Phoenix’s Fire (The Ruins Of Men #2)

Chapter 78

Seventy-Eight

Ayla

K anik liked me. He liked me! I was struggling not to look like a stupid girl as I stood between him and Zasen as we waited for the town meeting to start. Holly sat patiently between me and Kanik, giving me the tiny bit of distance I needed to keep from giggling like a fool.

But Zasen kept looking over, proving I wasn't doing as well with hiding my excitement as I'd hoped. Trying to play it off, I reached down to pet Holly, then looked around.

"Will Meri be here?" I asked.

Which made Zasen relax. "Jeera, Brielle, and Lessa know where we'll be."

"And me," Drozel said, pushing in to take the spot behind me. "Nice dog, Ayla. She's less terrifying when she's not pulling people off their feet."

"Thanks!" I beamed, pretty sure that was a compliment.

"And your friend's a nice girl," he told me. "She's been helping Lessa with her sewing. Pretty sure she's getting paid for it too."

I huffed. "She got a job before I did?"

"You have a job," Zasen said. "Militia."

Which was when another body pushed between the people in front of us. "Pardon me. Trying to make it back there. Excuse me, please." And Omden wove his way back to stand beside Drozel. "Hey, babe."

Without shame, Drozel leaned over to kiss his boyfriend, making me glance away. No one else seemed to care, though. I was still trying to figure out all the rules for relationships up here. I'd always been taught it was shameful to giggle about it, and that it was scandalous to touch like that in public. Such things were for the marriage bed only.

That was why I was trying so hard not to seem excited, but Drozel made it clear the rules I knew weren't the right ones. That made me stop trying to hide my smile so much.

Rymar had already headed up to the stage. From all directions, people were making their way over, so when a tiny little hand tugged on mine, I wasn't surprised at all to find Tamin on the other end. When I looked down, he pulled again.

"Mama says you have to stand with her," he explained.

"Well, okay then," Zasen said, shifting places with me so I could move closer to my sister.

"Hold this," Saveah said, passing Taris to me. In doing so, she leaned in. "So how was the alcohol?"

I glanced back, checking the people around us, then moved even closer so I could whisper, "I kissed Rymar, and Kanik likes me."

"And Zasen?" she asked.

"Hm?" Zasen replied, clearly having heard his name.

Saveah waved him away. "Get your nose out of my gossip. Girl things over here!"

Which made Zasen turn his back to us and strike up a conversation with Kanik, Drozel, and Omden. Kanik still had Holly, and I was now holding the baby, so I decided this was okay. But Saveah? She tugged me even further away, putting a small gap between us and the guys.

"And Zasen?" she asked again.

"He kissed me a while back." I was sure I'd told her that before, but didn't want to make her feel bad if she'd forgotten. "That was when I realized it's okay, and Rymar let me practice. Then I said the wrong thing, and when he was explaining that, the guys overheard, and so Kanik told me he likes me too."

"I see," she said, smiling at me like I'd done something special or funny. "So what do you think about that?"

I could only shrug. "I want to smile too much? I don't know, Saveah! I don't have to pick one, and they're all proud of me, they say. But what if I do something wrong?"

"Nope, don't go there," she warned. "Ayla, you are supposed to have fun, decide if you like guys that way, and maybe you can hook up with a few. You know, like three."

"I just want to kiss them," I said.

"So do."

"But won't they get mad?"

"Have they yet?" she asked.

That was a good point. Everyone kept saying it was okay. Over and over, I'd been told I was allowed to do this, or not do this, or even make my own decisions. Still, a couple of months with so much freedom did not remove all the beatings I'd had growing up. I just had this stupid - and irrational - urge to keep making sure it was okay, even though the answer never seemed to change.

"Okay," I decided. "And I don't like hangovers. "

"No one does," she assured me. "The trick is to not drink too much or too fast. A little makes you feel nice. A lot makes you stupid, and then you feel horrible the next day." But she was smiling too much. "So, kissing is okay now?"

I nodded. "Yeah." But my face was getting warmer again. "I just don't know when it's okay."

"Whenever you want," she assured me. "And with those three? They won't hide it, so you shouldn't either. You're fine, Ayla. Don't feel pressured, and never let them make you feel like you have to do something - even the normal things - with them. Just play it by ear, okay?"

"That's another saying," I told her. "I don't know what ears have to do with it."

"It means to make it up as you go," she explained. "It's based on music, and hearing the melody to making what comes next based on what it sounded like."

"Okay." I agreed. "I can do tha- "

"We're here!" Jeera called out, cutting me off.

I turned to see Meri surrounded by three women. I was pretty sure her belly had gotten bigger, or maybe lower? Then again, that could simply be because she looked so much healthier than she had when she'd arrived.

Her skin was much less pale. Still light, but there was a tint to it now, and her cheeks didn't look as hollow as they had before. But because she was moving closer to Holly, I decided to get over there before my dog scared her again.

"Holly, down," I ordered, moving between her and my friend. "She won't get up until I say it's okay," I promised.

But Meri reached out to clasp my hands. "Thank you, but it's okay. Lessa told me about dogs, and I'm going to get over it."

"Want to pet her?" I asked.

She nodded, so I called Holly over, making her sit and stay. Then I showed Meri how to touch my dog and how Holly liked her fur ruffled. When Holly started wagging her tail, Meri tensed a bit, but once I told her that was a sign the dog was happy, Meri leaned in to pet her again.

"I heard you have a job," I said.

"I do!" she said, sounding excited about it. "Lessa lets me help her sew. Ayla, she has a machine! It makes all the stitches even, and it's so much easier than doing it by hand."

"She's good at it," Lessa said, moving in to join her. "And give me that." She stole Taris from my arms. "Saveah, you let any heathen hold this cutie?"

That brought Saveah over, with Tamin clutching her hand. "I do. Mostly because my arms need the break." Then she jerked her chin at Lessa. "What are you doing during the battle?"

"We're doing things?" Meri asked.

"Um..." Lessa looked at Meri. "Last time, we stayed at my place. Why?"

"Ah." Saveah nodded. "Well, the library is turning into a daycare that evening. The families in the militia want to make sure their kids are somewhere safe, and I volunteered to help. Mostly because it means Tamin and Taris won't have to be quiet and bored the whole time." She looked at Meri. "If you want to help, we need some more people."

"No," Meri said quickly. Too quickly.

"Actually," Zasen said, "Rymar was going to talk to you, Less."

"About?" she asked.

"Helping him. Unless you're busy, that is."

"What am I doing?" Meri asked. "Jeera will be fighting, and Brielle will be at the hospital."

"Mhm," Zasen said.

"Maybe you can help the healers?" I suggested. "I don't know if you still like that, though."

"She wrapped my tail nicely," Drozel said, clearly listening in.

"No," Brielle said. "The last thing Meri needs is to get exposed to something at this point." And she lifted a brow pointedly.

"Venom?" I guessed.

Brielle just nodded. "That's what I'm worried about. She's not immune, and if someone's injured and only partially conscious?"

"I don't want to be in the way," Meri mumbled.

Which made Lessa wrap an arm around her shoulders. "It's okay. We'll finish sewing. Maybe even cook something for Drozel and Omden, because they'll be starving when they're done."

Which made Meri nod, but it looked almost dejected. "Okay. I just don't want to be a problem."

"I felt that way too," I assured her. "They tried so hard to protect me that they wouldn't let me do the things I knew, and then I felt like I was a burden. I had to tell them I was going to help."

Meri glanced over at me, and I swore she relaxed. "It's different up here."

"Very," I said. "Like none of the rules we were taught are true. I don't even know all of it, but I like that we get choices, you know?"

"Yeah," Meri breathed just as Jerlis began whistling, making everyone fall silent and turn to face the stage.

"Listen up!" he bellowed. "Now that we know when the Moles are coming, we know how to be ready!"

That made a few people cheer. Jerlis simply patted the air, waiting for them to quiet down again. Thankfully, it didn't take long.

"Our militia will be heading outside of town again," he announced. "Thanks to the Phoenix, we've learned ways to protect our volunteers, and we think we have the advantage. Our hope is we can turn them back in the forest. But to do that, it means our militia will leave earlier."

"We'll be gone most of the day!" Drozel yelled. "Takes time to walk out that far."

"So," Jerlis continued, "because of this, we have cancelled school for the day of and the day after the battle. All businesses should be closed. However, to accommodate the volunteers who are risking their lives, we will have some communal operations. This includes a daycare at the library, an open kitchen in City Hall for anyone who needs a meal, and the first responders will be accepting volunteers for this time."

"The hospital is still looking for overnight volunteers to help with organization!" someone called out from the other side of the crowd. "More doctors won't hurt either!"

"I have a list of available positions in City Hall," Jerlis told the crowd. "We're also taking suggestions for ways to make this time easier on the citizens of Lorsa. And just like last time, we will be ringing the city bells when our militia returns. There's a good chance it will be overnight, possibly after midnight, so if you hear the alarm, know it's not an attack."

"What if it is an attack?" someone called out.

Which was when Rymar stepped forward. "Then the churches will ring their bells as well, and the ringing will not stop. For the announcement of the militia's return, we will ring the bells ten times. Just ten. If it's more than that, then take the normal precautions, but we do not expect the Moles to make it around our fighters! We now know how to turn them back. We're able to decimate them! This time, they will learn Dragons are not people to mess with!"

And that made the crowd cheer with enthusiasm. Jerlis just shook his head before reaching over to pat Rymar's shoulder. From where I stood, it looked like a sign of approval, but I knew there was a little competition between these two. Rymar was supposed to be the second-in-charge, and yet it seemed people preferred him to the man who was the city's mayor.

I knew I did. Rymar was a good man. So were Zasen and Kanik, but each one was so different from the others. The same could be said for Drozel and Omden, though. Most of the Dragons, if I was honest.

So as Jerlis and Rymar continued to explain the schedule for the security lockdown, I turned to scan the crowd around me. The people around us came in all shapes, colors, and sizes. Some yelled and others bent their heads to talk to their companions. For me, this was starting to feel normal, but I could still remember the forced silence that was expected at meetings in the compound.

Here, we fought for what we wanted. We yelled about it, refused to back down, and worried less about what was expected of us. What mattered more was honesty. Once, I'd told Jerlis that to me, this was what Heaven looked like, and while I might be getting used to it, that feeling hadn't changed.

This place was worth fighting for. It was worth risking everything for, but not even all these cheers could make me forget I was supposed to find Tobias out there. He should have information we needed, and up in my room, I had a very thick package to send back with him. One that could change everything.

But that wasn't a part of the announcement. Zasen said he didn't want to make that public knowledge, because Tobias could betray us. He could also get killed before we got what we wanted, and that scared me more than I wanted to admit.

Because without Tobias, I had no clue how I was going to save Callah. All I could hope for was that Callah was smart enough to save herself.