Marry in Haste (The Vaughns #2)

Chapter 25

S adie’s eyes widened, and she held up a staying hand, quickly twisting in her seat to shut the window tight; Joanna missed the breezes in an instant, but with the buildings all pressed close together, they tended to allow sound to carry into the street. Cheeks heating because she’d overlooked such an obvious issue, she watched as Sadie hurried to the corridor that led to the kitchens, paused, and listened.

Rushing back over, Sadie sat herself in the armchair facing her sister-in-law. “Peggy is busy with dinner preparations, so there is no one to overhear us.”

And drawing in a deep breath, Joanna began her story. Of course, it wasn’t enough to begin with the newspaper announcement, so she started the tale with their first meeting. Though she’d only intended to touch on that part of the history, she found herself speaking more and more of the feelings that had built within her over the years. The words poured out of her, dragging free every detail of their history, and her insides squirmed and fluttered at various parts, her cheeks flushing and her lips wincing as though reliving each moment again.

“Of all the ladies they could’ve used in their prank, they chose me.” Joanna’s voice trembled, though she fought to control it. “I have thought about that a lot over the past few weeks. They selected me—the most comical choice because everyone knew how much I fancied him and how little he fancied me. It was a ‘jest’ that everyone could enjoy together.”

Groaning, she hung her head, burying it in her hands. “All that time, I thought I was being subtle, and they were laughing at me. And, fool that I was, I was easily convinced that Edward suddenly fell head over heels for me.”

Sadie began to speak, stuttering over words that weren’t there. “I don’t know what to say…”

But Joanna shook her head, wiping at her cheeks. “What is there to say? I am in love with a man who married me out of pity and duty.”

“I don’t think he pities you.”

“Perhaps not now, but he did at first. More than pity, in fact.” Casting her thoughts back to their conversations, Joanna groaned anew. “Saint above, Edward told me he didn’t care for my personality.”

Sadie’s eyes widened. “He said that?”

“Essentially,” she said with a sigh—just as Edward’s chiding voice entered her thoughts, sounding exactly as exasperated as it always did when she put words in his mouth. “Or rather that he didn’t enjoy my fretful, nervous self, and I can say without caveat that in all the years I knew him before our marriage, he never saw anything but that. It took me weeks of being married to him before I stopped babbling whenever it grew silent between us.”

Huffing to herself, Joanna sighed. “And the worst is that even knowing his true feelings, I still hold out this ridiculous hope that he will awake one day and be madly in love with me—as if three months of marriage isn’t long enough to settle that matter. No, I continue to throw my heart after him again and again…”

A realization crept from the shadows. Though it had never stepped into the light, it had taken shape in those dark recesses of her mind the moment Mr. Bell’s letter had arrived, growing in strength until it dragged itself into her conscious thought like the sickly, broken thing it was.

How long would she hold out hope for something that would never be?

Edward had never encouraged her foolishness. Never called her by endearments. Never spoken of love. Never shown by deed or action that he viewed her as anything more than a companion. A pleasing companion, to be certain, but not a sweetheart.

And yes, they were building a life together, but anything beyond that was solely her inference. The blame for her broken heart lay at her feet.

“I’ve been a fool,” Joanna whispered, her spine straightening as her eyes drifted away from Sadie to stare into the future that unfolded before her. “All this wasted effort. All this self-inflicted pain. I cannot spend my life pining for someone who will never return my affection.”

“You do not know that for certain—”

Joanna held up her hand to halt Sadie’s objections, and shaking her head, she said, “I need to embrace what I have and stop mourning what I do not. Edward is a wonderful friend, and our life together is everything I dreamt of in so many ways, so why do I insist on complicating matters? It isn’t fair to either of us.”

With each word, it felt as though an invisible weight lifted from her shoulders, and Joanna’s expression brightened. “I don’t want to live my life forever waiting—”

Only the slight rattle of a handle warned the ladies of an intruder before the very person of whom they’d been speaking strode through the door, glancing this way and that.

“Are your guests gone already?” asked Edward.

“I am sitting right here, Brother,” replied Sadie.

But the fellow waved it away. “I meant the other ladies. You aren’t a guest.”

Then, coming over, he set his medical bag on the side table and moved to the free armchair. And stopped. Joanna watched as he considered for a moment before settling onto the sofa beside her, taking her hand in a jerky movement. Staring at him, she wanted to ask what he was doing, but despite having confessed much to Sadie, she wasn’t about to cause a scene.

With a tug, Joanna pulled her hand free of his and folded her arms to protect them from any further incursions before offering a smile instead. If she was going to hold firm to her resolution, she would begin this very moment.

*

“What is the matter?” asked Eddie, frowning at Joanna. He hadn’t meant to prod her about the situation in mixed company (even if it was only his sister), but her behavior was too odd to stifle the natural exclamation.

“She has been worn to pieces,” said Sadie, waving away her brother’s question with a flick of her hand. Rising to her feet, she crossed to where the remnant of their afternoon tea remained. “I would hazard a guess that you didn’t eat a single thing, and you must be famished.”

Pressing a hand to her stomach, Joanna shook her head. “I fear my nerves got the better of me. I was so busy with preparations that I forgot to eat luncheon, but it will take time for my stomach to settle enough for anything to sound appetizing. I am certain I will be ravenous when dinner arrives.”

Eddie frowned. “But you didn’t eat breakfast, either.”

Sending him a rueful smile, Joanna sighed. “I was terrified that if I did I might make myself genuinely ill. Though I’ve eagerly awaited this opportunity, my insides have been in a dither.”

Sadie returned to her seat and nodded. “No doubt you will feel better in a trice now that the afternoon is over. But you should be proud.” Turning to her brother, she added with a broad grin, “Our Joanna was quite the success.”

“That is being generous,” she said with a shake of her head.

“Nonsense. I heard several ladies call it positively delightful.” Turning a triumphant grin on her brother, Sadie added, “And if nothing else, she can count it a great victory because she has convinced me to cut ties with Betsy and Valerie.”

His sister fairly beamed, though there was still a tremble in her voice as she spoke, and Eddie couldn’t help staring as a smile graced his own expression.

“Truly? That is a victory indeed.” Eddie turned his attention to his wife, reaching for her hand again to give it a squeeze. “You have just guaranteed a place of honor amongst our family. Those ladies are harpies of the highest order!”

Joanna tugged her hand free of his, and Eddie frowned as she leaned away, but before he could say anything about it, Sadie stole away his attention.

“You all hated them?” she asked with raised brows.

“How could we? They treated you abominably, Sadie. We tolerated them for your sake, but I know Mother and Father will celebrate when they hear the news.” Turning his gaze back to Joanna, he added with a rascally smile, “You’ve earned my undying love for this.”

Though such bouts of silliness often set Joanna blushing, her empty expression did not alter in the slightest and her eyes didn’t rise to meet his. Meanwhile, Sadie’s frown spoke loudly of their joint displeasure.

“What have I done?” he asked, his eyes darting between the pair.

Brushing at her skirts, Sadie straightened. “I’m afraid the time has gotten away from me. I really should return home.”

Ignoring him entirely, Joanna shot up from the sofa as they discussed future plans whilst drifting to the door. Despite the confusion muddling his thoughts, Eddie couldn’t help but enjoy the sight of their blossoming friendship; having witnessed it sprout over the past few months, his heart swelled as the pair behaved as though they’d known each other for years and not months.

The change wrought in both ladies was quite striking; Joanna didn’t babble incessantly or verbally prostrate herself, and Sadie spoke in the free manner she only ever employed with her family. They made plans and promises, and before the pair parted, Sadie swept Joanna into an embrace. Eddie longed to join in their tender moment. But it was theirs.

“Allow me to escort you out,” said Eddie, leading Sadie out and down the stairs. As she stepped onto the pavement, he winked at her. “Good evening, Sister.”

But rather than a cheeky reply or a familial embrace (as she had granted Joanna), Sadie gave a hum of displeasure and tsked, shaking her head as she turned away.

“What have I done?” he asked.

“Ask your wife. I am not spilling any of her secrets,” she called from over her shoulder.

Staring after her as she drifted down the road, Eddie pulled his brows low. What had he done? Clearly, his sister had joined forces with his wife, which (though pleasing in many regards) was supremely irritating at this moment. Joanna wasn’t forthcoming about such matters, and if Sadie wasn’t going to grant him insights, he was bound to bungle about in the dark until he stumbled upon an answer.

Eddie sighed at this rather beastly day and climbed the stairs to his home. Upon entering, he found Joanna curled up on the sofa, staring out the window as the people passed on the street down below. Joining her there, he sat opposite her—and she set one of the decorative pillows between them.

“What in the blazes is going on, Joanna?” he demanded. “I don’t know what I’ve done to irritate you so, but is there a need to treat me like a leper?”

Rising to her feet, Joanna strode across the parlor, and Eddie huffed.

“Do not run away now—”

Joanna paused and glanced at him from over her shoulder. “I am trying to gather my thoughts.”

Wincing to himself, Eddie didn’t bother apologizing for the misinterpretation; though pacing was commonplace with Joanna, the movement had looked suspect. Besides, he was already being castigated for some unknown offense.

“You’ve been acting strangely for weeks now, and every time I ask you about it, you brush it aside as nothing or a figment of my imagination,” he said with a frown. “If I’ve done something wrong, tell me. I am not clairvoyant.”

Reaching the far side, Joanna turned and paced back to the sofa, repeating the action several times before stopping in front of him. She drew herself upright, gathering her hands before her as she finally met his eye with a lift of her chin.

“You are right. I have been out of sorts,” she said slowly. “And though I have been struggling with whether or not to speak to you about it, I realize there has already been too much miscommunication in this marriage, and if we have any hope of a happy alliance, we’d best start this new chapter on better footing.”

For all that her speech had the hallmarks of one of her babbling moments, Joanna’s words were steady and measured, and though they sent a cold wave through him, she was speaking so baldly that Eddie couldn’t bear to interrupt (lest he sent her into a proper Joanna dither).

But a “new chapter”?

Drawing in a deep breath, Joanna stood before him without an ounce of the trepidation she usually wore tight around her like a cloak, and for a brief moment, Eddie couldn’t help but admire it. Confidence suited her well.

“I need you to stop pretending to be a doting husband, Edward.”