Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27
The next morning, Jackson came in from his run while Chloe and I ate breakfast. Chloe walked over to him, wagging her tail so hard her whole bum wagged back and forth.
“I think she likes you,” I said, trying not to look at his corded stomach that I could see through his wet t-shirt.
Jackson walked into the kitchen, filled a glass up with water from the tap and chugged it. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “How are you doing?”
I nodded, embarrassed on so many levels. Confessing to Jackson that Matt had cheated on me. Jackson devastating me with yet another kiss. Matt coming home and demanding we get rid of Chloe. Our fight. Jackson stepping in to protect me. I was confused on a multitude of levels. Whatever weird thing we had going on here, it had to stop. “I'm fine.”
He studied me for a long moment. “Okay.”
I took a deep breath. “What are you doing today?”
“I have an appointment at the hospital for an hour at 11, but after that I'm free.”
I looked his body over. “Is everything okay?” Trying to figure out why he was an outpatient. He visited the hospital three times a week, but physically he seemed perfect.
Green eyes stared back at me. “Fine.”
What kind of treatment could he possibly be doing at the hospital? Physically, he was as close to perfection that anyone could get. Did he have an internal injury? What if he had some disease, like cancer? Would he be able to work out like he did if he was getting treated for cancer?
He spoke again. “Your car isn’t quite ready. What do you need to do?”
“Just some more wedding stuff.”
He turned his head and looked out over the loft. He looked unimpressed.
Of course, he would be unimpressed. I was dragging a navy SEAL around the city to plan a wedding. Any red-blooded male would be unimpressed.
“This stuff I can do myself,” I said quickly. “When my car is fixed.”
His eyes narrowed on my face. “My appointment is only an hour. I'll come pick you up when I'm done.”
“Jackson,” I said softly. “You don’t have to.”
He started to walk out of the kitchen. “See you in a bit.”
We stepped into the bakery that I had made an appointment with to do a cake tasting. A woman stepped forward and introduced herself as Margaret.
“So glad that you and your fiancé could come. I know you said that he was too busy so this is fantastic,” she beamed up at Jackson.
My lips parted, trying to find the words to tell the woman that I had brought a different man other than my fiancé to my cake tasting but before I could find the words, Jackson reached out and shook her hand. He beamed her a smile and said, “Wouldn’t miss it. ”
She had the same reaction any female, not six feet under would have on the receiving end of a Jackson smile. Her mouth parted slightly. She turned a pretty pink, touched her throat and giggled. “That’s so sweet.”
She stared stupidly up at him and his smile.
We waited.
She blushed even harder. “Oh, please come with me.”
She led us to the back room. Jackson looked behind at me and winked. I responded by rolling my eyes at him. I was starting to realize that this man knew what he was doing with the opposite sex.
We both stopped when we came to the table. On five white trays, there was slice after slice of different types of cake all marked with tiny cards. Angel cake, red velvet cake, banana cake, spice cake, vanilla cake, chocolate cake. The list just went on and on.
Jackson whistled under his breath.
Margaret laughed. “We’ve got coffee and water. Lots of forks. And here is a sheet for you to make notes on. Just have fun.”
Margaret promised to return and then we were left standing there.
I picked up the sheet and pencil and looked around. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Process of elimination?”
I smiled. “You know it.”
Thirty minutes later, Jackson was staring at the three pieces of cake left. “It’s between the chocolate ganache, the black forest cake, and the German chocolate cake.”
I shook my head. “I don’t even want cake at the wedding anymore. If I don’t eat another bite of cake in my lifetime, I'm okay.”
He looked at me amused. “You’re a lightweight.”
“You pick.”
He gave me a pointed look. “You’re seriously giving up? ”
“I call it a graceful defeat.”
I watched as he took a tiny bite of the first cake, chewing with a seriousness of a MasterChef judge. “I think the cake is light but maybe the ganache is too sweet.”
I leaned forward, spellbound. “Okay.”
He tried the German chocolate cake. He looked thoughtful. “This is excellent. Dark, rich, moist.”
My eyes were on his lips. He lifted his fork, and I saw his perfect white teeth as he tried the black forest cake. A flashback of those teeth nipping my bottom lip flooded my mind. I struggled to breathe.
“I like this one too,” he mused.
“What do you like about it?” I asked eagerly. Lord, I loved those lips.
His eyes turned and looked directly at me. “I like cherries.”
I swallowed hard. Then I turned bright red. I sputtered, “Yes, the cherry filling is a nice contrast.”
I picked up my water glass and took a few gulps, trying to cool myself off. For a second there I thought he was referencing something other than the filling. I seriously needed to get my mind out of the gutter.
“So which one do you want?”
“Black Forest cake,” I said, bending my head over the sheet.
Jackson opened the door, and a second later, Margaret came waltzing in. She brought us over to stand in front of a table of decorated cakes, talking to us about shapes and tiers and icing design. All I could think of was how close Jackson stood next to me. He leaned in and said into my ear very quietly. “I wasn’t talking about the filling when I said I liked cherries.”
My mouth dropped open. Margaret starting showing us cakes and pictures and discussing sizes and shapes. I couldn’t think. My mind was swirling. Did Jackson just tell me that he liked virgins? I was a virgin! I could feel my face burning hot and red. I couldn’t think.
Margaret asked me a question that didn’t register .
I said, “What do you think Jackson?”
What did he mean he liked cherries? A vision of him laying me down on the bed and deflowering me washed through my mind. My stomach hurt at the thought. It would be terrifying to get naked in front of him. I felt myself flush again.
Margaret was looking at me. Had she just asked me a question? “I agree with Jackson.”
Margaret tilted her head and gave me a quizzical look. Jackson gave a soft snort beside me. They started to talk again, but I wasn’t paying attention.
What was going through his mind? Didn’t he know that comments like that threw me completely for a loop? He might take that joking lightly, but it left me reeling with crazy, awkward thoughts about naked bodies and him doing devastatingly delicious things to my body.
This whole situation was torture. Okay. I was attracted to him, but I was all wrong for him. Not to mention that I was engaged. Engaged! To Matt.
Both Jackson and Margaret were looking at me expectedly.
“You decide Jackson,” I breathed. It’s not like he had propositioned me. I mean, he was just teasing me. And even if someone like Jackson wanted to do something sexy with me, he was all wrong for me. He worked a dangerous job. He was precisely the opposite of the kind of guy I needed to marry. We were incompatible on every level. So why did my heart race every time I had inappropriate thoughts about him?
How could I possibly marry someone like Matt when I didn’t want to be with him like I wanted to be with Jackson?
The traitorous thought blurted into my mind, and I almost stopped breathing. Oh, my God. What was happening to me? I was engaged to Matt. I wobbled on my feet. I was a heartbeat away from having a panic attack. Why was this happening to me?
I feel trapped in my engagement .
Oh, my God. I needed to get control over this situation, or I would ruin everything. My feelings would destroy my future.
Jackson put a huge warm hand on my hip, and he tugged me closer, looking down at me like a loving fiancé would look down at his future bride. “You okay, sweetheart?”
I'm pretty sure my heart didn’t know whether to stop beating entirely or to pound wildly out of my chest. For a brief second, I thought I was going to faint in his arms. The scent of cake overwhelmed my senses. Choking me. I struggled to breathe. I fanned my face. “Just a bit hot.”
He ducked his head, so his face was close to mine. Green eyes looked at me with concern. “Do you need to sit down?”
I wasn’t sure my legs would make it to a chair.
I whispered in complete desperation. “Please get me out of here.”
Jackson put his arm around me and turned me around and started walking me towards the door. “Emily needs some fresh air.”
“Oh, of course,” Margaret’s voice sounded so far away.
With Jackson’s help, I staggered out into the sunshine. He lifted me onto the back tailgate of his truck.
“Put your head down,” he said, holding my arm while I awkwardly dropped my head between my legs.
“Deep breaths,” he encouraged.
I took several deep breaths and then my world started to right itself again. His legs disappeared, and I heard the truck door slam. Then he was pressing a bottle of water into my hands.
“Take a sip.”
I brought my head back up and took several sips of water.
“Sorry,” I said with misery. My eyes burned with tears.
A huge hand touched the back of my neck. He lifted my chin with the other hand and looked at my face.
“Emily,” he said with concern. “What’s going on?”
I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. “Nothing.”
His thumb brushed my tear away. He stared at me with concern.
“Want to talk about it? ”
I shook my head and avoided his eyes.
He sat down on the gate beside me and pulled me against him so my head nestled against the crook of his arm. I shut my eyes and concentrated on breathing.
I loved this man.
My eyes flew open. Oh, my God. I pushed myself off him. It couldn’t be true. That would be just stupidity on my part. I couldn’t love him. That was just insane. It was such a crazy scary thought I felt a need to escape. I scrambled off the back of the truck. “We should go.”
I avoided his eyes. What if he could see my feelings in my gaze? What if he knew how I felt about him? How could this be happening to me?
“Are you sure you are okay?”
I put my hands over my face. “I'm fine.”
“Emily.”
A shudder went through my body at the sound of him saying my name. Really? Had I really gone and fallen in love with the most unattainable man in the world? There was no way someone like him would ever love me back.
Jackson could never find out how I felt. He was so kind to me. So caring and gentle. And I repaid him by falling in love with him? This probably happened to him all the time. Women threw themselves at him. Fell for him. I was just another casualty under his spell. My stomach felt as hard as a rock. I needed to process this.
I spun around. “We should go.”
I heard the sound of his feet hitting the ground and then the slam of the truck gate being shut. “Okay. Let’s go.”