21. Chapter 21
21
Esta didn’t want to take the medicine Dr. Goodman insisted on, and he looked at Hale with an exasperated sigh.
“Your wife needs to rest. It’s a serious sprain, potential hairline fracture, but as I said, there isn’t much that can be done about that.”
Hale gripped the door frame like a statue, his face as devoid of color as the moment he saw Ruck crest the hill toward the house. Had I even breathed from the moment Ruck turned Pebbles back to the ranch? The great burn in my lungs when I saw her said perhaps not.
She was broken but alive.
Nothing could have kept me from her, and I jumped the fence to take her into my arms. Her little white socks were streaked with dirt. Her cheeks were stained with tears. Her scent was bitter, burnt peaches, and I gagged on it as I passed Hale on the step. She’d written us letters, and they fluttered to the ground as Hale rode to Misery Creek for the doctor.
Mine was crumpled underneath my jacket against my heart.
Esta didn’t know I could barely read or write. Education wasn’t high on the list for a boy who grew up underfoot of whores. I was too ashamed to tell her my secret or the project Bram had been helping me with. A journal.
The chicken scratch writing was poor and riddled with longing for her. While I’d been pining in my journal, she’d been writing a letter of goodbye. My ribs tightened around my heart.
“Let me try.” Bram took the spoon from the doctor and waved the man away. Dr. Goodman pursed his lips but said nothing, frustrated enough to let him do what he couldn’t. Bram perched next to Esta and hovered the spoon near her closed mouth.
She’d spat like a snake when the doctor walked in the room, cringed when he touched her bare ankle. My veins tangled with the need to be closer, to protect Esta from the threat, from her pain. Bram leaned forward and whispered in her ear. Her eyes popped wide, and her mouth hinged open immediately. Bram gave us all a self-satisfied smile as he fed her the medicine. He reached out and squeezed her knee. When did Bram become so grown up? The way he was looking between Esta and the doctor was how a brother might for his younger sister.
Protective. I was so grateful for it that I could dissolve.
Dr. Goodman fussed with his shiny leather doctor’s briefcase. He pulled out a bottle and placed it on the bedside table. Esta turned her head into the pillow. The room was a mess of bitter scents, and at my nod, Ruck opened the window. His cheeks were still blanched under the shadow of his jaw. The doctor clicked his tongue.
“She needs to be kept warm, wrapped up, and stationary. Also, until the swelling lessens, she’s not to put weight on her foot. I will return tomorrow and re-examine it.”
“ She is in the room, and you can address her directly,” Esta muttered from the side of her mouth, forgetting her pain and everything else in the face of her nemesis.
Dr. Goodman froze for a moment. He worked his thin lips, smacking them together until it was obvious the retort he was searching for didn’t materialize. Dr. Goodman might not have been able to scent the tension, but the human was affected. He snapped his bag closed and scurried from the room. Wisely choosing to forgive Esta for her manners. I walked over and pressed a kiss to Esta’s forehead. Perhaps a little too forceful because she winced, but I couldn’t help it.
After her heat, I’d held back out of respect for Hale, and Esta. I owed Hale for the only true home I’d known. But my debt couldn’t linger in the face of his betrayal. He might not treasure his wife, but I would. I needed her to know how precious she was. So, nothing like this ever happened again.
“Keep watch,” I muttered to Bram, Ruck and I were on Hale’s heels as he saw the doctor out. I had to leave before Esta’s pink cheeks made me stay.
Hale watched the doctor ride down the dirt path with slumped shoulders.
“Did you read her letter?” My voice was hoarse. I wanted to know what words she gave us. What reasons. Even though I knew.
“No, but I can guess what it says,” Hale’s jaw clenched as he scratched his fingers over the breast of his jacket. Did he have his letter close to his heart like I did?
“I’ll tell you mine.” Ruck spat into the dust. “Words too sweet for the hell I deserve. She thanked me for making her laugh and for letting her be a part of the ranch for a short time. Thanked me for helping her through her heat and apologized. Apologized . For putting me in an awkward position.”
Hale dropped his chin to his chest as Ruck took a step closer, hands curled into fists. My gut twisted so hard I let out a grunt. My heart beat for Esta, and only her and she didn’t even know. She didn’t understand. The sun dipped low, like a wall of fire over the horizon, the worst was yet to come. Esta’s ordeal stole most of the day.
“Go on, do what you’re dying to,” Hale said, resigned.
Ruck launched forward, a feral growl on his lips. Hale put up his hands, but Ruck laid his older brother flat on the ground in moments. Ruck straddled Hale, his arms moving like pinwheels. The sound of his fist digging into Hale’s face was a sickening thwack. My blood heated in my veins, wanting vengeance just the same.
But our omega was upstairs, all alone again.
“What are you doing?” I shouted at them both, but the scuffle was over before it really started.
Ruck slammed his palms on Hale’s heaving chest and roared at him. “Fight, damn you. Fight like the alpha you are.”
Hale shook his head, blood trickled from his nose.
“She could have died, Hale. I-I don’t even know how she didn’t.” Ruck bracketed Hale, his face twisted with devastation. “She chose the wildlands, and who can blame her?”
Hale stared unblinking at Ruck, his hands loose in the dirt. He crumbled in pieces, righteousness melting away into the swirling dust.
“I can’t. This is my fault. I know it.” His desperate gulp was audible. “Fuck, everything is a mess, and it’s my doing. If I could just…let it go…I would, but she’s like a hook in my heart. I want to love Esta like she deserves, but all I can see is her designation.”
Ruck swung his leg off Hale and leaned down to pull Hale out of the dirt. My big brother had always held a golden sheen in my eyes. I modeled my spine on his, whip straight and respectful. I’d spent most of my years idolizing him, not my father. Who was a man with many flaws, but Hale didn’t see them. There was always a part of me that wondered if one day he would find flaw in me as well. He saw me as evidence, not of my father’s weakness, but of the mysterious power an omega held. Claudia broke him with her actions, but he’d been shattered long before her.
My father was a charismatic, powerful alpha. Much like Hale in certain ways. He drew people to him in flocks with his full smile and booming laugh. If I’d grown up with the echo of that laughter in my ear, the powerful ease at which he moved through the world, maybe I would believe his lies as well. That he was seduced against his will.
But I didn’t, and I knew the lengths men went to spend just one hour with my ma. She didn’t care for people, including me. We were all expendable unless we got her what she truly valued.
Material frippery. Jewels. Dresses.
She had an entire room dedicated to her nest, and it was swollen with soft blankets, shiny trinkets, and items fit for a queen, not a woman who sold her body. My stomach clenched when I thought of Esta’s sorry excuse for a room and a nest.
We’d failed her in so many ways. But not any longer.
“I ain’t letting you send her off. I know she’s yours by law, but I’ll fight for her. She’s so sweet, she’s so good.” I said, my throat tickled with emotion.
Hale stared at the ground. His jaw ticked.
“Are all alphas the same? Don’t you remember Maddog Moony? That feral alpha was a plague. You couldn’t walk past the general store in the afternoon without him leaping out and attacking. We aren’t all like him, are we?” Ruck tried to get through to him.
It hurt us both to make this choice. Hale was always the voice of reason, the compass of this family.
But in this, he was wrong.
“Esta’s stayin’, and if you have something to say, now’s the time. Ruck and I—we won’t let her go.”
I wanted to rage at Hale, but my throat was too tight. Hale scuffed the ground with his boot. His nose was swelling, and a ruby trickle paved its way down his face. It soothed the rampant need I nursed to destroy him. I’d never tasted such hungry rage. It made me bounce on my toes. I wanted him to hurt, just like I wanted to crush him in a hug, like Ruck did. Their fury forgotten in the strength of their brotherhood.
“You will make it right with her, brother.” Ruck squeezed Hale’s shoulders.
Hale bounced a solemn look between us, eyes like river pebbles. “You love her,” he breathed as if realizing for the first time. Ruck puffed himself up but quickly saw Hale wasn’t angry, only thoughtful. I rubbed my hands down my goose-bumped arms. Now was when the shame would flood into me for the long-held secretive torch I held for Esta.
She wasn’t mine, never would be. But it didn’t come.
I loved Esta, and it felt good to admit it.
“Yes,” I nodded.
“I wish I could have married her. I would have treated her right,” Ruck jerked his head up.
I held this velvet-soft emotion like a secret jewel in my chest for so long. Tried to fight it, shoved it down in the dark recesses of my body. I shouldn’t covet my brother’s wife. But he gave her to me. He walked away and begged Ruck and me to take his place.
If this were the old times, we would have formed a pack, but things weren’t so simple anymore. Hale’s cheeks hollowed as he sucked in a chagrined breath. If he’d treated her right, I wouldn’t have experienced the blessing of her skin on mine, of her morning sun smile spreading warmth in my direction.
She was a home like I’d never known.
“What happens now?” Hale asked for help once more. Our proud, strong, responsible leader. I planted one hand on Hale’s shoulder and another on Ruck’s and squeezed. Hale must realize Esta was staying. There would be no return to Breton City, no mad escape into the wildlands.
“Esta’s not leaving,” I grunted.
I’d fight, fist and word until he agreed. But this would stop here, today, in the frigid, almost winter. The snow would be here soon. It would drift across the land and turn everything white and silent. Life slowed down as much as it could on a ranch. There were still jobs but also long days trapped in the main house, playing cards and reading. It would be the perfect chance to heal. We needed that more than anything.
“You need to move into the house before the cold comes,” Hale read my thoughts.
“Esta needs warmth, she needs stability, and you’re going to give it to her, right?” Ruck prodded.
I couldn’t take another breath without knowing the animosity toward Esta would end. Hale’s chin hit his chest.
“You might love her now, but I loved her first. That’s why I’m all twisted up, like a rotten tree root trapped in the ground. Even the word omega makes my stomach turn. How can I ever get over this? It’s like a slumbering poison in my veins, killing me with each breath.”
My heart ached for him, for all of us. But I ground my teeth together with a determined gnash.
“We damn well try.”