One Last Chance (Venusverse #1)

10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Dayton

I stare at the white hospital floor while nervously chipping off the polish from my nails. The doctors said Rowland will most likely be fine, but they’re doing some more tests. I should probably get going. I’m not family, so I can’t be in the room, and Rowland’s actual family is on the way.

Or maybe I should wait at least until they turn up, to make a better impression than the last time. They all just saw me run out of the house like some emotional teenager.

I glance at the clock. It’s late, yet I don’t really feel tired.

It’s as if I’m still running on pure satisfaction from what Rowland said to me. I keep replaying his words over and over in my head. No matter the serious situation, it makes it hard to stop smiling like an idiot.

And it feels good, in a pretty morbid way, that we both have our issues. That I’m not the only one painfully self-aware and self-conscious of this part of myself. Because for people like us, it means a lot.

It’s everything, really. Compatible pheromones are everything for alphas and omegas, no matter what people say. I learned that the hard way.

So…could Rowland really be it?

I snap my back straight when someone pushes through the door at the end of the hall. The stampede of heels clacking against the floor, as well as two additional, quieter pairs of shoes, is Rowland’s mother and his two children, rushing right toward me.

“Oh, there he is. Dear.” The woman, certainly a bit older than my parents, but as well groomed and presented as I would expect from Rowland’s upbringing, stops by me, eyes wide. “Thank you so much for calling us and getting my son here,” she blurts, clasping my hand.

I shake her hand with a smile before shifting my attention to the kids.

The girl stares at me, thick, straight brows lowered in the most hostile expression I have ever seen from a young kid, while the boy holds her hand and studies me intently.

“I remember you,” he says, big eyes wide with a spark of pure innocence.

“Yeah, I saw you in the car. Hello.” I try to make the best first expression to him at least, so I kneel and shake his little hand. “You must be Mac.”

He is freaking adorable .

“Yeah!” He grins, showing the gaps in his teeth, but his attention turns to the door his grandmother is eyeing next to us in a split second. “Is Daddy in there?”

“That’s what I’m going to figure out. He’s going to be okay, but let me talk to the doctors first, alright? He might be tired, so wait for me here before you barge in,” she says towards the boy, and then shoots a quick glance to the girl, Mina, as if to ask her to watch over him.

It’s starting to feel like I shouldn’t be here, so I nervously tighten my shoulders, putting my hands in my pockets. “I…should probably get going. Before you go, here are the keys to Rowland’s car.” I hand them to his mother, who turns to me with a surprised ‘oh’. “I drove it here behind the ambulance. It’s parked behind the hospital, by that big crooked tree.”

“Thank you so much, dearie.” With a warm smile, she squeezes my hand with both of hers before taking the keys. “You don’t have to leave. Stay if you can, but I know it is late. I’m sure Rowland will be happy to see you when he’s better. Let me find out what exactly is going on,” she says and opens the door. Before entering, she turns to me briefly. “Thank you again, and I’m glad to have met you properly, Dayton.”

The door closes and I’m left in the hall with the kids.

I turn to them, finding Mina with the same judgy expression as before. I feel like I’m in high school again. Jeez.

“There’s a…there’s a vending machine right there around the corner. I can give you some coins for a snack, if you want? It’s late, so you must be hungry.”

“Daddy says we shouldn’t eat sweets after the sun goes to sleep,” Mac mutters, but the spark in his eye tells me he is very much a fan of my suggestion.

I dig in my pockets to find enough coins to buy something at least, and kneel to him with a mischievous smile, presenting them. “What daddy doesn’t know won’t hurt him, hm?” I wink. “If he finds out, tell him it was my idea, and I’ll take responsibility.”

Without a second thought, Mac grabs the money and energetically drags Mina with him around the corner. She seems as annoyed as any teenager would be, sighing at her brother’s intensity, but follows him.

One part of me wants to leave, while another feels this might be the perfect time to try forging a bond with the girl. To at least let her know I didn’t hold what happened last time against her.

I stand a few feet behind them and lean against the wall while Mac scans the vending machine for what he wants. Mina meets my eyes in the reflection of the machine's plastic window before turning around.

“You’re not special, you know?” she says, in a voice so cold it makes me pause.

I blink sharply. “Wh-what?”

Mac turns around slowly, but Mina points at the machine, making him face it again. She then makes a step toward me, and I swear I have never been so scared of a little girl in my life. There is this…adult, raw hatred in her eyes as she looks at me.

“You’re just like the other omegas my dad screws around and does gross things with. Omega whores like you that had him leave mom. Just because she isn’t like you. Messed up and disgusting.”

In silence, I stare at her, at a loss for words. The humming hospital light somewhere in the hallway echoes in my head and changes into a high-pitched buzz at the back of my skull.

I can’t believe the resolution she just spoke with.

“I…I think I want this one,” Mac mutters, nearly whispers, kneeling by the vending machine, carefully looking at us over his shoulder.

Like the most vile, fucked up words didn’t just come out of her mouth, Mina turns around on her heal and helps Mac put the money in. As the coins fall into the mechanism, they follow the loud, echoey pounding of my heart. I finally manage to move, blinking sharply and stepping aside.

All I can make my body do is take another unsteady step, and another, until I am walking through the hallway and towards the staircase that leads outside of the hospital. I tighten and flex my fingers as I take each step down, still trying to digest her words.

I’m hurt and angry and shocked by what she said. Not hurt because of what she said, or that I believe it, but because it leads me to a realization that I can’t ignore.

No matter what I feel, or what Rowland feels, what matters is his family. That little girl isn’t ready for anyone like me to be around. If I chase only my happiness and what I want from Rowland, it will end in hurt. Not just for me, but for them. And that would make him hate me in the end. Which is the last thing I want.

No—It would be so much better if I just faded away. Without some big scene. Without break ups or drama. No matter the sharp pain radiating through my chest, I have to do the right thing and give up the best person I’ve ever met. Even if I wish it were, it isn’t the right time.

At the bottom of the stairs, I slide down with my back against the wall and put my face in my hands. “Fuck…”

?

“I’m really glad you decided to come out with us.”

Joane’s voice pulls me out of my head. I blink, quickly adjusting my eyes from staring into the distance, and quickly smile at her.

“It’s been nice,” I say, hoping doing so out loud will convince myself as well. There is nothing to hate about this evening. Joane’s friends are all young, hopeful and friendly. A stark contrast to the boring, middle-aged community at work. It’s been a while since I went out for drinks with a group like this and it’s not half bad. It reminds me of my days at college.

There’s an empty plate with bones from the ribs I had with some baked beans and salad. Everyone else seems to have finished their food as well, and the drinks keep coming.

I’m on my…what, fourth one?

“You know,” Joane whispers, leaning towards me playfully, “Aaron there has been eyeing you the whole evening. He’s a beta, if that matters to you,” she adds, still a little awkward around the whole topic for no reason.

Discreetly lifting her finger as she holds her glass up in front of me, she darts her eyes toward the tan hunk of a man a few seats to the side of us. He’s handsome. In an online model, perfectly attuned to the current beauty standards kind of way.

Like he can sense we are talking about him, his dark blue eyes flicker toward me and flash me a smile. I smile back and lift my drink, taking a sip.

“How old is he?” I ask with my lips against the glass.

“Twenty-five, I think,” she responds.

I widen my eyes, snorting into the glass. “My god.”

“Come on.” Joane pokes me in the ribs with her shoulder but leaves it at that, joining a chat with the girl next to her.

I look into my glass and then back up at Aaron. Young guys don’t really do it for me, but he’s nice to look at. He seems like he could do well at cheering me up. Past few weeks have been tougher on me than I expected. Stupid, really.

With another sip, I finish my drink and pull out my phone.

I am such a masochistic idiot. Each time I unlock the screen, I expect a message. Even though it was me who responded to him less and less, shorter and shorter, until finally…Rowland seemed to have gotten the message. My last text was read and sits with no response.

Staring at it, I get that sharp sting across my chest again, so I quickly put my phone away and decide to make something out of this evening, at least. The next time Aaron’s eyes find me, I meet his gaze confidently. He wants me. I can tell without pheromones or all that stuff. And I suppose I want him.

We don’t get a moment together until later, after most of the group had already dispersed. With Joane safely in a taxi with her friends, I find Aaron smoking at the back of the restaurant by the closed-off garden area.

I hate smoking. So I step toward him and carefully put my index finger below and my middle finger above the cigarette, sliding them from the burning tip all the way to his mouth. The gesture works as well as I hoped it would—he pauses, eyes wide and filled with lust. If he were a venus, I’m sure I could sense his pheromones responding to me at this exact moment.

I use that moment to pluck it from his lips and throw it on the ground, stepping on it. His lips are against mine when I blink, and as we twist our tongues together, I do my best to ignore the gross taste of his cigarette.

We’re both buzzed and the back alley is quiet—and reasonably not-disgusting—so we dance toward it, twisting together and touching each other. He presses me against the wall and I gasp between our kisses as his crotch rubs against mine.

Yes, good. Distraction. Focus on the physical.

I run my fingers through his short coily hair, and wonder how I got into this situation. Hooking up with someone I don’t really know in some back alley like an animal. I only do stupid fucking things like this when I’m desperate.

And I’ve been desperate. Depressed. Empty.

But even as Aaron moans into my ear and inches his hand toward my ass, none of that changes. The desire barely scrapes at the edges of those dull, low feelings that have been following me. Because he's not the one I want.

"W-wait," I mutter, pushing gently against his shoulders and facing away. He hesitates, the warm hands that have been making their way underneath my pants halting.

I feel like such an idiot.

"Did I do somethi—"

Unintentionally, I let out a sharp chuckle. "No." I'm not laughing at him, but at what a ridiculous, gigantic mess I am. Aaron's distressed face reminds me that he doesn't know that, so I quickly put my hands together with an apologetic frown. "I'm sorry, I…I think I'm still hung up on someone," I admit with a huff, biting down at my lower lip as I move away from him.

He exhales deeply and takes a step back. "God, why does this always happen to me," he mutters while hanging his head down, hands resting on his hips.

I feel fucking awful and I sympathize with him more than he could ever know. Usually, I’m the one being rejected, so this is beyond strange to me. "I'm sorry. I never should've… I was just… I can't." I keep mumbling, hoping that any of my words can make the embarrassment and hurt he feels sting a little less.

I don't know if it's this shitty situation or the horrible realization that I can't get over Rowland even though our relationship barely started that causes me to get all jittery.

What the hell is wrong with me?

"It's-it's fine," Aaron says hesitantly as he runs his hand through his hair.

Any other time, I would have liked him. I would've enjoyed his company and this little carnal distraction. I would've let him enjoy himself and give me meaningless pleasure in turn, but now, there's a barrier inside me making that impossible.

"Just… Don't worry about it." He tries to smile, to act like it means nothing, even though I can tell it does. But what is there to say? What else is there for me to do?

We share an awkward glance before he nods and makes another step away, nervously looking around the empty alley. "You need…um, need me to—"

"I'm okay. I-I'm fine getting home, thanks," I say quickly. I'm grateful for him not pushing it further—not forcing himself onto me like someone else might—and I want to voice that, but Aaron sharply clears his throat, rubs the back of his neck, and starts walking away. The situation is messy enough already for me to subject him to more. "Sorry," I whisper, unsure if he even hears me.

And here I am. Alone, again.

I take a deep breath, drawing in that unexplainable, cool scent of the night city. There are no stars when I look towards the sky, only endless darkness.

Closing my eyes with a tired sigh, I lean my head back against the wall and fight the tears that are pushing their way out. This is ridiculous. I know it is. But my heart feels like an erupting volcano of emotions I can’t control. It’s like I’m a freaking teenager again.

I slide down with a bitter smile on my lips, wishing upon the stars hidden somewhere far above for things to be different for once.

If only I was the type to believe that .

If only it were so easy…