Lust (Saints & Sinners #1)

Chapter 17

17

LUKE

A searing pain burns like fire within me. I can’t believe what Brad just shared. I cringe when he uses the word dad to describe this bastard. But just as soon as Brad pulled at my heartstrings, now I can’t help but be suspicious. Done something horrible? What has he done?

He doesn’t leave me in suspense, getting right to the point. “After I graduated from high school, I connected with Mom again. And she’s the same woman she’s always been. Loving, caring. She welcomed me back into her life effortlessly, and my dad refused to see me after my ‘betrayal.’ But life has a real fucked-up way of giving you so much only to take something else away because Mom had been diagnosed with MS…multiple sclerosis.”

As if his tragic past wasn’t bad enough.

“You know what that is?”

I nod. “A little.”

“Shaking. Seizures. Terrible, crippling pain. Mom’s progressed quickly. And it’s hard knowing that the person you finally have back in your life is already slipping from your grasp.”

As he says the words, it’s hard to imagine how he could think any of this means something terrible about him. But I’m quiet, wait for him to go on.

“Remember when I told you we each had our reasons for fucking around with our powers from the Rift?”

“Yeah.”

“When we found out about the Sinners, and Cody convinced me this stuff actually worked, I thought I could find a way to use it to help her. A spell or something. Cody has some healing abilities, but we’ve learned those have their limitations. Then a few months after realizing what my own powers were, I discovered that if I visited Mom, her pain and symptoms would be gone for weeks. When she would go to the doctors, they would be shocked by things they saw, like parts of her brain healing that shouldn’t be. It’s not some miracle cure. Only gives her a few weeks of relief before she gets symptoms again, but if I make a quick visit, she’s fine again. It’s not something I can control. It just happens. Either from her being around me or maybe because it’s something I want so deeply, part of me is doing it without consciously being aware of how, like what happens with you.”

I would have expected him to share that with enthusiasm or hope, but his words are filled with dread.

“That’s good, right?” Even as I say it, I fear I know where this is going.

His gaze narrows as he glances at me. “It gave me hope that I could cure her. The Sinners’ bible mentions the Guides who helped them unlock the Rift’s secrets. I thought if we contacted them, maybe they could help my mom. Permanently. The bible mentions evil beings we might encounter in the Rift, and that we’d need to be able to guard against them. I knew we weren’t ready, but I pushed. When we went under, we came across one of those beings. We all felt it. And we had to stop. It lurked near the opening of the Rift. We didn’t expect something would get through, but then Cody started having visions, and we discovered something was going to break into our world and hunt people. That’s why initially we thought you were going to be one of its victims…before we knew about your powers.”

“How could you know that you’re the reason this monster was going to enter our world?”

“It’s hard to explain…but the better you get at this, the more you can feel the Rift, become in sync with it. You can feel when what you’re doing is working with it, honoring its power, and when you’re overstepping. It’s the same as your conscience when you do something right or wrong. You fucking know in your soul. I knew we weren’t ready to go in, but I pushed anyway because I was more concerned with being with my mom who’d been taken from me. I didn’t give a fuck about the consequences. And now a man’s dead. And others may die because of what we’ve done.” He turns away from me. “Don’t you see? I’m a monster. Fucking around with this stuff is why this thing got out, and now we’re paying the price of my sin.”

There it is.

This was why he didn’t want to share his reason for playing with this stuff. Because he feels guilty about what’s gotten out.

“When I left my dad at eighteen, I’d finally started to believe he was wrong about me. Even came to the same school as him with my inheritance from my grandfather to prove him wrong, to show him I could be somebody. But now I’ve just proven that every time he looked at me with scorn and disdain, every time I could see him hating me for reasons I didn’t understand, maybe it was because he could see me for what I really am.”

It’s a chilling confession. “Brad—”

Another tear breaks away from his eye, streaming down a familiar path.

He pushes to his feet. “I should go,” he says, but I grip his hand. “Please, just let me leave, Luke. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

I rise from the bed, keeping my hand tight against his and resting my other on his shoulder. “Brad, please don’t go. Please don’t shut down.”

He refuses to look at me. This is less like the guy I’ve come to know and more like a child trying to avoid his asshole dad’s cruel gaze.

“Please look at me, Brad,” I whisper because I want him to see how I’m really looking at him, without the judgment he fears.

He gulps and takes a breath before his gaze meets mine.

“I don’t know if what you did is the reason for all this, but knowing how painful it is to lose someone you love, if I thought there was a chance to keep my mom or dad around for a minute longer, I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same. Maybe it’s selfish. Maybe it’s wrong. But fuck, we’re only human. Your dad wasn’t right about you. And I can see how fucking wrong he is when I look at you.”

His expression relaxes, and I feel his tension easing as he feels my support.

I move close, until I can feel his breath against my lips. I don’t just want him to see and hear my words, I want him to feel them in his fucking soul.

As I kiss him softly, there’s a vibration in my lips. His tongue slips into my mouth, and he hooks his arm around me, tugging me close as he takes out all his pain on our kiss.

I draw him back onto the bed, our lips parting only long enough so we can get positioned, him lying on top of me, his arms hooked around my neck. His warm tears slip onto my face as we thrust our hard cocks into each other.

I just want to relieve all the tension from that conversation, not just for myself, but for him. I want to help him escape, the way he helped me on the dance floor.

When his lips finally pull away from mine, he kisses down a familiar path to my throat, his tongue and teeth worshipping my flesh.

A powerful desire moves through me. It’s not as painful as it usually is. It feels…inevitable.

“Yes,” he whispers into my neck. “Yes, I’ll fuck you, Luke.”

I roll my head back as his assurance has my nerves on edge, eagerly anticipating this desire that’s plagued me since the seed was first planted weeks ago…since it became not just a fantasy, but an obsession.

His lips travel down my throat, to my chest. He explores my body with his mouth, tongue, and teeth as he makes his way down to my shorts, pulling them back to expose my stiff cock.

He rubs his face against it, teasing the head with his tongue before growling. He pries himself back, rising onto his knees. “These shorts are hot, but right now, they’re pissing me off.” Like the expert fuckboy he is, he tends to my shoes and socks first, tossing them off the bed before grabbing either side of my shorts and pulling them down my legs. Only then do I notice he’s already kicked off his shoes—when the fuck did that happen?

He gets my shorts off, then tosses them aside before removing his socks and sliding his shorts down. After he gets them off, he reaches into a pocket and retrieves two packets.

“Did you know this was gonna happen?” I ask.

A smile plays across his face. It’s like I’ve helped him shake those dark thoughts off, and I see the Brad I was so desperate to get back. Not the guilt-ridden kid, beaten down by his father’s cruelty, but the confident guy I’ve come to know.

“You think I’d let myself get anywhere near you without being prepared?” he asks, and my cheeks warm. “I’ve been carrying around a condom since you first wanted my dick in you. And a little packet of lube I got from the clinic ’cause I’m thoughtful like that.”

I grab the strap of my wings. “We should take these off.”

He shakes his head. “Uh-uh. You’re hotter with them on.”

He wears a cocky smile, and I must admit, I’d rather him keep his on too, so I leave them.

He tosses the condom and lube on the sheets at my side before crawling back over me. He puts his weight on me, his lips returning to mine, our cocks beside each other as we find our way back into our familiar pattern of thrusts.

“Oh, Luke, I’m gonna take so much pleasure being inside you,” he whispers, and the heat in my face intensifies. He nibbles at my jaw before he says, “You mind if I try something?”

“Huh?”

“It involves using my powers.”

I tense up. “I’m not sure that’s smart. Should you be fucking with this stuff?”

“The power around us is here whether we do anything with it or not. It’s not harmful in and of itself, and messing with it won’t affect the Rift. Trying to mess with the Rift itself is what’s dangerous. Does that make sense? Once you get a better grasp of the Rift, you won’t be afraid of it or the Guides. At least, not find them a threat or the cause of any of the shit we’re dealing with.”

Given what he shared earlier, I have a better understanding of why he’s confident that using their powers isn’t what freed this monster, but it’s all so new and strange, it’s hard not to be frightened of it.

He quiets. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” I say, shocked by how quickly I answer him.

He smiles. “You’ll like it.”

“You say it like that, and you can do whatever the fuck you want to me.”

Despite my apprehension, I surrender to him. He slides his hand between us, gripping his cross before kissing my neck again. It’s like that first time he touched me, sensation shooting through me, every nerve in my body electrified as his tongue sweeps across my flesh, and I gasp at the intensity of the sensation pulsing through me in waves. My heart races. My thoughts scramble.

“Holy fuck,” I mutter.

He chuckles. “You like that?”

“You know I did.”

“Of course I know,” he says, crawling down my body and kissing my nipple.

“Ah,” I moan as another surge races through me. I’ve only just adjusted to the first, but now he’s taking me even higher.

He takes his time at my nipple. It feels like pooling energy into me as he runs his free hand across my torso, leaving where he touches swirling with heat.

After working me up, he continues down, trailing kisses, each one sending those same powerful impulses soaring through me. My head rolls against the bed as I call out, “Yes, Brad. Yes, I need it.” Even though it’s what I want, I don’t even feel in control of the words I’m saying. What he’s doing pulls them right from me.

Soon, he’s crouched down, hooking his arms under my legs, positioning me so that my ass is on display for him. After what his mouth has done to the rest of my body, I’m curious what it’ll do there, but he doesn’t leave me in suspense. He offers a lick, his arm around my thigh, his hand still gripping his cross.

It’s a fireworks show, going off and making the pressure swell. I arch my back, enjoying each explosion, as he continues licking and kissing. If it didn’t feel so damn good, I’d be pissed at him right now for not giving it to me sooner, but lost in these sensations, it’s impossible to be anything but appreciative of his skilled tongue as he slides it around my hole.

He relaxes his arm and pulls it back around my thigh, shoving his index finger in his mouth before tracing it along the rim.

“Please put it in, Brad. I can’t take much more. I need to know.”

He doesn’t disappoint me. He slips his finger in, easing his way in so expertly, navigating—

I notice my nipples, my abdomen, my cock, and behind my ears radiate with sensation, much stronger than the rest of me. And then…then the fireworks start again as his finger pushes up against what I can only assume by the explosive waves of sensation is my prostate. I moan as he stimulates it. My eyes are closed, but I know he must still be clutching his necklace because of the heat that overtakes my body, pooling at my face.

The sensations are so intense—they’re bright colors, flashes of blue like lightning, and they tingle at my tongue like a delicious taste. It almost feels overwhelming, so much so that I have to force myself to ease into it.

He must’ve sensed my wish because there’s a subtle pressure before I feel him push another finger in me. Brad seems so abrasive and forceful, but in this moment, he’s tender, the seasoned pro showing me the ropes.

When his second finger hits my prostate too, I gasp in ecstasy as I enjoy another flash of this inner color and taste. My flesh feels alive, each nerve thanking Brad for the pleasure he’s bringing me.

I’m sure he already knows, but I have to tell him, “Please fuck me. I’m ready. I promise I’m ready.”

“I love how hungry you are to have my cock inside you.”

Even his voice is turning me on differently than normal, but unlike the other times when I’ve craved, wished, that he would end my agony of wanting to know, he pulls his fingers out of me. I glance down to see him slide on the condom and tear open the packet of lube. He lubes himself first, then generously applies some to my ass. He needs to be generous with how hard I want him to fuck me.

“Get on your knees,” he orders, reminding me of how much he can read my every sexual wish.

I obey his command, rolling over and getting on my knees, placing my hands on the mattress in front of me. His hand rests on my ass cheek, caressing before he offers a firm grip and a low, rumbling growl. Just hearing his feral desire for me makes me arch my back, my body’s plea for him to take me.

“Is my Straight Boy ready for cock?”

I have to laugh. “Your Straight Boy’s desperate for it.”

I blush, though how is it embarrassing to confess that when he already knows it in his fucking soul?

I feel the wet lube as he lines his cock up with my hole, then a little pressure…sweet, delicious pressure that makes my flesh prick with anticipation. As he eases in, my body welcomes him, and I push my ass back. I know the spot I need him against.

But the pressure mounts too quickly.

“Be patient,” he says, gripping my ass. “I want it too, but you gotta be patient.”

I relax, trusting his expertise as he takes his time, opening me up with that fat cock. Once my body has eased up and I can feel he’s getting close to that spot, I’m too greedy, though, and I force myself back farther until he finally hits.

I close my eyes. I know it’s only in my mind, but I’d swear I see bursts of flashing lights as my body erupts once again in tingling. Even where he’s touching my ass is hypersensitive, somehow making his simple caress that much more intoxicating.

“Fuck,” he moans as his hand slides from my ass, around my waist, to my abs. “How does that feel?”

“You know damn well how it feels.”

He chuckles as he leans down, resting a hand on the bed as he relaxes his chest against my shoulder blades.

“Well, even if I didn’t have the power to tell what you wanted from me, I can tell by how hard your ass is gripping on, like it’s never gonna let me go.” He kisses the back of my neck, then licks. “Tight. Virgin. Straight Boy. Ass. And it’s all mine.” He’s so fucking greedy for me. I love it.

“Yes, it is.” I breathe in and out, adjusting to him as his cock pushes against my prostate, my body reeling in sensation. After a few moments, he must feel my demand for more because he pulls back and offers a subtle thrust.

Then another.

And another.

With each rub against the spot, he gives me more pleasure than it feels like I’ve ever experienced in my goddamn life.

He takes my earlobe between his teeth and tugs gently. “Thank you for letting me be the one,” he whispers, and I can feel his appreciation in another gentle thrust.

I twist my head back and he leans closer, taking my mouth, his tongue sliding between my lips as he grips my abs and continues his subtle movements. I can tell I’m loosening up, which helps him pick up his pace until there’s a frenzy to our movements.

As he thrusts, I push my ass back. Then we pull away together and go again, creating a rhythm. I’m not even sure I’m in control of my movements anymore. Just following the inspiration of my muscles and this desperate craving that has us sweating and panting, speeding up, faster and faster, as that explosive energy seems to build to my chest.

He follows the guidance of my imagination as we change positions several times, showing me how good each angle feels. Helps me explore this part of myself in a dance of eagerness, excitement, and pressure.

I lose the idea of being separate from Brad as we tangle up in our pleasure, fully exploring the experience we’ve been so desperate for.

I’m trying to catch my breath from the workout when he urges me onto my back, pushing back into me. It’s clear how far we’ve come now that he’s able to drill me, each thrust clapping so loudly, it echoes off the goddamn walls.

His sweat drips onto my body. I throw my hands over my head, and his hands clamp down on my wrists, his body pushing against mine, my cock hard against his abs as he continues fucking me.

“I’m so fucking close, Brad,” I warn as his flesh against my cock works me up that much more.

Suddenly, his cock feels different inside me, a smoother sensation against the walls of my ass. I revel in the sensation when Brad stops.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “I think the condom just broke.”

“What?” I ask, barely understanding the words.

He takes his hands off my wrists and starts to pull away, and instinctively, I hook my arms around him. “Brad, no—”

He smirks. “I love that you want me to fuck you so much, but, Luke—”

“We’ve both been tested, and I haven’t had sex with anyone since we started messing around. I told you this ass is yours. Please. I want it.” No, that’s not enough. “I need it.”

I knew how badly I wanted his cock, but I couldn’t have imagined how much I’d crave his cum being inside me until this moment. Now that the opportunity has arrived, the thought of him pulling out of me feels like a cruel abandonment.

“Don’t stop,” I say. “Don’t make me beg.”

“As long as this ass is mine, then this cock is all yours,” he says as his lips return to mine.

He drills me, his submission to my request.

I keep my arms around him as he kisses me some more.

He grips his necklace once again, and I gasp into his mouth as the intense heat overtakes me. I feel as though my body’s radiating pleasure.

It’s the sensation of flesh against flesh.

The Lust that overtakes us.

And whatever the hell he’s doing to me with his necklace.

It’s a wild combination. I’m fucking flying, soaring, eyes sealed shut as I disappear in the sea of sensation, ripples becoming waves of pleasure crashing into me. It’s so powerful, I have to wonder if a person can die from too much pleasure.

But just as I feel like I’m about to explode with it, I know it’s too fucking late for me. I cling to his body as a thrust sends the cum shooting out.

“Good Straight Boy. Here you go. Here it is.”

His body jerks and twists as he bites against my jaw, grunting, and it’s as if I have that knowledge he has of me, this awareness of his release inside me, feeling it fully to the core of my being.

In that moment, as his mouth returns to mine, I kiss him, cherishing every last second of this experience, knowing that just like when we danced, at some point I’ll have to come back to reality. But not yet. Not as long as he keeps kissing me like this.