Chapter 24
“You did great,Olivia. They’re definitely gonna buy,” Eduardo says as we leave the meeting.
When I’d asked Gavin to join another demo with Darnell from Surf and Stream on Wednesday, he said he was too busy.
Just like he was too busy to hang out when we got home from Mexico, and yesterday at work when he was never at his desk, and the day before. He’s been avoiding me so well, it’s like he hasn’t even been working this week.
Gavin is either playing the most extreme version of hard-to-get, or he’s already lost interest and is too much of a dick to tell me.
“Thanks for stepping in at the last minute. I really appreciate it,” I reply to Eduardo.
“No problem at all.”
The meeting ran forty minutes longer than expected, which I assume is a good sign, but by the time we make it back to our desks, half the office has already gone home.
Of course, Gavin is here, finally showing up once I”ve admitted defeat. It feels like he’s taunting me, sitting so close. I don’t think I have unrealistic expectations but my experience with dating is limited to Ian.
I just don’t get it. What happened in Mexico didn’t feel like a random hook-up. He said things to me, things that felt…
Well, it doesn’t matter. Limited experience or not, when you sleep with a guy and get the cold shoulder a day later, his intentions are very clear. The worst part is that people at work still think we’re a couple. If our relationship suddenly ends after the trip to Mexico, won’t all the rumors about me using him seem true?
“Hey, Sparkles.”
My internal thoughts must have been spiraling for longer than I realized because Gavin is standing right next to me, stealing my attention.
“Hey,” I reply coolly, keeping my eyes on my computer. Because he’s blown me off for three days and I don’t really feel like being flirty anymore.
“Wanna get dinner?” he asks.
What?
“Sorry. I have plans.” With a bottle of wine and an entire wheel of cheese.
“Liv—”
“I gotta run.” Feeling way too confused for this interaction, I grab my stuff and jet.
I spend halfthe night wondering what Gavin was going to say.
And the other half berating myself for not waiting to hear it.
It scares me—how much I like him.
I didn’t realize how bad I wanted him until I had him, but now have I lost him entirely? Was I too clingy? Were my expectations too high? Was Ian right, and I’m too immature for anyone to take me seriously? Am I not even girlfriend material?
Fuck, my brain hurts. I just want to flip it off.
My phone keeps buzzing, but every time I look, hoping it’s Gavin with a detailed explanation for his behavior, it’s just Tristan, hot in his pursuit to get me to dinner.
I silence my phone and turn on my music as loud as it will go without the neighbors complaining. After a long shower to wash away my feelings, I dive into the bed that never feels warm enough anymore.
When I close my eyes, I don’t even try to push out the thought of being wrapped in Gavin’s arms.
SLACK DIRECT MESSAGE
Gavin Scott:
Why are you avoiding me?
Olivia Diamond:
I’m not avoiding you
Gavin Scott:
You literally ran out of Fog Foam this morning when you saw me
Olivia Diamond:
I didn’t see you. I was just running late
Gavin Scott:
We made eye contact
And now you won’t even look at me
I straightenmy spine and look up from my laptop. I’m not afraid of him, and definitely not avoiding him. Just giving him the same treatment he’s given me all week. Last night, I decided that I don”t want to completely give up on this thing between us, that I can’t pretend I don’t have feelings for him. If I have to fake a little aloofness to keep him interested, so be it.
Maybe it’s petty that I had my headphones on all morning, or that I texted Andie multiple times so Gavin could see me giggling at my phone. But maybe it was the right move, because I’ve definitely gotten his attention.
Gavin stares back at me with a smirk. Then he tilts his head down toward the computer.
Gavin Scott:
You ran away from me last night and you’ve barely spoken to me all day. Why won’t you talk to me?
Olivia Diamond:
It’s been a busy week for both of us. I’m not gonna be all clingy just because we…you know
Gavin Scott:
Because we had amazing sex?
Thrice ;)
Olivia Diamond:
NSFW!!!
Gavin Scott:
You’re avoiding me because of the sex?
Olivia Diamond:
Not avoiding you. I’m just not going to make a big deal out of it. I know it was casual and just a one-time vacation thing and I didn’t want to give you the impression otherwise
I’m pretty sure I hear him grunt under his breath.
He stands up but doesn’t say anything, just marches toward the exit. I chase after him until we’re both standing in the elevator bank.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
“Taking a walk.” His jaw works, anger coating his features.
“Scottie, I?—”
“You didn’t need to follow me. I’m just going to get some air.”
“But we were talking,” I say. “We were kind of in the middle of a conversation?”
His eyes narrow on me and he folds his arms over his chest. He shakes his head a few times like he’s battling his own thoughts. I know the feeling all too well. But I’d give anything for a peek inside his head right now.
“It wasn’t casual for me. And it definitely wasn’t a one-time thing.” His words come out raspy, like they had a treacherous journey up his throat. “Is that what it was to you?”
“No,” I murmur. It’s so quiet I’m not sure if he hears me.
When the doors open, he breezes into the elevator. I run in right before it closes.
“No,” I say louder this time.
“Then, what was it?” he asks through a deep whisper. He stalks toward me, inching closer and closer until I’m backed up against the wall, until his lips are so close to mine, I can almost taste him.
“It was…” I take a deep breath because I don’t know what to say. I’m still confused about his demeanor since we got home, but I can’t keep up with my cool girl fa?ade when he looks at me this way. “It was…it didn’t feel casual to me. But since we got back, I felt like it might have meant more to me than to you.”
He blinks, his pupils dilating. He parts his lips and I’m desperate to know if it’s for more words or to kiss me. But the doors open before I can find out.
Gavin turns to the bank, where three people on the fifth floor are waiting to join us.
“Take the next one.” He presses the close door button and once we’re sealed back in the metal box, he slams the emergency stop.
He is impossibly close now, his forehead pressing against my own. He tugs on a loose piece of hair and tucks it behind my ear.
“I’m sorry I’ve been…preoccupied this week. I shouldn’t have left the way I did when we got back from Mexico.” He pauses and kisses my nose. “Please don’t think for a second that it means last weekend wasn’t monumental for me. Okay?”
“Ok—”
The word is stolen from my lips when his mouth crashes into mine. The kiss is intense, but sweet, his lips unbearably soft against me. His hands come up to cradle my jaw, squeezing gently around my neck. He tilts my head back and sucks on my bottom lip, biting softly before releasing it.
“I’ve wanted to do this all day,” he rasps, moving from my lips down to my throat. “And you wouldn’t even talk to me.”
He kisses me again, this time parting my lips with his tongue until we’re completely tangled up in each other.
“Scottie,” I say, swallowing hard. “We can’t do this here. Someone will come.”
“This building has twelve elevators. We’re fine.” He sucks on the spot right beneath my ear and I care a little less about getting caught. “I need you,” he breathes. And I feel the same way.
His head dips to kiss my collarbone and he slides off my blazer, letting it pool on the floor. Then he starts to unbutton my shirt.
“Scottie—”
“Just two, okay? No, three. Maybe four.” I assume he’s referring to the number of buttons because he stops as soon as he can spread the shirt enough to reveal my bra. My lilac bra studded with lots of tiny black bows that I wore for a self-esteem boost.
“Your tits are wrapped up like a present,” he says, licking his lips. He leans down and sucks one nipple into his mouth. It’s somehow even hotter when he does it over my bra. “Are they for me?”
“Property of Scottie,” I breathe, my head falling back against the wall.
“Hello? Is there an emergency?” My body jolts when I hear a deep voice over the speaker in the elevator, though it sounds more bored than worried.
“Ignore it,” Gavin says, his words melting on my skin. I know we shouldn’t ignore it but it’s impossible to think straight when Gavin’s mouth is on me.
His lips find mine again and my whole body starts to heat up. I reach down between us to find his erection rock hard against his joggers.
“I’m sorry I let you down,” he whispers on my neck. His hips rock forward against my hand. “I should have told you what was going on. I’m an asshole.” But he sure doesn’t feel like one, his mouth clinging to the lace of my bra again. He sucks on the fabric like it’s his favorite flavor, like he’ll never have enough. “If you’re ever feeling unsure, just talk to me, Sparkles.”
His hand comes down to squeeze my ass and he lifts my leg to wrap around him. We’re almost lined up too perfectly. It almost feels too good. How does it feel so good when all my clothes are still on?
“Hello? Stand back, we’re opening the doors,” comes a voice on the other side of the elevator. It’s followed by the click of a key and in seconds we are not alone anymore.
I shove Gavin away from me and grab my blazer from the floor.
“Hey, Gino,” Gavin says with a smirk. How is he not mortified?
“So sorry,” I say, trying to discreetly button my shirt. “I was feeling a little sick.”
“Yeah,” Gino drones. “Looked real under the weather on the cameras.”
Oh god.
He looks at Gavin. “Need me to escort you back to twenty-two?”
“I’ve got it,” Gavin says, chuckling. He swipes his thumb along his bottom lip. “We’ll behave.”
Work isimpossible the rest of the day. Gavin and I can’t stop smiling at each other.
If anyone didn’t buy our relationship before, they will now.
And then it hits me. What is our relationship now? I’ve been so worried all week about him wanting nothing but vacation sex, but he made it clear today that’s not the case. That still doesn’t mean we’re a real couple.
How the hell do you define a fake relationship between two people who are sleeping together and also might have feelings? I’ll have to google it later when I’m not at work.
SLACK DIRECT MESSAGE:
Gavin Scott:
Finished updating your reports yet?
Olivia Diamond:
Yep
Gavin Scott:
Wanna get out of here?
Olivia Diamond:
Yes please
Gavin brought his bike to work today so the second five o’clock comes, we ride back to my place. I try my best not to grope him the whole way home. I fail. His leather jacket must be vintage because it’s as soft as butter.
It also easily slides off of him as soon as we get inside.
Ever since we got caught in the elevator, I’ve felt feverish, my skin uber sensitive to any contact. Now that we’re alone, I wrap my arms around him immediately, wanting to fuse our lips together again.
He must feel the same because his kisses are hungry and demanding. He pulls off my blazer and throws it across the couch like he has a personal vendetta against linen.
“Wait,” he says, not actually pausing anything. He’s already unbuttoning my shirt for the second time today. “I need to explain.”
“It’s okay.”
He ignores me and kisses a trail across my neck. Then he unzips my skirt and drops to his knees.
“Gabby wasn’t talking to me,” he says, looking up into my eyes. He slowly slides off my shoes and plants a kiss on each ankle. “I’m not sure if you realize how close we are. It was killing me that we weren’t speaking. It was all I could think about.”
My skirt comes down next and he licks his lips when he sees the underwear that matches my bra. Apparently, Gavin is a big fan of lilac lace and tiny black bows.
“Is it okay if I don’t tell you the whole story? I will, I promise, just not yet.”
He stands up until his gaze meets mine and threads his fingers through my hair. His eyes hold the question in them and the sincerity I see makes me melt. Whatever this is between us is still new. I won’t be burdening him with my family drama anytime soon.
“Of course. I just hope you and Gabby are okay.”
“We are. We will be.” He trails his hands down my back, squeezes my ass and picks me up, walking us toward my bed. “All I want to think about for the rest of the night is you.”
We skip dinner.
But when my stomach starts rumbling, Gavin offers to go get snacks. He comes back with a hot fudge sundae from Ghirardelli. When you live as close as I do, it’s hard not to be tempted. All the air outside my apartment smells like chocolate and whipped cream.
“Have I atoned?” he asks, feeding me another bite.
“As much as I enjoy the groveling, we’re all good. I’m partially to blame as well.”
He sets down the empty cup on the nightstand and spreads out on my bed, pulling me down with him.
“Please tell me how you’re at fault for me keeping secrets.”
“We all have secrets, Scottie. You’re not required to tell me everything going on in your life.” I swallow thickly, hoping he agrees. The image of all of Tristan’s texts sits heavy in my chest. “And I don’t…never mind.”
“Tell me. What were you about to say?”
“I just—ugh. I have no experience doing this. I hate to agree with anything Ian said to me, but maybe I am immature. At least when it comes to…this. I never really dated in college. My brother Owen was only a year above me and he was so protective that I never had the chance. Every guy was terrified of him.
“And dating Ian was like a fucking minefield. It felt like I was always playing some game, but I was ten steps behind wherever he was. I never knew how I was supposed to act or look or what version of girlfriend he wanted.”
I blow out a breath, exhausted just thinking about it. I probably shouldn’t be spilling all of this to Gavin, but it feels good to do it. It feels even better that he’s actually listening.
“And with you, I don’t know. I’ve never had to be anything but myself with you. But suddenly, you’re MIA for two days and I got all weird. I was so in my head about it and then I’m the one playing mind games and I hate myself for it.”
“Mind games?”
“Yes! I mean, of course I wanted to get dinner with you last night. And instead, I sat at home, hoping you were missing me? Like what the fuck is that about? I don’t want to do that. That’s not who I am. I just want to be me, and if that’s not good enough, then so be it.”
“Just for the record,” Gavin says. “I was missing you. And I don’t blame you for wanting to make me sweat a little. I could have at least given you a heads up when I was barely at the office for two days. Family stuff has just always been hard for me.”
“I understand,” I say, even as I’m thinking that I don’t. “Or—I want to, at least. If you ever feel like talking about it.”
He kisses me, just a soft brush of his lips.
“You’re not immature, Liv. And I’m begging you, please don’t try to be anything but yourself around me, okay? You are my favorite thing.”
“Okay,” I breathe out, feeling lighter than I have all week. I yawn, suddenly, realizing how tired I am. “Do you wanna sleep here?”
“What kind of question is that, Sparkles?” He pulls me toward him until our bodies are fused together. “I want to live here.”
“But your apartment’s so much bigger.”
He nuzzles into the spot between my neck and shoulder. “I’m not talking about your apartment.”
On Friday,we’re back to our usual working environment, and keep our elevator riding to a minimum. We both care too much about our jobs to let our chemistry get in the way. But he does insist that we get lunch together. He even invites Andie to join us. Who then invites Daanesh.
SLACK GROUP MESSAGE
#SUSHI-SIZZLRS
Olivia Diamond:
Did you just create a group chat for lunch today?
Andie Oh:
I did. I want sushi. Have I incepted you all yet?
Daanesh Khan:
Works for me
Gavin Scott:
I’m in. But not that place all the way down 3rd. Liv’s wearing the crazy heels
SLACK DIRECT MESSAGE
Olivia Diamond:
You asked me to wear these heels!
Gavin Scott:
And I really like the view under our desks
Can’t have your feet hurting though
“You never toldme how Wednesday’s meeting went,” Andie asks once our food comes. I was worried this lunch would be awkward, but we’ve all fallen into a good rhythm together. And after Mexico, it doesn’t feel strange socializing with our CEO.
“Good. Darnell seems impressed with our platform. Eduardo said the technical questions he asked were all a really good sign for them wanting to buy.”
“I’m sorry I missed it,” Gavin says, regret etched over his face. I notice Daanesh give him a questioning look, but he doesn’t say anything.
“I didn’t really need help, but it was good to have someone there to confirm it went well. I’m still figuring it all out.”
“I’m so proud of you,” Andie says, before pausing to take a bite. “I just wish I could have snagged you for the marketing team before sales pulled you to the dark side.”
Daanesh and Gavin are sitting across from us, so I turn to see Gavin’s reaction, if he remembers my interview as well I do. But they’re both in some deep conversation about rugby now.
I turn back to Andie. “I like sales. And I know nothing about marketing.”
“It’s really not that different. Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask. Have you still been hearing from Tri?—”
I shake my head vigorously to stop her mid-sentence. She gives me a strange look and I nod at Gavin as inconspicuously as possible.
She mouths back, “Oh.”
“I have to pee,” I say, a bit too loudly. The guys both look at me with narrowed eyes, like I’m a child asking for assistance. “Andie?”
“Yeah, me too. Be right back, boys.”
“Here,” I hand her my phone with the texts pulled up as soon as we enter the bathroom. I’ve been chewing the inside of my cheek constantly, worried about what’s on my phone. Now, I run my tongue along the tender flesh wondering if I’ve caused permanent damage.
I know I’m not cheating. I haven’t actually done anything but respond to the texts. And our relationship title is still one hundred percent fake…I think. But I know I can’t let Gavin see these messages.
Tristan Cross:
Dinner? Tonight? You’ll love it, I promise.
Me:
Sorry, can’t. I’m in Mexico!
Tristan Cross:
How about a pic of your favorite bikini then?
Me:
I only wear one-pieces. Body image issues, you know how it is
Tristan Cross:
I bet I can make you feel very good about your body. If you let me, I’ll make you feel incredible
Me:
It’s a deep insecurity
Tristan Cross:
Stop fighting me on this. You know we’ll be great together
Me:
I agree. We would make excellent business partners. Will you be at the meeting on Wednesday?
Tristan Cross:
I heard you were nothing short of impressive today. Let me show you my appreciation for your hard work
Can I have you for dinner, Olivia?
Me:
I’m not on the menu
Tristan Cross:
Yet
Andie hands me back my phone and glares at me.
“What? No Teletubby noises. I’m maturing.”
“You’re flirting,” she murmurs.
“I think I’ve made it really clear I won’t go out with him,” I defend, even though I know she’s right. “I’m just trying to be friendly enough that I don’t totally offend him.”
She purses her lips.
Mitch has been on me for days about getting him to come to our client event next month. I just have to get Tristan there, and then I can cut off this weird texting thing. But until then, I can’t shut him out completely.
“You like Gavin. I know you do. Why are you doing this?”
“It’s just until I can make some progress with the account, then I’ll block him and never speak to him again. It’s not like I want to be doing this.”
She hands me back my phone and grabs the door. “You’re playing with fire, Liv.”
I know she’s right, I know this. But I’m not sure I have it in me to give up on this deal just yet.
We both plaster on smiles when we get back to the table and enjoy our sushi while we discuss some upcoming work events and the guys’ next rugby match.
When we leave the restaurant, I push Tristan clear out of my mind. Gavin and I are hand in hand and I’m feeling giddy about wherever this is going. I don’t even bat an eye when he stops on the street corner to grab my face and kiss me.
“Ollie?” Oh no.
I pull out of Gavin’s embrace to find my brother inspecting me. “Hey, Owen.”
We stare at each other for a few moments. Owen is the youngest of my older brothers, and the one who was the most hurt when I decided to move to San Francisco instead of staying at the winery to work with him.
“What are you doing in the city?” I ask.
“Dad had me fill in for some restaurant meetings. Who are your...friends?”
“Oh! Well, you remember Andie.” She’s come with me to the winery several times. “And Daanesh, he’s actually the CEO of my company. And umm—” I track Owen’s gaze and realize Gavin and I are still holding hands. “This is Gavin, my boyfriend.”
I swallow hard, terrified of what Gavin might think that I used our fake relationship status on my brother. But with Daanesh right here, what was I supposed to say? Luckily, he seems unfazed. I watch as everyone shakes hands and gets introduced.
Daanesh and Andie let us know they have a meeting to get back to, but Gavin stays by my side so I can awkwardly catch up with my brother.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you broke up with the last one,” Owen murmurs. I give him a look that hopefully says “let’s not talk about my ex.”
“Well, this is new and?—”
“Are you coming to Passover, then?” he asks Gavin, cutting me off.
“Yes?” Gavin looks at me with narrowed eyes. Why would he say yes?
“Awesome. Our parents will be excited to meet you. We all hated the last one, so there shouldn’t be too much pressure.”
“Owen!”
“What? He called the wine obtuse, Ollie. If there’s anything worse than a snobby visitor, it’s one who doesn’t actually know what they’re talking about.”
He’s not wrong. We all cringed when Ian said he tasted notes of cobalt in the Vega, but I hoped he just misspoke and meant cherry or charcoal. Then, after he called the mouthfeel obtuse, my brothers said he wasn’t invited back.
My family aren’t snobs. They don’t expect everyone to be wine experts. In fact, they have always loved when we bring friends who have no wine education because they all love to teach. But in true Ian form, how could you teach someone something who already knows everything about everything?
“Okay, I gotta get to my next meeting and it’s all the way over Nob Hill,” Owen says.
“Oh, where at?” I ask, intrigued.
“House of Prime Rib. The Vega’s been selling well there, so we’re trying to double their order.”
“Nice. See if you can get me a reservation!” I yell when the light changes and we’re forced to run in different directions.
“What did I just agree to?” Gavin asks as we cross the street.
“Passover. It’s the only Jewish holiday my parents really celebrate. They’ve sort of turned it into an exclusive wine tasting slash dinner party for their closest friends and family.”
“I’ve never celebrated Passover before.”
“It’s okay. I’ll get you out of it. I can always say you’re sick or something.”
“So you’re uninviting me?” he asks.
“No? Do you really want to spend next weekend at my family’s vineyard? They are loud, and invasive and have absolutely no filter. They think my job is a joke. And yeah, they will definitely quiz you about the wine.”
“I guess that gives you a week to teach me.”