39. Ryn
Chapter thirty-nine
Ryn
Pulling my courage on like a threadbare blanket- Ryn Raines
Envy takes my hand and drags me away from the others and into a waiting car. I’m so confused, but his hand in mine feels so good. We duck out of the car when we get to the very hidden, secret road. With a glance at me, he leads us in the direction we need to go. For several minutes, we walk in silence, only the birds screaming break it.
I have so many questions, but I’m too scared to ask a single one. The sand burns my feet when we step onto it, and I quickly kick off my thongs, dropping Envy’s hand and jogging down to the wet, hard-packed sand, where I stare out at cerulean oceans.
“How did you guys find me?” I finally ask.
“You told me.”
His answer catches me off guard, and I turn my head, watching as he steps up beside me.
I open my mouth to argue and freeze. “You remembered?” It was a throwaway comment he wasn’t supposed to remember. “No, it doesn’t matter. You need to go back to wherever you came from and leave me alone.”
“I remember everything you say, Ryn.” Envy clears his throat and turns to face the ocean. The ocean is mirror smooth and barely laps at the shore. “You said three hundred islands. So, I came, and I started looking. And I’m not going anywhere, not without you.”
I stare at the side of his face, watching his jaw flex. “How many islands have you searched, Envy? ”
He turns, his pale green eyes alight with the colours of paradise. “Too many, far too many.”
“Why?” I ask bluntly, not at all trusting his answer.
“Why? Why wouldn’t I?”
“But I don’t understand. We almost were something years ago, and you said we couldn’t be anything more. You said,” I stumble over the words and have to stop. “And then my heat, and you left.” My tone takes on a hysterical edge. “You left me, Envy, and then you sang her song!”
Envy chuckles. “You sound so angry.”
I whirl on him and shove him hard. “I’m furious. Do you enjoy causing me pain? Did you know how stupid I felt, standing in that crowd, staring up at you while you sang her stupid song? It was my one chance, Envy. I could have had a life. Now I need to run and hide until I can find someone to take me.”
He chuckles and reaches out, but I bat his hand away from me.
I shove at his chest. “Don’t laugh at me, and keep your hands to yourself.”
“I’m not laughing,” he says and captures my forearms. “I promise. No more laughing!”
“You left during my heat. Why are you here? You abandoned me when I needed you,” I snarl again and back up, needing space between us.
“Inhale, what do you smell, Ryn?” He is relentless, stalking me, following my retreat.
I smell the ocean, the beach, the forest, cinnamon, sugar, and coconut. It swirls thickly in the air, and my mouth waters. What is that smell?
That scent. It’s haunted me. Like a ghost, the scent appears in my dreams. I catch the edges of it from a distant memory. It teases me into a brain-melting exhaustion.
“What is this?” I whisper.
Envy steps towards me, but I retreat, my heel going into the cool ocean water. It stops me long enough for Envy to catch up my arms again, pulling me close to him.
“This is why I couldn’t join your heat. This is why I’ve tried so hard to stay away from you. And also why, when we almost fucked years ago, I ran. If I’d have known you would have disappeared, I don’t know what I would have done, but I have regretted that night, for not finishing, for starting it, for every moment you weren’t with us.” Envy exhales, his breath bathing my cheek.
I inhale, drawing that scent into my lungs.
“You can hate me, but you can’t hate them. They did it to protect me, to protect our future. You can’t hate them for what I am.”
My eyes are stretched so wide as I stare up at him. My face feels frozen. I remember Envy being standoffish, the surrounding scent, the way they protected him. He never signed autographs. He never slept with me. I never saw him naked because I would have seen he was missing his knot. Oh, wow.
“Do you know what I am, Auryn Raines?”
He always tasted sweet. His touch calmed the others. The crew protects him, Tony protects him. He’s never growled, and he doesn’t make me want to lift my throat to him.
Oh…my…god.
I peer up at him and shake my head the tiniest bit. Denial at its worst. He laughs, a soft, warm laugh.
“I am an omega.”
“You’re an omega?” I echo in a whisper. I feel like I’m dreaming.
I cover my face with my hands and let all the emotion take me over. My body shakes, my mind reels, tears spill down my cheeks, unheeded. Everything makes a painful, crystal clear sense. I am an idiot.
Envy takes my wrists in his hands and pulls gently. I let him pull my hands away and stare at his beautiful face.
“Ryn, I’m sorry.”
“You’re an omega?” My voice sounds strange. Sharp, angry, and loud.
“We signed a contract with your father. If one of us presented as an omega, we would have lost everything, and I can’t control myself around you,” Envy says, and through my tears, I see he’s smiling slightly. “Tara found out about me and thought it was you. She told your dad. We were buying you time to escape your father. You were supposed to wait for us. To trust us. We forgot you didn’t know how. It was our fault.”
I shudder, reliving that desperate night. Is it possible? It makes a sick sort of sense. Did I act too soon? Should I have trusted them? I’m so used to relying on myself. When they failed, I just assumed they screwed me over.
“Ryn, please, I’m so, so sorry.”
“You’re an omega?” I say again. “You’re my omega?” My eyes widen as the words slip out from my lips, but it feels so right I can’t take them back. I shudder and snap my mouth shut to stop any more slips. My omega. The world slows, and I see him in my mind, not my alpha, my omega.
Take a chance. I can live my life without them. I know I can. But I don’t want to. Four years and five months have proven that for me, there is no world if it’s not with them.
Trust them, my mind screams. If you ever had a chance to trust someone, this is the moment.
“Auryn,” he sighs heavily. “I’ve always been yours,” he whispers.
His words make me furious. I shove him hard in the chest, and when he stumbles back, I follow, shoving harder until he falls on his back in the surf .
I straddle him and grip his shirt, glaring down at him.
“You hurt me.”
“I know.”
“You did it multiple times.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Is there another omega?” I snarl out, terrified of his answer.
“No, Ryn, no. Of course, not. It’s just you and me. I am your omega. And you, well, you’ve always been mine.”
A wave splashes over us, soaking my pants and splashing up on his neck.
“Ryn, I promise you, I will never hurt you again. I will always tell you the truth. There are no more secrets.”
I stare into those pale green eyes, and I’m just scared. I’m so scared. And fear makes me so angry I can barely think.
I jerk him up towards me and mash our lips together. He immediately grips my hip, squeezing hard enough to make it hurt, as he drags me down.
“Want you!” I hiss into his mouth.
He doesn’t even bother replying, just answers me back with hot, open-mouthed kisses. I wrap an arm around the back of his neck and drag myself closer.
I tear my mouth away, gasping, who cares about needing air, I need to think, but before I can so much as gulp, his mouth, hot and wet, sucks hard on the side of my neck. I arch instantly, giving him more room. My fingers curl in his wet shirt, holding him to me.
“More,” I growl and shove him back. I watch him through slitted eyes as I peel off my top and throw it away.
The push and pull of the ocean lapping and sucking at us just heightens whatever this is. We’re inevitable. We’re a disaster. But if there’s only one thing I know, in my life with any certainty, it’s that this pack is mine. This omega is mine.
I unclip my bra and fling it away, watching as his eyes lock onto my breasts.
“You’ve seen them before,” I tease.
He snarls, his hands finding my lower back and forcing me into an arch that allows his hot mouth to latch onto the curve of my breast. I moan as he grazes his teeth down my sensitive skin.
His hand finds my other breast and squeezes. I let out a deep moan and rock against the hardness I can feel between my thighs.
“Now, I don’t have to stop,” he murmurs around into my skin.
Envy bites my nipple. I let out a hiss and yank on his hair, but he just smiles against my skin and then sucks it into his mouth. The tugging sensation drives me wild. I lose myself in it, but before long, the fire inside me burns too hot, too bright .
I shove him back again and stand up, peeling my jeans and underwear off. He watches me with an expression of intense hunger.
“Come here.”
I shake my head and step back.
“Ryn.”
I turn away and walk into the ocean. He has to follow me. That’s the game. He needs to catch me now. Prove that he wants me. I keep my steps slow and measured. I don’t know if I’m trying to find a reason not to do this or to drag it out longer.
I don’t know if I can stop.
He catches me when the water is lapping around my lower ribs. His arms band around me, drawing me back against his naked body. The relief I feel is so intense that I go boneless in his arms.
“Where are you going? I told you I would always find you.”
His mouth finds my neck, kissing and sucking. I lean back, grinding against him while I drag his hand down to where I ache.
He slides his entire palm against me. It’s clumsy and rough and completely drives me feral. I suck in air, tilting my head back to lay on his shoulder while I reach up and palm my breasts.
A wave hits us, and I gasp as we stumble back a step. But now his cock is between my thighs, and I squeeze them together as he thrusts slowly.
I bite my lower lip and reach up, gripping his hair and dragging his mouth back to mine.
Envy grips one of my thighs, pulling it up, and with the water buoying me, I’m suddenly impaled on his cock. A hoarse gasp tears free of me as I arch against him. It’s sudden, and once we’re joined, the sense of right just obliterates everything except the fire of need.
“Give me your slick, Omega,” I demand. “I want your cum. I want your cries. You owe me, all of it.”
“Auryn,” he protests.
I bite his lower lip and growl.
Envy moans and thrusts up into me. I let go and kiss him, forgetting everything but the way he’s moving in me.
I squeeze my nipple hard; the pain gives me a fleeting clarity before it doubles the pleasure.
“I’ve fucking waited for you forever,” Envy hisses and pulls out. He spins me around and lifts me, pulling my legs around him while he sheaths me on his cock like I belong there .
I cry out at the feeling of fullness and the stretch.
“Yes, like that. I want to see that face every day for the rest of my life. On my cock, on our alphas knots. You’re not going to know anything but pleasure and me.”
He pulls me up, and with one arm around my waist and the other kneading a handful of my ass, he yanks me down.
I claw his shoulders, desperate now.
“You want my slick, Omega? Fine, let me fill you until you’re so full it pours out of you,” Envy snarls into my ear as he drags me up and down, faster and harder. His balls crash into me. The cold of the ocean and the waves have changed, and now it feels super-heated. Envy stumbles back but keeps his balance as the tide pushes and pulls.
I bury my sobs in his shoulder, biting and kissing. Our fucking is a frenzy. We’ve got almost five years of tension between us. Five years of pure need.
He nuzzles the tops of my squashed breasts and bites hard. I yelp and lean down, biting his ear in retaliation.
Envy just laughs and slips a finger in my ass.
I come hard, screaming in paradise. Only the ocean is witness to the way I clench around him, to the tear that runs down my cheek. My body convulses in his arms, and it’s all I can do to cling to him. He thrusts harder, and I feel him come, too. He strains, his tendons popping out, a low grunting growl the only sound he makes. I clench around him, my cunt milking his cock, draining him dry. My eyes widen as I feel the amount of cum he deposits in me, but he doesn’t stop fucking me, he keeps thrusting. And to my surprise, I feel a tingle again.
I grip his shoulders and pull myself up and down on his cock.
“Good thing about omegas,” Envy whispers in my ear. “We can keep coming and coming and coming.”
My eyes widen as he turns and walks us back to the shore. He gets to the sand and drops us down carefully, rutting into me in a frenzy.
I claw at his back, my legs wrapped around his waist, holding on, while every thrust sends me higher. Slick pours out of us, mixing with the waves that rock over us, but every single thrust of his hits this spot, and I get closer and closer.
I bite into his shoulder and get a thought.
Bond him. The thought blooms in my mind, and with it comes clarity. If I can feel them, then I know if they are telling the truth and if they will hurt me. But it’s a risk.
Take a chance.
Gamble.
Do I trust Envy? It shakes me to the absolute core to realise that I do .
“Bond me,” I say out loud. “If you mean it, prove it. If this is forever, and you’re not going to hurt me again, put that bond on me. This is the only way I’m going to trust you, if I can feel you. Become an open book, Envy, and put your money where your mouth is.”
Envy pauses and then redoubles his efforts. His thrusts drive us into the sand. He grips my wet hair and pulls my head to the side. His pupils are blown, his mouth swollen and pink. He looks completely destroyed.
“What my omega wants,” Envy growls in a savage sound that makes my insides flutter. “My omega gets.”
He reaches between us and strokes my clit. That's all I can take. Another scream tries to steal free of my throat, but I latch onto his neck, biting hard, sinking my teeth in. The bond explodes into place, fierce, wild, and so intense I see stars. It drives my pleasure, spiraling it, sending it not just through my body but through the very fabric of who I am. He has remade me.
His teeth sink into my upper breast, dragging my attention away from the bond. I cry out again, in agony that bleeds into ecstasy, lifting my arms to cradle him as he frantically jerks and fills me with his release again.
The bonds flare up like lightning between us, dancing along my oversensitive skin. Flaring through the connection between us, and then it settles.
Everything fades away.
The bonds are the only thing that exist as I float along in a blissed out haze.
I can feel him, and he’s inside me in a way I thought I would never have. I can feel how desperate he is for me, how much this omega loves me. He is mine. Just as I am his.
He wasn’t lying.
I peel open my eyes to find him up on one elbow, staring at me with an intensity that takes my breath away.
“I told you, the only song I can hear is the one with you in it. I can’t exist without you, Ryn Raines. No melody works without you, the lyrics aren’t right. The song is wrong. Only you are my music.”
I shake my head. “If you keep saying sweet things like that, you’re gonna be stuck with me.”
He drags himself up my body, grinding his cock in deep. “Let’s make sure that it holds, then.”