Chapter 41
Rob had found it an exercise in self-control to stay away from Fiona over Christmas, but breaking into her festive period didn’t seem right. At this time of year everyone burrowed down for at least a fortnight and family took priority. He’d done a lot of thinking since their last meeting and now he understood why he’d never found another life partner. Fiona was special. Unique. Passionate (in all senses of the word). The decades hadn’t dimmed her physical attraction and they had sharpened her personal qualities, which he realised he’d been unconsciously searching for in every woman since. Some people were absolutely meant to be together. His actions of thirty years earlier had scuppered any chance of him and Fiona getting back together, but he still valued having her back in his life.
They hadn’t been in touch since before Christmas and it was now 6 January. A casual phone call, ostensibly to see if she’d made any progress in contacting the female gambling support group, wouldn’t be out of place. Just when he thought the answering service on her mobile would kick in, Fiona picked up.
“Hello Rob.”
“Fiona. I hope you’ve had a good Christmas and New Year?”
A big sigh. “Yes. No. Let’s call it eventful.” There was a mewling sound which could have been a very angry cat . . . or possibly a baby?!
“Is now a good time to talk about the anti-gambling stuff?”
“We’re just taking the tree down. And Natalie’s playing up. Hold on.” The sound of a whispered conversation with a woman. “Give me an hour to finish up here and I’ll meet you at the Golden Lion.”
“Great. See you soon.” It was a good omen that she wanted to meet face to face.
* * *
Fiona was flushed when she arrived and came in from the cold. Rosy cheeks and bright eyes suited her. Rob stood up and waved. Her face broke into a grin as she spotted him. For a second the years shifted away and they were meeting after work so they could travel home together. As she sat down, he pushed a glass of wine towards her. “I hope you don’t mind. I noticed at the club Christmas dinner that you still drink red wine.”
Fiona took a sip and gave a deep sigh. “That’s just what I need. My head’s spinning with everything that’s going on.” She took another sip and smiled at him. “I just need a few minutes to ground myself and gather my thoughts.”
“Want to talk about it?”
She shook her head. “Not right now. It would take too long to explain. Focusing on the anti-gambling project is what I need to get me outside of my own head and off my constant merry-go-round of thoughts.”
“OK.” He took a mouthful of the beer in front of him. “I’ll go first with my progress. I contacted all the gambling support groups within a twenty-mile radius. With it being Christmas, I’ve only heard from a handful of them but I have managed to set up a meeting with Colin, the chairperson of the group nearest to us, for a week today. It would really help if you could come with me.” Her wine was almost half-gone. He watched her check the calendar on her phone.
She looked up at him and smiled. “Not a problem.”
He watched her type in the time and location. “Colin asked, in advance of the meeting, if you could draft what you might say about being the partner of someone with a gambling problem? It needs to be something that will make potential gamblers think twice before putting their partners through that anguish.”
Fiona nodded. “I’ll try to give it some thought in between childcare and masterminding yoga classes.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“In a nutshell: Joe has moved out, leaving behind his daughter and her new baby, which I had to help deliver in my bathroom on Christmas Eve. In addition, my friend has had his yoga classes cut at the fitness club in the Birnside Hotel and I’m trying to get some private classes started for him.”
“If you want something doing, ask a busy person . . .”
“It was easier when I was at work. At least I could go home and leave it behind. It’s impossible to do that when it’s all happening at home.”
“Anytime you want a listening ear, give me a shout.” He hoped he’d spoken in a throw-away manner but with enough sentiment that Fiona would feel able to take him up on it. “Another drink?” He pointed at her almost empty glass. “Or are you driving?”
“Yes, please. This place is only a ten-minute walk from my house.”
With both drinks refilled, he asked how she’d got on with the all-female gambling groups.
“I’m sorry. It was only on the way here that I remembered I was supposed to do that. Life totally got in the way.” She smiled ruefully.
“No problem. But could you do it before we see Colin. Or would you like me to—”
“No.” There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation. “I’ll do it. I don’t want any accusations of me not pulling my weight.”
“There’s never been any danger of that.”
“It used to annoy me when people gave that excuse about life getting in the way. I thought if people were properly organised, like I believed I was, then nothing, barring death or serious illness, should derail things.” She took a drink of the fresh wine. “But now I understand how easy it is to get knocked off course. I wish I could go back and apologise to everyone I’ve ever rolled my eyes at. It’s nothing to do with not being organised and everything to do with actually having a life, with real, fallible people in it.”
“Tell me more about this friend with the yoga classes.”
“His name’s Meeko.” There was no mistaking the fondness in her voice as she described the impecunious yoga teacher and the efforts that both she and the young woman, Adele, were making to generate more classes for him. “I want to see his confidence and pride in himself back to their old levels. He’s too old to be barely scratching a living. And he’s got that gift of making people feel good about themselves. Including me. And I don’t want to lose that.”
It was difficult to tell whether her fondness for Meeko was platonic or if there was something else lurking in the background. He suspected there was, but Meeko didn’t sound like the kind of ambitious male that would attract Fiona.
She drank the second glass of wine more slowly and told him about Natalie’s birth and then summoning Meeko, who turned up like a knight on a white charger, to get them safely to hospital. The attraction of this man was obviously in his hidden depths.
Afterwards, it seemed only natural that Rob walked her home. They paused at the end of her drive and he gave her a hug. He deeply regretted the big black, life-destroying hole he’d dragged them both into decades ago. Discovering her secrecy over the nurse saying that the miscarriage would’ve happened anyway, regardless of the bailiffs turning up, had shocked him. But, mulling it over, he realised that even if he had known, he was in such a downward spiral back then that he would’ve blamed himself anyway. However, now that they were talking again and working together, he had a shiny feeling of hope that they could pull each other towards a bright new future.