14. Someone Better
SOMEONE BETTER
ISABELLA
A FEW DAYS LATER
I let out a breath as I stretch both of my arms above my head. One leg is stretched out behind me, while I balance precariously on the other. My core aches, but I'm almost done, just a few more seconds...
"Aaah." With a relieved sigh, I right myself and loosen my neck, rolling it back and forth. Every morning since the 'training' with Orri, I've been doing some of the stretches and poses he recommended. I don't know exactly how they would help me defend myself, but he says everyone needs a good foundation. If these stretches help me build my muscles and stamina, then it's a win in my book.
Grabbing the towel I brought with me, I wipe the sweat from my forehead and head for the bathroom, in desperate need of a shower.
I've been trying to keep myself busy now that my heat is over. Trying to focus on my exercises and watching over baby Ray while her parents ran errands. But even when Orri's not here, I still find myself thinking of him.
Still find myself aching for him.
It's stupid. He's not even my mate.
But I can't lie to myself anymore. When I think of Orri leaving, or Orri with another woman...
I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
Whatever is going on between us, I don't want it to end.
He's grumpy and caring and rough and gentle in all the right ways, and he makes me feel things I thought I never could. The sex was great, of course, but it's so much more than that. The way he holds me at night when I can't sleep. The determined look in his eye the day he rescued me from the compound.
The inner struggle I see in his eyes every time he catches me looking.
This has all gotten so complicated so fast, and I don't know what to do. I talked to Lara briefly before returning to the cottage, and she told me she went through something similar. She did say, however, that if I truly cared for him, I need to tell him.
Holding it inside will lead to regrets, and after the pasts both Orri and I have had, we can't afford any more of those.
So that's it. I've got to confront him about all this. I've got to tell him how I feel. And I've got to hope that he doesn't dump me completely because of it.
The sound of movement distracts me and I wobble on my feet, losing my balance just enough until...
A strong hand catches me, the warmth steady and reassuring.
I look up at him, lips parted, mind racing. How long had he been there?
"It's only fair," Orri smirks. "You snuck around and watched me training. Why don't I get the same privilege?"
"That's—"
"Different? How so?" His eyes gleam with mischief as he releases me, and I notice that he's wearing his uniform again. It's the same garb he wore when he rescued me. I remember that much. My stomach sinks. Is he going out on a mission again?
A strange cramping starts deep down in my gut, swirling with unease. Even the thought of him leaving makes me feel ill. And I hate that I've fallen for him this hard, but here we are.
"You've improved, you know." Orri says.
"Oh." I didn't expect that. Thought he was coming in here to tell me he was leaving on a mission or something.
"I'll be honest, I wasn't sure about teaching you, but you've picked up on the fundamentals remarkably quickly." He pauses. "For a human."
Bam. Another cramp. More insistent this time. A strange lightheadedness crawls up my spine. Maybe I overexerted myself. Or maybe I'm just getting too worked up over all of this.
A moment hangs between us. I want to tell him. I want to have this conversation. But now?
Now.
"We need to talk." To my surprise, it's Orri that broaches the subject. "Being that your heat is over, and I still have my duties to attend to, I..."
Right. Duties. He's just going to leave me and pretend like none of this ever happened. Sure wish I could.
I try to think of something to say. Anything. But all of my carefully planned speeches vanish in the heat of the moment. "You're leaving." It's not a question. Just a statement. A cold recognition of the facts. And it's all that comes out.
"I have to."
Ouch. I can't bear to look at Orri's face. I stare at a spot on the floor and try to keep the tears at bay. "Did our time together mean nothing to you?" It's harsh, but it's how I feel.
I don't expect him to answer. I just needed to get it off my chest. He could just turn and leave right now, for all the good it would do. He's already made his position quite clear.
My stomach cramps again, just to emphasize that.
"It did." When he speaks again, his voice is hoarse. Different than the confident, commanding voice I've gotten so used to. "It does. I enjoyed every moment I spent with you, Isabella. You know that. Or I thought you did."
"So you're just going to run off now, like nothing's happened? Since I'm not in heat I'm not your responsibility anymore, is that it?" The emotions come on hot and heavy now, one after the other. I know I should take a step back and think before I speak, but all the frustration and fear and longing have finally come to a head.
"No, it's just..." He trails off.
"I've fallen for you." The words tumble out at a whisper, falling as quietly as the tears from my eyes.
This time I really do expect him to leave. It would almost be easier if he did. I don't want to hear his excuses. I just want him gone.
"Isabella..." The sound of my name on his lips is like a knife to my heart. "I'm not your mate...the ISA will find someone for you. Someone better..."
"I don't want—!" But the burst of emotion sends me over the edge and the lightheadedness reaches my face until everything's fading, my legs are wobbling...
"Isabella!" Orri calls out, rushing forward to steady me.
I can do that just fine on my own, thanks. I move to the couch and land heavily, putting my head between my knees and trying to breathe. The tears are still falling. My stomach's still cramping.
And my heart is still breaking.
I can still feel him hovering over me. "What's wrong? Let me help."
But I'm still too hurt to think clearly. "I don't want your 'help'," I say miserably, without lifting my head. "You've helped enough. Just go back to your life, Orri. You don't have to pretend for me anymore."
"Isabella..."
"Get out."
"Wait, we can—"
"GET OUT!" I yell, and without another word, he turns and leaves. I think for a moment he's going to resist, to come up with some reason to stay or call me out for disrespecting him and raising my voice. But he doesn't.
The door clicks, and so clicks closed any hope I ever had for a happily ever after. The world spins around me, and I lose myself in the uncontrollable sobs shaking my whole body.