Not A Chance (Heartstrings #2)

17. Theo

Unfortunately, my first stop back in Toronto was not Indie’s front door to enact my yet-unthought-of plan to date the hell out of her.

“How’s the pain been?” The question was accompanied by the sounds of paperwork being shuffled within a file folder.

Dr. Isabel Kaya, the team doctor, eyed me suspiciously. Her tone was serious but not unkind. Based on her highly respected career, first with Team Canada and now in the last decade with NHL teams across the country, she was more than capable of cutting through any bullshit a cocky hockey player might bring into her office.

“Better lately. The TENS therapy has helped.” The half-truth spilled from my lips without hesitation.

I kept eye contact with her so she could see how honest I was being. It wasn’t a lie. Dr. Kaya had been working with me since I joined the team on some noninvasive pain relief for my knees. It might have only made a minor difference in the pain itself, but that wasn’t what she’d asked .

“Hmm, okay. Is the pain still a three out of ten most days?” She raised an eyebrow, appearing skeptical of my truthfulness.

The pain was closer to a four on a non-game day and a solid six or seven by the middle of the last period most nights.

Dr. Kaya narrowed her eyes, and she dropped her volume. “Listen, Theo, I know you’re an integral part of the team’s chances to make it into the postseason this year, but not at the expense of your health, okay?”

I nodded to acknowledge that I’d heard her. She was one of the good ones. In the past few months in our appointments, she’d never made me feel like a commodity or that she was putting the team’s interest before mine.

“I also don’t need to remind you that it is your right to seek a second opinion outside the league’s medical staff. And that those results would be kept confidential without impacting your position on the team?” She eyed me carefully.

“Yep.” This wasn’t a road I was going down today. I also didn’t mention that I’d already seen two other orthopedic surgeons back in Vancouver, and both had recommended knee surgery sooner than later.

Until I knew what I wanted for my future career-wise, I wasn’t going to be put on the injured reserve if this was my last season in the league. Season-ending surgery was not on my Christmas wish list either.

Both options filled me with the same amount of dread since they both were equivalent to failure: failing my team and coaches, failing head office, who’d signed me in good faith for this season, and potentially ending a career I’d prided myself on a sour note.

“Don’t worry, Doc. I’m doing okay.” I gave her what I hoped was a charming wink. I didn’t turn on my charm often, but I knew how to play the game when it counted. And I wanted her to sign off on me playing tonight.

“Don’t think you can bat those pretty eyelashes at me and get your way,” she said and laughed.

“I would never, Dr. Kaya!” I put my hand on my chest as if I was shocked by her comment.

She rolled her eyes at me and wrote something down on my chart.

“So… I’m good to go, right?” I was already sliding off the exam table and grabbing my hoodie.

Tucking the chart under her arm, she moved to the door and opened it. To our surprise, Indie was on the other side with her hand raised to knock.

“Indigo! Hello.” Dr. Kaya was the first to recover, completely ignorant of the utter storm of tension that’d been brewing between Indie and me since our encounter in that hotel hallway.

Indie stepped into the room just enough to cross the threshold. She moved against the closest wall and not a step farther. It was enough room for me to leave and prevent herself from getting stuck in this room longer than necessary. Her rigid body language made it clear she wasn’t here to chat.

“Hey, Dr. Kaya. Um, sorry to interrupt. I just came from a meeting with our team, and Coach Reyes asked me to come get you. He wants to triple-check with you that Andrews is safe to play tonight. He’s still worried about that hit Connor took in Monday’s game.” Indie kept her eyes locked on Dr. Kaya.

“I’ll go see him now. I swear, that man is worse than a mother hen. I can’t wish he was any other way with you boys, but he drives me up the wall sometimes. I already signed off on Andrews.” She gave me a warm smile as if I hadn’t seen her fret about us the same way Coach did.

She tossed my chart onto her desk and headed out into the hallway, hands still in the air in good-natured frustration .

Indie made a move to sneak out the way she came but not before I had the door shut within seconds of the good doctor’s exit.

“What the hell, Theo? What is with you and doorways?” The professional facade dropped as she turned her glare on me.

“If you weren’t so hell-bent on hiding from me, I wouldn’t have to take such drastic measures to talk to you.” I shrugged, completely unrepentant. If she accidentally put herself in my orbit, I was going to use it to my advantage.

She looked like she wanted to put hands on me. The kind of hands that resulted in blood and hospital visits, not orgasms.

“Fuck off, Theo. I don’t hide from anything.” Her lips pressed into a tight line.

Not wanting to engage her in her clear pattern of avoidance of what was brewing between us, I took a different route.

“So Andrews, hm? Poor kid hurt his head the other night? I bet he’s all better if you’ve been nursing him back to health.” My tone was laced with false sympathy.

While I spoke, I closed the small space between us to mirror our positions from that damn hotel run-in a few days ago.

My forearms resting above her head once more, I could catch a close-up view of what my words were doing to her.

Indie was a fascinating study in contrasts. Her fierce scowl was tempered by the pinkening of her cheeks. Those who didn’t know her would assume the flush was coming from anger at me, but Indie went ice-cold when pissed off. When she was angry with you, she’d either dismiss you or dismantle you piece by piece with her words.

Her beautiful skin heated, and her breathing increased, bringing my attention to the skin of her face and neck as I scrutinized her features for her real feelings for Andrews.

Her tan from the summer sun now fully faded from the dreary fall weather’s lack of sun, her skin took on a creamy, delicate tone. Her Irish heritage had her skin almost translucent it was so fine and delicate. My gaze traced the soft sweep of her skin down to the crisp collar of her blouse.

“I haven’t…” she began.

I whipped my eyes back to hers. I was so distracted by her proximity I’d almost forgotten my question about her new boyfriend.

“Haven’t what? That boyfriend of yours doesn’t want you talking about the fact that you’re dating someone on the team?” I baited her.

“Jesus Christ, Theo. Give it a rest. It’s none of your business! When are you going to get that through your head? Have you taken too many hits with a puck to hear what I’ve been saying to you? Have you told Dr. Kaya about your selective hearing?” she asked.

She put her hands on my chest to push me away, but I just leaned further forward, capitalizing on our significant weight difference.

“No, Indie. I want to know. What’s so special about this kid that you’re willing to risk locker room gossip and sneak out of hotel rooms in the middle of the night?” My volume dropped with our proximity. We moved incrementally closer with each word that passed between us.

Indie’s hands had grabbed handfuls of my T-shirt while I spoke. Her knuckles were white from squeezing the fabric. I could imagine she wished it was my neck.

Fists still clenched, she pushed into my chest, hard.

“Oh my god. You aren’t going to let this go, are you, Theo? We’re just friends, okay? I’m not seeing Connor!” She spoke through her clenched teeth.

My surprise at her admission that they weren’t dating had my body surrendering to her next shove more than the momentum she caused. I staggered back a couple of steps, giving her room to throw her arms out to the side in frustration after she released my shirt .

“You’re not? But what about the night at the bar? The hotel?” The images of them with their heads bent together, laughing intimately, were burned into my memory. A day didn’t go by that I didn’t feel the gut punch of regret of them getting together.

“We did have a drink together but decided to be friends. And for god’s sake, I just fell asleep in his room watching a movie with him. Nothing has happened between us. Can you stop acting like my big brother and let it go now? I don’t need you to protect me from the big, bad world. I’m more capable of protecting myself than you could possibly imagine.” Her tone was defiant, determined to get me to butt out of her business.

Her arms had dropped to her side while she spoke. But now, she brought her hands up to her face, stopping only millimeters from her eyes when she remembered she was wearing makeup.

I’d seen Emery do that a time or two when she was a teenager, so I recognized the move. Emery had complained often enough about feeling pressured to wear makeup to events and then rubbing it in her eyes before regretting it because it apparently stung like a bitch. It must have been frustrating as hell.

Knowing she couldn’t act on her frustration, her hands dropped to her side in temporary defeat, slapping against the side of her thighs.

“So if your curiosity is now satisfied, I’ve got to get ready for the game. I’m sure you have some weird pre-game ritual to do too.” She waved her hand in the air like I was going to be practicing black magic and sacrificing the village goat.

My elaborate ritual included green socks for a Thursday game and my ever-present rainbow stick tape.

Without thinking, I put my hands on her upper arms to halt her movement.

“No, Indie. I’m not satisfied at all. In fact, I haven’t been satisfied in weeks,” I rasped.

I closed the distance between our bodies until they were flush together, my groin pressing into the firm plane of her stomach.

I slid one hand into her hair and guided her head back gently so I could see her eyes. I struggled not to be distracted by the strands of silk I’d gathered between my fingers. Jesus. Her hair was softer than I’d ever imagined.

I wanted to spend hours just gently running my fingers through it. Then, several more hours making sure it ended up in knots. But now, I need to focus on the one thing on my mind.

“The only thing I want right now is to kiss you. I sure as fuck don’t think of you like a sister.” I brought my other hand to the side of her face so I could brush her cheek with the pad of my thumb, keen to get as much of myself pressed against her as possible. “Are you going to let me kiss you, Indie?”

Her eyes were wide with shock and the tiniest hint of uncertainty. Could she really not see how focused I had been on her every time we were in the same space?

Pressing her lips together before taking a small, shaky breath, she whispered, “Yes.”

I was on her before she could tell me all the reasons this was a bad idea.

Wrapping my other arm behind her back, I pulled her more tightly against me and took her lips with mine.

As much as I wanted to savor this second “first” kiss between us, I was out of control after weeks of hiding my jealousy while I thought she was dating my teammate.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth and made love to it with my tongue before I gave it a sharp nip. The twinge from my teeth had her sucking in a shocked breath and her mouth opening under mine .

I thrust my tongue into her mouth, fucking into it like I wanted to own her whole body. I consumed every plush inch of her lips and tongue as it wrestled with mine.

Holy hell. I’d never been harder in my life. My cock was pressing painfully against the zipper of my jeans.

Her hands were back on my chest, fingers digging into the meat of my pecs. I hoped she squeezed hard enough to leave fingerprints. It would be sexy as fuck to feel her marks on me while I was on the ice. I wanted to be reminded of the heady feeling of her desire every time my pads shifted while I was in goal.

It could have been minutes or an hour before I let my mouth move to her chin and neck, brushing light kisses over her skin, making her flushed skin more red with the combination of my attention and several days of scruff.

She hissed out a low sound when I latched onto her clavicle just beneath the fabric of her blouse. I nipped her skin harder than any of the previous bites, wanting her to remember this moment was real and what I wanted from her when she looked in the mirror at home tonight.

She squeezed my shoulder weakly. “Theo, we need to stop. Dr. Kaya’s probably going to come back any minute.”

I lifted my head to take stock of the wonderfully disheveled woman before me.

Her silky hair now slightly tangled from where my hands had been, she’d never looked more beautiful to me.

“Let me come to your place after the game tonight,” I begged. For Indie Layne, I would say anything to get her to give me a chance.

I wasn’t hesitating anymore now that I knew there wasn’t anyone else in the picture. I was going to shoot my shot with Indie because this skyrocketing desire between us could turn into so much more .

She looked to the side as if she didn’t want to see the emotions in my eyes or was hiding her true feelings in hers.

“This isn’t a good idea, Theo. We can’t.” She kept her gaze averted.

“I want to. You want to. Please, Indie.” I let the immense need coursing through me bleed into my tone.

“It would be just a physical thing.” She looked up at me from under her lashes, perhaps gauging my reaction to her words.

I gently lifted her chin with the tips of my fingertips. Her lips were slightly swollen from our kisses, and goddamn if I didn’t love that. If anyone paid attention when she left this room, they’d know something had happened. That illicit feeling turned me on way more than I’d been before.

“I’m not asking you for anything right now other than to see you tonight. Can I do that?” I sidestepped her comment about not wanting a relationship. Maybe she thought she wasn’t ready, but I could prove her wrong by showing her how dedicated I was to the idea of us.

I brushed my thumb back and forth across her plush bottom lip, hopefully reminding her of how good what we just did felt.

She licked my thumb, turning the tables on me again.

“Okay,” she whispered, the want back in her eyes.

“Thank you, baby. I’ll see you later.” Relief had my shoulders relaxing.

I couldn’t resist one more short kiss on my way out the door. We both had a game to get ready for, and I didn’t want to give her a chance to change her mind.

Tonight would be the first step in showing her how good we could be together.