Pieces of Us

Epilogue With You

Lincoln

A year has come and gone between last Christmas, and what a difference 365 days makes.

‘I told you the spending limit was $1,000,’ I chastise Amity. I got her a Dior Montaigne link choker, while she decided to buy me a trip to Vegas to see the UFC live. Courtside tickets, of course. The airfare one way alone is more than my entire present.

‘But Dad and Uncle Jacob are going with you, and Rome, and Jagger is going to meet you there. Plus, I have to do interviews backstage.’ She tries to justify her ludicrous spending.

Pulling her onto my lap and kissing her like crazy doesn’t seem to go down too well with anyone else in the room, especially Uncle Mark.

‘That’s enough. Stop molesting my baby girl.’ I know he’s only kidding, but I don’t want to piss him off right before I’m about to ask him the biggest question of his life.

‘Thank you, baby.’ I say sincerely, looking into her eyes, because this present is a dream. Tapping her on the ass she scrambles off.

‘We can do a helicopter over the Grand Canyon, too. Remember that was always on our bucket list!?’ She claps her hands in excitement, which warms my soul.

Ever since we’ve been back together, it’s like she has this extra glow. There were a few hiccups at first, especially as I waded through adjusting to her issues, but now I can tell when she’s triggered and I know how to help, rather than be a bigger problem.

On New Year’s last year, we worked out that she’d split her time between Los Angeles and here, and while she was back here, she’d stay with me. I don’t want to get into the specifics, but I feel like this was completely different to when Billie and I had a temporary go at it. It felt more natural between Amity and I.

Despite Amity making my place her homebase, she was still only here for maybe less than half a year, which sucked. Her constant jetting around the world continually stole her away from me, but I took every chance I got to join her if my own schedule allowed. My work was a lot more flexible than hers, meaning I could virtually work anywhere in the world at times, which, lucky for me, took me to all sorts of new places. I visited places like Old Trafford Stadium to see my team, Manchester United, to New York to see the Yankees.

The last year was pure bliss, falling even more in love with Hart.

A picture perfect example of her beauty, grace and forgiveness was when we bumped into Billie. It was the anniversary of the miscarriage. When we lost the baby, Billie wanted to take a walk along the beach, so we did that on the day we lost them, and every year after that, even if we weren’t together. With everything that had happened last year, Billie and I hadn’t spoken, so I had no idea if she’d go down to the beach. After cutting ties with my old group and her effectively, and her moving onto another temp job, there was honestly no reason why we’d be in the same room together unless we bumped into each other. She attempted once or twice to message me, but I blocked her number straight away. I wasn’t interested if she wanted to apologise or if her aim was to try and seduce me again. She was a big part of my past, but Amity would always be a bigger part of my past, present and future.

As Hart and I walked along the beach that day, hand in hand, feeling the sand between our toes, I wondered how difficult it must have been for Amity to be reminded of yet another first I didn’t give to her. Apart from the clashing of the waves and a few seagulls squawking, there weren't many other sounds. We didn’t fill the silence with chatter. We just got lost in our own heads. It wasn’t until she saw Billie sitting, with her toes dipped in the ocean that she said anything.

‘I’m going to go see if she needs anything.’ I was stunned, and before I knew it, Amity was already sitting down next to her. Standing there in shock, I didn’t know if my presence would be welcome or not, so I watched my wonderful woman embrace Billie as if she hadn’t destroyed her world for years and years. When she let go, she squeezed her hand and teetered over to me again ‘You should go sit with her for a bit. I’ll meet you back home.’ With that, she wandered off down the beach.

As expected though, emotions on both ends were amplified, and we needed to call Dr April to steer us through it. Amity was still hurt that I’d given away every significant milestone to date to someone else, and truthfully, she was right. My first kiss. First Fuck. First baby. First time living with someone else was with someone else. What she didn’t know was the first and only time I’d be getting down on one knee would be to her. My first earthside baby would be with her, and a guarantee I could give her was every one of my lasts. My last kiss. Last fuck. Last look. And last breath.

‘I’ll get dessert ready,’ Amity says, stuffing the balls of wrapping paper in a bag. She’s made Jagger’s famous pumpkin pie, two of them actually. She knows we all devour it when she makes it.

‘Sounds good, baby. Need any help?’ Uncle Mark asks. He’s hosting this year as it was at Dad’s last year. All the girls jump in and offer to instead, which I’m thankful for because I don’t want to be sus as fuck by calling him away. I guess I could always ask him about work, but we have a rule not to talk about work during family time.

When the girls are safely inside the kitchen, far, far away from where we are, I make a point of turning up the TV just in case. We’re all stuffed from Christmas lunch, which I guess is a good thing because if either of the dads don’t like what I have to say, they won’t be able to get very far on full stomachs.

‘Uncle Mark. Dad.’ I cut their siestas short and just in time too because Dad looks like he is going to take a nap.

‘Yeah?’ Dad grunts.

‘I, ah, I have something to ask you, Uncle Mark, but I also really want Dad to be here too.’

Both sensing something is fishy, they snap their attention to me. I see a look pass through them as if they know what’s coming, but I can tell they want me to have this moment.

‘Inside study talk?’ Uncle Mark asks. I nod. I know he keeps the top shelf whisky there and truth be told, I could really use one right now.

‘We’re just going to study for a minute. Work stuff,’ Uncle Mark shouts. If it comes from him it sounds more convincing as it was his rule to not talk about work to begin with.

‘Five minutes. You said no work,’ Amity calls back.

We scurry to his office as if we’re escaping the scene of a crime.

Apart from Amity’s old bedroom for obvious reasons, this is my favourite room in their home. On one entire wall there is a collage of black and white photos of all of our lives together. I see a few empty spaces are left to be filled, which gives me hope that one day our wedding photos will adorn the walls.

As the lock clicks into place, I know there isn’t a chance in hell that anyone is getting in here—or out, which makes me slightly nervous.

‘Glenfiddich?’

‘Please.’

‘One for me too,’ Dad adds.

As Uncle Mark busies himself with our drinks, Dad and I sit on the lounge. Another reason why I love this room so much is because of the sports memorabilia Uncle Mark has collected over the years, which includes a basketball signed by Michael Jordan and a football signed by Lionel Messi. He’s promised me that when he dies, he'll leave his collection to me, which is a sign in itself that he sees me as his son. Still, my palms are perspiring at the thought of asking him this question.

Passing me the drink, I swallow the finger whole.

‘Son, if you need to be drunk to ask me what I think you’re going to ask, that doesn’t bode well for you. Do you need to be drunk when asking me this question?’ he calls me out, making Dad laugh.

‘Give him a break. Not like either of us has great experience,’ Dad says, going in to bat for me.

‘You’re right. Go ahead, Linc.’

Placing my tumbler down on the table next to me, I lean forward and look at Uncle Mark dead in his eyes. I definitely don’t need alcohol to be with his daughter.

‘I want to ask Amity to marry me.’

‘Why?’ What the fuck? He knows why. Do I have to spell it out for him? Apparently so.

‘Because I am deeply in love with her. I’ve loved her from the moment we met at daycare, and there isn’t a day that my soul hasn’t burned for her. She is my heart. I promise you, on my life, on the life of your future grandkids, no one will cherish her more than me. She’s everything I want in a friend, a wife and a mother. She’s always been the other half of me, even when I was too young and dumb to see it. Please let me marry her,’ I plead.

At some point, Dad’s clutched onto my shoulder, and I’m taking it as a good sign that Uncle Mark’s eyes are glistening, which I don’t think is from the whisky.

‘Come here,’ Uncle Mark pulls me from the cushion into a hug. ‘You’ve always been like a son to me. There’s no one else she has ever belonged to.’ He pats my back over.

‘Proud of you, son. You two belong together. She’s already my daughter in every sense of the word, but making it official makes me so damn happy. Do you have a ring?’ Dad asks as he steals me away from Uncle Mark to give me his own hug.

‘Yeah. Want to see?’ I start flicking through a secret folder in my phone. I chose a four carat oval cut that sits on a thin band encrusted with diamond paves. I hope like hell her tastes haven’t changed over the years, because that’s the one she said she wanted way back when we were fourteen, when she saw some celebrity wearing it. She then became obsessed with buying fake ones and wearing them as fashion jewellery. I could have asked Crystal, Lily, Jas or Ella, but knowing them they’d spill the beans to Amity, and I want this to be out of the blue. She’s had enough surprises for a lifetime—and not many good ones—so I need to make this the most memorable and special, since this will be the first ‘first’ we share together.

‘Phwoar, that thing is going to way her hand down,’ Dad said. ‘Good job.’

‘Only the best for my girl,’ Uncle Mark said, whistling.

‘When are you going to do it?’

‘In a couple of days. We’re having a low key New Year, which is a big deal, because she’s always off somewhere. I told her I booked us an Airbnb, which I did, but I’m going to intentionally get lost and blame it on the navigator. Where I’m taking her is the land I bought for our new home. Thought New Year. New home. New fiancé—hopefully—and new beginnings.’

‘She’ll love it. She might lead a life in front of the world, but you know better than anyone how notoriously private she is,’ Uncle Mark says.

Do I ever. She is currently suing one of the media outlets for posting intimate pictures of us online. Thank fuck we weren’t naked, but anyone could hazard a guess that it was headed in that direction with her straddling my lap. I don’t even know how they spotted us. Jag loaned us his boat and we were somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea. Fortunately for Amity, it didn’t affect her sponsors and seemed to bolster her popularity, but even in the midst of chaos, I was the one she was worried about—and her Dad. She said she didn’t want me getting unwanted attention or harassed. She was mortified that Uncle Mark saw her in that position, as any sane daughter would be if they were caught by their parents.

‘I know,’ I chuckle.

A series of thuds hit the door. ‘Come on or you won’t get any pie,’ Amity threatens. That’s enough for the three of us to clamour to the door.

‘Linc, sweetie, baby, cookie, honey. I think you’re lost,’ Amity teases.

I fake furrow my brow in confusion over where the navigator seems to be taking us. We’ve a leisurely afternoon of fucking and packing for our mini staycation. It’s just the distraction I need to calm my nervous energy. I know that tonight will go as planned, but it’s still stressful as fuck, making it perfect.

‘It says a few more minutes,’ I shrug, taking her hand in mine and kissing it. It’s taking a few more minutes because the company I hired to set everything up were running late as was the photographer so I had to stall. Dad texted about ten minutes ago with a code message telling me that it was good to loop back around and head in the right direction again.

‘Okayyyy.’ She extends the word, like she doesn’t believe me.

As I give her a ‘just trust me’ look I’m breathless at how perfect she is. I have to pinch myself every day to remind myself what a lucky son of a cunt I am that she’s mine. Her hair looks like she’s just been fucked, or at the beach all day. It’s wavy and has a bounce and gloss to it that I swear other women would pay hundreds for in the salon. Even though we’re staying in, she still needs to shoot a reel or a fake reel when midnight comes around, so she’s wearing shimmery eye shadow that accentuates her forest green eyes. Her lashes are thick and long but not drag-queen long, and her pouty mouth is covered in a light pink. She said she’ll do a quick outfit change before she presses record, but right now she’s in a light pink sundress that brings out her golden tan. It’s a babydoll dress I’m told—whatever that means—but if it has anything to do with looking like a barbie doll, I’d say she’s nailed it. Deciding to not do the douchey thing and match her, I’m in jeans and a button up white shirt.

It’s funny because as we draw closer to the engagement site—AKA where our home will be built—all my nerves start to dissipate. My heart’s thump is steadily paced out now, and I don’t feel any wetness coating the areas of my body where sweat usually would. I feel like it’s one more step to our forever.

In the distance, I see glares of flames. It’s like fireflies are dotting the skies from where we are, but I know better. I know that as we get closer an outline of our home will be drawn with hundreds of candles—just like Derek did for Meredith when he proposed.

I’m grateful that Amity is looking at her phone. She’s entranced as I pull to a stop and open my door. I thank my lucky stars that she hasn’t looked up from her phone yet. She probably just thinks we’re here. As I walk to the passenger door, I silently but happily say goodbye to my single life forever. ‘Ready, Hart?’ I hold my breath as I take her hands in mine. She’s turned to the side, so she doesn’t even see out of her periphery the oranges and yellows.

When she stands fully, I bend down to kiss her. Our last kiss before she’s wearing my ring.

As I turn her, clasping her hand in mine, she gasps and stills. I have to say the set up is pretty as a picture. Not only do the hundreds and hundreds of candles light the open space, but the view is spectacular. As dusk sets in, it’s just light enough to see that we’re standing on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the sea.

‘W-what is this? Where are we?’ Her whisper is almost inaudible, as if she can’t believe what she’s seeing. I don’t even think it’s registered that this is all for her.

I gently push us further to the outline, leading us to the heart of our home. I haven’t let go of her hand the entire time, but I feel it start to shake as I wobble down on one knee and retrieve the ring box from my back pocket. She jerks both hands back, covering her mouth. Audible sobs slip from her lips as her eyes shed tears.

She definitely knows what’s coming now. I stare up at this magnificent creature, marvelling at how in love I am with her. I wait patiently for her to collect herself before reaching up for her left hand. Even though she’s crying, heck even though we’re both shedding tears, our smiles say it all.

‘Amity Hartford. My baby. My heart. I didn’t know it until I was four, but I’d be born without a part of my heart. When you entered my life, the other half of my soul was found in you. You lit my life up to heights I couldn’t even imagine, and when we lost each other, I was in perpetual darkness. I am so in love with you that I know that in every lifetime, I will always find you. You always say that I’m your missing link. Well, baby, if that’s true, you’re my whole heart. You keep me alive. You keep me breathing. There is no me without you. I’ve loved you as my friend, as my best friend, as my girlfriend. It’s not enough anymore, I need you to be my wife, the mother of our children, my forever. Amity Hartford, will you marry me?’ I don’t know how I didn’t butcher what I said, or how she isn’t revolted that I’m so overcome with emotion that water is leaking from my eyes and nostrils, but I’m fucking grateful.

She nods vigorously. ‘Yes. Yes. Yes. I’ll marry you,’ she whimpers. I slide the ring permanently on her ring finger and pull her down for a kiss.

My knee starts to hurt, so I push up and gather her in my arms, swinging her around as our tongues duel together. Once both of us are out of oxygen, she grabs my face and starts kissing it all over. Planting her back on the ground, I tip her chin up to give her one last kiss.

‘Ahh! I can’t believe it,’ she squeals, jumping up and down as she stares at her extended hand. ‘It’s gorgeous. How did you know?’ I rub my chest at the excited slap she just gave me.

I laugh at her giddy expression. ‘You told me when we were, like, fourteen. Some celebrity got engaged, and you said that was the one you wanted.’

‘I can’t believe you remembered.’

‘There’s nothing about you that I’d ever forget.’ I hug her tightly, squeezing a little too hard, just so I can remember this moment is real. My eyes are blurry from more tears that want to escape. I’ve waited and wanted this moment forever.

As we both stare off into the distance, letting the last few minutes sink in, I memorise this moment forever.

‘Linc?’

‘Hmm? I say over the top of her head.

‘Where the fuck are we?’ Bursting out laughing, I give her another kiss on her hair before pulling away. I start spinning with my arms open wide, confusing the fuck out of her. ‘We’re home, baby. This is where our future home will be built.’

‘Shut up! No fucking way!’ She animatedly propels herself at me, lunging in my arms. I nearly have a heart attack, unsure if we’re near the edge of the cliff. Thankfully we’re not but we are near a fuck tonne of candles that could burn my ass and cock off. Real romantic ending to a proposal, that would be. I can see the headlines now, ‘Newly Engaged Couple Burn to Death’.

‘Believe it, Hart.’ We’ve had the worst luck when it comes to finding the perfect piece of land. First, the sellers pulled out last minute and took a location we wanted off the market. The next plot we went for wasn’t foundationally stable. The one after that was next to a breeding lab for rats, which when we found out, sent Amity running for the hills. The one after that had about a million dollars worth of excavation to do, and then the last one we got pipped at the post by a wealthy developer. It had taken me a full ten months to find this piece, which ticked every one of our boxes: space, overlooking the ocean, near our parents.

It only dawns on her then exactly what I’ve set up here.

‘Oh my god. Oh my God. Oh my God,’ she yells, losing her mind.

‘What?’ I say, bemused.

‘You set up a Derek freaking Shepherd proposal! You. You. Oh my God, you were paying attention and watching all those episodes! I can’t believe this. I’m like Meredith! This is the best proposal ever in the history of proposals. Ever.’ I fucking love that I did this for her.

‘Anything for you, Hart.’ I pepper her ring finger with kisses as a sign of my love and promise to her.

‘This is beyond my wildest dreams. Thank you.’ She is so sincere as she looks around at the effort I put into the proposal.

We decide to ring her dad, who I know is with my dad to break the news. As we make it through the list of phone calls we need to, we sit down and eat the prepared catered picnic I had organised. I tell her about the photographer catching it all on camera, and our dads reaction when I asked for her hand. We are there long enough to catch the nine P.M. fireworks that are down on the beach, but definitely not the midnight ones.

As the clock strikes twelve, Amity is riding my cock.

I laugh, hearing the neighbours count down from ten to one.

‘Happy New Year, fiancé.’