Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
Ayla
I slept the entire day after hauling the bear back. That evening, I got up long enough to eat and take more of the pills Kanik had for me, then crawled back in bed. Zasen, it seemed, went hunting.
I woke the next morning to find him carving meat on the kitchen table. Bones had been stacked to the side, and bite-sized chunks were being placed into a rather large bowl. Quietly, I slipped behind him, aiming for the cabinet with the cooled tea, but as I pulled down a glass, Zasen glanced back.
"The cookout is today. Did you get enough sleep?"
I nodded. "Maybe too much."
"How do you feel?" he asked, setting down the knife so he could turn to face me. Then he picked up a cloth and wiped his hands clean. "I'm sure your muscles hurt, but how's your shoulder?"
"Stiff," I admitted. "And you got all of that without me?"
"Without a bear lurking in the woods, the animals were everywhere," he said, then paused. "I probably would've gotten twice as much with you there."
I sucked my lower lip into my mouth and glanced down to the ground. "So I don't make it harder?"
"Hey..." he breathed, closing the distance between us so he could clasp my shoulders. "No, Ayla. You killed a fucking bear! You saved my life, okay? That's not making it harder, and it certainly isn't your fault there were hardly any animals out that night."
"You're not just trying to be polite?" I asked.
With a little huff, Zasen let go of me and stepped back. "Have you met me?" he teased. "I'm pretty sure polite is not the word anyone would use to describe me."
Okay, he had a point. Zasen was many things - a good hunter, brave, and even strong - but he wasn't the sort of man to be gentle with his words. No, he used them to cut, to guide, and to push. In truth, it was one of my favorite things about him, because I knew that what he said was exactly what he meant.
But he'd mentioned the cookout, and I felt like I'd lost an entire day to prepare for this. "So what am I supposed to wear to an event like this?" I asked. "A nice dress, or a simple one?"
"Pants," he told me. "Yesterday, Rymar bought a pair of loose pants and a shirt that won't rub on your wound."
"But Meri - " I tried.
"Needs to see it's okay," he broke in. "Lessa will probably wear a dress. Jeera and Brielle will dress sedately to keep her from feeling like she's the odd one out. You and Saveah should wear pants, just to show how normal it is."
"I didn't go see her yesterday," I reminded him. "Neither of them!"
"Lessa talked to Saveah," he assured me. "Your sister came over while we were sleeping and asked Kanik what she should bring. He told her the babies, and everything baby-related she could carry, because Meri needs to see how children are raised here."
"She does," I agreed.
"And Jeera knows about the bear," he went on. "Rymar talked to her when he went to the market. In truth, I don't know if he went to tell her or to buy clothes, but he did both. Jeera would've made sure Meri knew."
I nodded, then decided to change the subject slightly. "Are there any more of those pills?"
With a chuckle, he pointed to the pantry. "In there. The white bottle. You can have one every eight hours."
"Thank you," I breathed, heading that way. "Did you need one?"
"Took one the moment I woke up," he promised. "You should also know Kanik is at the school. He said there was something he needed, and I can guess what it is."
"What?" I asked as I poured a single pill into my palm.
Zasen waited for me to swallow it, then said, "English to Vestrian books. They're used for the children to translate the English lessons. Sounds like he's planning to help your friend learn our words."
"Really?" I asked, getting excited. "Oh, he's so good at teaching, and so much nicer than Mr. Cassidy, so Meri will be able to learn faster than if I try to do it on my own."
"And you can finally meet Jeera's boyfriend," he said, adding that as an aside.
"The Reaper?" I asked.
"Not the one with the dogs," Zasen clarified, "although Lansin will be there too."
"And the dogs?" I asked, feeling a little excitement at the idea. "Meri didn't know what they were. Well, or the thing with the cart. I told her it was probably a horse. She called it a beast and a box."
"A horse and cart," he confirmed. "They require a lot of space, so only large businesses use them - well, and Reapers."
I nodded. "So when do we go? "
He chuckled. "You have two hours to bathe, change into your new clothes, and fix your hair. You don't have to do anything special, but you can if you want." He turned back to the table. "Oh, and your new outfit is in my room, on my dresser. We didn't want to wake you."
"May I get it?" I asked.
He glanced over at me. "Ayla, you're always welcome in my room. When I'm in there, when I'm not, and any other time. So yes, go get your outfit. It's orange."
"Okay, thank you!" I said as I hurried to see what Rymar had picked for me.
The market was filled with such bright fabrics, but when I'd first come here, I'd been intimidated by them. Part of me hoped Rymar had picked something vibrant, but I wouldn't blame him if he hadn't. Either way, I was sure it would be pretty.
When I entered Zasen's room, I saw the outfit immediately. Both pieces were folded and resting on the top of the long dresser - and the colors were amazing. Not too bright, though. The shirt was a lovely cream fabric with metallic gold threads running through it. When I picked it up, I realized they were little birds and suns.
The pants were in soft shades of orange, peach, and pink. It reminded me of a sunset. There was cream in that pattern as well, but only enough to make the shirt work with it. They were also soft. Not like the dog, but more supple and lightweight. Hugging the clothes to my chest, I hurried into the bathroom.
"Is the water heating?" I asked, lifting my voice enough to carry into the kitchen.
"Yes!" Zasen called back, but I heard his feet moving on the floor.
Confused, I peeked down the hall to see him heading my way. "What?" I asked. "I was going to have a bath."
He paused to lean his shoulder against the wall. "Uh-huh, and I had to make sure no one had swapped you out. I mean..." He gestured into the air. "You yelled down the hall."
"I did not!"
"You spoke loud enough for me to hear you in the other room," he pointed out.
"But I didn't yell," I insisted. "I knew you were there, so I just spoke a little louder."
He leaned in playfully. "You yelled."
"Did not!"
"And I'm proud of you," he finished just as the stairs creaked overhead.
"You yelled," Rymar muttered as he made his way down. "I was sure you were being attacked or something."
"Don't discourage her," Zasen grumbled.
Which made Rymar laugh. "I'm joking, Ayla, and let me in there before you have your bath?"
"Okay," I agreed, stepping out so he could step in. Glancing at Zasen, I asked, "I guess he just woke up?"
"It's nine in the morning, so yes," Zasen agreed. "We're having lunch with my mother, so I told the guys to be sure they woke up early. I didn't really expect you to wake up for another hour."
Inside the bathroom, I heard the faucet for the tub turn on. A moment later, Rymar opened the door and stepped out. "All yours," he said. "Oh, and I saw you found the clothes."
"Zasen told me," I assured him. "Thank you! The colors are beautiful."
He winked. "Phoenix colors. I figured you deserved some by now."
For some reasons, that made me like the outfit even more. I hadn't thought about it, but he was right. Phoenixes were usually shown in fire colors, at least in those books I'd read. The new clothes were more sunset shades than fire, but I still liked them.
But once I closed the door and began undressing, I realized I could hear the men in the kitchen. Rymar asked how many people would be there, Zasen counted off their names. Normal things, but I'd just stepped into the water when the conversation shifted.
"I put everything we made from the bear into the pot," Zasen was saying. "Kanik used some to buy translation books for the ladies. I told him to get some for Lessa and Saveah as well."
"So they learn better English?" Rymar asked.
"And Jeera is worried about Meri being around men."
Rymar scoffed at that. "I think we know how to reassure her. I mean, we did fine with Ayla."
"And Ayla is nothing like Meri," Zasen said. "Ayla's a fighter, Ry. This new girl? I guess she's broken down a few times. She's scared she's going to die, that men will kill her child so it's not in the way, and more."
Poor Meri. Not that I'd been any better, but I'd hoped to explain all of this to her. I hated how I'd missed a day, and I felt guilty for it. I should've visited with her. She'd only been here a few days, and Lorsa was nothing like the compound. Every rule Meri knew was wrong. Jeera and Brielle wouldn't know the ways they were wrong, and Meri wouldn't ask because she'd be worried about offending them. But Rymar's next words echoed my feelings perfectly.
"Fucking Moles," he grumbled. "Why would they kill a child?"
"I'm not sure they do," Zasen said. "I get the impression parents don't raise their children, so Meri's probably trying to take what she knows and apply it to the way we do things here. Sadly, she's going to assume the worst."
"So we make sure to care for the kids today, and let her see that men can be good with children," Rymar said. "Saveah needs a break anyway, and between the three of us - "
"Four," Zasen corrected. "Irrik knows how to change a diaper too."
That men were willing to handle babies was still surprising to me. It wasn't only the ones I lived with either. Most of them, apparently, were engaged with their children. Yet hearing these guys plan out a gentle way to show that to Meri? "Kind" was the best word I had, and it didn't feel like enough .
Rymar chuckled. "Irrik did pick two women who work in women's health. He'd better be able to keep up."
"Or they'll leave him behind," Zasen agreed. "But no, he's a good man. It's Lansin I don't know that well."
"I thought you said you'd met him a few times?"
Zasen made a noise as if that wasn't quite right. "Met, yes. Usually when trading, often to say a handful of words and little else. I know who he is. He knows who I am. That's about it. Irrik should keep him in line, though."
"Your family is fucked," Rymar joked.
I had to bite back a giggle. Zasen's family was loud, brazen, and so amazing. I wouldn't have used profanity to describe them, and yet somehow Rymar had said that jokingly, getting the exact point across.
"Mhm," Zasen agreed, "but speaking of families... When are you going to introduce Ayla?"
Wait. What? Why would he want to introduce me to a family? I stilled, listening even closer.
"My mother asked about her when she showed up," Rymar admitted, "but I said she was just a refugee. I also thought Kanik should do the whole family thing first."
"Or," Zasen said, "maybe we need to keep it casual? I'm not sure how she'd take being introduced like that. For all I know, she'd think it was something suitors do or a sign someone was going to propose. I mean, look at how she reacted to the flowers!"
"And both mine and Kanik's mothers are ready for us to start families. That Ayla's tailless? Someone is going to say the wrong thing and convince her we've been lying this whole time. Zasen, be glad your mother gets her fix of babies in other ways and isn't hounding you about your love life."
This was why I trusted these men! They didn't know I could hear them, but these words matched what they'd been telling me the whole time. It was stupid and foolish, but also proof. The friendship we had was real! They didn't want to do that with me - and still liked me.
"So maybe we should just introduce her as our new roommate?" Zasen offered. "Drozel will gladly add her to the militia, then all you two have to say is that she's working with me."
"Would keep my mother from thinking the wrong thing," Rymar said. "Ayla would need to start attending the training, though."
"She needs to do that anyway," Zasen said. "We both know she's not going to stay home when the Moles come. I'd prefer she knows how we'll move, where to stand, and how to make sure none of us get hurt."
"Make sure you tell Kanik," Rymar said. "It's no secret she's here, but the longer she stays, the more all of our parents are going to start hoping for something."
"Ayla isn't ready for that," Zasen warned.
"Exactly," Rymar said.
And even though they couldn't see, I nodded in agreement.