Phoenix’s Fire (The Ruins Of Men #2)

Chapter 21

Twenty-One

Zasen

M y mother had decided we were having a cookout? If that was the case, I needed to go hunting. Previously, if the kill wasn't clean, I'd finished the animal off with a quick sting. For Meri, that would be a problem.

Our venom was potent; although eating the meat of something killed with it was unlikely to be fatal, it would make Meri sick. Very sick. My bigger concern was a miscarriage. That girl was malnourished enough, and frail enough, that anything might push her body over the edge.

Coincidentally, Ayla also needed to learn how to hunt, use her bow, and move in the wilderness. So, when the sun sank that evening, I sent Ayla up to change clothes, then put on my loincloth. The lack of bulky fabric would give me an advantage in the forest. My scaled skin didn't cut or puncture as easily as Ayla's. Mostly, I preferred to use my natural camouflage to make it easier to sneak up on my prey.

I also wanted to prove there was nothing wrong with showing my skin.

Ayla had gotten a lot more confident in the time she'd been here, but she still clung to a few of those Mole ideas. It was habit, I knew that, yet my goal was to steadily broaden her horizons until she could no longer remember why she'd been so concerned about propriety in the first place.

As soon as we were ready, we left, jogging quietly into the forest behind the house. After doing this a few weeks now, Ayla could keep up easily - or close enough. Our work was mostly silent, but I preferred it that way. She didn't need to chatter to be entertained or directions to understand what came next. I simply made gestures, showing her the direction to go.

Strangely, the ever-present game seemed to be in short supply this time. Carefully, we drifted further and further from town, seeking our prey. The only thing I saw was a squirrel, but it was high in a tree. The shot was nearly impossible and not worth wasting an arrow. Even the birds were absent this evening.

We pushed on. The sky was a glowing pink and gold when we stumbled upon the largest deer I'd ever seen, but I waved Ayla off before she could shoot at it.

"It's too big and will spoil, plus she has a fawn," I told her, pointing out the udder swollen between its hind legs.

She nodded, so I gestured for her to take the lead. Quietly, almost silently, she did. The girl could move over the twigs and fallen leaves without crashing around. That had been our very first lesson, but she was a natural. Then again, it made sense. In the Mole base, being loud would've meant getting noticed, and for a woman, that was dangerous.

I was distracted by my thoughts when up ahead, Ayla froze. Immediately, I locked all my muscles, immobilizing my body. Slowly, carefully, she pulled out an arrow and nocked it to her bow. Her eyes were focused on her target, just like I'd taught her. Releasing my body, I carefully took another step so I could see what she was hunting.

No more than four trees away was a juvenile deer. It was a young male, so a good target for her, and so far, she was doing everything right. Patiently, she lined up her shot, leaning just a bit...

Her quiver bent a branch with her movement. It snapped back, the sound soft but still enough to alert the deer. His head snapped up, his ears swiveled. Letting out her breath like I'd taught her, Ayla took the shot just as the deer bounded away. I groaned as her arrow sailed within inches of its haunches, missing completely.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked, moving towards her.

Ayla huffed in frustration and stormed forward to retrieve her arrow. "Foolish, uneducated, irresponsible woman," she grumbled under her breath. "Stop daydreaming and focus, girl. Can't you get anything right?"

I jogged to catch up just as she reached the spot where her arrow was buried in the dirt. Before she could bend to retrieve it, I grabbed her arm, turning her so she had to face me.

"None of those things are true," I insisted.

She tossed me a smile and then reached down for her arrow. "I know, but I don't know enough profanity, and those are the horrible words men used. The strange thing is that it does kinda make me feel better."

"Shit," I told her. "Say it."

"Shit?" she asked.

I nodded. "Fuck?"

"Fuck."

"Damn."

A tiny little smile appeared at that one. "Damn. That's one I know."

"That fucking bush," I said, "is a piece of shit, and damn it to Hell." I reached up to brush back a few short hairs from her temple. "That's how you use profanity. Plus, it feels better than putting yourself down."

"But I didn't notice the branch was there," she mumbled, "so it was my fault. "

"Ayla, you noticed the deer." My thumb followed her hairline down before I forced myself to pull my hand away. "Hunting with a bow isn't easy. You were closer than a lot of people who consider themselves skilled. Believe it or not, you're good at this, but no one is ever perfect."

She looked away to put the arrow back into her quiver, but I could see her smile grow a little more. "Thank you."

"Huh?"

Those beautiful blue eyes slid up to look at me from under her golden lashes. "You always find a way to make me feel like I'm succeeding, even when I feel overwhelmed by everything."

"What does everything include this time?" I asked.

Her cheeks immediately began growing darker. "Everyone's been angry about the kiss."

Yeah, and they'd had things to say to me about it too. My problem was they couldn't understand my intention. I didn't even care if this girl had no interest in me; she deserved to know about pleasure. She had the right to make decisions about her own body - informed decisions, not those based on fear. She also needed to learn how to say no, and in my mind, that meant trying it with someone who wouldn't assume her silence meant yes.

"Do you know why they're angry?" I asked. "And are you aware they're angry at me?"

She nodded. "Lessa slapped you, so that made it clear, and Rymar said he'd sting you."

"Do you know why?" I asked again.

Pressing her lips together, she thought for a moment, then shook her head, but her eyes jumped up to find mine. Damn, but I liked that. I knew this had to be embarrassing for her to talk about, yet she still looked at me with so much trust in her eyes.

"It's because you didn't want to be kissed."

"But it didn't hurt," she mumbled.

Fuck, I had to struggle not to smile at that. "Doesn't matter, Ayla. I was trying to show you that you're amazing, and powerful, and strong enough to do anything you want. If you slapped me, I would've been proud of you."

"I just kissed you," she said, and her cheeks were starting to turn pink.

I couldn't help it. A little chuckle slipped out. "But that's okay too. See, that's what I want you to understand. It's okay to change your mind. There's nothing wrong with realizing your opinion has changed. There's also nothing wrong with you telling me - or anyone else - that you won't do it, don't want to, or simply slapping us."

"Like Lessa did?"

"Mhm," I agreed.

"She said you are a good lover."

I nearly choked at that, then stuttered a few times before my mind caught up. "She told you that? "

"Yes, when we were walking back. She said she thought I was brave enough to try sex, and that maybe that was why I got birth control. She said she's willing to help me understand this stuff, and no offense, Zasen, but some things really are easier to talk to women about.

"I'm sure," I agreed. "But did she tell you about dating and families?"

"Rymar told me about dating, and I know what a family is," she huffed.

"No, Ayla, I'm not sure you do. Not the way Dragons use the word." Releasing her, I stepped over a little more, checking the forest around us.

"A husband, a wife, and their children," she assured me.

"That's one form," I agreed. "But when people use it here, that's not usually what they mean."

She wrinkled her nose in the most adorable way. "So then what do they mean?"

"For Dragons, a family is a group of people who agree to share their lives."

She nodded. "Okay, so it counts even if they don't have children."

"Or if they have three boyfriends," I said, wishing I'd picked any other number for that example as soon as the words left my mouth.

Her eyes went wide and standing this close, I could see her pupils flare. "What?"

"Multiple boyfriends," I repeated. "Or girlfriends. Maybe two women with tails, a tailless man, and a tailless woman? A tailed woman, a tailless woman, and no men?" I was fighting a smile. "Typically, a family has at least one tailless woman, but that's not a requirement. It's simply the only way to add children."

"I don't think I understand," she admitted. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Ask my sister," I told her. "Jeera and Brielle are with Irrik. That's one man with two girlfriends. Lessa prefers to have many boyfriends, but never anything serious enough to consider a family."

"She said you were supposed to be her man."

"I'm not," I promised. "Lessa and I played around when we were younger." Okay, that was technically true. A few months younger, but still. "She also played around with Rymar, but Kanik wanted to date her - well, back when we were much younger, he did. She wasn't interested in him."

"But Kanik is an exceptional prospect!" she hissed, looking offended.

Which all but proved he was the one she was interested in. Yes, I was jealous, but also happy for him. Happy enough I would make sure Ayla gave him the chance he deserved. Considering her issues with kissing - let alone anything else - I had a feeling dating multiple people would not be something she was interested in. But Kanik? I knew he'd be good to her.

"He's brown," I explained. "Ayla, to Dragons, that is often seen as unattractive. Boring. Men are expected to be brightly colored and usually very confident."

"That's why vanity is wrong!" she grumbled. "Kanik is strong and fit. He's kind and intelligent. He's considerate!" Then she glanced away, a flicker of a smile crossing over her lips. "And purple isn't boring."

"No, it isn't," I agreed, hoping to encourage her. "Which is why it would be okay if you decided to kiss him - or anyone else."

"But they were mad at you for doing it," she said .

I wanted to groan. I'd been bitched at by all of my friends, and somehow Ayla had learned the exact wrong thing from that moment. Okay, kissing her wasn't something I'd thought through at the time, but my reasons still stood. They just hadn't been my only reasons for putting my mouth on hers.

Yes, I was an idiot. That didn't mean I had to admit it.

"They were mad at me," I explained, "because you made it clear you didn't want to. Just like we'd be mad at you if someone said no, and then you tried to kiss them."

"How do I know if it's okay?" she asked.

A shrugged. "You try. If they pull away or tense up, you stop."

She chewed on her lower lip, clearly thinking about that. "I think I'd be too scared."

"Well, if you ever do want to try," I said, hoping it came out nice and casual, "I'm sure Kanik, Rymar, or I won't mind. Even if you're wrong, we'll understand that you're learning."

"Yeah?"

"Promise," I said. "Cross my heart, Ayla. We're your friends, and that means it's okay to try new things with us, even if you end up making a mistake. Friends are the ones who understand and forgive you, right?"

She nodded. "Right, but I don't forgive you for kissing me."

My heart slammed to a stop in my chest, and it felt like all the blood in my body dropped to my toes. "What? Why? I'm - "

"Because," she said, interrupting my feeble attempt to apologize, "forgiveness is for mistakes, and you were right. I was scared of kissing. I thought it would hurt, but it didn't. You showed me that, just like you showed me all the other things. Knives, and bows, and pads. All the things I'm too scared to ask about, you find a way to show me which doesn't make me feel stupid."

"Because you're not stupid," I told her. "That's why I didn't want you cutting yourself down to vent your frustration. You, Ayla, are remaking yourself, and that isn't easy. Personally, I think you're doing an amazing job."

"Yeah?"

I nodded, making sure she saw. "Definitely. Now, let's see if we can make you an amazing hunter too, hm?"

"And the right kind of hunter," she said. "Not like the Moles."

With that, she turned, heading deeper into the woods with footsteps so soft I was honestly impressed. I wasn't sure if I was helping her as much as I hoped, but I also didn't want to hold her back. When this woman put her mind to it, she could accomplish anything.

Considering she'd saved herself with little more than a fork, I couldn't wait to see what she could do once she mastered the bow.