Phoenix’s Fire (The Ruins Of Men #2)

Chapter 86

Eighty-Six

Tobias

A yla had told us more than I'd expected. This mess of kidnapping women had been going on for nearly three decades - just longer than I'd been alive. That was why I was one of the oldest? And men couldn't survive without women's help, so we should use it? The Dragons were humans who'd been changed to live easier in the world humans had destroyed? Quickly and efficiently, she laid it all out, explaining there was even more in her letter and the book.

Then the Wyvern had returned with Ayla's brother, of all people! I'd been in the middle of bandaging Sylis's arm when the Wyvern had walked into view as if he wasn't scared of us at all. The whole time he and Ayla had spoken with Gideon, I'd been frozen in fear, but eventually, the Wyvern and the Phoenix left, and no one tried to follow them.

For a little too long, there was a stunned silence, then Gideon began snapping orders. We were all told to search the area, working in pairs, and bring back what we could to put in the carts, but not to go out of sight of the camp in case the Dragons came back. We'd come to collect food, so we wouldn't return without it!

It was gruesome work. Once, I had to rush into the bushes and retch, but Sylis assured me it was normal. Eventually, pieces of what had been people - and I didn't care what kind - were loaded up. Two carts were now full, so we began the slow march back.

Elijah had been put into the third cart, along with four other wounded men. Clothing had been used for bandages. Every bump in the road made one of them yelp or whimper. Our return would not be one to celebrate, but it also wasn't a complete loss. We'd managed to get meat. That was all that should matter, wasn't it? And yet my mind was spinning, because I didn't think we'd killed that many Dragons.

I hoped we hadn't .

With each mile, my feet slowed a little more. I didn't want to walk with the others, pretending like everything was okay. My problem was Sylis kept pace with me. He said nothing, but what would happen if he did? He'd heard everything!

The package Ayla had given me weighed heavily in my breast pocket. Tucked behind the utility vest we all wore, it couldn't be seen, but I felt it. I wanted to open it and read everything. She'd said there was information about my mother in it! But this was for Callah, not me.

Eventually, the group of us had spread out so much, no one was close enough to hear. That was when Sylis cleared his throat and looked over. I felt my heart slam against my ribs like something trying to break free, but I kept my face blank, trying my hardest to keep my eyes on the trees before us.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked.

I clenched my jaw, picking my words, but they were simple. "It was a stupid thing to do."

"Yeah," he breathed. "But not a dumb one."

That made me huff out a single chuckle. "Malcus would've shot me."

Sylis nodded at that. "I'm not Malcus."

This time, I was the one nodding. That seemed easier than actually saying anything. It also shut him up for a few steps, but only a few.

"Tobias," he said, keeping his voice low so our conversation was private, "I was hoping you had a plan. The way you begged to court her? And her, of all people?"

"Don't you dare talk poorly about Callah," I warned.

"She's the third," he pointed out. "There's a reason the council let you court her. It's because no one else wants the risk. But that you asked? C'mon, I can't be the only one wondering."

"Wondering what?" I asked.

"If you have a way out," he breathed.

I sighed. "If anyone knew, they'd kill me."

"Mhm," he agreed. "So you saved me. The dog hit you - because they all saw that. Then the grenade went off. They probably saw that too..." He glanced over. "And you shielded me."

I shrugged, feeling stupid about that. "I'm bigger."

He glanced at me, a little smile toying on his lips. "Yeah. You are." And again, he cleared his throat. "But what do we do now?"

"Well," I said, "I wait for you to betray me. I brace for something to go wrong, because the more people who know something, the faster it all unravels."

"Tell Callah to pick my wife from the women she trusts," he said. "Not the one she feels sorry for, but the one she trusts. Because if there are four of us?"

"Sylis, what are you doing?" I demanded. "Your mother wasn't stolen! You didn't grow up with whispered stories and too many questions. Why the fuck do you want out? You're a squad leader now - "

"About to be a team leader," he reminded me. "And you're going to be my assistant. My scout."

I stopped, turning to face him. "Why? "

"Because you saved me," he snapped. "You threw me down, then covered me with your own body, knowing you had something else to do. You took a risk for me, and no one in this compound does that. We do not cooperate, Tobias. We push each other down to gain the smallest benefits, hoping it will be enough to make everything worthwhile. Well, I don't care if my mother was a proper wife. Doesn't matter to me that my father spent his time with the generators. What I know is exactly what they said. The world isn't burning, beasts don't live in towns, and there's no reason for us to be locked down there when we could survive up here!"

So I grabbed his arm and pulled him forward. "Watch your mouth."

"No, I watch the people around us," he shot back. "I pay attention to who can hear and what they can see. Right now, I'm explaining to you that the Wyvern's appearance means we're winning, because you were confused as to why, if they eat us, he brought Elijah back."

"Because I'm an idiot," I realized.

"And I am not," he said. "I didn't realize that would serve me. Instead, I tried to be the smartest. I wanted to be the strongest, but I'm not a large man. I'm just very good at counting."

"Counting?" I asked.

He gestured toward where the wagons were barely visible ahead of us. "That's enough to feed us for the weddings. Barely. If we double the vegetables, we'll be fine, but December is coming."

I nodded. "I want to be out by then, but I'm not sure Callah agrees."

"What is she planning?" he asked.

I laughed once. "I will not risk her."

"Do you love her?"

I wanted to scrub at my face, pushing the thoughts into place. I couldn't, because there was no way I'd touch anything with my hands if I didn't have to. I could still smell the blood clinging to me. I didn't know if that was my clothing or my body, but thinking about it made my stomach roll again.

So did his question.

"She's nice," I finally answered. "She's also scared of what will happen when she's married."

"Me too," Sylis admitted. "I don't...." He pulled in a breath. "I know how to make children, but I don't want to."

"Me either," I agreed. "I want to hold her hand and talk to her. I don't find the idea of hurting her appealing."

"I don't want to hold their hands," he said.

I just nodded. "Have you ever had a friend?"

"You."

"I mean others," I clarified.

He laughed. "No. I joked with the boys in my room as a child, but that changed when we got older. They wanted to be stronger, or smarter, or better than the rest of us, and by the time we graduated from sermon, we were definitely not friends."

"The guys in my room would beat me up."

"To keep you from thinking you could beat them," he guessed. "I think you're as big as the Wyvern."

"Nope." I hummed at the memory of standing face to face before him. "He's taller and broader. He also listens to her."

"Ayla?"

"Shh!" I hissed. "That name will get noticed. 'Her' works."

"Good point."

So I continued, "But I think that's why she's helping. Women are smart, Sylis. Smarter than we've been told. Smarter than most of us. They think about things, and act in ways to convince us it's our idea. They understand the consequences of everything. So for the Wyvern to respect her like that? I think he unlocked something, and I have a feeling Callah has it too."

"What about the other one?" he asked. "Merienne. Is she dead?"

"No, she's pregnant and being cared for. They have medicine, and their women do not die from giving birth."

He murmured at that. "So why do they need the code?"

"To get in."

"Sounds to me like that's not what they need." He shifted a little closer and lowered his voice even more. "What we need is to figure out how to get out. Them, us, and everyone who deserves it. Because if the rest are locked in..."

His words made me feel like I'd just been punched in the gut. "But how?"

"I know where the town is," he said. "I've been there, and it's the same way we keep going. We need to get out and walk, then keep walking."

"They will chase us," I reminded him.

He grunted at that. "Probably, but what would happen if we went another way? Backed up, then waited a bit. There's water. There's food. He said so."

"And I don't know how to find it," I pointed out.

Sylis merely looked over. "Would Callah?"

Sadly, I knew the answer to that. "No."

"Damn it," he cursed. "Okay, so we get the code to prove ourselves, but we'll need a plan. If they come in, they'll kill us all. We'll need to know when it's happening."

I nodded. "I'll talk to Callah about it. She'll think of something."

"Like yellow favors?" Sylis asked. "You don't think people are going to start to wonder about that color?"

"So we figure it out," I told him. "We start thinking about this, and stop waiting to be told how to save ourselves. I always thought it was just me and Callah, but now she's worried about the other women..." I paused, almost stopping there, but then deciding I had nothing to lose. "I'm worried about you now."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"I like having friends," I admitted. "It sounds stupid to say it aloud like that, but it's still true. "

"I like having you as a friend," he said. "I hope that when you marry Callah, you won't forget we're actually friends."

"They don't let friends work together," I pointed out. "They want you to shoot me if I try to run, and for me to shoot you."

"So we prove ourselves," he suggested. "You saved me. You fought off the dog - "

"Beast," I corrected. "We're not supposed to know it's called a dog."

"Right. But you still defeated the beast with your bare hands last time, and the other one tore people down."

"Yep," I said.

"So you're a useful idiot," he decided. "I'll be a loyal man with aspirations of becoming an elder one day. I'll make it clear I can use you, and that I want to make sure your wife is truly as proper and pious as you say."

"And you're really going to help me?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said softly. "I always thought I'd die out here, and I kinda liked that. I thought it might be better than down there, you know?"

"Yeah."

"But," he said, "I'd prefer to live. From what, uh, she was saying, it sounds like I could have choices up here."

"Mhm," I agreed.

"So what will you do when you're no longer trapped with the Righteous?"

I felt my lips curling and I glanced away. "Don't laugh, okay?"

"Promise."

"I want to learn how to cook food and sew clothes."

"Like a woman?"

"Yeah, I dunno, maybe?" I shrugged, knowing it was a stupid thing to want. "I just want to learn. I might hate it, but what I hate more is that I can't even try. Girls get to turn nothing into something, and we just turn something into nothing."

"I like that," he said. "I want to paint."

"Paint?" I asked, thinking about the walls or tables that had been repaired.

"Like the pictures from sermon," he explained. "The ones that show what we see, or feel. My mother used to draw, making designs she'd embroider on our clothes. I always thought it was impressive. I can't make things like she did. She just made these lines, and then it was something else. I want to do that, but with all the colors of the world."

"Yeah," I agreed. "That's a good one. I bet you'd be a good painter, Sylis."

"I bet I'd be horrible," he countered. "But it would be nice to try. I just think the Wyvern might have a point. The Devil is winning, but not up here. He has taken control of the compound instead. We aren't Righteous, Tobias. We're a plague."

"But we don't have to stay that way," I reminded him. "We just have to make sure we don't get caught."

"And the more people you have helping, the more options you have," he said.

I grunted at that. "Callah calls it a rebellion. "

"I like rebellion," Sylis agreed. "I'm also scared to death, because if this doesn't work..."

I shrugged. "So we make it work, because I don't want to live the rest of my life down there. I'd rather die. That's why I'm doing this. Unlike you or Callah, I have nothing left to lose, and everything to gain."