13. Xavier
THIRTEEN
XAVIER
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other as I stood in front of her door, seconds after I’d rung the bell. I kept the basket in my right hand and arranged my hair with the other, then quickly fixed my summer shirt.
A mirror would’ve come in handy right about now .
When she’d left without looking back that day, I’d known we couldn’t be over that quickly. No. Not before I got to learn what her favorite flowers were, not before I knew what song her mother used to sing before she slept, not before knowing her . Some might call me crazy for this inexplicable need to find out more about this woman who was a stranger to me not long ago, but even if I tried to explain, I couldn’t.
The only thing I knew was that I wanted more from her, and life was too unpredictable and short not to fight for what I wanted.
When the door creaked open, I sucked in a deep breath, lifting my gaze from my shoes to her face. She had puffy red eyes and a runny nose; my fire girl couldn’t even say “hello” before she coughed.
My chest constricted. She looked tired, but I didn’t miss the gleam in her eyes when she looked at me.
“Xavier, what are you doing here?” Arianna asked, her throat bobbing.
I looked down at the basket in my hand and handed it to her. “Just came to bring you these.”
She frowned, analyzing it. “You came all the way here just to bring me sweets, flowers, and toys?”
“Yes, with the hope that it might make you and Giulia feel better.”
Arianna’s gaze collided with mine, and I wasn’t sure if she wanted to kiss me right on the spot, or slap me.
“Xavier …”
“I’ll go, I know you already have enough on your plate.”
“How did you …” she started. “How did you even know where to come?”
“You mentioned your mother’s flower shop.” I shrugged, like it was no big deal. It truly wasn’t.
She coughed again, her eyes watering before she frowned. “How on Earth did you remember that?”
I smiled, because it was an easy question. “I remember every single word you said, fire girl.”
Her eyes nearly bulged out of her head as she took another look at me. It was like she was seeing me for the first time—that I was honest, and being sincere.
“I got you some calming cream for your nose, snacks, tea, heating pads, some sweet-flavored vitamins for Giulia, and a few toys. I haven’t been around kids much, but I hope she’ll like them,” I said, pointing to the brown basket in her hands.
Arianna made a face, and unexpectedly burst out laughing. She laughed so hard that tears sprang from her eyes until the sound was interrupted by coughing. She placed a hand on her chest, smiling from ear to ear.
“God,” she said, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.
“What’s so funny?”
She laughed again, pulling out the figurine I’d tried to hide. I instantly smiled.
“I don’t know what you’re laughing at, it’s a perfect replica of me,” I said proudly.
“I can’t believe you bought a four-year-old a figurine of yourself,” she muttered, and shook her head. “You’re so goddamn cocky.” When her smile had worn off, Arianna analyzed the doll, and a line formed between her eyebrows.
I stepped closer, not understanding what she was staring at. “What?” I asked, looking at the toy. It had a blue uniform with the number nine on it and everything. I really thought it was a good attempt.
Her lips pursed as she brushed a finger over his— my —nose. “It’s crooked.”
“No, it’s not.” I leaned down, but still couldn’t see it. If anything, it was even more straight than the real thing.
“It definitely is,” she continued, and I could hear the laugh she was trying to contain.
I straightened my back and looked at her. “So funny,” I mocked, though a smile took over my face.
She nodded playfully, fiddling with the figurine between her fingers. After a few moments of silence, she took a deep breath and pointed behind her.
“Do you want to … come in?” She bit her lip, her throat bobbing.
As much as I wanted to, showing up on her doorstep didn’t give her any other choice but to offer. I didn’t want that. I wanted her to ask me to come in when she was ready, not because I had forced her to.
“Maybe next time?” I said, biting my bottom lip. I didn’t like refusing her. “You should rest.”
Arianna bobbed her head. “Yeah, sure.” She smiled at me. “Thank you for these. It means a lot to me, Xavier.”
Her words warmed my chest. “Anytime.” I took a step closer, leaning down to kiss her cheek. She held her breath. “Can I?” I asked, looking down at her lips.
She squeezed the figurine tighter just as she nodded. When my lips pressed to her warm cheek, I let out a relieved breath. I broke away, not wanting to overstep.
As I turned to leave, Arianna’s voice caught me from behind.
“Xavier?”
“Yeah?” I looked at her over my shoulder.
“Are you sticking around?”
Does she want to see me?
I gulped. I had to think quickly. “Yeah, I’ll leave in three days.”
She glanced behind her just as the sound of footsteps approached her. “I’ll see you on Thursday. Thank you again,” she said just before closing the door.
I waited a few moments to hear her walk away before throwing my fist into the air. “Fuck yeah,” I cheered in a whisper.
The only thing I had to do was cancel my flight tonight and find a place to sleep. But it was worth it, as long as I was going to see her again.