Chapter 20
Twenty
Callah
I slipped into my room after dinner to pour myself a glass of water from the pitcher I kept in there. Guzzling back the first glass helped with the hollow feeling in my stomach, but it didn't quiet it. The second made me feel a bit sloshy in the middle, but my stomach finally decided its protests weren't going to make my meals any bigger.
Then I turned to my dresser, intending to pull out a worn smock so I could sneak in a few hours in the library. My hands had just closed on the fabric when someone rapped at my door. Confused, I hurried to close the drawer, then headed over to answer it.
"Yes?" I asked politely as I opened my door. On the other side was Ms. Lawton, but Tobias stood awkwardly behind her. My eyes jumped between them.
"Callah," Ms. Lawton said as she stepped back and gestured to the young man. "Tobias Warren is here to walk with you. He has been added to your list of suitors."
"I see," I replied carefully. "When should I return, Ms. Lawton? I've never walked with a man before." My eyes unconsciously jumped over to Tobias, then dropped to the ground.
Ms. Lawton chuckled, clearly having seen my glance. "You don't have any duties tonight, Callah, so two hours is fine. Mr. Warren, stay in the common halls or the dining area. The wives will make sure you don't try to steal her away." But she looked at me pointedly, the warning clear.
"Yes, Ms. Lawton," I replied quickly. "Maybe Mr. Warren would enjoy a cup of tea with me?"
"Yeah," he mumbled. "That sounds good. We can do that."
But the smile Ms. Lawton gave me made it clear I'd handled that nicely. "Are you prepared, Callah?"
"Yes, ma'am," I assured her .
So she stepped back, leaving me a way out. I exited my room, closing the door gently behind me. Tobias turned to move beside me, but then he did the last thing I would've expected. He offered me his arm - and his cheeks were quickly turning scarlet.
"Miss Atwood," he offered.
"Thank you, Mr. Warren," I said, slipping my hand around his elbow. "How gentlemanly."
If anything, his face got even redder. It was now spreading to his ears, but together we headed towards the dining hall. Thankfully, Ms. Lawton turned to go the other way, finally giving us privacy.
"I've never walked with a girl before," Tobias mumbled. "I'm probably making a mess of this."
"You're actually being very charming," I assured him.
"I didn't want to sit in the dining hall, though," he whispered. "I wanted to talk."
"And I am a virtuous lady," I reminded him. "Being alone with you, sneaking around the shadows of the compound? That would raise too many questions."
"Right." He nodded quickly as if he hadn't thought about that. "But we can't really talk with anyone around."
"It's after dinner," I assured him. "Only the girls on dish duty will be in there. We can sit over by the tail. No one will hear us, and everyone will assume you're trying to impress me, because that's where weddings are held."
He laughed once. "You're really good at this."
"I'm a woman," I pointed out. "My survival depends on always making the right impression."
"Yeah, but you're still good at it," he said. "And you're making me feel like the idiot everyone thinks I am."
"Are you?" I asked back.
He glanced over, those unique hazel eyes of his finding mine. "No. I just learned that since I'm big, everyone assumes I'm stupid. If I play into that, I get away with more, get bullied less, and my mistakes are overlooked much easier."
"Which makes me think you're smart," I told him.
His lips curled into a little smile. "Not as smart as you. I didn't figure out a way out of here."
Together, we made our way to the back of the large space that was the dining hall. One elderly man sat near the kitchens. I noticed at least three girls moving behind the counters, likely cleaning up. Yet just as I eased myself down into my chair, my stomach rumbled loudly. The water hadn't satisfied it after all.
"Give me a moment," Tobias said before turning away.
Confused, I watched him walk up to the serving counter, then lean over it. One of the younger girls noticed him. She moved closer and words were exchanged, but I couldn't hear it from over here. But whatever Tobias had said made the girl nod, then she hurried off. A few seconds later, she returned with a bowl. Taking that, Tobias picked up two spoons, then made his way back .
"It's just the leftover grains," he said as he set the bowl between us, "but hunters are allowed as much as we want."
"You'll need it for your strength," I said politely.
So he nudged it towards me. "I'm sharing, Callah. I've seen the portions women are given."
My eyes locked onto the food and my stomach growled again, louder this time. "Are you sure?" I asked.
"Eat," he ordered.
That was the last encouragement I needed. Shoving the spoon into the porridge-like mess, I popped a heaping spoonful into my mouth and moaned softly in appreciation. Across from me, Tobias smiled, but it was a sad look.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
He waved that off. "Think of this as my way of showing I'm a good prospect or something. I'm also sorry you're not being fed."
"The Devil has been testing our hunters, and too often defeating them," I quoted. "We are not yet worthy."
"Do you really believe that?" he asked.
I glanced up as he leaned in to rest his elbows on the table. The intensity of his gaze and soft tones of his words made this conversation nearly private. And yet, I still glanced around us before replying.
"No. I think Ayla is helping them."
He nodded. "Me too. So what are we going to do about it? You only have a few months before you'll need to be married."
I scooped up another large spoonful of the mash. "All I know is Ayla left, she promised to send back something yellow, and then Jamison returned with those arrows. Tobias, I don't have a clue what the surface is like, where she is, or how that even works."
"It's not burning," he said. "In fact, it's green. Plants grow everywhere, but most aren't safe to eat - or very good. To the east, there's a farm. Wild men work it, and they leave bags of food for gatherers to carry back. To the north is where the Dragons live, but I've only heard about that."
I nodded. "So you think Ayla's with the Dragons, not the wild men?"
"Mhm."
"Why?"
A little smile curled the corner of his mouth. "Because her yellow arrows are just like the Wyvern's blue ones. Seems there are some black and grey made the same way."
"Okay? Are we sure the Dragons aren't just replicating what works?"
"The hunters talk about the Phoenix," he said. "Jamison called her Ayla. That's too much of a coincidence for me to ignore."
"Maybe there's another Ayla up there?" I tried.
He shook his head. "No. Jamison said 'Ross,' too. He meant her, and he saw her when she shot him, so why would he lie?"
"I don't know," I admitted, "but I'm worried she's gone and this is a trap. "
He nodded, then leaned in to take a scoop of the mash for himself. Swallowing quickly, Tobias said, "How did she know she'd get banished?"
"She didn't," I admitted. "She thought she'd die, but it's Ayla. She's..." The words trailed off as I thought back to the friend I'd grown up with.
"She's what?" he asked.
"She's not scared of anything," I said softly. "She never was. You know, she used to read these books that no one else knows about. It's why she was such a good healer. When she asked if I wanted to, I said no because I was too scared of getting caught, but Ayla? She took her beatings and always pushed through it. I think the punishment only made her more determined to break the rules."
"Or did those books tell her something?" he asked.
I shrugged, looking across the room again. "I don't know."
"But you've become a very good healer, and you did it quickly," he pointed out.
Again, I shrugged. "I'm trying to be a very pious woman, Tobias."
"Why?"
"No," I hissed. "You're trying to get me to admit to doing things wrong, but you? What do you get out of it? Why do you even want to walk with me if you're not looking for a wife? What are you doing?"
He dipped his spoon into the bowl again, but only took a small bit on the tip. Sucking that into his mouth, he turned to check the room the same way I had. Then he put the spoon on the table and sighed.
"I was with my mother for five years. My father let me visit her twice a year after that."
"Really?" I asked, because that wasn't common.
"I had tantrums," he admitted. "The kind that broke things. He decided it was easier to indulge me, and the boys' wing didn't want me until I was at least six."
"Okay?" I was sure he was going somewhere with this, but I didn't know where yet.
"But my mother told me about the surface. She begged me to get her out, but I couldn't. I felt like I'd failed, and when I asked my father to let her stay with us, he called me stupid. My mother told me that foolish boys are often ignored when they get in trouble, so to never be ashamed of being different."
"How old are you?" I asked, thinking of it suddenly.
He dropped his gaze and chuckled. "Twenty-five. I'll be twenty-six in December, so the elders keep telling me I should be married, or at least courting a girl."
"Ah." Okay, that made more sense. "So I'm your way of getting them to leave you alone?"
"Nope." He sucked at his teeth before continuing. "I had no intention of marrying. Still don't. I want out , Callah. My mother said I could be happy up there. She said I will be free if I can get out, and I swore to her I would never stop trying. This? It's me keeping my promise, because I do not believe she went to Hell. I don't think it was the Devil that took her. I think it was my father."
My head snapped up. "Quarantine is for the possessed. "
"Yeah, and the world is burning," he grumbled. "But my mother never seemed very possessed to me. She was strong, Callah. A fighter. That's where I got it, but without food?" His eyes dropped to the bowl between us. "Even the strongest fighters will grow weak."
"I'm sure that's the point," I mumbled softly.
"So I'll make you a trade," he said. "I'll get food for you, since they'll give me as much of that as I want. In exchange, maybe you'll tell me what I need to know to get us out?"
"Us?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I have a feeling you might be the one thing that keeps the Phoenix from killing me."
Which made me chuckle. "Okay. So what do you want for this bowl?"
"I want you to promise not to tell anyone what I'm doing."
I nodded. "I can't. If I tried, I'd be the one sent to quarantine. So what else?"
"I want you to save me if I come back with one of those arrows."
I nodded again. "I give you my word."
"And maybe," he said, "I want you to trust me a little. I mean, I get it. I'm nervous as hell saying this much, but I can say I didn't know. I was confused. I can play it off, but they'd still beat the shit out of me. You? I'm sure it's worse."
"Yeah," I agreed. "And the only people who'd care for me are gone."
"Merienne and Ayla?" he asked.
I nodded. "I just hope they're together. I think Ayla is Meri's only hope. She was so thin, Tobias. She looked nothing like she did the last time I saw her, and I don't want her to die!"
"I don't want you to die either," he said softly. "It's nice to finally have someone to talk to about this stuff."
"But they'd punish us if they knew."
"So we never admit it," he said. "Cross my heart."
My head snapped up. "Where did you hear that?"
He paused, his body twitching as my words hit. "I don't know. Why?"
"Because my mother used to tell me that. She'd say she loved me, and she'd cross her heart."
His eyes lost focus, then he began to bob his head. "Mine made me cross my heart when I promised to do something. I can't remember my father or friends ever saying it, but I always have."
"Huh."
Across from me, he murmured softly. "Maybe that's why they don't want children of quarantined moms to marry?"
"I can't remember it ever happening before," I admitted. "We've always been told it wasn't allowed. That the risk of possession was too high."
So he leaned in. "Yeah, but think about it. Which of the elders was born in quarantine? Which of their wives?"
"I don't know," I admitted .
"Among the gatherers, I was the oldest," he said. "The men in their thirties? They said it didn't used to be like this. They said we're the first, Callah."
"First what?"
"First children born from quarantined women. Mr. Worthington said it's because we need those bloodlines. We can't survive without them."
I sucked in a little breath. "We can't be!"
"But we are," he said softly. "The bigger question is why."
"No," I told him. "The bigger question is what we can do about it."
He looked up, meeting my eyes. "It seems you're as brilliant as you are beautiful. I think becoming a hunter was worth it to finally find someone who can think for herself."
"Still not going to marry you," I grumbled.
"Maybe not, but I'm hoping you'll run away with me."
I wanted to. Oh, that sounded so very nice, but what I told him was, "We'll see. You still have to prove yourself, Mr. Warren."
"Cross my heart," he whispered.