Chapter 10
In the summer, Molly’s is always busy, so I book us a table. We drive the familiar road down to the village, and I can’t help but feel giddy about sharing this with Jeremy.
We park in the village, walk down to the beach, and into the diner. It’s bustling with people, some still hanging out after a day at the beach. We’re shown to a booth, and we slide in opposite one another. I’m strangely nervous about Jeremy’s opinion. He’s from a completely different world to this, but I’m sharing a part of my life with him and don’t want it to be underwhelming.
“Cool.” He picks up the menu, but I already know what I’m having: a burger with the works. It’s about time I indulged in something pure, simple, and satisfying.
“There’s no competition for food here. You’ve got to get the burger. The only real choice is your milkshake. What’s your indulgence, Mr?”
“Okay. Well, I think a place like this would venture further than your traditional chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla, so what do you recommend?”
“Nope. This is a pivotal part of the relationship. No interference, just your first-choice shake.” He knows I love my chocolate fudge ice cream, and the shake is nearly as good as that here, but I don’t know what his choice will be. Getting to do this and learning another small piece of information about him makes my heart sing. Like I’m building the real picture of him, for me, and only me.
“Okay. I would have to go for the banana.”
“Seriously?” I scrunch up my nose.
“Yep.”
“With a cheeseburger and fries?” I clarify, checking if I’ve missed something. Banana is my least favourite.
“Why not?”
“Okay, it’s your order.” I sit back. The waitress comes and we both order the ‘dirty burger’ with fries and our choice of shakes. It’s busy, and we take in the hustle and bustle.
“This place is kinda quirky.”
“If by quirky you mean pretty cool, I agree,” I say confidently.
“What is it? It’s like a shop, takeaway, and restaurant under one roof.”
“Tregethworth is a small place. I guess it works for Molly.”
“The owner’s called Molly?”
“Yeah. It’s called Molly’s Diner. It’s been here for as long as I’ve been coming to Tregethworth.”
“It’s weird that we’ve spent so many summers so close to each other.”
“Yeah. But maybe this would have happened sooner if you’d spoken more than three words to me in the last few years. Meeting last year was still just a coincidence,” I tease.
“Maybe.” He shifts in his seat and looks out the window. I wonder if I said the wrong thing, even though it’s what I believe. But after last night and his grand gesture, I leave it.
Luckily, the shakes arrive, and I distract myself with the chocolate goodness.
“So?” I prompt, nudging his tall glass towards him.
He places the paper straw between his lips, and I watch, transfixed and feeling a little flush at the thought of where I want his lips to travel on me.
Blinking away my daydream, he rocks his head back and forth. “It’s good.” The smile he gives me washes away the awkwardness of a moment before, and my eyes dip back to his lips again.
“I remember when my mum brought me here for the first time. I’ve had chocolate milkshakes ever since.” It’s a good memory. The milkshakes were bigger, and I’m sure they had more cream and sprinkles on, but I think that might be my memories being distorted by time and the lens of a six-year-old child, desperate to hold onto anything good.
“You aren’t tempted?” He slides his banana substitute towards me.
“No, I’m happy with my choice, and until I grow tired of chocolate, I’m good.”
Two towers arrive, and my mouth waters at the glorious sight. Burgers oozing with melted cheese, tomato, and pickle skewed with a bamboo stick to keep it from sliding apart stand before us.
“Wow.”
“I know.” I size up the stack and try to work out my plan of attack. “From now on, there’s no judgement about how we eat this, okay? Take my word for it. There is no delicate way, we just need to…” I pause as I look up to see Jeremy wrestling the burger and taking his first bite. Burger sauce escapes and drips onto the pile of chips below.
We don’t talk, we just eat, devouring the food with a few nods and appreciative ums, mmms, and licked lips. It feels good in a carefree and frivolous way that anything at the cove would never be able to achieve.
“Oh my god. That was the best,” Jeremy proclaims as he finishes his last bite.
“I told you.”
“Yeah, but everyone says they know a place. That was a great burger.” He picks at the last few fries amongst the debris from the burger mountain.
We order a second shake to go, and I have to snatch the bill from his hand. “No, my treat, remember.” He just raises his hands in defeat as I go to the counter to pay.
We head out and onto the beach with our drinks. It’s a nice evening with the sun dancing behind a few tufts of cloud.
“There, that house along the road is where I normally stay.” I point out the cottage I’ll be calling home after next week. He drapes his arm around my shoulder as we walk along in parallel with the little wall separating the beach from the road.
“About that. Do you think you’ll come back to mine after?”
“Well, I’m not sure. I don’t want to outstay my welcome.”
“You won’t. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope for the rest of the summer without you around.” He leans down and kisses my head.
“Let’s see how the next couple of weeks go. You might be sick of me by then.” The invitation has always been there, but hearing him ask me again was exciting. I just didn’t want to sound desperate.
We finish our drinks, walk the beach, and head back to the car.
“Want to go anywhere else?” he asks.
“Home. I’m so full after Molly’s. Can we just have a film night?”
“Sure.”
As well as my stomach, my heart feels content as we leave, winding up the tiny road out of Tregethworth. Sharing this with Jeremy was important to me, and it was a pretty perfect date if you exclude his taste for banana milkshake.
We pull up, and Jeremy takes my hand as we walk into the house, but instead of a quiet house to ourselves, there are the sounds of shouting and something smashing coming from the kitchen.
As we get closer, I can hear Mr and Mrs Archer in the midst of a blazing row.
“You’re out of control, Penelope. Get a grip of yourself.”
“Me! Oh, screw you, Jerome!” The smash of china breaking on the floor punctuates her words.
“Mum, Dad?” Jeremy walks in, and they both stop to look at him, shame clear on their faces as they look at him and then me. Mr Archer looks me over as if I’ve done something to cause further irritation, so I pull my hand from Jeremy’s and back away. He doesn’t stop me and just keeps his eyes firmly on his parents.
Stepping softly, I creep out of the side door and into the garden to escape. I don’t need to witness more of their fight — it’s embarrassing enough as it is.
The distance only muffles the voices as they start up again. There’s still shouting back and forth, but now, I can make out Jeremy’s voice in between it all, too. I linger on the deck but decide to take another look down at the jetty. We hadn’t been back since the other day. I leave the garden gate open as a clue to where I’ve gone if Jeremy comes looking.
It’s quiet and peaceful as the evening closes in around me. The sun paints a pink glow in the sky, and the water looks calm and inviting. With the boats and the private homes around, it’s a mile away from the small cottage I pointed out earlier along the beach at Tregethworth. But here, sitting on the edge of the jetty and swinging my legs, I feel the same ease as back there. Maybe it’s the water or just being in Cornwall.
The sun drops, and the dusk turns dark, but I don’t want to go back to the house, so I wait it out a little longer. I could text Jeremy to check but decide against it.
I lie back on the wooden slats and watch as the stars emerge in the sky, waiting to catch a shooting star if I’m lucky.
A few minutes later, Jeremy’s shadow creeps into view. He takes a seat and lies down next to me.
“Sorry you had to see that.” His voice is sombre.
“No, it’s fine.” I can sense there is more he wants to say, so I wait, but the words don’t come. The quiet stretches and the pressure inside my heart to say something to ease him grows.
“The first time I came to Cornwall, I was only small — six, I think. My dad had just left.” I don’t know why I’m telling him this now, but it’s personal, and I want to share something of me with him. “We were meant to be here as a family, but instead of driving here, he drove off. He abandoned me. And Mum. And I never knew why.”
Speaking in the dark feels more intimate, somehow. It is as if the darkness has veiled us in secrecy and removed the normal trepidation.
He reaches out his hand and strokes my cheek with the back of his hand before rolling towards me and pulling me against him.
Then he kisses me slowly but with intent, which makes my heart skip and my body erupt in goosebumps. He continues the kiss, his fingers sliding through my hair, and the patience that we’ve been holding onto burns to the ground. He’s pressing against me, rolling me on my back as he straddles my waist while keeping our lips fused together.
My arms wrap around his neck and hold him to me — to make sure he knows exactly where I want this to go — as I feel my body pang with a need to keep going. I run my hand down to his shorts and pull at the button fly.
“Hey, not here.”
“Why?” I complain. “This is our spot. We’re alone.” The urgency and sizzle fade in an instant, and the slow burn towards my first time is starting to get old.
“Because I’m your first, and you deserve more than being taken on the jetty. Come on.” He stands and pulls me to my feet, making sure to keep my hand in his, the pressure fierce and sure. We’re silent on the walk back, but the air between us prickles with anticipation. My breaths are quick and mimic my impatience. We use the back door and walk through the kitchen upstairs, stopping at his door.
“Is this okay?” My heart rushes in my chest that we might finally be doing this. I look both ways, suddenly self-conscious.
“Don’t worry. They left.” He opens the door, and we step into the dark.
I expect him to turn the light on, but he leaves us cloaked in darkness. I can hear his breathing, the warmth of his body so close to mine.
Being in here sends my nerves skyrocketing, but I force them down to the pit of my stomach. I want this.
Jeremy’s hand slides up my arm, and he cradles my face as I reach out to hold his waist. It’s a little awkward. I think we’re both waiting for the other to push things along, but my bravado seems to be shy now that I’m in his bedroom.
“You’re nervous?”
I nod.
“Don’t be. I’ve wanted to do this since the first night we were here.”
He kisses me slowly and deeply, and everything I love about kissing Jeremy soars to the surface, burning the nerves to dust. My hands pull at his T-shirt, and I reach for his warm skin, pulling him closer to me.
It’s enough to kick him into action, and he picks me up and stumbles backwards until we fall onto the bed, squealing as we do. We laugh around our kiss, but it breaks that first awkwardness.
We’re all hands and lips from then on, and I’m grateful for the gloom of the room as we both escape our clothes. Lying on my back, I wait for him to take off my underwear. He’s seen me in a bikini plenty of times, but this is a big step. Nobody has seen me naked, but I want this. I want my first to be with him.
His hand trails across my collarbone and down my chest, sending nerves dancing over my skin. He pushes the strap of my bra down and then licks a trail to my breast with his tongue.
Sensations riot over my body as he pulls my nipple into his mouth, and I gasp and arch at his touch.
“Ohh.” I bite my lip, embarrassed by the sound I make.
“God, you’re so fucking sexy.” He sucks harder, and my body bows under him as if he’s pulling strings I didn’t know I had.
His hand runs south and slips under my knickers and through my folds. “Anna. God, you’re wet.” He rests his head on my chest as his finger pushes at my entrance. It feels tight, but I widen my legs for him, wanting him to keep going.
“I’m going to make sure you’re ready, okay.”
I can’t see his eyes, but I nod.
He pushes in and out, circling and rubbing, and I can feel the muscles in my stomach tighten and tense. It feels good, like there’s something to come.
And then he sits up, pulls his own boxers down, and leans over to the drawer. The crinkling sound paints the rest of the picture, and I’m glad he’s got protection so we can skip the conversation about whether he has or not.
He kneels between my legs and positions his penis where his fingers were.
“Wait!” I push my hands onto his chest. “Put the light on. I want to see you when we do this.”
He scrambles off and reaches for the side light, flooding the room with a glow. “Better?” He comes back and leans over me, kissing me on the nose.
“Much.”
He moves back into the position between my legs and leans down on his arm. “Take a deep breath.” I do, and with it, he pushes into me.
My breath hitches as the pressure grows and stings a little. I look up at Jeremy, who is still and staring at me. His eyes are dark, not like the myriad blues I can get lost in, but then he smiles before shifting and pressing further inside me.
“I’ll go slowly,” he says and nods, lowering his body onto mine and then inching forward and back.
The more he moves, the better it feels, taking the initial pain away.
My hands wrap around his shoulders, happy to run over the chords of muscles, and he lifts himself so I can see him better.
His moves get bigger and more urgent, and his breathing grows laboured. I run my hands through his hair, making sure he’s looking at me — staring at me when it happens.
“God, Anna. Tell me you like this.”
“Yes, I like it. Keep going,” I breathe.
“I want this to be good for you, but I really want to fuck you.”
“Then do it,” I say, desperate for him to get lost in me.
His head drops, but he doesn’t change anything. He keeps gently rocking back and forth.
“Jere, it’s okay.”
He stills, and panic rushes through me.
But then he hoists my knee and pulls me towards him. The position pushes him deeper inside of me, and I gasp, but he steels it with a kiss, silencing me as he starts to thrust back and forth.
“Oh, shit,” I put my hand over my mouth as I adjust and try to relax.
A buzz, like a current, runs through my veins, growing heavy with each jolt from Jeremy.
“Fuck, Anna. Yes. God, you feel so fucking sweet.”
He keeps going and then sits up, pressing himself impossibly deep as he looks down and tenses his jaw.
He lets out a sigh, and his whole body seems to slump.
His hand reaches between where we’re joined, and he rubs over the little bundle of nerves that seem desperate for attention.
As soon as he brushes that spot, my eyes roll back in my head with pleasure. “Holy shit!” I cover my mouth again, but Jeremy keeps working that little spot, charging every nerve, fibre, and atom in my body until I feel like I’m going to break apart at the seams. “Oh, yes, oh, yes!”
“That’s my girl. Fuck, you’re pretty like this.”
My body seems to pulse and throb, and a sated heat washes over me from my toes to my head, and all I want to do is sleep. I let my eyes close with a smile on my face.
Jeremy is talking to me. I think. But I can’t make out what he’s saying, and I don’t really care.