Never Say Never: Gravel Hill Boys Book Two

61. Madison

The tripto the hospital was quite the nerve-racking adventure.

After creeping down the steep, ice-covered driveway in the equivalent of a medically outfitted soup can, Quinn and I were transferred into a regular ambulance where we waited for Ian.

When the doors opened and he stepped inside, I took my first full breath since we’d separated. Watching the worry melt from his face and be replaced by a wobbly smile and wet eyes told me he loved me as much as hearing him say the words.

We were opposites in every way, yet I was head over heels in love with that man.

Ian took the seat up near my head, then leaned over and kissed me like we hadn’t seen each other in months. “You okay? Are you warm enough?” He caressed the baby’s head, which peeked out from under the blankets covering me. “How’s our Little Satsuma?”

I freaking giggled. “Are we going to keep calling her that?”

“’Fraid so. I mean, how can we not?”

The ambulance lurched onto the road, and we headed to the hospital at a crawl. I was glad I couldn’t see outside, since I could only assume the roads were still hazardous. Ian held my hand under the blanket, squeezing each time the ambulance fishtailed. The trip, which should’ve taken twenty to thirty minutes ended up taking over an hour.

Once we arrived at the hospital, I was checked and rechecked while Quinn was swept away to be cleaned, weighed and measured, and examined by a pediatrician. Ian went along with her because the thought of being away from her had me in a panic. At least her daddy was with her.

Her daddy. And I was her mommy. Fresh tears formed.

With the passing of just a few hours, I’d become another person. I was already a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a highly educated businesswoman, a girlfriend—I think—and now, a mother.

Mother. Mommy. Ma. No, not ma. But the other two, yes, definitely.

I lay in my hospital bed. Freshly showered. Wearing my own pajamas. Clean sheets. Private room. The dark night fading into day outside my window. And I panicked.

I didn’t know how to be a mother. I had one, and I loved her, but I didn’t want to mother the way she had. The best I could do was nanny, as that was the closest thing to being a mother I’d ever known. My child deserved more than that. I rubbed at the sudden ache in my chest. I should’ve read more books instead of watching hours of reality TV.

Ian read books. Dozens of them. Ian was going to be a wonderful father. He planned ahead. He outfitted a nursery. Hell, he was building our baby a house. With a yard where she could play. The tears overflowed. He even got her a dog—a great dog.

I’d even become a dog lover. That was easy.

But a mother?

I let loose a sob just as Ian walked in carrying Quinn, a beautiful smile on his face, followed by a nurse pushing a bassinet.

“Here we are, mommy. All cleaned up and swaddled like a cute little burrito.”

There was no holding back. I lost it. Ian gaped. The nurse parked the bassinet next to the bed and looking concerned, immediately began to question me.

I waved her off, insisting I was fine. She tucked the call button next to my head on the raised bed and assured me that I’d been through a lot in the past few hours; not only giving birth but with the added stress of delivering at home and then having to travel in dangerous conditions to get to the hospital. I sucked in air and nodded, unable to verbalize, especially to a stranger.

She gave Ian what looked like a warning glance, and then left, telling me to call her for anything.

Looking fearful, Ian sat on the edge of the bed, still holding Quinn in his arms. “What’s wrong?”

I opened my mouth to say “nothing,” but all my fears came tumbling out instead.

“I can’t do this,” I cried. “I’m going to be the worst mother. I don’t know what mothers are supposed to do. Mine was always too busy. Even when she was home, she wasn’t really around. And my father? Forget about it. I was like one of his possessions. It’s been years since he’s shown any real interest,” I sobbed, gulping for air. “All I ever really had was my Gibby, who indulged me, and a nanny, who was paid to love me.”

“Stop,” Ian said gently. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother. Your experiences—even the negative ones—have taught you the right way to mother this child. You’ll know from the very depth of your soul how to show your love. The mechanics of parenting can be learned. The love part? Oh darlin’, you’ve got this. I’m scared too. Our fears are natural. It proves how much we already love her. We want the best for her, and we’re going to see that she gets it. We’ll learn as we go along. You and me, we had different experiences growing up, good and bad, and we’re going to put them to good use.”

He settled Quinn in my arms and climbed into the bed, his long body snug against me, and stroked my hair as my sobs quieted, and I cradled my sleeping angel against my breasts.

“We got this, darlin’.” He kissed my temple and rested his head on the pillow beside me, his arm curled under mine, and together, we held our little girl.

“Knock, knock.”

I stirred at the light tapping and the soft voice. My eyes opened. Sunlight poured through the windows. The storm had stopped.

“Hey, y’all. Can we come in?”

Siobhan and Danny stood in the doorway, peeking into the room, waiting permission to enter.

I blinked the sleep from my eyes and tried to sit up. “Of course.”

Quinn was no longer in my arms. I began to panic until I saw her asleep in the bassinet beside the bed. Ian was still curled alongside me, snoring softly. He deserved to sleep for a week after all he’d done for us over the past twenty-four hours.

I expected Ian’s parents to make a beeline for the baby, but instead, they came to me and Ian first. Siobhan leaned over the bed, squeezed my arm and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Congratulations, sweetheart. What a story y’all are gonna have to tell after last night.” Her laugh was light and musical. “We’re so proud of y’all.” She placed a gentle kiss on Ian’s cheek. He stirred and his eyes slowly opened. He looked confused, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“There he is,” Siobhan said, her voice breaking. “Congratulations, Daddy.”

Ian’s dad was next. Siobhan sidled up to the bassinet as Danny kissed my cheek and shook Ian’s hand. “Congratulations. What a night, huh?”

Ian sat up and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll say. I’m guessin’ the roads are better.”

“Temperature is rising,” Danny said, “and other than a little slush, the rain’s washed most of it away.”

“That’s good. I’ve never seen anything like that before. Crazy.” Ian climbed off the bed and went to the bassinet. Lifting the baby, he said, “Ma, Pop, meet your granddaughter, Satsuma Donohue.”

“What?” His mother gaped at him and then me. When I burst out laughing, she slapped Ian on the arm. “You’re not funny,” she said.

“Oh, c’mon now, I’m hilarious,” he teased. “But since you’re no fun, this here’s Quinn Elizabeth Donohue.”

“Quinn. That’s a beautiful name,” Ian’s mother pronounced. “Can I hold her?”

“Go sit,” Ian insisted, “and then you can hold her.”

Siobhan rolled her eyes. “You act like I’ve never held a baby before, but fine, I’ll sit. Good lord.” She dropped into the cushy recliner in the corner of the room and held out her arms, her fingers wiggling. Quinn was waking up and starting to fuss. She’d need to be fed soon. My first thoughts were that I couldn’t do it, but I remembered Ian’s words. Besides, it was natural and there were nurses here to instruct and help if I messed up.

“She’s gonna need to nurse soon,” Ian announced, already on top of things.

“We’re not gonna stay long,” Danny said. “We just wanted to get a quick peek and tell you both how happy we are.” His eyes filled as he gazed at his son. “Sweet Jesus, boy. You delivered your own baby. Damn, I’m so proud of you.” He wrapped his arms around Ian and slapped his shoulders. Pulling back, he swiped his eyes. “What a tale you’ll have to tell.”

“There might be a song in there somewhere,” Ian’s mother teased.

“Could be.” Ian grinned at me. “Scariest and best night of my life.”

I blinked back my own tears, wondering how my parents would react. Would there be tears and hugs? Would they be proud? Would they drop whatever they’re doing and come visit us here in the hospital? Would they even come to West Virginia?

I rubbed my breastbone where it had begun to ache, believing deep down that I already knew the answers to my questions.

Ian’s father took his turn at holding the baby, but when she got fussy, he handed her back to Ian.

“I’ve got to get back to the post office,” he said, “but we just wanted to meet our new grandbaby before we did anything else this morning.” He came to my bedside and leaned over. “Thank you,” he said, his eyes brimming. “What a blessing you’ve given us.”

As for me, I couldn’t hold back the tears. They spilled over and I didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

“Get some rest there, little mama.” Then he kissed the top of my head and stepped back, making room for Ian’s mother to wrap her arms around me.

“Sleep when she sleeps, okay? That’s the most important piece of advice I can give you.” She brushed my hair away from my face. “What can I bring you for supper? I’d been planning to whip up some chili tonight, but you don’t want to be gassy if you’re breastfeeding.”

“You don’t have to bring me food. Ian filled out the meal request for me already.”

Ian’s father laughed. “Don’t bother. Food here’s terrible. I was in for a hernia last year. Trust me, just let Siobhan feed you. Especially since you got that refined palate and all.”

Well, that’s not embarrassing.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“Nonsense,” Siobhan insisted. “As if you could ever be trouble. How about I whip y’all up a batch of chicken stew? I’m gonna make an apple cake later, so I’ll bring along some of that later this afternoon. Or maybe I’ll just send it over with one of your sisters. I’m sure they’ll be clamoring to get here at some point today.”

Siobhan slipped her coat on. “When are your folks comin’? If you give me their number, I’ll just call and invite them to stay with us.”

Ian had said he’d be making all the calls, but thanks to my meltdown and then falling asleep, we’d never discussed if he’d reached Tatty, Daddy, or Gibby.

Poor Ian looked uncomfortable, and I immediately felt my cheeks heating up. Before he could speak, I jumped in. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. They’re all out of the country, so it will probably be a day or two before they can get here. They’ll probably fly in for the day and then return to Gladwyne.”

“Fly in for the day?” Siobhan questioned. “Well, that makes no sense. They should stay for a few days. I wouldn’t mind welcoming them at all. It would give us a chance to get to know one another. We’re family now.”

I glanced at Ian for help, although I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to do.

“Thanks, Ma. We’ll let them know, but like Madison said, her parents are out of the country. In Paris.”

She smiled. “Fancy.”

“That’s where our company headquarters are.”

Siobhan looked confused. “I thought you had your own business…in Philadelphia.”

“I do. I meant the family business. My grandmother is the CEO but she’s been stepping back over the past few years. My father is the COO for now.”

“Does your mother work for the company too?”

“No, she doesn’t like to?—”

“Her mother is Tatiana Peillard, the supermodel.”

Siobhan’s mouth dropped. Ian’s father said, “Well, damn.”

I didn’t know if that was good or bad. There was a reason I didn’t tell people who my mother was. Not that I had a problem with the Donohues knowing, but it was uncomfortable seeing people’s reactions. They both turned to look at me, eyes wide, searching for a resemblance.

Danny scratched his chin and spoke to Ian. “Didn’t you have a picture of?—”

Siobhan’s hand thwacked him in the chest, and since I already knew what he’d been about to say, I laughed. I also prayed that his father was unaware of the magazine under the mattress. Danny mumbled a quick apology.

“Don’t worry about it. I know Ian was a fan.”

“Well…” Ian’s mother said, trying to compose herself. “They’re welcome anytime. We’d love to meet them, sweetheart.” She gave Ian a quick squeeze, nuzzled our fussy baby, and tugged on her husband’s arm. “Now remember. I’ll be sending that chicken stew and apple cake for y’all later today. Give me a call if you need anything else.”

When they were gone, Ian just shook his head and smiled. “Those are two happy grandparents.”

“Happy and a little stunned about my mother.”

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it. I’m a handful, remember?”

“You sure are. Now give me that baby so I can try and nurse her.”

I scooted over in the bed. Ian settled Quinn in my arms and placed a pillow under them so that she could rest there while she nursed. He then climbed in alongside me and rested his head against mine.

“Mads,” he said softly, lightly tracing a long finger over the shell of Quinn’s ear. “I want you to know that I have never been as happy as I am in this moment.”

I cocked my head to look up at him. “Never? Not when you played your first arena or won your first Grammy?”

“Nope. Those things don’t come close to this—holding you, watching you nurse our baby. I’d give all that up for more moments like this.”

My heart flitted around inside my chest like it had been captured by a thousand hummingbirds. “Ian…” I sighed.

“I love you, Madison Enright.” He pressed his face against the side of my head. I felt his cool wet tears. Mine spilled over in response.

I breathed in deep and exhaled all the worries that had been creeping up on me.

“Same, Ian Donohue. Same.”