Chapter 28
“ I’ve offered Isadore a primamusa position in my conduction at the Samonend fest,” Soren told Adora coolly.
I had tried to move back from him, to put more distance between Soren and myself, so it would look more innocent than it was. It didn't matter that it was innocent; I knew how it appeared to Adora.
But when I moved back, Soren stepped forward, angling his body between Adora and me as if he thought I needed shielding from my own mother.
After he spoke, Adora smirked and stepped inside. She cocked her head and slipped off her leather gloves, then kicked the door shut behind her.
"Now, why would you do something like that, Soren?" she asked, her cold gaze fixed on him.
"Because Isadore and I perform well together, and I know we can create something spectacular," Soren said.
“ No , you came rushing over to get Isadore to commit to you because you need her to be ‘spectacular.’” She sneered as she made quotes in the air with her fingers. “Isadore has other opportunities. Better ones with Herve Chaunter.”
“As the primamusa?” he countered.
Adora faltered for only a moment, then she slipped off her cloak and gave him a pitying smile. “Come now. Even with all your hubris, Soren, you must know that the smallest role in a Herve performance is more prestigious than lead in any of yours.”
“I haven’t agreed to do either conduction,” I interjected, and they both turned to look back at me. “I forced my way through the aerial silks because it was what needed to be done, but that doesn’t change the fact that aerial performance comes with risks I’m not sure I want to take.”
Adora's face quirked because I was repeating her own words back to her. It had initially been her who had forbidden me from trying the silks for that very reason. Although I hadn't even needed to be forbidden since my natural aversion to heights had been enough.
"I am so glad you brought that up because I spoke with Herve as well as Wrenley's parents, Duke Robyn and Duchess Eva, at the christening tonight," Adora explained, her voice all syrup and honey now as she stepped toward me. "They told me all about all the safety measures in place, with the enchanted sand to soften any falls. I'm afraid that in my zeal to protect you, I was very mistaken about the dangers involved with aerials. You have witnessed it for yourself, haven't you, Isadore? Was anyone injured during your time in Lamida? Anyone at all?"
"No," I admitted. "But that doesn't mean performing with Herve is in my best interest."
She scoffed at that. “How can performing with Herve not be in your best interest?”
"Because I don't want to do it," I insisted, using as strong a voice as possible, but she only laughed coldly at me. "Adora, please. Think it through. Herve doesn't like me, and he won't showcase me the way that Soren would. If I am to perform at Samonend, it will not be under Herve's enchantment."
"A bad first impression is easy to remedy," she insisted, closing the distance between us so she could take my hands in hers. She lowered her voice as if Soren wouldn't be able to hear when he was standing nearly right beside me. "You will show him how sweet and beautiful you are and that you are a quick learner. Herve will forgive you for your rudeness and highlight you."
“ Wait .” Soren’s voice suddenly cut through, as hard and sharp as a knife. “You think Izzy was rude to Herve? That she was the one who was ill-mannered?"
Adora inhaled sharply through her teeth and glared at him. “You don’t know anything about what it takes to be a muse in this kingdom.”
“I am an enchanter!” he shot back incredulously.
“ Exactly !” She let go of my hands as she wheeled on him. “You are an enchanter and a man. You don’t know what a young girl has to do to crawl up out of the muck and earn some damned respect!”
“ Young girl ?” Soren’s eyes bounced between us, and I suddenly felt nervous and queasy. “Have you been letting warlocks and enchanters siphon her magik since she was a child?”
Hearing the condemnation and disgust in his voice made me feel so gross and ashamed. Even though none of it had been my idea. I had not chosen to be a muse or attend the lucenations or meet privately afterward with enchanters who only occasionally had me actually perform in conductions.
Adora let out a frustrated groan of anger. "Mr. Tomoleo, I can only envy the life of privilege you have been fortunate enough to live without having to make difficult choices and do unpleasant work. But since you so clearly haven't, I suggest you keep your mouth shut about things you can't possibly understand."
“ Ms . Dellamousa," Soren emphasized his dropping of her title of Lady. "You keep forgetting that I am an enchanter, my sister is an enchantress, my mother was a muse. I know this world better than you because it is all I have ever known. And I am telling you that no decent person of any kind would subject their children to magickal abuse just to get ahead in society."
For a moment, Adora fell silent, and to an inexperienced person, it would be easy to think that her expression – lips pressed tight into a blood-red line, her eyes dark and startingly blank – was one of defeat.
But that would be a mistake.
“Since I have met you, very little about you has interested me at all,” Adora said, glaring up at him with her unblinking gaze. “But tonight, I must admit that there is one thing about you that I am dying to know, Mr. Tomoleo. What exactly is your interest in my daughter?”
“Professional,” he said, meeting her intense stare. “I am an enchanter, and she is my muse.”
“ Your muse?” Adora repeated, and he flinched at the word choice. “Not just a muse. Your muse.”
“You know what I meant,” he replied curtly, but it was too late. Adora smelled blood in the water.
"I'm afraid I know all too well what you meant," she said. "Why did you rush over to my home when you knew that no one else would be here to be alone with my daughter in the night?"
“He’d only been here a few minutes before you arrived,” I interjected, but she never even looked my way. She just held up her hand to silence me, but I pressed on, “We only talked about the conduction.”
“What does the Regula say about romances or physical intimacy between enchanters and their muses?" Adora asked Soren, ignoring me altogether. "What do you suppose the Queen and Herve will think of you using romance to manipulate an impressionable but very talented young muse away from them for your own personal benefit?"
“Adora, that isn’t what happened!” I shouted in protest, and she finally looked over at me.
“Isadore, I am your mother, and I have always done everything I can for you,” she said. “Enchanters can never be trusted, and Soren has become too dangerous for you. He’s trying to hold you back for his selfish desires, and it’s not good for you. You can never work with him on this or anything else.”
“You don’t get to decide where my musing takes me or who I work with. I am a legal adult,” I said.
“I am still your mother and the Lady of the house,” she reminded me.
My work may have earned the money that paid for the small estate and our titles, but I was still underage when it transpired, meaning that legally, Adora owned it all. I had nothing in my name.
The way she looked at me then, I felt so small, and I wanted to crumple and apologize. And maybe I would have if Soren wasn't there giving me the strength just by his presence, and maybe if I hadn't conquered my fear of silks, and if I hadn't spent so much time away from Adora.
But I had.
"Adora, I appreciate your advice and concern," I spoke slowly, choosing my words carefully, as she glared at me with her arms crossed over her chest. "But I am a grown woman, beyond old enough to make choices about my life. I don't know if I want to perform at the Samonend with Soren, but I do know with absolute certainty that I will not be working with Herve Chaunter, not now or ever again."
Her eyes narrowed slightly, and her nostrils flared. "I will not have you throwing away all that we have worked for because you have allowed some half-wit magikian to scramble your brains when he flashes you a nice smile. I taught you so much better than that, Isadore."
“I am not throwing anything away,” I insisted. “I am simply making my own choices.”
“No,” she replied flatly. “You are not allowed to make this choice. You will accept the offer from Herve.”
I shook my head. “You can’t force me to perform.”
There was such a fire in her eyes that I knew she'd have slapped me if Soren weren't there. He must have sensed it, too, because he moved closer to me.
"I will not have this level of disobedience in my house," Adora said through gritted teeth. "You will perform when I say, or you will get out."
“Adora, you are being unreasonable,” I tried.
“Do as I say, or get out,” she reiterated quietly.
“I do have a guest flat,” Soren reminded me.
Suddenly, Adora snarled and shouted, “ Get out !”
There was nothing else said. Adora turned toward the fire, her back to us. I put on my cloak at the door, and Soren grabbed my luggage from where I'd left it near the front door.
The whole situation felt surreal, even in the moment. I’d only been home for a matter of minutes, and my mother had thrown me out.
Soren had parked his carriage around the corner, where the driver waited with the horse. As he loaded up my bags, I pulled my cloak more tightly around me and stared up at the fading sky.
“Where shall I tell the driver you wish to go?” Soren asked, and I snapped back to look at him.
“What?” I asked and already tears of despair welled in my eyes. “You… I thought you offered… I don’t have anywhere…”
“You are more than welcome to stay in my guest house for as long as you’d like,” he hurried to explain. “But I didn’t want to presume anything. I thought you may be more comfortable with Briar or Wrenley.”
“I… I just want to crawl in bed and sleep,” I told him honestly and wiped roughly at my eyes.
"To my house, it is then," Soren said.
After the short carriage ride to his estate, Soren led me through the gardens behind his house, around the pond reflecting the moon. Leaves crunched underneath my feet, and I could see the green glow of his workshop windows.
A staircase ran along the exterior southerly wall of the workshop, leading up to a second-story guest apartment. Soren went ahead of me, still carrying my bags, and he unlocked the door.
He ducked into the room and hurriedly lit the candles hung on wrought-iron sconces using a quick flame that flicked out of his fingertips. A stone fireplace sat along one wall, and he started it to ward off the chill.
As he did that, I took in the room as much as my tired mind would allow.
"Like I said, it's not much," Soren repeated, the way he had twice before on the way over here. "But I've had muses stay here from time to time if they need it, and it serves its purpose."
A pitched roof with exposed wooden beams limited the floor space. A squat, plain dresser sat under one window, and a narrow desk and chair under the other.
The bed was covered in a violet and blue quilt, and the headboard was made of dark wood with arcane symbols carved into it. On the wall behind it, partially covered by the bed, was a mural of an enchanted forest.
“That’s a lovely painting,” I commented.
It was the first thing I had since we’d gotten in the carriage, and it was enough to stop Soren in his tracks. He’d been rushing around, getting things in order – starting the fire, closing the curtains, fluffing the pillow.
He dropped the pillow and looked over at me, then glanced back at the mural.
“Yes, it is lovely,” he agreed. “Another muse painted that when they were staying here.”
I nodded, then sat on the bed because I was exhausted.
“There’s a small washroom there.” He pointed to a door on the other side of the fireplace. “And I’ll leave the backdoor to the main house unlocked so you can use the kitchen whenever you want.”
I nodded again.
"And I'll just be in the house if you need anything." He studied me for a moment. "Do you need anything?"
As he'd been talking, he'd been moving backward, standing halfway out on the landing. He'd already put so much distance between us.
But the one thing I needed, the only thing I really wanted was for him to hold me. Not even in a romantic way or desire for more than that. But I just knew that I would feel better with his arms around me.
I could never ask that of him, not when he'd made it abundantly clear that his interest in me was purely professional, and my mother had brought up the Regula to him. It wouldn't be fair to him to even ask, putting him in a position where he could only decline me.
So I only shook my head. I knew I should thank him. He’d already helped me so much. But I couldn’t seem to form any words just then.
“I’m sure you’re exhausted after the day you’ve had,” Soren said, and it seemed like he was speaking to fill the silence.
There was something in his dark eyes, something like an apology, and he hesitated in the doorway, with his fingers grazing the handle.
“This is your personal space, and I won’t come up here again,” he said. “You can rest and stay as long as you’d like.”
I nodded again, and he left and closed the door behind him. I listened to the sound of his footsteps going down the stairs. I lay back on the bed, pulling the quilt around me, and I began to cry.