Never Will I Ever

Twenty-Four

Avery

Week Six

With the second half of our time at camp in full swing now, apparently it’s time for a staff review with Colin. According to Kaleb, he does this every year: pulls in all the counselors one by one, regardless of how long they’ve worked here, for a “check-in” before heading into the final three weeks.

“Check-in,” I echo, staring at him from across the dining table.

Kaleb smirks. “Stop worrying, it’s gonna go fine.”

I glance to where his brothers are sitting, close enough to hear despite them conversing themselves, and lower my voice to a level only for Kaleb’s ears.

“For you, maybe. You’re the camp golden boy. Meanwhile, I’m the idiot who still can’t manage to bait a hook without wanting to puke.”

To his credit, Kaleb does his best not to laugh at my dramatics. He even manages to hold it in for a solid three seconds before he fails miserably, but I appreciate the effort regardless.

Of course, it does absolutely nothing to assuage my anxiety.

“You’re no fucking help,” I mutter under my breath.

“No swearing,” Dayton, who is sitting directly beside Kaleb, chimes in between mouthfuls of eggs.

Ah, so they are listening.

Eyes still locked on me, Kaleb arches a brow. “I’m gonna say it again: You’ll be fine.”

“If that’s true, why do I feel like I’m about to face the firing squad?” I ask as I rise from the bench. Then I raise my hand to my forehead and give him a mock salute.

Amusement gleams in his eyes while he watches me.

“Don’t worry. If I’m wrong and you get fired, I’m sure you have a future on Broadway. Your theatrics would be put to good use there.”

I roll my eyes. “Like I said. No fucking help.”

I’m about to leave when Elijah appears out of nowhere and drops his tray on the table right where I’d been sitting.

“Avery! Where are you going?”

“Meeting with Colin,” Kaleb answers for me.

Elijah frowns, glancing between the two of us. “Really? But we’re playing Capture the Flag after breakfast.”

I pat him on the shoulder a couple times. “I know, kid. But I gotta attend my own funeral first.”

And with that, I leave them, allowing my feet to carry me toward my impending doom. All jokes aside, the nerves are overwhelming. Weak knees, sweaty palms, arms weighing a thousand pounds; the only thing stopping me from being Eminem is that I’ve managed to not puke on myself.

Yet.

My pulse thuds in my ears as I head down the hall to Colin’s office, dulling my sense of hearing to the point where I can barely hear my fist knocking on the door, let alone his voice calling me into the room. Of course, once I’m inside, the door closed behind me, the deafening pounding may as well be a group of monkeys banging cymbals. I’m not even sure if Colin told me to take a seat when he motioned toward the chair across from him or if I took the gesture and ran with it.

Jesus Christ, get a grip.

But my PTSD from meeting with authority figures is real, and from the tension lining my back and shoulders while he silently closes the file on his desk— my file—it’s not going away anytime soon.

“How’s it going this morning, Avery?” Colin asks, gaze lifting to mine as he leans back in his chair.

“Um. It’s…good,” I stumble through the lie.

His eyes crinkle at the edges, and I know he sees right through it.

“Great, then let’s hit the ground running with this,” he starts, nodding toward the folder in front of him. “Normally, these reviews are a combination of my own assessments of your performance combined with any notes or comments from your co-counselor. We use them to outline your strengths and weaknesses, giving you a chance to hone the areas you’ve excelled in and also address your shortcomings during the remaining weeks before camp is over.”

“Okay,” I utter slowly.

There’s no chance Kaleb has told him anything about our clandestine meetings every night. If I can be sure of anything, it’s that.

But I’d be a fool if I wasn’t a little worried about what his notes about me might say. Especially if they’re from the first few weeks of camp when he was still treating me like Public Enemy Number One.

Either my face is giving my thoughts away, or Colin is a mindreader, because a sharp bark of laughter fills the office, and he shakes his head. “You don’t have anything to worry about, I promise.”

Yeah, Kaleb said the same thing. But I’ll only believe them when I still have a job to go back to after this little meeting.

Clearing my throat, I motion toward the tan file folder sitting on his desk, labeled with my name at the top. “What’s the consensus?”

“In short? You’re different than when you first arrived.”

I arch a brow at the director. “I have a feeling you’re not talking about my newfound skill at starting a campfire.”

A smirk tugs at his lips before he shakes his head. “Not quite.”

He looks back at the file in front of him for the briefest moment before flipping it closed entirely. Folding his hands together, he rests them atop it and meets my gaze again.

“From what I’m seeing, you’ve taken great strides. Not only with honing some outdoor skills for yourself, but with the kids, and also with your interpersonal relationships.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have gotten there without Kaleb’s help.”

The knowing gleam in his eyes is unmistakable, and while I expect him to make some sort of comment on the admission, he doesn’t. Instead, he moves right along with the conversation.

“I have to admit, I had my reservations about having you at camp. Of course, those only grew when you and Kal couldn’t seem to set aside your differences those first few weeks.”

“I can’t even begin to apologize for that, sir. We—”

“Colin, son,” he cuts in, offering a gentle smile. “That being said, I’m glad to see how well the two of you have moved past it. And rocky start aside, Kal’s had nothing but great things to say about you the past few weeks. Truly a complete one-eighty from where the two of you started, actually.”

“What can I say? We took your reprimanding to heart.”

“Now, unlike your co-counselor, Elijah’s been singing your praises since the beginning. It’s remarkable, really. He hasn’t ever taken to a counselor the way he has with you. I was talking to him before breakfast, and if I had a nickel for every time your name came up in conversation, I could retire right now.”

So that’s where he disappeared to this morning.

“Regardless, I expect this plan of your father’s should go off without a hitch, if you keep up the good work.”

My gaze drops to my lap, fixating on my interlaced fingers. “I’d hardly call it work, s—Colin. Eli’s a great kid. Just a lonely one.”

“From where I’m sitting, lonely is the last word I’d use to describe him these days. I have you to thank for that.” A warm smile appears on his face before he adds, “Turns out, all he really needed was someone who understood him.”

He wasn’t the only one. Without Elijah, I don’t think I would’ve lasted those first few weeks out here. It makes me wonder how the hell he managed every summer without someone to talk to.

“Yeah, well…I see a lot of myself in him, I guess. Made it easy to connect.”

“It’s more than just Elijah, though. A lot of the other kids have been singing your praises too. And especially when it comes to you and Kaleb as a leadership team. Which is why, pending the next few weeks go well, I hope you consider coming back next summer.”

I blink in shock. “Are you serious?”

He laughs one of those deep, feel-it-in-your-stomach laughs. “Of course. I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”

Truthfully, I haven’t been thinking past tomorrow, let alone all the way into next summer, and the idea of coming back here for another summer sure as hell hadn’t crossed my mind. But, damn, the thought of having another summer like this with Kaleb does have a lot of appeal.

“I’ll definitely consider it. Thank you, Colin.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he says with a nod. Leaning back in his chair, he steeples his fingers in front of him and studies me. “I can tell you’re far more at peace than when you first got here, you know.”

My lips twitch and I glance away, hating that I’m so easily read by the man sitting across from me. Because he’s right.

Somehow, nothing’s changed, and yet everything is different at the same time.

This place that felt so much like a prison when I first set foot in it has turned into a refuge. A place of enlightenment, providing me with a sense of freedom I’d never imagined. My father sending me here against my will ended up being the best thing that could’ve happened to me. To the struggles I’d been facing when it came to accepting myself.

The irony of it isn’t lost on me either.

Returning my attention to Colin, I offer him a shrug. “I guess this place gave me something I didn’t realize I needed.”

Or rather some one.

“Would you like your I told you so now so you can lick your wounds, or would waiting ‘til you’re naked in my bed take some of the sting out of it?”

Glancing up from where I’m spearing marshmallows onto roasting sticks for the kids, I level Kaleb with an unamused stare.

The entire day passed without him inquiring about my meeting with Colin, even after I asked about how his went. I should’ve known he was lying in wait, ready to use it as ammunition when he saw the chance.

Apparently, now is that moment.

“You’re so fucking smug,” I reply, not dignifying his question with an answer.

Of course, he gets a kick out of that too, if the grin spreading across his lips is anything to go on.

“Oh, absolutely. Smug is my specialty that follows an appetizer of being right. Both pair well with stubbornness, or so I hear.” He lifts the s’more in his hand in cheers toward me before adding, “And s’mores too.”

I blink at him in equal parts awe and disbelief. Leave it to Kaleb to get a kick outta my PTSD when it comes to authority figures.

“I can’t stand you.”

He takes another bite of his dessert before murmuring, “Mmm, I’ve heard that before. Of course, I had you coming with my name on your lips right after, so…”

“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter under my breath while shooting him a glare. I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into him this evening, but if he’s trying to turn me on by bringing back filthy memories of us in bed together, it’s sure as shit starting to work.

All I get in return is another grin before he pops the rest of his s’more in his mouth. Part of the melted chocolate bar drips from the bite as he does it, landing on his lower lip.

“You’ve got chocolate…”

I reach up to wipe it away, only to remember we aren’t alone. So I settle for pointing to the spot, allowing him to take care of it himself. Of course, doing it myself may have been the safer option, considering Kaleb wipes it with his thumb…only to stick it in his mouth and lick the chocolate off.

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

Kaleb’s eyes take on a playful glimmer when he pulls the digit from between his lips, now completely clean. He’s well aware of what he’s doing, and pairing his lewd gesture with a hellish smile, I know I’m in deep shit. Especially when my cock starts stirring behind my zipper.

I clear my throat and glance away, doing my best to tamp down the lust threatening to take over. Consequences be damned.

“Problem there, Reynolds?” He asks it like he’s the picture of innocence.

“Nope. All good.”

Let the record state, I am not good. I’m barely holding it together, but there’s no chance in hell I’m giving him the satisfaction of letting him know that. Especially when the dickhead has the audacity to continue acting like a saint, letting out a little hum and nodding toward the bag of marshmallows.

“Hand me some of those, will ya? I think I want another s’more.”

Swallowing harshly, I grab the bag and hold it out to him, careful not to let my skin come into contact with his. Touching him is the last thing I need to do, and God knows if I don’t put some space between us soon, I can’t be held liable for what might follow.

“And just so you know, you’ll be even better when it’s your body I’m licking chocolate off of later tonight.”

Yep. I’m gonna lose it. Right here, right now.

“You’re playing with fire,” I warn, nostrils flaring, but it only makes his grin wider.

“Counting on it, baby.”

Gritting my teeth, I step away from him and head toward Elijah, who is chatting with Max and Dayton by the fire. Of course, the jackass may as well be beaming at this point at my attempts to use the kids as a shield from him stirring my libido any further.

Will there ever be a day he doesn’t see right through me?

As I drop onto the log beside Elijah, I catch Colton watching me, a curiosity in his gaze when it locks with mine. Like his older brother’s, it’s a little unnerving, despite him being only eleven. Maybe because Kaleb and I have been doing our best to keep them, along with all our campers, in the dark about what’s going on between us.

Something we’ve been doing a damn good job of, as far as I’m concerned.

Yet, from the discerning look on his younger brother’s face as his eyes move from me to Kaleb, I have a feeling we’ve somehow blown that to smithereens.