31. Bonnie
31
Bonnie
M y heart hurts. Leaving the villa is the last thing I wanted to do, but how could I say no to my dads? They were so afraid for me; they broke down several times. I’d never seen them like that.
But then I picture Allegra’s face that morning, and how her eyes became frantic at the sight of my parents packing for me. I had a choice. And now I think I made the wrong one. Instead of telling her how I felt, I thought it was better to leave it unsaid, parting as friends, instead of heartbroken lovers who’d only just started getting to know each other.
The logical side of my brain told me at the time, it was for the best. I needed to see if my feelings for her were true and not just the response to a trauma. I could kick my own arse for it, though. Instead of following my heart, I let my head and my dads’ influences take over.
It’s been three weeks since I left and I haven’t heard from Allegra even once. We traded one consolatory kiss at the villa door and then I left. I couldn’t bring myself to text her at the airport or when we arrived home. It was all too much.
My parents have finally gone back to their lives after a heated discussion this morning. They’ve been full-on for weeks, and I got to the end of my tether when they were deciding if I should go back to work or not.
Suffice to say, they were not pleased when I kicked them out of my flat. But it had to be done—for my sanity and for our relationship.
“Morning, sunshine,” Kelley chirps. She’s been managing the bookshop since we returned from Italy. Clive was suspiciously okay with me being away for so long without giving him notice. The brand-new car and watch he’s flashing around gives me a clue as to his behaviour. I’m sure the Ferrantes lined his pockets to keep him quiet and compliant. I won’t complain. It’s given me plenty of time to work through what happened.
A part of me is desperate to know what’s going on over there. I want to know what happened to Giani. Is he still a threat? Is he still alive? What does it all mean for Allegra?
No matter how hard I try, I can’t get her out of my head. I’ve stopped admitting that out loud as to avoid Pete bursting out into song. I love Kylie Minogue, but I can’t hear one more rendition of Can’t Get You Out of My Head .
“Morning, Kel.”
“Happy to be back?” She dumps her bag in the back and walks out with two coffees in a tray. “I brought you a welcome-back latte.”
“Ah, you didn’t have to, but I appreciate it. I’ve had a rough morning.”
“Pops and Dad?”
“Bingo!”
“Wanna talk about it?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I want to talk about anything but that, thanks.”
“Okay. The new Bagman book is out tomorrow. Wanna talk about that?”
The bell jingles above the shop door and Janice prances in. “Oh, you’re back!”
“I am.” This is the last interaction I want to have right now, but Clive still won’t fire her, so I have no choice.
“Are you the boss again?”
“I’m back in my role as store manager.”
“Huh. Great. Well, boss , I need to take the afternoon off. I have a dentist appointment.”
“You’ve had seven this year, Janice. I can’t authorise any more paid time off. I’ll get your shift covered but it will be unpaid leave.”
I’ve had enough of her shit to last a lifetime. If the one thing I take away from my time with Allegra and the Mob, it’s standing up for myself more.
“Clive—”
“Isn’t in charge. Now, I have work to do and so do you. Start by unloading the new releases in the kids’ section. When you’ve done that, you can man the till.”
Janice stalks off with a murderous stare at me. I look at her with boredom until she’s out of eyesight.
Audrey suddenly rounds the corner, beaming. “That was fantastic. Way to stand up to the silly old cow, Bonnie.”
“When did you get here?” We’re not even officially open yet.
“Oh, I nipped in behind Kelley. I wanted to get my hands on the second Loch maybe even glad I dodged a bullet—literally. The old me would have been. That version of me would have rejoiced at getting back to her routine and the safety of the known. Somewhere along the way, though, that version of me vanished and now I don’t know what to do with myself.
I still love reading, but I’m not consumed by it. My thoughts wander to Italy more often than not. The microwave meals don’t hit the spot anymore, either. How could they possibly compare after eating the fine Italian cuisine? Everything is a little duller since coming home.
“Look what I found under the till,” Kelley says, breaking my daydreams. She hands me my copy of Mob’s Seduction . “We never did finish it.”
“I did. Allegra read it with me.”
It’s the first time I’ve spoken her name out loud. Kelley nibbles her lip in discomfort. She’s trying to figure out what to say next.
“I’ll pass over the fact you finished a joint read with someone else. Are you ready to talk about her?”
“What’s to talk about?”
“So, not ready, then.”
“No, I’m serious. We could’ve had something if our lives were compatible. But they weren’t—they aren’t—and now I have to move on.”
The door jingles again. Kelley eyes me but doesn’t comment. She simply heads back to the till and to the customer who just walked in.
“Um, Bonnie, can you come here, please?” The quiver in her voice has me on high alert. My first thought is Giani. What if he’s here? “Now, Bonnie,” she calls.
I rush to the front of the shop, ready to fight, when my legs almost give out. Standing by the door, looking as striking as ever, is Allegra. She gives me a shy smile, and it takes everything in me not to run into her arms. Her eyes wander down to the book I’m still gripping; the book that helped us bond.
“The book with the terrible title,” she says with a smile.
“A-Allegra, hi.”
“Hello, Bonnie. How are you?”
“Um, fine thanks. You?”
Jesus, this is painful and unnecessary. The woman’s been inside me, for crying out loud. There’s no reason we should talk like strangers. And yet, I can’t find it in me to say anything else in case it breaks the spell and she leaves.
“Have you got time to talk? I can come back later.”
“She can talk now,” Kelley interrupts. “It’s good to see you, Al.”
Al? Since when did they become bosom buddies?
“Kelley, I’m at work,” I say for an unknown reason, because I do, in fact, want to talk to her. It’s the only thing I want to do. Sadly, it’s my knee-jerk reaction to do the opposite of what someone tells me to do. I’m a work in progress.
“I’ll come back,” Allegra says, and I don’t miss the hint of disappointment.
“No, wait. I can talk. Come with me.” Turning, I head for the office. Butterflies and all manner of other winged creatures take flight in my stomach as I lead her to the cramped, windowless room.
My palms are sweaty, and I pray I’m not getting upper lip sweat too.
Not very attractive, Bonnie.
“You’re wearing the clothes,” she says quietly.
I fidget for a second. “They’re really nice clothes.”
I cast out all my wool the second I got home.
“You look beautiful.”
My face heats. “What did you want to talk about?”
“May I?” she asks, pointing to the only other rickety chair in the room.
I nod, and she sits. My office chair squeaks embarrassingly as I lower myself into it. Allegra straightens her silk blouse and tucks her hair behind her ears. It’s nice to see her looking more relaxed. I half expected to see the severe bun again.
“I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch. I’ve been rushed off my feet.”
So, she’s still running the family. I don’t know why I expected anything else. It’s her life.
“That’s okay. The phone works both ways.”
“I wanted to tell you why I’ve been busy,” she says. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear about the family business again. “Lorenzo and I have been working to break the Ferrante family away from the Mafiosi—cleanly.”
“O-okay. I don’t know what you mean by that.”
She shuffles forward on her seat. “It means our business is no longer connected to the Mob. We’re free. No more pacts, no more crime.”
“Why? I mean, that’s everything you and Lorenzo have wanted. You were on top, right?”
“And you know I was unhappy. Everything changed when I met you, Bonnie.”
I can’t believe my ears.
“I know you said you’d never marry a mob queen or become a sex slave to one,” she says with a smile, “but would you be open to dating an Italian woman who loves fine wine and fashionable clothes? A woman who hasn’t stopped thinking about you since the day she laid eyes on you in this very store?”
“You want to date me?” I’m aware my voice is higher than normal, and there is nothing I can do to control it, because I am flabbergasted and excited and ready to shout my joy from the rooftops.
“I want to date the hell out of you.”
“What about the vineyard?”
“It’s still going—stronger than ever, but I needed a break. I needed to come here and fight for my chance with you, Bonnie.”
“You want to stay here? In the UK?”
“I’ll stay wherever you want me to. Just say you’ll give us a chance.”
I’m on my feet in a nanosecond. Hell, yeah, I’m giving us a chance. She catches me as I launch myself into her lap. Taking her face in my hands, I kiss her hard. It’s bruising and not exactly romantic, but I’m just happy she’s here and wants me. There is plenty to talk about and I have a million questions, but they can wait.
“Is that a yes?” she mumbles in my mouth.
“A definite yes.”
We’re interrupted by Janice walking in. Her face is a picture of glee. “Wait until Clive—”
“Oh, fuck off , Janice.”
She gapes at me. “Well, I never.”
Standing up, I pull Allegra to her feet and out of the office. “Kelley, I’m taking the rest of the day off. You’re in charge.”
Is leaving professional? Nope. Do I care? Again—nope.
“Bon, we can wait until later,” Allegra says, which makes me cackle like a Disney villain.
“Save your breath, Al. You’re coming home with me. I’ve got three weeks of wasted sexy time to catch up on.”
Allegra doesn’t protest again. Kelley whoops and laughs. We walk down the street holding hands. I say “walk”, but it’s more like a quick march. By the time we reach my apartment, I’m out of breath, but a little wheezing won’t stop me.
The door shuts behind us, and Allegra is on me; her body pinning me to the wall. “I’ve missed you.”
Her tongue invades my mouth. She tastes how I remember, which ignites me even more. “Allegra, don’t make me wait.”
“Patience, princess,” she coos.
“I’m not…” My words die on my tongue as she slips her hand up my skirt and shoves my knickers to one side.
“I might be out of the Mob, but I’m still the boss. Do you understand?”
Pretty sure I just came, to be honest.
“Yes, Donna Malgeri,” I whimper. She growls and enters me. The force and speed have me singing to the ceiling in seconds.
I think back to the conversation I had with Kelley about Riley, the main character from Mob’s Seduction falling in love with Mob Queen Leah, the day I met Allegra. I remember thinking how implausible it sounded. But then I got tossed into my own mafia romance, and here I am absolutely and irrevocably being seduced by a mobster.
I should write a book about it.