Mr. Swoony (The Nest #3)

Chapter 6

Six

Eloise

Conor pays the cab driver, and I climb out onto the dark sidewalk beside Lake Michigan.

“God, it’s beautiful.” I stare at the sky filled with stars above the water. “What a clear night.”

“And you’ve waited how many years to cross this off your list?” He quirks an eyebrow and nods toward the vacant pathway.

I follow him, and he guides us to a park bench. I have no idea what I’m doing here. Why did I agree to come here with him? Strike that, I do know, and it’s not good. It’s not as if I plan to hook up with Conor. I would never do that. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel this… pull to him.

What I can’t figure out is whether this is cold feet. Conor is so different from Tristan and I’m enjoying it. Tristan never would’ve wanted to leave at three in the morning to see the stars. I probably wouldn’t even get him out of his house, let alone get him to take a cab to the lakeshore. It’s more than that though. I’m trying not to notice how Conor listens to me as if he finds my thoughts interesting and can’t wait to hear what else I have to say. Tristan can be dismissive. Half the time I’m not even sure he hears the words coming out of my mouth.

Conor waits for me to sit on the bench before he slides on next to me. His one arm is slung over the back of the bench, and it feels intimate, though I don’t think that’s his intention. I think it’s just Conor and his warm personality—he can’t help but be in close proximity to the person he’s giving his full attention to.

“Do you know any of the constellations?” I lean my head back and stare into the dark sky.

He lowers his arm and does the same, but his pinkie grazes mine, and an electric zing runs up my arm. “Right now, I wish I had paid more attention in school so I could impress you with some facts about astronomy.”

I laugh and turn my head to look at him. The moonlight looks good on Conor, showcasing his strong jawline and sharp nose that looks as though it’s been broken at least once. “I only know the Big Dipper, so I’m useless too.”

“I could probably find an app to help us out.” He turns to face me, and our eyes lock.

I quickly face the sky again to calm the nerves firing through my whole body. “Let’s just enjoy it like this.”

“I agree.”

We sit in silence for a moment. I can’t speak for Conor, but the big sky makes me feel so small. It makes all those decisions about linens and chair covers and flowers feel so foolish and trite. What does any of it matter? It’s one day out of my life, yet it has consumed my entire world for more than a year.

“A shooting star would be pretty awesome right now,” he says.

I think it would be a sign that this feeling of rightness in being here with Conor is legit. That I’m not imagining this sensation creeping up on me as if he was meant to walk into my life tonight.

“I’ve never seen one before,” I say.

“Me either. Maybe you should put it on your list.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

“That’s not really up to me if I see the shooting star though.”

“You just need to go stargazing more.”

“Yeah.” My voice holds longing because I have a terrible feeling that if I ever stargaze again after tonight, I’ll be doing it alone. And if I see a shooting star by myself late one night years from now, will it be just as exciting? Or will I always remember this moment with Conor and wonder what if?

“Make him take you,” he says, interrupting my thoughts.

I don’t respond immediately because I’m unsure how.

“He’s not a bad guy,” I finally murmur.

His hand covers mine. It’s not meant to be sexual or intimate but comforting.

“You don’t have to stick up for your decision to marry him.” His voice is also low, as if he’s afraid to speak too loudly for fear someone will overhear, and tonight is a secret only we share.

“I just don’t want you to leave tonight thinking…”

“That I missed out?”

I suck in a deep breath. “Don’t go there, Conor.” I straighten and lean forward, putting my head in my hands.

“I’m not. But I’d be lying if I told you anything other than the more time I spend with you tonight, the more I wish I had met you first.”

I peek at him out of the corner of my eye. “Why now?” I stand and walk closer to the water.

“Why now what?” he asks, joining me, his shoulder brushing mine.

“Why am I meeting you now? A week before my wedding. I’m not supposed to feel a pull to someone else. I’m in a committed relationship.” My voice wobbles.

“I don’t know.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I don’t believe in love at first sight.”

“Neither do I.”

“We don’t even really know each other,” he says. “Maybe it’s just hormones.”

I turn to face him and stare into his eyes. “Do you believe that? That it’s just a physical attraction?” I can’t tell if I’m hoping he’ll say yes or no. My head is so messed up.

His chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “I am attracted to you.”

“But?”

He sighs, and his vision strays to the water before returning to me. “It’s more.”

I suck in a breath and close my eyes because he’s right, it is. “If I truly loved Tristan, I shouldn’t be open to feeling this way for someone else, right? Especially after one night. That’s crazy.”

“Maybe we’re meant to be best friends.” He shrugs, knowing it’s not the truth. There’s an unexplained chemistry between us that’s impossible to deny.

“I’m not this person. Yeah, I’m sure people always say that, but I’m really not. Most of the time, I do as I’m asked, what I should be doing, and I never rock the boat. I want people to be happy. I shouldn’t be stargazing with a guy I met the night of my bachelorette party.”

“You overthink what you should and shouldn’t do.” He steps away from me. It’s the first time he’s pulled away from me all night, and I don’t like it. “Live life for yourself, Eloise. What do you want?”

I throw my hands in the air. “Is that your way of getting me to cross the line between us? Because I can’t act on whatever this thing is between us.”

He nods. “I know. I do, but fuck…” His head rocks back, and he stares at the sky. “I don’t want to kiss you.” He sounds like he’s saying it more to himself than me, but I react anyway.

“You don’t?” Disappointment shouldn’t be seeping into my bones.

“I wouldn’t be able to do it, knowing you’ll return to him.”

“God, Conor, what are we doing?” I wrap my arms around my chest. “I don’t even know you.”

“I meant what I said. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I don’t want to say good night. I want to talk to you all night and learn more about you, even though it somehow feels like I’ve known you for years. I’ve never felt this before, and I’m trying to navigate these new feelings, but I feel lost in the middle of the woods without a compass.”

I go back to the bench and sit down. “We should walk away now.”

He sits beside me. “We should.”

As I stare at the water, a tear slips down my cheek, but I try to brush it away discreetly. How did I get myself into this situation? Did I rush into my engagement with Tristan?

He stands from the bench and holds out his hand. “Come on. I’m taking you back to the hotel.”

I glance at his hand then up at his eyes. “What about the sunrise?”

“The sunrise is the start of a new day. I’m going to claim tonight as ours. Our secret that only we understand.”

I slide my hand into his and get up.

We walk to the road, and Conor flags down a cab. Both of us climb in. On the way to the hotel, neither of us says anything. There’s nothing really left to say, is there?

Once the cab parks along the curb, we step out, but Conor asks the guy to wait.

“Can I hug you?” he asks, and I nod.

His arms wrap around me, and I greedily suck in his scent.

“I had a great time tonight. You might not believe me, but I do wish you nothing but happiness in your marriage.”

I snuggle into his chest. This was a bad idea, but I couldn’t say no. His strong arms squeeze me tightly, and I inhale the scent of his cologne again, wanting to never forget this moment. He pulls away too quickly, and there are so many things I want to say that I can’t.

He keeps his hands in mine on either side of my hips and stares into my eyes. “Go watch the sunrise with Tristan. Fight for the relationship you want, Eloise. Expect more from him and leave him if he can’t put you first. I’m not saying leave him for me but find someone who will love you how you deserve.”

I nod as a tear slips down my cheek, and he releases my hand, brushing away the tear. “Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” I nod again.

“Thanks for a great night. I’ll never forget it.” The corners of his lips rise, and I commit his cocky smile to memory.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, maybe I’ll see you at a baby shower for Jade and Henry one day.”

“Maybe.”

He releases my hands, and I step away. The hotel doorman opens the door for me. I walk through the doors and look over my shoulder right before turning to the elevators.

Conor stands by the taxi with his hands in his pockets, and I can’t help this dreadful feeling that what happened tonight has been an eye-opener for me, but I have no idea what to do.