Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
Ayla
W e were late. After I'd gotten dressed, Zasen had insisted on covering my wound with ointment. Kanik's bag had ripped, requiring him to find another to carry the books with us. Then Saveah had struggled to get her children to cooperate. Taris had needed a diaper change, and Tamin had wanted to bring all of his toys with him.
So half an hour after we were supposed to arrive, Zasen led our group to the front door of a very large house. The grass around the sides and back was walled off with wooden slats. The structure was made of heavy timbers with stones and plaster as well. My favorite part, however, was that the front door was painted blue.
Zasen rapped on the wood, then opened the door, calling out, "We made it!"
"The men are out back!" Naomi yelled. "Women are in here."
So Kanik passed me the books. "Give these to everyone?" he asked.
"Where?" I begged.
Chuckling, Zasen turned me to the right and guided me forward. Rymar offered Tamin his hand. Saveah followed me, and our group split. The men went to the left, clearly knowing where they were going. Zasen led me and my sister to a large room with many soft chairs filled by women.
Meri, Jeera, Brielle, and Lessa were all here. And Zasen had been right, Lessa was wearing a dress. Not the sort of dress Meri would've ever seen before, but it was a dress. The fabric stopped at her knees. The straps over her shoulders were as thin as the ones on my nightgown, yet it was pretty - and definitely feminine.
Then there was the fabric in her lap. Small squares had been spread out, and Meri was looking at them as if we'd interrupted a conversation about clothes. That made me smile. Meri deserved to have friends, and she'd always liked clothes. She'd probably noticed Lessa's choice of style, finding it even more shocking than I did.
Jeera and Brielle both wore clothes that were sedate. Their shirts had high necklines. Their bottoms were well below their knees. Jeera had on pants this time, but they only came to her shins. Brielle was wearing a skirt that hit her ankles. The fabric was loose, but also made of lace. A layer of something else was under it, preventing the cloth from being see-through.
Naomi was dressed the way she always was, in a relaxed shirt with pants similar to mine. Meri's dress was close to what I wore around the house, but Saveah and I were both in pants - although I wasn't completely convinced that was the proper term for Saveah's clothing. Rymar had called them "shorts" because the pants had been cut halfway down her thighs and showed most of her legs. Combined, Meri was clearly getting a very comprehensive example of how Dragon women dressed.
"Okay, I'm going to go get some food started," Zasen said. "We've got Tamin."
"Thank you, Zasen," Saveah told him.
But Meri was staring at my sister with her mouth hanging open. "Ayla, she looks just like you!"
"This is my sister, Saveah," I explained, turning to translate that for Saveah only to have her chuckle.
"Me find Ayla late," Saveah tried in broken English. "Sha me family. English, yes?"
"Sorta English," I said, grinning because her attempt wasn't that good. "Oh, and Kanik got these for everyone."
Lessa lifted a finger. "I'm not following that much English," she said in Vestrian.
"Saveah and Ayla are sisters," Naomi explained, "and Ayla has books."
"Ones for both languages," I told Lessa in Vestrian. "I think this one is for you?" The cover of it was in Vestrian, which made me think it would explain English to her.
Then I found one with English on the cover, and handed it to Meri. I kept the other. The rest were all Vestrian copies. It seemed Kanik had gotten enough for Jeera, Brielle, Saveah, and Lessa.
"That's all he has," I told Naomi apologetically when I ran out.
She waved me off and replied in English. "It took me a bit to shift the way I said the vowels, but I use enough English in medicine that I'm okay."
"Which is where Zasen learned it," Jeera told Meri.
"Tamin speak da Ayla," Saveah said.
"Tamin is learning it to speak to me?" I guessed.
She nodded. "That." Then she sighed. "English is hard."
"But you got it!" Brielle told her.
Meri just kept staring at Saveah. "You're Ayla's sister?"
Saveah nodded, clearly understanding. "Yes."
"Tiesha was her mother before she went to quarantine," I explained. "I always thought it was just the four of us, but my mother really had five children."
"So step-sisters?" Meri asked, thinking of the terms widows used for their children .
I shook my head. "Half-sisters. Like a widow's first husband's children and her second husband's."
"Oh." She nodded. "So Saveah's father died?"
"Yes, but not," Saveah answered with a heavy accent. "Mah dod live. Mam go..." She wrinkled her brow, then looked to me and switched to Vestrian. "Mom was taken by the Moles, then my dad died later. By Moles."
"Oh." I reached over to rub her arm. "I'm sorry."
"And it's not your fault," she reminded me. "Neither of yours, but I don't know how to tell Meri that without making her feel bad, or if she even knows."
"I got this," I promised before turning to Meri. "Our mother was taken by the Righteous. She was married to a Dragon, but the Moles didn't care. They made her marry my father, not knowing she had a husband and daughter - " I paused. "I think they were married?"
"Not mahried," Saveah said, clearly doing her best to follow along.
"Wait," Meri begged. "How did they have children if they weren't married?"
Lessa giggled, proving she could understand enough to keep up as well, but it was Naomi who answered. "Meri, for Dragons, sex is something we're allowed to enjoy. Women get to choose when and with who they do it with. So do men. Our tailed daughters can't have children." She gestured to Lessa, Brielle, and Jeera. "And our tailless daughters can use medicine to prevent children. That means our relationships are made because we like our partners, not simply for children."
"And not always one man and one woman," Meri said, showing she'd accepted that much.
Jeera reached over for Brielle's hand. "Exactly. That's why we're a couple, Meri. Saveah had one man. Lessa has many, along with some women, but never marriage."
"Shit," Lessa grumbled in Vestrian. "How do you explain to her that I'm not even dating them?"
"I'm not sure she's made it that far," I said.
Which made Lessa flash me a smile. "But you have?"
"What?" Meri asked, proving she didn't understand any of that.
"Lessa likes to kiss and have sex with people," I said, "but she isn't married to them. She doesn't even want to be intended for them, or a prospect, or even have them as suitors."
"Close enough," Lessa assured me with a smile.
I let out a tense breath, because this was not easy. Trying not to offend anyone while doing my best to explain the cultural differences and switching languages? I was sure I was messing up somewhere, but at least Saveah and Lessa seemed to be following along, even if their English wasn't good enough to speak it.
"And the man with the reddish beard?" Jeera said. "Irrik? He is our boyfriend." She gestured to herself and Brielle.
"But why?" Meri asked.
Jeera just smiled at her. "Because I like Brielle and want to be with her. I also like Irrik and want to be with him. We keep hoping he will have a baby with a Reaper woman - since he lives with them - but he refuses to date anyone but us."
"Dating is like betrothal," I hurried to explain, "but without marriage at the end. It's when two people decide they like each other."
"A relationship," Naomi clarified. "That's what we call it, because marriage isn't the goal for everyone, Meri. Not all people here believe in God. Some, like my family, do. Others do not."
"I do not," Lessa said in pretty good English, pointing at herself.
"And there are people who believe in other gods," Naomi went on.
But while she talked, Lessa passed the fabric to Meri, then stood and gestured for Saveah to take the chair. Since my sister was holding Taris, that was nice of her. But then Lessa confused me even more. Touching my arm lightly, she guided me to a smaller sofa with only two spaces, and encouraged me to sit beside her.
Shifting to Vestrian, she said softly, "Hey, I'm sorry I was..." She paused to make a little noise, clearly picking her words. "I wasn't nice to you when we met."
"You thought I was trying to take your man," I said, showing I understood. "Zasen is just my friend."
"No, he's not." She gave me a long look, making me realize her eyes were the same blonde shade as the rest of her. "Ayla, he likes you. Kanik likes you. Hell, even Rymar probably does, but he's less likely to settle down."
"We're just friends," I promised. "I don't want to get married."
She gave me a disappointed look. "And yet you were just telling Meri that marriage isn't required?"
"Well... But..." I sputtered.
Which made her laugh gently. "All I'm saying is that it's okay," she assured me. "I mean, Rymar was right. Zasen and I aren't meant to be a thing. So, you know, if something happens between the two of you, I just wanted to make sure you know it's okay."
"But I wouldn't!" I breathed.
She smiled at me gently. "You should. Or with Kanik, or Rymar, or anyone else. Ayla, you deserve to control your own life, and I don't get the impression you want to be alone. I could be wrong. Shit, I'm usually wrong, but for the last couple of days, I was thinking about what you said."
"Which part?" I asked.
"About how women take care of each other - or should. Up here, that isn't always true, but you said it with such conviction, and it makes me think that maybe you Mole women have the right of it. Talking to Meri before you got here? I can't even understand everything she says, but I can see she's nervous. I can hear how meek she is, but looking at you, I have to wonder if she was made to be like that."
"We all were," I admitted. "From the time we move into the girls' wing - which is anywhere from six to ten years old - we're punished if we are too loud, too brazen, or not submissive enough. Every day, we go to sermon to learn our place, and that our duty is to be righteous and fruitful. If we try to be anything else, we're punished."
"With the back of a hand," Jeera said, proving she was listening in. "Just ask her about punishment, Less."
When Lessa raised a brow at me, I said, "Punishment is being hit or kicked. Well, or pushed, pulled, and basically hurt in some way. The pain is a reminder that men are closer to God, and our place is to be obedient."
"Fuck that," Lessa said.
"Which is why we're all scared of men," I continued. "Zasen, Rymar, and Kanik never hurt me. They let me read! They showed me things and try to get me to yell across the house. They're my friends, Lessa, and no Mole man would ever be like that. Down there, women aren't even supposed to have close friendships with other women because that's gossiping."
"And that's all Meri knows?" she asked.
I nodded. "That's why I had to tell her about the hunters. She still hopes there's a mistake. I didn't tell her the message I sent back to our friend was an arrow in a man I knew. I didn't tell her about the children who are killed. I just told her they come here to hunt, and she figured out what they were hunting on her own. That's why she was sick."
Slowly, Lessa began to nod. "Well, I'll help, okay? I don't know how, but I will."
So Jeera leaned our way. "Brielle and I will be acting as nurses during the next battle. Meri's going to need someone to look after her."
"I can do that," Lessa agreed.
So I caught her arm. "You don't understand, Lessa. Meri's husband? He's a hunter. He will eventually come here . I don't know what he'd do if he saw her."
And beside me, the sandy-colored woman began to smile. It wasn't a happy or a nice expression, though. No, this was the kind of smile I'd seen on men right before they tried to punish me.
"I'm still venomous, Ayla. I also grew up with your guys. That means I can keep up with them. Just because I like sewing doesn't mean I'm helpless."
I nodded, showing I understood. "Thank you!"
"You can repay me by helping me learn that stupid language you people use."
"Kanik is going to help all of us learn it," I said. "Meri and I will learn to speak perfect Vestrian, and you can learn English at the same time."
Naomi lifted a finger at the other girls and looked over at us. "I have a feeling English is going to become a very necessary language to know. The hunters use it, Lessa. It's how they give their orders, and the more we can understand them?"
"The more we can kill," I finished for her, smiling at Meri to show her it was okay. She couldn't understand what I was saying, but everything was just fine - or would be.