Orri (Intergalactic Surrogacy Agency #3)

13. Drills

DRILLS

ORRI

I don't know what foolish thought possessed me to say yes to her request. She didn't know what she was asking. Not really. Otherwise she would never have said such words so innocently. So casually.

Ever since I was a child, ever since I could barely walk, I had been training to be the warrior I am today. Endless drills. Late nights. Early mornings. Sore muscles.

Sweat, blood, and tears.

Not to mention all of the field experience. All the men I'd watched die.

Zannah.

I wince at the thought, the same way I do every time I think of her. But for some reason, it doesn't have quite the same sting it once did. It's still there, of course, but it's like expecting a burn and finding only a comforting warmth.

Strange.

I don't have long to dwell on that thought, however, because Isabella's right there next to me, practicing the movements I showed her and looking up at me with a childlike hope in her eyes.

Fuck. She's too pure for the likes of me. She's hurt and been hurt so much already. She'd never go for a guy like me.

"How'd I do?" Isabella's cheeks are flushed and she's panting. A slight sheen of sweat shines on her forehead, not unlike the way she looks when we...

"Good," I mutter quickly. All too quickly. "Very good. You're learning fast." I only hope she doesn't hear how distracted I am. How much torture this actually is for me.

I have no problem with women warriors. After all, Zannah was one. But with Isabella, every alpha instinct I have screams to protect her. To keep her from harm's way at all costs, not to teach her how to fend off danger without me.

Without me.

That's a punch in the gut, but it's the truth. Once this little experiment of ours is over, we'll go back to our own homes, our own lives. That's the way it had to be.

Even if I lay awake at night cursing my very being for wanting to fill her with my cum so full that she'll never leave, so that she'll bear me many, many children...

"...hands-on." Isabella says something, and I only catch the tail end of it.

Busted.

"Huh?" Now I'm the one stuttering. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"I said, I'm tired of doing these poses. I want to try something more hands-on."

The sheer fire and determination in her eyes unnerves me. I gulp.

Yup. This girl was trying to kill me.

* * *

Grappling with Isabella in order to teach her how to escape a predator's hold has to be either the dumbest idea I've ever had in my life...

Or the smartest.

She's not as strong as an Aesir warrior, of course, but she packs a surprising punch for a human. Her ferocity far exceeds her size, and I have to admit, I'm impressed.

But there's not a lot of time for thinking when your arms and legs are wrapped around the most delicious smelling omega you've met in years...

Isabella pants and strains against my hold, surprising me as she twists her thin wrist away with a torquing motion I can't catch.

"Ha!" She laughs, and for one surreal moment, the sight of her looming over me, grinning triumphantly, is the hottest thing I've ever seen.

I want to see more. I want to bring out that side of her. Two sides were already fighting a war in my head, but seeing this fire in her eyes makes it all the more difficult.

I want to protect her.

No, that's not quite it. Otherwise I wouldn't be rolling on the ground, snarling and pawing at her as she slips out of my hold.

I want to shield her from anyone or anything that may harm her.

That's not it either. I want to teach and pass on my techniques, so that she may grow and protect herself in the future.

It's a normal part of teaching someone. It's normal and natural to want to pass on one's skills. Nothing weird about that. And if there were going to be more attacks — oh, I hoped not — then training the others in basic defense techniques might not be such a bad idea.

Another thought surfaces. It's not the others I'm worried about. Thinking about rolling around in the dirt with any of the other women — or men for that matter — does nothing for me.

But with Isabella, I feel something I haven't felt since...

"Ha, give up yet?" Isabella's straddling me with a smirk on her face, and even though we're both clothed I can already feel my cock hardening beneath my pants. Just a little bit of fabric in the way, and I could be filling her to the brim all over again.

No. Focus.

She leans forward, planting her hands on either side of my head. The silhouette of her hair against the sun brings out a beautiful halo, and when I stare at her flushed face and soft pants of exertion, I do something I haven't done since meeting her.

Make the first move.

My hands shoot out from my sides and knock her off balance. She gasps and falls forward, but I'm there to catch her. I pull her to me and embrace her with a kiss. It tastes like starlight and and sunrise all at the same time.

Like a tiny sliver of sun, trying desperately to break through the clouds...

As she melts into me and I kiss her back, again and again, I ask myself why that is.

Dammit, she feels right .

This wasn't supposed to happen. But how can I deny the way my heart beats when I'm around her? How can I overlook the very feeling in my soul that lights up when we touch?

I nip at her bottom lip and she lets out a little moan before pulling away. She's dangerous.

Just the kind of danger I can't get enough of, apparently.

With a growl, I roll us over so that now I'm the one straddling her. She looks so beautiful like this, hair splayed out around her and cheeks ruddy and skin marred with dirt and scratches. We're both covered in sweat and even I'm starting to take deeper, heavier breaths.

That's when I realize something about Isabella that I hadn't noticed before. The easy way she smiles up at me. The half-lidded look of peace, of satisfaction — no matter what I did or how much I tried to be a good partner — that's something I never saw on Zannah's face.

Not once.

The realization hits me all at once like a punch to the gut. Had I simply been deluding myself, all this time? Thinking that Zannah and I would be together forever, when it was only me who felt that strongly about her? I don't know, and I don't think I want to know.

I do know that if I give in now, all those years in mourning will have been for nothing. I know we promised each other we would try to get through this with as little shame as possible, but I'm learning just how hard that is. Easier said than done, that's for sure.

I do like Isabella. A lot. And not just because she's an omega and I'm an alpha. But I also still love Zannah. I love what we had together, even if it wasn't the perfect relationship. And I'll never get over the grief and guilt I feel over losing her.

It's not possible to have more than one heart-mate. It's just not. Everyone knows that. So either Zannah wasn't really my mate at all, or...

I grimace. I can't let myself think like that. It would undo all these years of grieving. All these years punishing myself, and for what?

I'm not ready to face the answers yet. I can't. So I jerk up. Try to pretend everything's normal. I hold out a hand to help Isabella off the ground, and by some miracle I'm not shaking.

I ignore her look of confusion. I don't say a word. Simply turn back to the task at hand. It's the only thing I know I can count on. It's the only thing that makes sense anymore. I can’t fall in love with anybody, especially a human omega.