Epilogue
Xander
Bertha really was something special. The place I called home, where I built myself a family, where I finally felt safe for the first time in my life.
It’s gone forever now.
I’m trying not to panic. Surprisingly, that’s a lot easier to do when I look around at the property, at all our friends and family here for our housewarming, at the two small houses nestled side by side with a door between them for internal access between the two.
My forever home.
With my forever man. The one I’ll propose to tonight when everyone leaves. The one who I know will say yes.
The past two years have been amazing. Derek and I have figured out how to be together without my anxiety getting in the way and without me relying on him for every episode. He’s learned the difference between being a supportive partner and a carer. I’m still a work in progress, and he is too, and I think that’s part of what makes us work so well together. We talk. We assess. We communicate what we need. It hurts sometimes, when he voices things I’ve done that make him upset, and it would be so easy for me to go back to that place where I beat myself up over everything. I’m getting better. The medication is going strong. And Sherwin actually made me laugh the other day.
The last volunteer trip Derek went on, I made it the entire six weeks without a single panic attack, and there wasn’t a single moment where I didn’t think he was coming back.
Arms wrap around me from behind, making me jump as Molly’s soft laugh tickles my ear.
“Can you believe the houses are finally done?”
“No. It took forever.”
“It was so worth it.” He squeezes me tighter, chin rested on my shoulder. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
“Seven took Dad out to dinner last night.”
I try not to give myself away. “Oh, really?”
“Without me. Alone. Just those two.”
“Right.”
“I snooped and found a ring,” he says quickly.
“Molly!”
“I couldn’t not look. And technically, Will found it first, not me, so blame him.”
“Hopefully, he proposes soon, then,” I say, knowing full well he’s planning to do it tonight too. We went shopping together for the rings and everything. “You’re shit at keeping secrets from him.”
“I’ll keep this one.”
We stand there on the front porch, watching as Kismet creeps along the banister. Molly holds out his hand and makes the pst pst pst noise, but the dumb cat turns around and faces his butt at us.
“I’ll win him over one day,” Molly says.
“At least you don’t have to share Seven with the monster. He keeps trying to steal my side of the bed.”
“He really loves Derek.”
Everyone really loves Derek. He and Gabe have NHL season tickets to watch Gabe’s boyfriend play. Rush lost his damn mind when he saw Derek’s formicarium, and they text nonstop about antish … things . Rush also bought a beekeeping suit thingie to help Derek when he gets his hives. Christian, émile, and Elle take him out for dinner once a month, and Madden and Penn have invaded Derek’s football games.
All these people I have to share him with.
And I couldn’t be happier because he shares his people with me. Manny and his daughter, Delilah, invite me to their tea parties, his mom calls me for a chat every other week, and Constantine and I go mini golfing.
I still can’t get over how much my life has changed, but through everything, my brothers are still here.
There are even days where I really believe they always will be.
“Hey,” comes Seven’s deep voice. I glance over at where he’s hanging out of his front door. “Both of you get in here a second.”
Molly pulls away, and we exchange a quick look before following. Our homes are still sparse since we only moved in a few days ago, but scattered between the boxes and mismatched furniture are my family.
Madden and Gabe are both sitting on the floor. Aggy has taken the only armchair. Christian is standing by the kitchen like he’s too scared to touch anything, and Rush is wandering around, taking it all in .
“What’s all this?” Molly asks as Seven slings his arms around him.
“Dunno. Ask Aggy.”
I glance over at her self-satisfied smile.
“So, you’ve all officially gone and left me, huh?”
“I said we’d build you a house too,” I remind her before she can set the guilt trip in.
Aggy waves me off. “I have enough houses, thanks.”
“Enough …” Rush cocks his head. “As in, more than one?”
“As in several.”
My eyebrows shoot up, and a confused sort of silence falls around the room.
“You have all been a pain in my side since I met you,” she says. “Christian with the tittie-grab and Seven with his music. I’ve had to teach Molly to cook from scratch, basically adopt Rush, have seen more of Madden than my poor heart can take, babied dear Gabe, and Xander, my love, I have never met someone with such an attitude in my entire life.”
“You can talk.”
She laughs. “And I love and adore every single one of you.” She holds out a piece of paper. “I wanted to show you this.”
When no one moves, I take charge and cross over to grab it. At first, I don’t know what I’m looking at.
“It’s … is this your will ?”
“Yes.”
I scan over it. “We’re on here.”
“You are.” She shrugs. “I never had children of my own, my siblings are all dead now, and when it comes to family, well, you lot might only have me, but … I also only have you. I’m officially in my eighties, and I see my friends at the nursing home and how lonely they are. How little some of them are visited. You have all made what could have been incredibly sad years full of life, and I owe all of you so much .”
A tear slides over my cheek that I angrily scrub away. “Stop talking like you’re going to die tomorrow. We still have plenty of years left to annoy you.”
“Oh, I’m planning on it. But whether I die tomorrow or twenty years from now, I wanted to make sure I had a chance to say thank you. I’ve had a very long life, and the years with you, well, they might be my absolute favorites.”
The will is long forgotten as I tackle Aggy in a hug. My brothers are quick to join us, and between the sniffles and the wet patch on my shoulder, I know I’m not the only one struggling with emotion. I have no clue how many houses or what Aggy is worth; all I know is what she’s worth to me. That value goes beyond money and property. It doesn’t have a number. Just the huge expanse of my heart that will always be hers.
“Okay, okay,” she says, brushing us away. “Shoo, and enjoy your party.”
We shoo. And we enjoy. I spend the day surrounded by love, knowing that this is the start of the rest of my life. A life with Derek. A life with Seven and Molly. One day with their kids.
“Where have you been?” Derek asks, catching me as I go to walk past.
“Enjoying myself.”
“I love that.”
I snake my arms around his waist. “Apparently, Aggy’s left me a whole buttload of money in her will,” I say.
“Ah …” Derek blinks. “Sorry, where have you been?”
I bury my face in his chest. “Is it weird that I don’t care about what she left me, it’s the fact that I’m in it? That I’m in someone’s will. It’s, like, not something I ever considered because of the whole, you know, no-family thing. She could have left me a stinky, old sock, and I’d still be amazed. Every time I remember it, I start crying again.”
Derek’s warm, reassuring kiss finds my forehead. My eyes drift closed, and I lean into the feeling, grounded in this one single moment where everything almost feels too much, but he’s got me.
He’s here.
He always will be.
“I think it’s finally sinking in how loved you are.”
“Yeah …” It’s a confusing feeling. “Maybe.”
Derek tilts my face up toward his. “And your hair looks so fucking good brown.”
I huff a laugh, awkward as I always am when he mentions it. It’s still a trial, so we’ll see, but I think I’m liking it too.
I’m liking a lot about myself these days.
Except my stupid art. That’s still terrible.
I wouldn’t want to go and change too much.
Unlike Derek, who quit the pharmacy, moved to a clinic closer to here, and has embraced his full mountain man persona.
“Everyone will be leaving soon,” he says, dropping his voice. “We going to have a quiet night in?”
“Sure will be.”
If all goes to plan, I’ll be making love to my fiancé in a few hours.
Or should I say when all goes to plan?
Because I trust Derek when he says he loves me, when he says he wants to love me forever. And I’m going to do the same for him.
I never have to worry about being alone again.
Thank you for reading the Accidental Love series!