Pardon My Frenchie

19

Ashanti spotted Thad’s pickup parked at the curb in front of Chateau Esplanade Senior Living Facility. She glanced at the time on her dashboard.

7:53 a.m.

She wasn’t surprised. He struck her as one of those you’re on time if you’re five minutes early types.

She crept around the block, searching for a parking spot. She didn’t like her chances. Between the seniors’ facility, a middle school, and several restaurants, finding a place to park in this area would be like winning the lottery. When she turned the corner at Esplanade and Burgundy, she found Thad standing in an open spot behind his truck, waving her to come his way. Had he been sitting behind the wheel when she passed by the first time?

There was another pickup truck—this one white with rusty ladder racks mounted on the truck bed—idling parallel to Thad’s. A tattooed arm waved out of the driver’s side window, its owner gesturing irately.

“Find another spot,” Thad called out to the guy.

The driver had apparently laid claim to this one and didn’t seem inclined to continue his search. The door to the white pickup truck opened and a man big enough to play The Rock’s stunt double climbed out.

“Oh, good Lord,” Ashanti said. She could find another parking spot. She pulled up closer to tell Thad just that, but it was too late.

Ashanti’s breath caught as the man marched over to Thad and pointed a finger in his face. Thad didn’t respond. He braced his feet apart, crossed his arms over his chest, and smirked.

If there was bloodshed over a parking spot, she would kill them both.

The man yelled a half-dozen four-letter words in Thad’s face, then stomped back to his truck and took off. Thad simply turned as if nothing had happened and continued to direct her into the parking spot.

It took her four tries before she was finally able to maneuver into the spot. She blamed nerves. And a lifetime of bad driving. She’d had Evie teach the twins before enrolling them both in driver’s ed.

Ashanti jumped out of her SUV and rounded the front where Thad was standing, that smirk now directed at her.

“Are you insane?” she yelled at him.

“Good morning to you too,” he said. “Not the best at parallel parking, are you?”

“That man could have murdered you over a parking spot,” Ashanti said, ignoring his warranted dig at her driving skills.

“A random stranger can murder me at the grocery store, doesn’t mean I’ll stop shopping for grapes.”

She threw her hands up. “That makes no sense.”

He shrugged. “You’re right, it doesn’t. Guess I’m lucky that guy wasn’t in the mood for murder. Probably because he didn’t want to lose his job.”

Thad gestured to something over her shoulder and Ashanti turned to find the guy from the white truck walking up the sidewalk, balancing a ladder over one shoulder. His truck was now parked on the other side of the street.

“Asshole,” the guy called, giving Thad the finger.

Thad replied with a proper army salute. “Nice day to you too.”

Ashanti rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of both men.

“Thanks for saving the parking spot for me, but please do not take chances like this once we get to New York,” she told Thad.

“Can’t make any promises. Have you ever met a New Yorker?” He shook his head. “Give me a minute to get Puddin’, then we can go see Grams.”

She followed him to his truck and was pleasantly surprised to find that he’d bought Puddin’ a proper car harness. He reached behind the seat.

“Can you hold this for a minute?” he asked, handing her a blue-and-white box with CANDIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD printed all over it.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“It’s for my grandmother.” He hooked the leash onto Puddin’s collar and helped the poodle alight from the passenger side seat. “Back when I was in the Army, I would ship candies to her from wherever I was deployed. I signed up for this subscription box now that I’m permanently stateside. This way she doesn’t have to miss out on her sweets.”

If one’s heart truly could melt, hers would be a puddle in the middle of the sidewalk right now. Was he for real?

Thad took the box from her and handed her Puddin’s leash. They started up said sidewalk, toward the metal gate.

“I already told Grams we can’t stay long,” Thad said.

“Does she know about New York?”

“She knows we’re going, but I didn’t tell her why, exactly.” He glanced at her. “I figured you can do that. She’ll get a kick out of it.”

“She’s going to explode,” Ashanti said.

“Let’s hope not. I wasn’t planning to change out of these clothes before the flight.”

She paused for a moment before she burst out laughing. “Did the UPS driver deliver a better sense of humor along with this box of candy, or have you purposely been hiding it from me all this time?”

His charming grin was heart-stopping. “I’ll leave you guessing.”

Ashanti took a step back and concentrated on taking deep breaths as Thad pressed the button on the speaker attached to the gate. She did a quick mental rundown of the reasons she should not allow this man and his alluring smile—and this sense of humor that had come from out of nowhere! Umm… hello!—affect her.

She refused to backtrack on her vow to swear off dating until the girls were off to college. Even though she could already tell that Thad was a thousand times more responsible than her ex-boyfriend, Simon, she wasn’t about to give Anita fodder for another custody battle.

But that wasn’t the only reason. She was on the precipice of taking her business to a level she could not have fathomed reaching. Distractions were kryptonite. And Thaddeus Sims was the very definition of a distraction.

Thad explained to the person on the other side of the speaker why they were visiting, and a moment later, the lock clicked. He held the gate open for her.

Frances Sutherland was waiting next to a column in front of the facility’s entrance.

“Mrs. Frances,” Ashanti called, hastening her steps.

As usual, the older woman looked as if she were on her way to a Saks Fifth Avenue catalog photo shoot, despite the early hour. Her pressed caramel-colored slacks, burgundy, navy-blue, and brown striped silk shirt, and designer navy ballet flats fit like they were custom made. Even the wooden cane she held—a new addition to her wardrobe—was fashionable.

“It’s all my favorites,” Mrs. Frances said. She gathered Ashanti in a hug, gave Thad a quick peck on the cheek, and then lavished her attention on Puddin’.

The reunion between the two brought tears to Ashanti’s eyes. She hated being away from Duchess for just a few hours—yet another reason she resented being stuck at home baking instead of at the daycare. She could only imagine how difficult it had been for Mrs. Frances to have to give up Puddin’.

“The rocking chairs are free,” Mrs. Frances said. “Let’s sit before one of these old folks comes out here and snatches one up.”

They climbed the steps to the facility’s wraparound porch and walked over to a set of rocking chairs that faced Esplanade Avenue. Thad propped himself against the wooden porch railing while the women sat.

In total disregard of her fancy attire, Mrs. Frances allowed the poodle to put his dusty paws in her lap.

“How are you doing today, my baby?” she asked, pressing a kiss against Puddin’s head. “Thaddeus isn’t being mean to you, is he?”

“You don’t hear him complaining, do you?” Thad asked.

Puddin’ barked and growled at him.

“Lies,” Thad said.

Ashanti laughed. She had no idea where this sense of humor had come from, but it was dangerous on him. She found him attractive enough when he was being a surly curmudgeon. She would not be able to handle funny and charming. And gorgeous. She couldn’t forget gorgeous.

Mrs. Frances spent the next ten minutes regaling them with the juicy gossip floating around the assisted living facility. Ashanti was both intrigued and disturbed by the coding system residents used to indicate who were swingers. She would never look at Mardi Gras beads in the same way again.

“Now, tell me about this trip to New York?” Mrs. Frances said. “It will be Puddin’s first time on an airplane. I think you should give him an edible just in case he gets anxious.”

“I’m not feeding your dog edibles,” Thad said.

“Why not? They’re calming.”

“Grams, you’re not up in here eating edibles, are you?”

Mrs. Frances stuck her nose in the air. “I’m seventy-eight years old, Thaddeus. I do what I want.”

“Grams.”

She leveled him with what Kara called the Grown-Ass, Unbothered, Black Woman Face and turned to Ashanti. “So,” she said. “About New York.”

“Grams!” Thad said.

Ashanti looked back and forth between the two of them, unsure if she should speak.

“Ashanti,” Mrs. Frances said, dismissing her grandson. Thad dropped his head back and muttered toward the sky. Was he a fan of the Serenity Prayer too?

“About New York,” Mrs. Frances pressed.

“Um, we have pretty exciting news,” Ashanti said. “Puddin’ will be on Up Early with Leah and Luke!”

Mrs. Frances clasped her hands against her chest. “That cute brother and sister duo? I love them! I knew it was only a matter of time before Duchess and Puddin’ became stars. You could not find two more precious dogs.” She gave Puddin’s head another kiss and hugged him.

“Now,” Mrs. Frances continued, “will you and Thaddeus be sharing a room while you’re in New York?”

“Grams,” Thad said.

“What? I don’t know how these things work. They’re flying you up there together, aren’t they?”

“You know the network doesn’t expect us to share a room.”

“Maybe they should,” she said.

Ashanti’s face felt as if she were standing next to a wood-burning pizza oven. “Uh, no. That would be inappropriate,” she said.

Her phone vibrated against her thigh. She pulled it out and read a text from Ridley, commanding both Ashanti and Thad come to her condo ASAP to meet with the public relations specialist.

Ashanti held up her phone. “Thad, we’re being summoned.”

“Go. Go,” Mrs. Frances said. “Show my baby New York City and then you come right back here so you can tell me about the trip. What day will you be on the show?”

“Friday morning,” Ashanti said. “I’ll text you before we’re about to go on. Just remember that New York is an hour ahead of us.”

“I finally learned how to use the DVR in my unit. I’m not missing a single moment of that show.” She pointed a manicured finger at Thad. “Remember what I said about the edibles.”

“Forget the edibles,” Thad said, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll have Barkingham Palace’s veterinarian prescribe something for anxiety for both dogs,” Ashanti promised her.

Puddin’ was not happy to leave and made his dissatisfaction known by planting his butt on the porch and refusing to move. Ashanti had to entice him with a Cheetos-type snack from Australia that Mrs. Frances grabbed from the box of snacks Thad had brought for her.

Once they finally got Puddin’ to move, Ashanti and Thad started down the walkway toward the gate.

“Is there any question as to why your grandmother is one of my favorite people on earth?” Ashanti asked. “I love that woman.”

“She’s a troublemaker,” Thad said.

“But she does it with such dignity and grace,” Ashanti said with a laugh. She bit the side of her lip as Thad once again opened the gate for her. “Although, it sounds as if she was trying to make more than just trouble. She’s not very subtle with her matchmaking, is she?”

“Frances Sutherland and subtle should never be mentioned in the same sentence,” Thad said. “I’m sorry about that. I’m used to her matchmaking. Don’t let her make you uncomfortable.”

“It didn’t,” she lied. “I just don’t want you to feel awkward. I mean, we are flying up to New York together. And, according to Kara, there has already been chatter online about the two of us.”

He stopped short. “What kind of chatter?”

“That we’re a couple.” The heat was back, but not just on her face. Every part of her body warmed as Thad’s gaze drifted over her. “You know how people are,” Ashanti continued. “Our dogs were caught necking and they automatically project the same onto the owners.”

“But how does anyone even know I’m Puddin’s owner? I didn’t do that midday newscast with you.”

“Remember the night you were late picking him up and you followed me to the playroom? There’s a twenty-four-seven livestream camera in there.”

Thad shook his head. “People really need to find a life outside of the Internet. Who sits around watching a doggy cam at eight o’clock at night?”

“You’d be surprised,” Ashanti said. She hunched her shoulders. “Like I said, I just don’t want either of us to feel awkward or pressured or anything like that. We both know that the thought of the two of us together is laughable.”

Her ego wanted to believe it was disappointment she’d glimpsed in his eyes, but it was probably just dust.

Still, she felt the need to clarify. “Not that there’s anything wrong with you. It’s just that you’re not at all my type.”

“Well, damn. Just come on out and call me ugly,” Thad said, an amused grin pulling at one corner of his mouth.

“I didn’t say you were ugly!” Ashanti protested. “My type loves dogs.”

They came upon her car and Ashanti used her key fob to unlock it. Thad reached for the door handle before she could and opened the car door for her.

“Thank you,” she said, sliding in behind the wheel.

He started to close the door, but then stopped. He leaned forward, resting his arm against the door frame. “So are you saying that if I learned to like dogs—” He stood up straight and shook his head. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

Her phone vibrated again. Ashanti fumbled trying to pull it from her pocket. She had to be the color of a fire hydrant at this point.

“That’s Ridley,” she said. “We need to get to her place before she gets in her car and comes looking for us.”

Thad blew out a breath. “Okay.”

“Um, I’ll text you the address, but you can also just follow me. She’s less than ten minutes away.”

“Text me the address, just in case I lose you in traffic,” he said. Then he closed her door and went to his truck.

Ashanti squeezed the steering wheel so tight she was surprised she didn’t bend it.

“Good Lord,” she whispered.

Was he about to ask her what she thought he was about to ask her? She’d had exactly two long-term boyfriends, and had not been on a single date since she broke up with Simon. Her ability to read between the lines when it came to men was a negative five hundred.

It was a really good thing Thad wasn’t her type. Now if only she didn’t have to keep reminding herself of that.