Chapter 11
It’s too warm.
I throw back the covers before I realise I’m not in my bed, and Jeremy’s still asleep next to me. I freeze for a moment before lying back down and facing him. He looks sad when he sleeps. The colour of his eyes is shielded away, and his mouth has a natural downturn. It’s why he looks so moody all the time at school. Pulling my arms to my chest, I watch him sleep, pretty amazed at where I am.
Finally.
I woke a little while after our time together and cleaned myself up in the bathroom, hoping nobody questions the sheets when they’re changed. Then we fell back to sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.
I’ll have to tell Sammy. I might wait for Mum to be here in Cornwall before I tell her, though. The urge is there — to share. But at the same time, it’s Jeremy. He’s the one I think of when I have something exciting to share now. He’s grown into this huge part of my world so fast and so completely. And last night cemented him into my heart.
My smile creeps over my lips as I imagine what our final year at school will be like. Together. But then I panic that this might just be a summer thing. Like last year when we went back to school, and he acted like a jerk.
No. Not this time. Not after all of this.
My heart thuds in confirmation.
I roll onto my back and feel the twinge between my thighs. Stifling a yawn, all I can taste is morning breath, so I sneak out of his room, check the coast is clear, and head back to mine for a shower.
Clean, with minty fresh breath, I dress and head down to breakfast, hoping Jeremy will have woken by now.
Mary already has a spread of breakfast treats out, and I help myself to a coffee and a muffin.
No sign of Jeremy, though.
“Morning, Anna.” Mr Archer walks into the kitchen, dressed in a suit and frowning.
“Morning, Mr Archer.” He looks at me as I smile but holds his stare for way longer than I’m comfortable with. I shift, ensuring I keep my eyes on my food and tear at pieces of muffin. Maybe he wants to say something about last night?
“Hey, morning.” Jeremy comes into the kitchen and dissipates the awkward tension. His face lights up when he sees me, the blue and green of his eyes shining brightly and a grin on his face just for me.
“Jeremy, good,” his father starts, “I wanted to see if you’d come out on the boat today. We’ve not used it yet, and the weather report is good. A little father-son time.”
“Um, sure, if Anna comes.” Jeremy comes to sit next to me at the breakfast bar, his earlier smile gone and the moody version of Jeremy back.
“I was hoping it would be just the two of us. Get out of here for a while.”
“Where’s Mum? And we can do that next week when Anna’s gone,” Jeremy argues.
“I think now would be best.” His dad doesn’t waver.
“It’s fine, we can hang out later. Go with your dad,” I encourage, feeling trapped into being polite.
“No. We don’t need to do it now, and he knows that. He’s just wanting to get out of Mum’s way. I’ll come if Anna comes. She’s not been on a boat before.”
“Anna, would you mind giving us some time?” Mr Archer’s polite, but there’s a threatening tone under the words.
“Sure. I’ll be in the cinema room.” I raise my eyebrows to Jeremy as I leave with my coffee and half-eaten muffin.
The house doesn’t offer many places to eavesdrop, so when I’m clear of the kitchen, I slow my footsteps, hoping to catch a few words before I make my way downstairs. But they wait to start their conversation, so I descend and wait.
Jeremy comes down to find me about twenty minutes later. He looks furious, and the happy, carefree version I’ve come to love is nowhere in sight.
“Everything okay?”
“Fine.”
“Okay. Are you going with your dad?” I don’t say any more but click the remote to start the show.
“What are you watching?” He doesn’t confirm what his answer is, but with his mood, I figure he’ll tell me when he’s calmed down.
“Doesn’t matter. We can change it.” It was some angsty teen drama that, for some reason, I suddenly wanted to indulge in.
“No. Whatever.” He crosses his arms in a sulk. “I’m going to get some breakfast. Want anything?”
“I’ll come. I could do with some more coffee.”
We eat in silence, and the black cloud doesn’t shift from over Jeremy’s head. “You want to go to the beach? Surf? Swim in the harbour?”
“No. Let’s just watch a film, okay.” So, no boat trip with his dad then.
“Cool. No problem,” I agree, sensing the tension in him and not wanting to say the wrong thing.
“Have you decided if you’re staying after your holiday with your mum?”
“Um, well, the rest of the summer is a long time. It’s tempting, but I said I’d spend some time with Sammy and do a few other things with Mum, too.”
His face looks hard as stone as I tiptoe around the offer. I want to, especially after last night, but it feels like it’s all or nothing.
“Fine.” He slams his plate into the sink, the crack of the cutlery echoing in the room.
“Hey, what gives?” Mary comes out of the pantry and scolds him.
“Whatever.” He storms off, and I’m left looking lost at Mary. I shrug and apologise, and instead of going to the cinema room, I go upstairs to my room.
Maybe he should have just gone with his dad.
By lunch, I have to wrestle with myself to stay put and not go and search for Jeremy. I thought he’d come and find me after he cooled off, but no luck. He’s obviously pissed at something, and I hope it’s his dad rather than me, although there’s a nagging feeling that maybe it’s because I turned him down.
It’s not my house, so when I leave the room, it feels a bit like I’m sneaking around. I head to Jeremy’s bedroom first, but he’s not there — he’s not anywhere in the house.
Mary fixes me some lunch, and it feels like the mood from earlier has infected everyone.
It’s nearly dinner time before Jeremy shows his face again.
“Hey.” He’s sullen and edges into the room, his head drooped as he walks into the living room.
“Where have you been? You left me all day.” I keep scrolling on my phone, not giving him all my attention.
“I’m sorry. My dad got to me, and, well, I was mad that you didn’t want to spend the rest of the summer back here. I thought things were going great.” He comes to sit on the side of the chair and runs his hand through my hair. It’s annoying because it immediately calms me.
“They are. It doesn’t mean we need to spend every minute with each other. You ruined our day.” I look up at him to try and make him see. He looks lost, and it chips away at the mood I’d built up at him.
“I’m sorry. I’ve pissed you and my dad off and ended up ruining the day anyway.”
“Do you think everything is going to change when I leave? Because that’s not what I want, but you’re acting like we have a time limit. I don’t get it?”
“I hate being here when it’s just me. This is the first summer I’ve enjoyed.”
“You’re spoilt, that’s all.” I try to lighten the mood. “You’ll be fine for a few weeks. Besides, I’m sure I’ll see you when I’m still in Cornwall. I’ll only be down the road.”
He slides off the side of the chair and kisses my head as he squishes me.
“I promise not to waste any more time.” He lifts me to sit on his lap and gives me his biggest smile, like just being with me can turn his mood around.
“Good. What do you want to do to make it up to me?”
He pulls me towards him to kiss me, and it steals away the last of my anger at him.
The last few days seem to speed up, running down the clock on our time together. The weather is in our favour, and the sunshine keeps us outside and at the beach.
Being so close for this period of time has been intense but in a good way. And there’s been no more tantrums. Instead, we’ve talked, spent time at the beach, and explored, staying out of the way of his folks as much as possible.
They have a big party next week, and I’m a little relieved I won’t be there for it.
However, I already feel that being apart from Jeremy will be harder than I first thought it might be. While things started slowly, I can’t imagine not seeing him every day now.
“What are you doing?” Jeremy asks from the door.
“Packing. Are you still okay to take me to Tregethworth tomorrow, or shall I get Mum to pick me up?” I fold a few of my tops and shove them into my case.
“I’ll take you. I want to spend every last second with you.” He shuts the door behind him.
I stop, look up at him, tilt my head to the side and grin. “Jeremy?”
“It’s our last night.”
“I know.”
“Well, we have the place to ourselves.” His eyes drink me in, and the mood shifts in the room.
“You waited until the last night to come in here,” I tease. “I kinda hoped you’d have snuck in before now.” I stand up and cross towards him.
He doesn’t say anything but stands and stares. His hand trails down the side of my face and sends a race of goosebumps over my skin.
My heart rate speeds up, and my stomach flutters with nervous anticipation. But after our first time, there’s nothing to be nervous about now.
The journey over to Tregethworth is strained. Normally, the last part of this journey is filled with anticipation and happiness, like I’m coming home. But not this time. It’s unsettling, and I don’t like feeling like this.
The one place in the world I’ve always loved is here, ever since we came on our first visit. But today, that sense of ease has vanished, even as Mum stands outside the door to the cottage with a beaming smile on her face.
I jump out of the car and go to give her a hug.
“Oh, I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you’re here.” She squeezes me, and I feel some of the uncertainty leave.
“It’s only been a few weeks, Mum.”
“A few weeks, but the first time you’ve been away from home. Let me be your mum and miss you for a minute.”
“Okay. Are we going to Molly’s?”
“Of course. It’s tradition.”
I pull myself out of her hold and turn to say goodbye to Jeremy. He’s hanging back by the car, but my bags are out already, next to it.
“So, I’ll speak to you soon?” he asks.
“Of course. You can always come here, you know. Put those wheels of yours to good use. You’ll need a break from the fancy food. Molly’s whenever you want.” My words put a smile on his face, and it holds off the pang I feel from saying goodbye. It’s only for a few weeks — it shouldn’t feel like saying goodbye.
“My treat next time, then.”
“Deal.” He steps in, and I’m sure he’s going to kiss me, but his whole body seems to stop before he raises his eyes to look past me. “Tomorrow night?” He puts his arms around me and hugs me harder than Mum did.
“Tomorrow.”
Tregethworth is one of my favourite places in the world. Being here with Mum is a tradition that I never want to break. It’s good for my soul to be here but having a boyfriend down the road is a pull that’s hard to resist. Lazy days soaking up the sun on the beach are suddenly different without him to look at. In fact, everything’s changed, like my world’s off-kilter without him. It’s not the same.
It’s sad. I don’t want to be that girl who drops everything for the boy in her life — but now I’ve got the boy, my view is different. I want to spend my time with him.
Mum knows. She has a forlorn look on her face as though she’s sad about something, but I don’t want to ask her what because I don’t want to feel guilty. The summer used to be the time for us to spend together, but Jeremy has shifted that.
This summer is one for making memories and having the time of my life, and I want to be selfish and take it.
The laid-back and slow pace of our holiday activities is the same as every year, but they don’t offer the same level of contentment. There’s an itch under my skin — in my very blood — that keeps me from fully relaxing, and it’s Jeremy. He’s the constant in my mind and in my heart, but I refuse to let it rule all my actions, and I make sure that Mum feels that she has my attention, too, and that I’m not just waiting for him.
Jeremy joins me for more time than I first thought he would. He’s often outside in the car waiting as I come out of the cottage, even when I’m not expecting him. We find a balance that even Mum is happy with. She even invites him to The Port William for dinner as we celebrate my birthday.
For the rest of our stay, the weather is hot, and the beach is crowded, but with Jeremy next to me on the sand, I don’t care. Thanks to the prolonged exposure, my normally pale skin is about as sun-kissed as it’s ever been.
Mum’s had some success with a new gallery that opened up down the road. Everything has worked out better than I could have hoped for.
Until it’s time to leave.
“Are you nearly ready?” Mum calls up to me as I’m finishing packing.
I come downstairs with my bag.
“Hey, what’s up?” She frowns at me.
“You know Jeremy’s asked me to stay with him for the rest of the summer?”
“Yes, but I thought we agreed that was a lot of time to be spending with him. That coming home and having some space would be good. You’ve been together down here for over a month.”
“Well, I’ve changed my mind,” I state, and I hold my breath as I wait for her response.
She looks at me like she’s figuring something out. “Is there anything I can say that will change your mind?” Her voice is calm, and I know the pause was to stop her first reaction.
I think about that for a moment, but I know I want to do this, so I shake my head.
“Baby,” she grabs my hands and holds them. “Are you sure?”
“I love him, Mum. I want to stay with him. It might be the only summer we get this, and I want to have fun.”
She nods. “I know.” She pulls me against her and hugs me tightly. “Be careful. And phone in all the time, okay? And you’ve got to call Sammy to explain.”
“I will. Promise.”
“Is he on the way, or do you need me to drop you off?”
“I thought he could pick me up after Molly’s?”
“The last breakfast with my daughter.”
“A little dramatic.”
“True. Fine. Let’s get packed up. You can leave your stuff in the car.”
We finish up and walk down for breakfast. I have a grin I can’t shake, and it even rubs off on Mum. She holds my hand as we walk down the street. “Do you still have your bracelet?”
“Of course.”
She picks up my hand and spies the wrapped leather still adorned on my wrist. “Waffles or pancakes?”
“Pancakes, I think. With a milkshake.”
As we take our seats, I pull out my phone and text Jeremy. My decision was a little last minute, but I know it’s what he wants.
Anna
Hey, can you pick me up in an hour? I’ve got a couple of hours and a surprise for you. I’m at Molly’s x
Jeremy
Before you leave?
Anna
Yeah.
Jeremy
Sure.
Mum and I chat and enjoy our breakfast together, and I’m reminded how lucky I am to have a mum who’s so understanding. She gets me — she’s my friend and trusts me. I can’t underestimate that privilege.
“Does Jeremy know your change of plans?”
“No. I hadn’t made my mind up until the last minute.”
“Well, I won’t leave until everything is squared with you two.”
“He’ll be pleased.”
“Okay. And please, express your thanks to his parents. I’ll have to send a thank you of some kind. Any thoughts?”
“Honestly, they have everything, Mum. I’m sure any gesture will be fine.”
As we’re finishing up, I see Jeremy come into the shop. My heart races just seeing him and knowing what I’m going to tell him.
“Go. I’ll pay. You can come get your bags.”
I stand and hug her before skipping over to Jeremy. “Hey, you.” I grab his hand and pull him out of the diner.
“You look happy.”
“I am.” I stand up on tiptoes and kiss him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Do you have any plans for the rest of the summer?”
“Come on, Anna. You know I don’t.” He looks away, and I can’t help but smile at his bad mood.
“Good. Because I’ve changed my mind. I want to come back with you, if that’s still okay?”
I suck my bottom lip behind my teeth and study the confusion that first crosses his face, followed by the realisation of what my words mean. His face lights up, and the look of happiness seems to feed something in my chest. He picks me up and swings me around. “God, I love you, Anna Rose. We’re going to have the best time, I promise.”