Never Say Never: Gravel Hill Boys Book Two

62. Ian

Madison’s roomhad operated like a revolving door all afternoon as half of Ashwood stopped in to congratulate us and get a peek at the baby. I’d had so many slaps on the back I was certain the bones in my shoulder had been dislocated.

After Brooklynn, Macie, and Sarah Jane stopped in, arms laden with gifts for Madison and Quinn, as if they hadn’t showered them with presents over the weekend, I hitched a ride home to shower and change, and then grab my car so I could bring back everything Maddie needed for herself and the baby.

The automatic doors to the lobby slid open and I entered carry the nursing pillow Madison had asked for; the Baby Dior diaper bag Liane had bought her—yep, designer diaper bags, who knew; a small suitcase with another pair of pajamas, nursing bras and panties, and her makeup bag; as well as an outfit and blanket for Quinn to go home in that Ma had washed in special baby detergent. Again, who knew babies had to have special detergent. And here I thought I knew everything I needed to know.

I also packed an overnight bag for myself since I was able to spend the night at the hospital with her and the baby. I’d have to sleep in the recliner, but as long as I could be close to my girls, I’d sleep on the floor if I had to.

Instead of making two trips, I juggled everything, grateful to find a rolling cart near the gift shop that I’d seen being used earlier for flower delivery. It was nearing five o’clock, so most of the shops that delivered to the hospital would likely be closing. I figured nobody would mind if I borrowed the cart.

As I unloaded everything in my arms onto the cart, I caught a glimpse of a floral arrangement in the window of the gift shop. It had pink roses, carnations, and succulents. The band had sent an enormous bouquet of pink roses, courtesy of our manager, and my sisters had each brought smaller arrangements, but I hadn’t given Maddie or my daughter anything.

Not a good start, dickhead.

I entered the gift shop, grabbed the rose and succulent bouquet, and slapped down my black Amex card. By the time I walked out twenty minutes later, there wasn’t a pink stuffie or flower left in the shop. Of course that required the use of additional carts, but my girls deserved the world.

What good was all my money if I didn’t spend it on the people I loved?

Since we could only fit three carts into the elevator at one time, I had to wait on the second floor for the gift shop manager to bring me the last two carts. Were five carts filled with stuffies, flowers, and pink chocolate-covered strawberries overkill? Ask me if I cared.

I rolled my carts up the hall to Madison’s room and left them outside the door while I went to retrieve the other two carts. Then I set about arranging everything how I wanted to present it. I’d do food, like the strawberries, fruit basket, and boxed chocolates on one cart. All the flowers would go on the other two carts. The stuffies, books, and other toys I’d grabbed would go on the fourth cart, and the luggage and personal items on the fifth cart.

Glancing over my loot, I remembered that Madison and the baby would likely be released tomorrow, which meant I would be hauling everything back out again, but I didn’t care. If I was going to give them the world, I had to get started.

I was about to enter the room when I heard Madison’s voice.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve called myself, but everything happened in a hurry. We didn’t even make it to the hospital. Quinn was born at home. There was an ice storm and we couldn’t get out and no one could get to us. Ian delivered her.”

“Who is Ian?” Whoever was on the other end of the call spoke like some tight-ass who didn’t bother to move his jaw when speaking.

“Ian is the baby’s father, Daddy. I’ve told you that.”

Daddy, huh? So the guy who’d essentially been MIA the past nine months.

“This would’ve never happened if you’d stayed with Connor,” he insisted.

I hesitated outside Madison’s room, not wanting to eavesdrop but unable to walk away.

“You’re right,” she answered. “It wouldn’t have happened because Connor had stopped sleeping with me months before we broke up because he was dating someone else.”

Atta girl.

A woman spoke up next. “Madison? Ma chérie, c’est toi?”

“Tatty?”

“My sweet girl. How are you? How are you feeling?”

“I’m good. You’re with Daddy?”

“Yes, of course, my darling. We’re coming home to see you?”

“I’m in West Virginia.”

“What is West Virginia?”

Maddie snickered, but I rolled my eyes. “It’s a state.”

“I don’t know,” Tatiana Peillard said. “Talk to your father.” I heard mumbling, and then Tatiana said “Why are you worried? She’s at an estate.”

More mumbling and then, “Good grief, Tatty. She’s not at an estate. She’s… Never mind, finish your drink. We’re leaving in five minutes, with or without you,” he said. The guy sounded like a real asshole.

“Madison? Are you still there?”

“Yes.”

“Listen, darling, we’re leaving soon and flying from Orly to the airport just north of Philadelphia. You know the one. The helicopter will be waiting for us, and from there we’ll fly straight to the hospital to pick you up.”

My heart, which had begun to beat erratically, slammed into my ribcage so hard it might’ve cracked a rib.

“But don’t you want?—”

“Madison, there’s no time for this right now. We have a long flight ahead of us and Henri is waiting to take us to the airport.”

“Yes, but?—”

“Sweetheart, your mother has already taken her first two Xanax. If we don’t leave soon, Henri will have to carry her onto the plane as if she were luggage.”

The man would have the chauffeur carry his wife instead of carrying her himself?

Quinn’s fussing grew louder. “It’s jus?—”

“Madison. You created this mess. All we’re trying to do is get there so that we can fix it. Promise me you won’t make any statements to the press or any announcements about the birth. Once we get back to Gladwyne, we’ll get photos of you and the baby to release with the announcement. It’s bad enough that the father is in some hillbilly band. It just wouldn’t do to have people thinking you gave birth in some backwoods cabin in West Virginia, of all places, like some kind of hippie.”

She laughed, and it hurt.

“Besides, your grandmother is en route from Italy and should be home waiting for you by the time we arrive.”

Quinn’s fussing turned to cries. I wanted to barge in, hang up the damn phone, and see what my daughter needed, but my feet were cemented to the industrial floor tile in the corridor.

“That’s wonderful, Daddy, but serious?—”

“My assistant has already booked Andrea Bellston for the photoshoot, and our PR department will handle the announcement.”

“I own a public relations firm, remember? Besides, Liane already gave us a photo?—”

“Madison, please. I really don’t need this right now. Let me do what I do best. There’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about,” he said, patronizing her. “Everything is under control. Your mother is waiting. We’ll see you tomorrow. Just make sure you’re ready to go.”

Quinn’s cries grew loud and frantic. I knew exactly how she felt.

“Fine. Whatever,” Madison said. My heart plummeted. “I’ll see you then.”

I slumped against the wall. How could I have been so wrong? She was leaving and taking my baby. Then again, despite earning nearly five million a year, I was just a musician in some hillbilly band. Not good enough for an American princess and heiress of some French luxury brand empire.

“Fuck that.”

Leaving the carts lined up in the hallway, I headed for the elevator. I pushed the button, but when the doors opened, I couldn’t step on. My heart had just been shredded, but there was a very large part of it that belonged to that infant. Walking away right now I’d be walking away from her too. So instead, I took a walk around the ward. Stopped by the nursery and looked at the babies, swaddled in their bassinets. There were only three, and I wondered what their stories were.

I folded my arms across my chest. A tear tracked down my cheek, and I held myself tight.

One overheard phone call, and my world had fallen apart.

A pretty nurse came up and stood beside me. “Your baby’s not in there, Mr. Donohue. She’s with her mama.”

I swiped at my eyes and tried to smile. “I know. Just thinking. Thanks,” I muttered and walked away. My baby’s with her mama. My baby. I had every right to see her. First thing tomorrow I’d call my attorney and have him work up a custody arrangement. I wanted shared custody. I wouldn’t be a weekend father. I never wanted that, and I wouldn’t accept it. I might not have Enright family money, but I had more than enough to put up a good fight.

The carts were still lined up in the hallway. Quinn was still crying, and the sound tore at what was left of my heart. I needed to man up, hold my daughter, and hear what Madison had to say to me.

I wheeled in the first cart, the one filled with fruits and chocolates and began unloading it on the ledge near the window. Naturally, I hadn’t been thinking clearly when I’d bought all of this because there wouldn’t be enough room to unload it all.

“Oh my God,” Madison whined when I entered. “She doesn’t want to nurse, and she just keeps crying.

“Probably because she heard you’re about to cut me out of her life,” I mumbled.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”

I turned and forced a smile that I’d bet anything didn’t look like a smile. “Can I hold her?”

Why am I asking permission?She’s my kid. I can hold her whenever I want.

“Of course. Maybe you can get her to stop crying.”

Trying to avoid touching Madison, I reached for Quinn and cradled her in my arms. I rocked and bounced. Found the pacifier the nurses had left on Madison’s tray table and offered it to her. The cries slowed as she sucked, only rising when the pacifier would pop out of her mouth. I held it in place until she calmed. As tiny as she was, I could feel her little body relax. I kissed the top of her head. Reddish-blonde peach fuzz. Her eyes were blue, but I knew they could change. They might be green like mine or light blue like her mother’s. Her skin was like cream and her cheeks were soft and pink like the roses waiting outside the room.

Once she’d calmed, I held her cradled against my chest while I wheeled in the second cart and one-handed, unloaded all of the floral arrangements I’d purchased.

“Ian? What did you do?” Madison smiled, but it looked forced. I didn’t answer. I couldn’t. If I opened my mouth right now, I wasn’t sure what might come out. Instead of answering, I shrugged.

By the time I finished bringing in and unloading the rest of the carts, Madison had drifted off to sleep. I left my overnight bag in the door just inside her room and carried Quinn back to the nursery. There were several unoccupied rocking chairs. I made a beeline for the one furthest from the action going on inside the nursery, but before I sat, I gently placed Quinn in a vacant bassinet and pulled off my shirt and T-shirt. Ignoring the wide eyes and ogling of the nursing staff, I unswaddled my daughter, and brought her close to my chest so that we were skin-to-skin. I sat and rocked. Shutting out the noise and distractions.

Someone came near and dimmed the overhead light. I didn’t bother to look up; I just nodded my acknowledgement. Facing a limited amount of time to spend with my daughter before she was taken away from me, I didn’t have the bandwidth for people right now.

We rocked in silence. Quinn blinked up at me, her dark blue eyes unseeing, even though it felt as if we were connecting on a deeper level. Her tiny hand gripped mine. It was a reflex, but deep down I knew she was holding onto me as tight as I was holding onto her.

“Your mama and her folks are gonna take you away soon, but they just wanna get to know you. I mean, who can blame them? I won’t be far behind, okay? You’ll be living in some pretty fancy digs in the big city for a while, and I promise, I’ll be there to see you every single day. I made you a real special room at your mama’s place. I think you’re gonna love it.”

She blinked slowly, but her eyes stayed fixed on mine and her grip on my finger never loosened.

“And then, when you’re a little bigger, I’m gonna bring you back here to West Virginia so you can run and play outside with me and Finn.” A fat tear fell onto her forehead and she jumped. I kissed it away. “Sorry, Satsuma,” I whispered. “But this is hard. I don’t want to say goodbye, not even for a little while. You gotta know that if I had my way, you and me and your mama would all live together, but she and I? We come from two different worlds. It doesn’t matter to me but looks like it matters to her.”

I sat and rocked my daughter, holding her against my bare chest until she fell asleep, then carried her back to Madison’s room. She was still asleep. I couldn’t wake her. I didn’t want to hear her tell me she was leaving. I didn’t want to talk about custody or visitation. She may have broken my heart, but I loved her, and I didn’t want to say anything tonight when I felt this raw. This vulnerable.

I kissed my sleeping baby’s forehead, her tiny nose, and set her back into the bassinet alongside Madison’s bed. Then I slipped back into my T-shirt, buttoned up my shirt, and took one last look at my daughter. I turned to leave but couldn’t force my feet to move without one more look at the beautiful woman who’d given me the greatest gift of my life. And even though she’d ran my heart through a meatgrinder, I bent over the rails of her bed and placed the gentlest kiss on her sleeping lips.

“I hope you’ll always know how much I loved you.” Then without looking back, I grabbed my bag and left that room.

By this time tomorrow, they’d be long gone.

Me? I desperately needed my boys, but they were halfway across the country right now. I’d just have to settle for Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. I climbed into my sturdy, responsible SUV—the one I’d traded my Ferrari for—and drove straight to Roosters.

By this time tomorrow, I planned to be too drunk to care.