Chapter Fourteen Adam
“Y ou guys are buying a house?!” I scoffed. “That’s amazing! Congratulations!”
Rowan smiled as he wrapped his arm around James’ waist. “Thanks. It’s been in the works for a while. We actually had just started the closing process when you moved down here.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“We wanted to make sure it was all going through before we told anyone,” James replied. “You know how it is. People can have a lot of opinions and well-meant advice, but it just makes the process more stressful. This way we could just deal with it ourselves and enjoy the good parts once it was done.”
“So where is this place?” I asked, looking between the pair of them. “Is it near the lake or maybe in town?”
“It’s actually only about a mile from your cabin. It’s not on the water, but it’s really close,” Rowan said. “Want to see the pictures?”
“Hell yeah I do!”
Rowan pulled out his phone and flipped to the listing that he already had pulled up. Apparently, he’d been expecting me to ask. I took the phone and immediately was floored by what I saw.
“But… this is a farmhouse,” I said, scrolling through the ph otos. “There’s barns and fences and… holy shit !” I looked up at them, my mouth hanging open. “Twenty acres?! Twenty ?! What are you going to do with that much land?!”
“Well…” Rowan said, the biggest smile on his face I’d ever seen. “James has always wanted to live on a farm and foster animals. And believe it or not, his boss at the vet clinic is willing to pay him for his effort. I guess there’s a lot of farm animals that need a place to go and it also gives the vet larger animals to practice on so he can expand his business. I guess he’s looking at pulling in another veterinarian in the next year or so to keep things moving in the right direction.”
“That’s right,” James added. “I’m gonna basically get paid to take care of the animals. The vet has already contacted the local shelters and gotten grant money to help us get set up. The farm will belong to us, but the animals will belong to the shelters. That way I can keep doing the work I love but with a more hands-on approach. I’m getting tired of filing papers anyway.”
“This… This is so unbelievable,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s like you’re both getting everything you’ve dreamed of.” There was a tinge of melancholy to my voice as the envy crept in. “You’ve got everything.”
“Don’t worry, Adam,” Rowan said, pulling me into a side hug. “Things are going to come together for you too. You’ll get it figured out.”
“Have you started working your way through that list I gave you?” James inquired. He’d been bugging me about it for almost two weeks now. “Anyone stick out to you?”
“I…”
His brows knit together. “You haven’t talked to anyone yet, have you?”
There was no sense denying it. He could see right through me. “No,” I replied. “But when I’m ready, I will.”
“You’re never going to be fully ready. And that’s okay. Just get out there and try stuff! You don’t have to find the perfect guy on the first try!”
My mind immediately turned to Mateo and how fond of him I was becoming. It was stupid considering the fact that we’d both agreed our relationship was only for practice. Everything we had was fake. But to my heart, it was becoming more and more real with every passing day. I cared for him more than I wanted to admit, and I shouldn’t have been caring for him at all. How could I not, though? The way he touched me, the way he somehow saw right through me. It was like he knew me better than I knew myself. He always did the right thing.
And that night after we’d tracked his dog through the storm. That… That was magical. Of course, I was still a little ashamed I’d blown my load so fast. But then again, so had he. Clearly, we had chemistry. Just the mere thought of it made my cock begin to thicken. Everything about him was perfect from those beautiful green eyes of his down to his thick uncut dick. Not only that, but he treated me well, like I was something important to him. I didn’t feel like a quick fuck that he was dying to get rid of. And that… well, that was different for me.
Letting him be the top in the relationship was bringing out a side of me I didn’t know I had. The longer we went on, the more I didn’t want to let it go. But how could a guy like that fall for me? I was, self-admittedly, damaged goods. He deserved better than that. And with his looks and his charm, he could have whatever the hell he wanted. If I was in his situation, I wouldn’t pick me either.
So, there was no point in telling Rowan and James what I was up to. That would only lead to questions, curiosity, and more heartache when it all finally came to an end. I was already going to struggle with it, so why make it worse?
“I know,” I said at last. “I know I should just get out there and do it, but I want a little time to explore myself, by myself, you know? Taking a break isn’t such a bad thing. I’ve been trying to find the right guy for eleven years. I need a breather.”
James studied me carefully, his arms crossed over his chest. Finally, with a sigh, he let his arms drop to his sides.
“Fine,” he said. “I guess you’re right. I’m sorry I’m pushing you so much I just… I don’t know… I want you to be happy. We both do.”
My heart swelled with affection for the pair of them. I really couldn’t have asked for a better pair of friends. They felt more like family than anyone had in my entire life, except for maybe my mom. But they understood me on a deeper level. Mom would never know what it was like to live as a gay man in rural Michigan. Rowan and James on the other hand, they lived it. We were all in the same boat and the solidarity felt good . I could talk to them about anything.
Just not about Mateo.
“So…” Rowan smirked, pulling a set of keys from his pocket. “Do you want to see the farm?”
“Wait… you closed already too?!”
“Just this morning.”
“Fuck yeah I want to see it!”
“Come on,” he said, nodding toward his car. “Hop in and we’ll go take a look.”
All three of us got into the car and I took shotgun. James sat in the back center seat so he could lean forward and keep up with the conversation. We’d only just turned onto the main road when my mouth began to run again before I could stop myself.
“Just a hypothetical question,” I started. “But would either of you date someone who was blind or maybe deaf?”
James immediately gave me a discerning look. “Why?”
“Just curious,” I shrugged, trying to play it off. “I’d never really thought about it before, but I’ve seen profiles of guys with those things before.”
“And you ignored them?”
“Well… maybe a little bit. I don’t think I fully understood what I was looking at. When I saw stuff like that in the past all I could think was that it was going to take a lot of effort and I usually steered toward easy.” I help up my hands in my defense. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with either of those things, it was just unknown, so I moved on instead of trying to learn. But I’m actively trying to be better now. I just wondered what you two thought.”
“I mean, I don’t think it really matters to me,” Rowan answered first. “Those people aren’t missing out on anything, the just experience life a bit differently than I do. As long as we had enough in common and I liked being around them, I think that would be enough.”
“I agree,” James added. “We’ve got a few customers down at the vet clinic that are blind or deaf and they seem to get along just fine. One of them is even extremely handsome.”
Rowan glanced at James in the rear-view mirror.
“Oh, stuff it,” he laughed, patting Rowan on the shoulder. “You can’t blame a guy for getting some eye candy at work. But your dick is the only one I ride.”
“Inappropriate,” Rowan smiled, winking at me. “But I’ll let it pass.”
“We actually have a blind guy that brings in his golden retriever every six months. She’s got a weird name. It’s like Bertha or Belinda or…”
“Bessie?” I offered before I could help myself.
“That’s it!” His eyebrows furrowed in my direction. “How did you know that?”
I shrugged, trying to play it off. “Lucky guess, I guess.”
“Uh-huh.” He eyed me suspiciously but kept going. “Anyway, he’s a very handsome guy and as sweet as can be. I can’t believe nobody has snapped him up yet.”
“How do you know he’s single?” Rowan asked.
“Oh, you know, we talk. Gotta keep the customers happy, right?”
Rowan continued to give James the stink eye. Even I swatted his shoulder.
“Stop being so jealous. Green is a bad color on you.” I turned back to James. “So, he’s single, huh?”
“He was last time he came in,” James nodded. “Why? Are you interested?”
“Eh. He probably wouldn’t go for a guy like me. I’m so annoying and high maintenance. Plus, even Rowan told me that I’m too mean.”
“I said you were a little rude now and then! That’s all!”
“Right. Sure,” I sighed, grinning at James. He knew I liked to give Rowan a hard time. “Well, he sounds too pretty for me anyway. And you know me, I’m not big into dogs.”
“Too bad,” James said, giving me a pitiful smile. “Anybody who cares for an animal that much would certainly be a great partner.”
“Maybe,” I nodded.
If only I hadn’t fucked everything up to begin with and asked for a fake relationship, maybe I’d have a chance. But no, I always messed things up. That’s just the kind of guy I was.
“There’s the house,” Rowan said, pointing to a white house with a green roof coming into view.
“Oh Rowan,” I sighed, leaning up against the dash to get a better look. “It’s beautiful!”