On Loverose Lane (Return to Dublin Street #1)

49. Callan

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

CALLAN

“ I think you’re more nervous than I am.” I tugged on Beth’s hand as we approached her family’s house on Dublin Street.

Beth huffed. “I’m not. I … my family can be a lot, and I don’t know who’s all going to be here today. Don’t … don’t let them chase you off, okay?”

Guilt shifted through me. I hadn’t exactly been sunshine and roses to be around the last few days, and I hated the insecurity in my girlfriend’s voice. Gavin had really fucked with my head, on top of Braden’s warning to keep him out of Beth’s life. I despised that I was associated with him. That there was even a possibility of him contaminating Beth’s life.

“Not going to happen,” I promised her.

“I feel good about it. I haven’t had a Sunday roast in ages,” Baird announced as he strolled at our side up the hill.

Beth snorted. “You can be relaxed all you want. You’re the handsome goalie come to dinner. Our relationship”—she gestured to me—“however, will be under inspection by all.”

“You think I’m handsome.” He winked at her.

“Cool it,” I warned.

“So possessive.” Baird clasped a hand to his chest, dramatically. “I’m affronted you’d even think I’d do more than casually flirt with Beth.”

“How about not flirting with my girlfriend at all?”

My mate considered that. “Sorry. She’s gorgeous. It’s in my nature to flirt with attractive women.”

“Aye? It’s in my nature to smack you in retaliation. See how handsome you are with your right eye swollen fucking shut.”

“Is it just me, or does he mean that?” Baird whispered in mock fear.

“I’m going to kill him before we even get inside,” I muttered.

Beth laughed under her breath as we walked up the steps to the front door.

Baird leaned into Beth. “Will your cousin Maia be here by any chance?”

“She’s engaged. Off-limits.”

“Not until there’s a wedding ring on her finger.”

“You saw her once at a club,” Beth huffed, but a smile teased her lips as she let us into the house. “Are you really that shallow, Baird? I don’t think so.”

“It wasn’t just because she was, like, the most stunning bird I’ve ever seen in my life?—”

“Please don’t call women birds ,” Beth begged with a groan.

“—there was something about her. I can’t put my finger on it.”

My girlfriend rolled her eyes. “Aye, it’s called wanting to shag someone.”

I snorted and my pal shot me a wounded look.

“It was more than that,” he insisted.

“And who do we have here?”

We jerked our gazes toward the hallway where an extremely attractive woman with Beth’s hair color, eye shape, and lips stared at us.

It had to be her mum.

“Mum.” Beth released me to hug her. Then she turned, gesturing to me. “This is my boyfriend, Callan. And his friend, Baird. This is my mum, Joss.”

Joss wore a small smile as she reached out a hand to me. “Glad to meet you, Callan. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You too.” I was a bit stunned by how much Beth looked like her mother. My girlfriend was quite a bit taller, and they had different eye color, but there was no denying the relation. And if Beth took after her mum, she was going to age like a fine fucking wine.

“Baird McMillan, at your service.” He shook Joss’s hand with both of his, flirt kicking up his lips. “And can I say, it is very apparent where Beth gets her good looks from.”

“I wouldn’t flirt with my mum if I were you.” Beth shoved Baird playfully. “Not unless you never, ever want to work with my dad. Ever.”

Baird whacked me on the arm. “Oh look, you have something in common with Braden.”

“Oh?” Joss raised a quizzical eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“Callan here is a possessive caveman.”

I glowered at my pal.

But Joss laughed. “Maybe you and Braden will get along after all. Come on. Everyone else is already here.”

As Beth and Joss led the way, I whispered to Baird, “If you still want to be alive by the end of this dinner, remember to filter yourself.”

“I’m not that bad.” Baird gaped as we walked through the hall. “Fuck me. Beth grew up here?”

“Aye. Different world, ay?”

“You’re no’ jokin’. How the other half live.” He nudged me playfully. “Imagine what our kids could have if we get Blantyre Castle up and running.”

Kids.

How could I want a future that included kids with Beth so much, but at the same time be terrified of the thought?

Beth returned to my side, looping her arm through mine as we wandered into the massive family kitchen.

The smell of roast chicken and herbs filled my senses as the noise hit my ears. People. People everywhere. At the island. Sitting around the dining table. Standing sipping on drinks, chatting. It was like a party.

“Oh my goodness.” Beth drew to an abrupt halt. “Almost the whole bloody family is here!”

We were barely in the room fifteen minutes when Beth got pulled away and I found myself encircled by her uncles. There were her older uncles, whom she’d introduced as Adam, Cam, Nate, and Marco, and her slightly less older uncles Cole and Logan. Braden stood in the middle of them next to Marco, admittedly a huge bloke who looked like he could crush even Baird with his bare hands.

“So … you’re the footballer.” Adam broke the awkward and intense silence.

“Aye.” I nodded, taking a swig of the Diet Coke Beth had plonked in my hands before her aunts and cousins whipped her away.

“Did you know Cam, Nate, and Cole here are black belts in judo?” He gestured to the dark-haired gent and two of the three tall blonds in the group. One of them, Cole, I think, had a full sleeve of tattoos.

“Beth mentioned it.”

“And Marco, he’s a big guy, as you can see.”

I saw where this was going.

“True.”

“And Beth’s Uncle Logan, he’s done some time. In prison.”

I tried not to let my surprise show as the bearded blond directly on my left glared at me sullenly.

Adam blew out a breath between his lips. “Aye, between the seven of us, I’d say we’re proficient in knowing how to kill a man, bury the body, and get away with it.” He nodded at the men who all considered this and nodded back in casual agreement.

I tried not to laugh because I knew they were serious and could probably actually kill me. But I liked that Beth had this. All these people who cared enough to want to protect her.

“Duly noted.” I raised my glass to them. “There’s a Dalmarnock player I hate with a fucking passion and one day … knowing you all might prove useful.”

Marco’s lips twitched. “I like him,” he decided before wandering off to slide in beside a tall, curvy blond woman whom Beth had introduced as her aunt Hannah.

“Aye, he’ll do.” Nate clapped Braden on the shoulder and he, Cam, and Cole raised their glasses to me in turn before backing off.

Braden looked at Adam.

Adam apparently was not so easily assured. “We’ll see.”

To Baird’s disappointment, Beth’s cousin Maia was not in attendance, but he still managed to piss off Beth’s uncles by flirting outrageously with all their wives. He also pissed off Beth’s brother’s boyfriend. Her brother Luke’s eyes lit up at Baird’s presence. Turned out Luke played amateur football and was a Caley United supporter. Baird was his favorite player. And he flirted outrageously with my mate. Even though Baird only swung one way, he was not averse to compliments. He flirted back for fun.

Afonso looked ready to commit murder, so it was a good thing when Braden approached me and Baird before dinner was about to be served and asked to talk to us in his study.

It turned out he’d been thinking on our plans and was so impressed with our proposal that he wanted to partner up with us to turn Blantyre Castle into a hotel and spa. It wasn’t what we’d discussed, but I could tell Baird was excited at the thought. Honestly, it would probably be stupid not to take Braden up on the offer. Not just because we could use his financial investment, but because we could use his expertise, experience, and contacts taking on such a massive project.

If there was a question mark over my head about whether it was smart to get into business with my girlfriend’s dad, I didn’t let it show. But as we returned to eat dinner, the worry plagued me.

As I took my seat at the table, more than that gnawed at me. It was crowded with Beth’s aunts and uncles and a few of her cousins. There were four younger kids, and they were the noisiest. A couple of teens talked among themselves. Beth said not all the teens were there, only the younger ones. But her cousin Lily who ran the podcast at the uni was there with her sister January, and the girls were a stunning mix of their parents.

It shocked the fuck out of me that the Lily Beth said was shy with men was an absolute knockout. I’d expected someone mousier, but the Lily at the table fit the voice behind the podcast better than the person Beth had built up in my mind. They were close, she and Beth. Beth sat chatting away to her and her sister with ease, and the way the sisters looked at their cousin was akin to hero worship. I got that. I kind of fucking hero-worshipped my girlfriend too.

Pressure built in my chest.

I’d never had this level of family before, but I’d had a family who sat around the dinner table, laughing and joking. And I knew what it was like to have it abruptly snatched away.

It seemed almost masochistic to let myself be pulled into Beth’s family (and they were doing their best to make Baird and me feel like family, despite the earlier threats from the men), knowing if I lost her, I lost all this too.

I found myself withdrawing, even though I didn’t want to, even though I knew Beth could feel it and I could sense her hurt and anxiety.

Fuck.

Just before dessert, I excused myself to use the bathroom.

I tried to get myself together. To shake off my fears. I slapped cold water on my face and towel-dried it. “Get your shit together,” I snarled at my reflection.

Then I stepped out of the bathroom to find Joss Carmichael leaning against the opposite wall.

“Hey.”

I frowned. “Hi?”

“Can we talk?” She nodded toward a doorway on her right, and I reluctantly followed her into the study I’d been in earlier with Braden.

“Everything all right?” I asked, slowly drawing to a stop as she turned to face me.

Joss leaned against the desk, body language casual, expression neutral. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Fuck. Was my weirdness so obvious at the table? “I’m fine.”

“It’s a lot.” Joss gestured toward the door. “Our family. I know because it was a lot for me at first, and that was before we grew to this size.”

“It’s nice. I’m glad Beth has this.”

“You could have it, too, if you wanted.” Joss cocked her head, contemplating me. “Or is that the problem?”

I didn’t want to be rude to Beth’s mum, but I couldn’t do this with her. “I should get back.”

“You know, I know about your parents.”

“Aye, most people do.” I turned to walk away.

“Everyone’s situations are different. We grieve differently.” Her words stopped me, and I turned back to her as she continued, “But I’m sure Beth has told you about my family. How I lost them when I was fourteen.”

I nodded, feeling my chest tighten.

“I was at school and my parents had vacation time. They were taking my little sister, Beth, for a drive. A motorcyclist came off his bike and my dad swerved to miss him. But he swerved into a truck that was going too fast. They all died at the scene.”

Horror and sympathy filled me. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” She nodded. “I know you are. Because you know exactly what that feels like. You know, I thought the only way I could deal with the immensity of that loss was by not dealing with it. And so when people came along who wanted to love me and be a part of my life, I pushed them away.”

I flinched at her pointed tone.

“I put Beth’s dad through a lot when we first met. I let my fear of caring that much about someone again keep pushing him away. And the mistake I made was convincing myself that I could push him away without hurting him because he couldn’t possibly need me the way I needed him. But he did need me. And I really hurt him.”

Beth’s mum shrugged uncomfortably, and I knew from what Beth had told me this was out of character for Joss Carmichael. To be this vulnerable with anyone, let alone someone she didn’t know that well. “We’ve been married for over two decades, and I still feel like shit for what I put him through. I’m really lucky that he loved me enough to fight for me. And Beth …” Joss reached out to squeeze my biceps. “She gets that from her dad. That fight. She will fight for you until it breaks her. And you’ll hate yourself for hurting the one person you love the most. Because you love the hell out of her. I’ve been watching you with her since you got here, and you love my girl.”

It felt like a weight crushing down on my chest. “But are you telling me to walk away?”

“No.” She leaned into me, eyes flashing. “I’m telling you that I get what it’s like to want to protect yourself from that kind of loss again. Instead of pushing and pulling with Beth?—”

Had Beth told her that’s what I was doing? Fuck, was that what I was doing?

“—make the decision now not to let the fear control your life. Because we don’t know what’s going to happen from one day to the next. But I can tell you this—I wouldn’t give up this beautiful life I’ve made with my husband. Even if I lost him tomorrow. It would destroy me to lose him, but fuck, I’d be grateful for the days I got with him and the family we created.”

I nodded slowly, understanding. “I get it. She’s worth it too. I know she’s worth it. I … I don’t want to hurt her.”

Joss exhaled and straightened. “I know you don’t know me well and I’m hoping that’ll change with time … but until then, I’m here. You know, if you have a bad day and the fear is getting the best of you, you can pick up the phone and call me. Because I get it.”

And it hit me at that moment.

This was family.

It’s what family did for each other.

And Beth’s family was offering that to me. Merely because she loved me.

“Thank you.” My gratitude was sincere.

“Hey!” Beth suddenly threw open the study door. Her eyes were searching. “Everything okay in here?”

I smiled at Joss and crossed the room to slide an arm around Beth’s waist. I kissed her temple. “Everything’s great, princess.”

She relaxed against me, expression questioning but also hopeful. “Yeah?”

“Absolutely.”

“Let’s go have some cake.” Joss clapped her hands and then shooed us out the door. “Momma needs some chocolate and a big ol’ glass of wine.”

We strode together back into the kitchen and as soon as we appeared, Beth’s outgoing cousin January yelled across the din of conversation to us. “Why haven’t you two gone Instagram official?”

“Jan,” Beth huffed. “You don’t just ask people that.”

“Why not?” January, an eighteen-year-old stunner who had less of a filter than Baird, crossed her arms over her chest. “You’ve been in the tabloids. Callan has two hundred thousand followers, and a lot of the comments are people drooling over your man, Beth. You should claim him.”

Lily shook her head with a groan. “You read too many MC romance books.”

Beth burst out laughing but turned to me, humor lighting her eyes as she asked, “Why aren’t we Instagram official?”

“I’m letting you lead the way. We can post our relationship on socials if you want. I’m quite happy to let the world know you’re mine.”

“Awww,” January and Baird cooed in unison. She shot my mate a far-too-interested look after that. Baird pretended not to notice. He might be a massive flirt, but girls under twenty-one were a no-go for him. He reckoned they didn’t understand the game of casual sex and didn’t want to hurt someone unintentionally.

Beth tugged on my hand. “Really?”

“Really.”

“I’m ready when you are.” She leaned up to press a kiss to my jaw.

I thought of everything Joss had said to me in the study. She was right. There was no one in this world I wished to hurt less than Beth. If I hurt her, it would probably hurt me worse. It was time to stop the fear from messing us about and just be with her. Make the decision to just be with her. The thought of the alternative made me feel so fucking empty, it was agony, so what was the point in pushing her away? Self-sabotage? Aye, I wasn’t into that.

“Let’s do it.”