14. Maisy
Maisy was glad it had been a busy day.
The morning had started off with Xander and Maisy exercising together. She’d considered canceling, but it seemed better to go on as normal. And anyway, Maisy wanted to spend time with Xander — even though it seemed to be an increasingly bad idea to do so.
The exercise had been followed by a breakfast of fresh fruit and Xander’s famous pancakes from the mix. Then Safa had arrived to take them on a tour around the island in a vintage car, which had been really fun. Maisy had forgotten all her worries and all the awkwardness of the day before as she’d sat in the front seat with the car’s top down, her hair pulled back in a scarf, the island rolling by. She was beginning to think she had a thing for fast vehicles and the wind in her face.
They’d shared a picnic lunch atop one of Kanalea’s dormant volcanoes, then returned to the capital for an afternoon of basket weaving at a local art shop. It had gone very poorly; neither Maisy nor Xander had the dexterity to thread the dried coconut fibers together correctly, and they’d made a mess of things. But they’d also cracked each other up the whole time, which was a relief. As long as they were teasing each other, everything was okay.
This had been followed by dinner on one of Kanalea’s bays, then Safa had dropped them off at a local dance performance. Now, Maisy sat beside Xander, awed by the swaying dancers and the lively music.
She was beyond tired, which was a good thing. Being tired meant that she didn’t have much mental energy left to worry about the future or about Xander. He’d agreed with her last night that he wouldn’t have danced with her like that in the real world. That meant that he didn’t return Maisy’s feelings, which was a good thing, too. She could enjoy the rest of this trip as friends, then return to marry Niko.
There was no getting out of that one, it seemed.
It was all for the best. Even if Maisy’s eyes were beginning to get heavy and she wished she could lean against Xander and rest her head on his shoulder. Even if she wished she could kiss him. Even if she wished, despite herself, that this was really her and Xander’s honeymoon.
The dancers finished with a great flourish and a dramatic wave of the palm fans they’d been carrying, then bowed. Maisy joined the rest of the audience in clapping. The performance really had been wonderful, even if she had been ever so slightly distracted.
“We’re not far from home,” Xander said as they stood, stretched, and filed off the wooden bleachers where they’d sat for the performance. “And it’s a beautiful night. What do you say we walk home?”
Maisy was tired, but a stroll along the beach under the starlight did sound wonderful.
“Okay, I’m in.”
They walked down to the beach, mostly in silence. It was dark, but the moon and stars were bright enough to illuminate where they were walking.
“I think, if we continue along here, we’ll reach the stairs to our villa,” Xander said as they turned towards the cliffs.
“We’ll give it a try.”
They strolled side by side in silence for some time. Maisy listened to the waves lapping against the shore and the sound of tropical birds calling to each other in the trees. It felt very peaceful. She was so distracted by the beauty of the island and her own thoughts that she didn’t notice Xander falling silent. She didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until he said her name, his voice low.
“Maisy.”
Maisy paused. Xander had stopped walking and was standing on the beach behind her.
“Yeah? Is something wrong?”
“Kind of.” He chuckled. “There’s something you should know. Before we leave this island.”
“What is it?” Maisy’s heart began to beat faster.
“I want you to know that I didn’t take Niko’s place in the wedding just to help him. Or even to help you. There was another reason. I took Niko’s place because I always had feelings for you. I wanted to be there for you.”
“You had… feelings for me?” Maisy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She’d suspected that Xander might feel something for her, but she’d never thought he’d say anything about it. Didn’t he know what a bad idea this was? Yet, even though Maisy knew this was going to end poorly, she couldn’t help feeling a rush of warmth and hope at his words.
“Yes. And I still do. Listen, Maisy, I understand that you don’t feel the same way. And I understand that even if you did, us being together would create a lot of problems. I wasn’t planning to tell you, but I thought you deserved to know before we leave the island. Before we go on to our futures.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.” Maisy’s mind was spinning.
“That’s all right. I know I kind of sprung this on you.” Xander gave her one of his classic charming smiles, but there was a shadow behind it. “I know you’re betrothed to Niko. And I know you don’t feel the same way. But I realized that I couldn’t keep this hidden any longer. I was furious when Niko didn’t show up for the wedding, but a small part of me was relieved, too.”
“Xander…” Maisy’s legs felt weak. Despite the near miss on the island while they’d been kayaking, despite all the moments of connection she’d felt, she hadn’t expected this. As always, her mind went first to her duty. She knew she needed to marry Niko — it was what her family and his expected. It was best for everyone. She couldn’t just let them down like that.
But then, Maisy put those thoughts aside. On this honeymoon, Xander had encouraged her over and over to follow her own feelings and to enjoy herself. Maybe tonight was one more opportunity to do that.
When Maisy put aside her duties and thought only of her own heart, the answer was as clear as the starry sky above them. She cared for Xander — deeply. She had for a long time. She’d found him handsome and attractive when they’d met as teenagers. At the time, she’d been much more attracted to him than to serious, dutiful Niko. Maisy had put those feelings aside, but they’d continued to grow despite her. Now, during these last few days in Kanalea, they’d only grown more.
Her feelings for Xander went beyond a simple crush. They weren’t something she could just brush off. And if Xander had been brave enough to tell her how he felt, she could do the same.
“Xander…” Maisy bit her lip. “I have… feelings for you, too.”
“You do?” Xander’s dark eyes widened, and he stepped forward, taking Maisy’s hands in his own. That simple contact sent shivers up her arms.
“Of course I do. How could I not? You’ve always been a ray of sunshine in my life. You make me laugh, you make me think about things in a new way, and I’ve always felt happier when I’m with you. And sometimes I wonder, if you’d been born two minutes earlier, well… everything might be very different.” Maisy blushed. Xander had admitted feelings, but she’d taken it one step further. She wasn’t sure how he’d react.
“Oh, Maisy. Maybe we don’t need those two minutes for everything to be different.” Xander was grinning now. Still holding her hands, he spun her around, their feet leaving tracks on the soft sand. “After all these years, I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
“Me neither.” Maisy stumbled on a patch of softer sand, and Xander caught her around the waist and pulled her close. She was pressed against him, her curves molding perfectly into his muscular chest. He lifted a hand to her cheek and ran his thumb along the top of her cheekbone. It was a relatively innocent gesture, but it made heat flood Maisy’s limbs.
“But Xander.” She reached for his hand and put her own over it. “I’m glad we’re talking about this, but what about our families?” She bit her lip. “What about our duty?”
“You always bite your lip when you’re nervous.” Xander ran his thumb over the curve of her lips, and Maisy felt shivers run down her spine. She wanted to be nearer to him. She wanted, desperately, to feel his mouth on hers. He’d kissed her at the wedding and she’d felt something, despite the situation. If he kissed her now, Maisy couldn’t even imagine how she might feel. Maybe, just maybe, it would be one of those romantic kisses from the books she’d loved as a young girl.
“I’m nervous now.” Maisy looked up at Xander. Those deep brown eyes were looking straight into hers, and she felt as if she might fall into them and leave this whole world behind. And his lips were so close, so tantalizing. They’d stood like this before, but never with this much tension. Never with their feelings in the open.
“Don’t be nervous. I know you’re thinking about all the implications of us admitting our feelings, and trying to determine the best solution. I know you’re thinking of our families and a million other people. But it’s just us here, on this beach, right now. Only think of us.”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” Maisy bit her lip a little harder. The pull of Xander was so strong. It would feel so good to let go of responsibilities and overthinking for just a moment, just for tonight.
“Maybe I can help.” The hand on Maisy’s cheek fell her to shoulder and his other hand, on her waist, pulled her in. “Maisy, I would like very much to kiss you.”
Maisy’s rational mind told her that this wasn’t a good idea, that kissing Xander could have consequences far beyond what she could imagine right now. But her heart told her to take a chance, for once, on a guy who made her feel weak in the knees. A guy who might just be her chance at the “happily ever after” she’d always dreamed of.
Maisy’s heart won. “I’d like that.”
The moment seemed to stretch as Maisy lifted onto her tiptoes and Xander bent his head towards hers. Her heart fluttered with anticipation. For once, there was no time for questions as Xander’s lips captured hers in a kiss that started out gentle and tender. Then Maisy deepened the kiss and it grew passionate. Xander’s hands seemed to be everywhere — on her waist, skimming along her spine, tangling in her hand, always pulling her closer, closer, closer.
Maisy, for her part, felt such a strong wave of attraction that she knew she’d never want to do anything other than kiss Xander forevermore. She’d rarely been kissed before. After a few teenage dalliances, she’d become engaged to Niko and they’d shared little more than a few awkward pecks on the cheek in front of the cameras. But Maisy suspected that, even if she’d kissed a hundred men, or a thousand, kissing Xander would still be unbelievable.
Time seemed to stop as they explored each other. Maisy could faintly hear the crashing of the waves and a faint rustle of wind, but those noises seemed as far away as the stars above. The only thing that mattered was this moment, Xander’s lips on hers, then on her neck, his broad hands on her body.
“Maisy,” Xander whispered into her mouth, and Maisy melted. This was the romance she’d always dreamed of. This was the moment of complete freedom she’d chased. This was it.
Then Xander slowly pulled away. Maisy looked up at him.
“Wow,” he said.
“Wow?” Maisy giggled. “That’s your feedback on our kiss?”
“What do you want me to say?” he asked. “That our kiss was magical? That I never want to stop kissing you? That you’re the most amazing woman in the world?”
“Well, that would be better than ‘wow.’”
“Okay, then. Our kiss was magical. I never want to stop kissing you. You’re the most amazing woman in the world.” Xander kissed her once more. “That’s all true, too.”
Maisy melted into him. Something about kissing Xander felt so right, as though he were the man she’d always been meant to be with. Maybe the twin swap at the wedding had been fate, and it had now led up to this instant.
“What do we do now?” Maisy asked hesitantly. She didn’t want to break the moment, but her worries about everyone else were starting to creep back in.
“More kissing?” Xander suggested. To underscore his point, he leaned forward and gave Maisy another quick kiss that made her knees weak. The more time she spent with him, the more likely it was that she would fall apart into a pile of butterflies and jelly.
“I do like kissing…”
“Then don’t let that beautiful brain of yours start overthinking this.” Xander pressed her against him. His hands were firm, confident, but his eyes were almost pleading. “Let’s just enjoy this moment, okay?”
“Okay.” Maisy would have agreed to almost anything at that point. Agreeing to kiss Xander more was the easiest thing in the world. Sure enough, he bent his head to hers and she kissed him back more than willingly. This time, she was a little braver and she let her hands wander across his broad, muscular back as their lips brushed. Then Xander captured her lips in his in an intense kiss that left Maisy’s head spinning.
When they broke apart this time, Maisy knew that her face was flushed. Her heart was beating hard, like she’d just run a marathon.
“Wow,” she said,
“Exactly.” Xander beamed at her. “Now you know what I mean.”
“I do.”
“I’m just wondering… as lovely as this beach is, perhaps we want to retire to our villa?”
The thought of being alone with Xander in private, in a house with a bed and a couch and curtains she could close, was intoxicating. A small voice asked if Maisy was going too fast, if she shouldn’t consider the consequences first, but it was too late. She had already agreed to just enjoy this moment, and that’s what she was going to do.
“Yes. Let’s go.”
Xander put his arm around Maisy’s shoulders, and she put hers around his waist. Together, they continued down the beach toward the villa.
“I just want you to know,” Xander said as they walked. “Just because we’re going back to the villa doesn’t mean that there’s any pressure to do anything.”
“You don’t want to… um, do anything?” Maisy asked. She drew her lip between her teeth.
“Oh, Maisy.” Xander stopped and spun her towards him. Once again, Maisy was pressed against that broad chest, and once again, she stared into those warm brown eyes. “I want to. But the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable.”
“I want to, too.” Maisy looked away. “I just… well, I know you’ve had more than a few relationships. I don’t know if I’d… measure up.”
“Come on.” Xander gently swayed her in his arms. “You must have figured out why I had a string of casual relationships but not anything meaningful.”
Maisy tilted her head. She didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but her heart ached for what she might hear next.
“Why?”
“Because if I couldn’t have you, I didn’t want anyone else.”
This time, Maisy was the one who initiated their kiss.
It took them a very long time to walk to the villa, even though it was less than a mile away. They kept stopping to kiss or to reminisce on something that had happened years ago through the lens that they’d liked each other all along. Maisy told Xander how she’d gushed to her friends about him after that first visit all those years ago, and Xander shared how painful it had been watching her and Niko get engaged.
“Out on that balcony the night before your wedding, when you thought I was Niko — I wanted to kiss you. I wouldn’t have, of course, but it was hard not to.”
“If you’d kissed me, I would have known right away that you weren’t Niko.”
“Good.” And Xander kissed her again.
By the time they climbed the stairs to the villa and went inside, Maisy was tingling with desire. The nervous voices asking what this meant and what she was doing still ran in the back of her mind, but she was done listening to them. It was time to do what she wanted.
So, when they stepped into the living room, Maisy took Xander’s hand and assembled all the bravery she had in her.
“You’ve been sleeping on the couch for almost a week now,” she said. “Wouldn’t you like to see the bed?”
“Do you want to show me?”
“I do.” And Maisy led Xander into the bedroom. They’d barely stepped over the threshold before they were kissing again, with even greater intensity this time. Maisy had never felt desire like this before. She wanted Xander. He wanted her. That was all that mattered.
Moments later, they were on the bed, Maisy on her back and Xander braced above her. Maisy expected him to speed things up and race towards the inevitable moment when they would give in to the magnetic force that they’d resisted for so long, but instead he slowed down. He paused above her, not yet kissing her.
“You look so beautiful,” Xander said. His voice was low and intense.
“Not really.” Despite the romance of the moment, Maisy wrinkled her nose.
“Oh, yes, you do. That brown, wavy hair. Those deep green eyes… I could look at you forever. I don’t want to forget this moment.”
Maisy cupped his face with one palm. As she did so, she took a mental picture of Xander — his dark brown eyes, his unruly hair, the shadow of stubble on his cheeks, his full lips, the way he was looking at her like she was the only thing that mattered in this world.
“I don’t want to forget this, either.”
Then, finally, so slowly that Maisy began to ache, Xander brought his mouth to hers and began to kiss her again. Slowly, tenderly, as though they had all the time in the world, they began to undress each other. For a long time, they were in perfect harmony in their villa under the Pacific night sky.