning. “You know there’s a word for this, right?”

“Ideomotor effect,” Cody replies.

“It’s something I’m doing to it, not magic, so is this step really helpful?”

Brad snickers. “Okay. You want to jump to the next part? Fine. Give it here.” I hand it to him, and he walks on his knees in front of me, blocking the mirror. Facing me, he assumes the same pose I was in, the necklace dangling from his finger. “ Now do it,” he says.

“What?”

“It’s the same idea, but now instead of doing it on your finger, you need to make it move in circles while it hangs from mine.”

“That’s impossible,” I blurt out. Of course, after everything I’ve seen, I know better, but it was one thing when Seth and Cody were influencing my mind, another to think telekinesis is real.

But the necklace begins spinning, slowly at first, then much more dramatically. I inspect Brad’s hand and arm, both stiff, unmoving. I’m not totally convinced this isn’t just the ideomotor effect again and physics, but then the necklace starts spinning so fast, I can’t even make out the cross. Then it abruptly moves side to side.

“Okay, Seth,” Brad says. “Stop showing off.”

The cross comes to a sudden halt to the side of Brad’s hand, hanging midair, before dropping to its original position, dangling from Brad’s finger.

I turn to Seth, who grips his necklace as he sports a cocky grin. “Just trying to help,” he says.

“Not so impossible now, is it?” Brad asks, quirking a brow.

“I—wait, you guys can levitate shit with your minds?”

Brad’s forehead creases. “We can do little tricks. Mainly because of the energy already in these amulets. On a good day, we can get a pen to roll off a desk, but we can’t like, throw bricks across a room or anything like that.”

Still, even just what he showed me is beyond what should be possible.

But… “Even if I can do this, if you can’t do something bigger, I don’t get what this helps.”

“You have to use your powers,” Seth says. “It’s the only way you become more attuned to them. A lot of this is based on feelings and instincts, and you have to get in touch with those.”

Finally, he says something useful!

“So let’s go again,” Brad says.

I feel like such a fucking moron, on my knees in front of Brad, focusing on a necklace, trying to get it to spin. But after what I saw in my mind and then the missing and certainly dead guy, I know I must take this seriously.

I study the cross.

“Just imagine it moving in a circle,” Brad says. “Spinning and spinning.”

I follow his instructions. It reminds me of being a kid and trying to use the Force like I saw in Star Wars , but like when I was a kid, nothing happens.

“It can take a while,” Cody says. “Don’t be hard on yourself.”

“I mean, it’s not that hard,” Seth adds.

“Keep that up, and I’ll tell him how long it took you,” Brad says, which shuts Seth up.

“Why don’t you let him wear your amulet?” Cody says. “That’s how we got Seth to move his.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Brad removes his necklace and places it around my neck. There’s a warmth to it as it rests against my chest. His warmth.

I close my eyes, enjoying a swirling sensation, as though he placed his finger where the cross rests. A soft gasp escapes my lips as I open my eyes, and Brad’s gaze shifts to my mouth. He smirks, like it pleases him to see my reaction, and when I glance at his crotch, I notice just how much he enjoyed it.

“Focus,” Brad says in a stern voice, but he’s still smirking. “You can touch it if you want.”

I reach for his crotch, and he glares at me. “Not what I meant.”

“Gross,” Seth groans. “You guys have plenty of time to do this outside of training.”

But Brad’s still chuckling, and blushing a little, so fuck what Seth thinks.

I grip Brad’s necklace, imitating the way I’ve seen him hold it. Then I stare at my necklace, dangling from his finger, imagining it spinning the way Seth had it going.

I wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

“Don’t get so tense,” Brad says, and only then I realize my face is all tensed up. “It works better if you’re at ease. You’re not forcing it with your body. That’s what I meant before when I said you have to build up confidence. You’re not accessing anything physical. It’s something deep within you.”

I try again, but still, nothing happens.

“I told you,” Seth spits out, and Brad’s nostrils flare.

“Told him what?” I ask.

Brad sighs. “Nothing. He’s just being a dick.”

I glare at him. “I thought you guys were including me now.”

Brad bites his bottom lip, and I have the urge to lurch forward and kiss him, but I stop myself.

“We hoped because of all the power we’d seen from you already that you’d take to it faster than we did. But if you had done it already, that would have been ridiculously fast. It took Cody days, and that was hours and hours of trying. A few minutes is nothing. Here. Let’s go back to you doing it on your hand. I’ll let you know when you’re moving it, and once you get better at that, we’ll come back to this, okay?”

He’s so patient with me. So attentive.

“And I think it would be better if Luke and I did this alone,” he adds. “It might help Luke relax a little bit.”

“Fine,” Seth says. “I have a group project to work on anyway.”

“Yeah, that works,” Cody says. “Do you mind if I take the Sinners’ bible back? You can totally hang on to it for longer if you want. I just prefer to keep it safe.”

“I would like to look at it some more,” I say. “And I’d like to see what you’ve translated too.”

Cody and Seth eye one another uneasily, and Cody says, “Luke, it’s not that we don’t understand why you’d want to see it.”

“But we can’t just hand over basically all our secrets to someone we barely know.”

I turn to Brad, wondering if he feels the same. “Maybe just not now. But once we’ve all become better acquainted, and everyone’s comfortable, except maybe Seth…”

“Ha…ha…” Seth drags out, sneering.

I can’t really blame them, considering they don’t know me or really understand my connection to the Slasher. But it sucks knowing there’s this connection to my dad I don’t have access to.

“I can pull out some pages that are just about the historical parts—Dobbers writing about your dad. I’ll give you those tomorrow, if that works.”

I feel tears stir—that’s very considerate of him. “That would be nice. Thank you, Cody.”

Cody and I swap information before he and Seth head out. As soon as the door at the top of the stairs closes, Brad sets his hand against my cheek, running his thumb across my bottom lip. My body relaxes as I tilt my head, taking his thumb into my mouth and biting gently.

“You know how hard it was to keep my hands off you that whole time?” he asks, sending a surge of energy coursing through me.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you now,” I say, and he moves quickly, pushing his lips against mine, our tongues colliding as he drags me to the floor so that I’m under him.

“Brad, you’re gonna fuck up the pentagram.”

“I’ll fix it later,” he says before kissing down to my chin, offering a quick bite, then trailing kisses down my neck. “How about we get off real fast before getting back to this?”

A wave of heat overtakes me. “Doesn’t have to be that fast.”

He laughs into my neck before nibbling again.

And if this is part of what these lessons involve, I’m all in.