7
We made up for the lame naked time in the morning, and Branko said more than once that he really enjoyed spending the night with me. It was actually amusing, and several people chuckled who overheard him.
“Not to put a downer on your mood, but you were really a draw to corrupted,” Sundar said as he approached me with dozens of very old vampires who weren’t nobles. “And they are more dexterous. I saw several easily break out of doors or push down to open the handle ones. They still don’t seem to be able to turn actual knobs—”
“But they can handle basics,” I muttered. “And not just several of them in a frenzy can break through a door or window with sheer force.”
“No, it was one I saw shove open a normal type house front door and then race towards you. I was about thirty miles away and he went right for you.” He nodded when several of us couldn’t hide our shock.
“I saw one at fifty miles,” someone else added. “We had people set up at intervals, many of us wanting to test this since we knew you’d be there for a while.”
“This tracks with what Nora has reported back about laying your blood out and how they still go towards it for days even after bombs have taken many out,” Jamelle muttered as he joined us.
“Let’s discuss this over breakfast today and come up with some quick ideas,” I said, nodding to Kristof that it was okay. For today. I wanted this handled as well.
We went back and forth and came to some really great decisions and people put forth some inventive ideas. Everything from rotating locations where even a thimbleful of my blood was put down to I had dinner at random places drawn by lottery so Keres and her people couldn’t know where we’d be.
They would all help and throw them off. I also had one because I was tired of playing so much defense.
“I want landmines all over Florida,” I told all the nobles and really old vampires we trusted who had come for breakfast.”
The room went eerily quiet for several moments before a few people burst out laughing.
“I’m not done,” I said before they could jump on me. “I also want all of the animals out of there. They have it too easy. If they can come up here and start trouble for us, then let them have more trouble getting what they can.” I looked to Sebastian. “Tell Nora she can have everything in Florida if she sends a stealthy team to steal it out from under them.”
“That’s a dangerous game to play, Princess,” he muttered.
“But a smart one,” Jamelle praised, nodding when others seemed hesitant. “I know, I know, we’re all shitting ourselves that she’s Erebus’s champion. Take that out of the equation and you have a young princess. She won’t be for long. Fine, but how do we fight that now? ”
“Make things more difficult for her and stop playing so much damn defense,” I answered with a smirk. “We know where now. So enough. Go fucking turn everything there into energy beads. Go get the animals out. Put down landmines around the fucking coven. Whatever we can so they start having to deal with shit. We’re way more than them.”
“She’ll retaliate,” Kristof warned me, worry in his tone.
“Yes, she will, and I’m sure she’ll do something with the ghosts again.” I let out a sigh when he frowned. I went to tell him, but then I muttered that we’d talk later. No matter how much I trusted people there, there were some things I shouldn’t tell everyone.
Like I’d realized we’d missed something. Once I’d had a full day to decompress and just relax after so much stress and crazy, some things had clicked for me.
Like how could Cerdic have had a vision of Sundar killing corrupted in Russia and matching the ghosts to the ones who overwhelmed me that day but then none of his ghosts bothered me when he killed corrupted in Africa? Something had happened. Something had changed.
And I would put anything on it being Keres. My guess was some power. Aether had sent Cerdic a vision to warn us of some sort of power.
A power strong enough that it had probably knocked Keres out for a while which was why she’d left us alone for a bit. Then the attack on Fort Knox to throw us off. But things weren’t done with the ghosts or these better corrupted. No, she was a smart adversary. There was more to it.
There was more to all of this, so it was time to start giving it back.
“This might be a task Nora might only entrust family with,” Jamelle hedged. “They would be the only ones powerful enough and could—only them.”
They could hide, and he wasn’t going to announce that.
I nodded. “Whatever our allies feel is best but obviously not all at once. Nora can head this up and discuss it over there with less ears and only their inner circles. I will turn a blind eye to Florida but make it clear we want to put down land mines and soon.”
“If you had a few dozen boats ready in Jacksonville, that’s far enough north of that coven, and they could easily sail up to Boston and get everything loaded—run back and forth—” Jamelle started to plan.
“Plot it out, not here where we’re being watched,” I reminded him. “And yes, that’s fine. Have Nora slip me a note with her decision and we’ll make it work. No matter what we decide, they will probably hit it. So come up with more plans too.”
I thanked everyone and especially the kitchen for another amazing breakfast. They were looking better now that they weren’t worrying about lunches. Nick said it made all of the difference and now they could talk about training other people which would benefit the coven all around in the long run.
We liked plans like that. Ones that involved the “long run.”
Because it meant we won and had a future.
I went off with Petre and Sisay since they were on my detail. James had already figured out why he had been instructed to meet up with Moon and was brought somewhere. He winked at me and started stripping, changing into his leopard right away and trotting over to me.
I squatted down and gave him love, telling him that the evil turkeys had been mean to me again and I wanted him to avenge my honor… But that I had a present for him first.
Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a pink leather collar loaded with diamonds for bling and a matching leash. I smirked at him as I held it up. “I told you that I would do it. You agreed and—”
His paw swiped out and nabbed it from me before I could finish. The three nobles hissed and I didn’t catch it at first, but James’s claws had been out and two of them had caught my skin.
I watched as a few drops of my blood fell to the ground.
Over a joke.
I glanced between the small cuts on my hand that were already healing to his leopard throwing a fit and destroying my gag gift. Diamonds were flying all over which really upset me because someone had painstakingly set them and sewn them all on at my request. Even if it had been a gag, that was someone’s hard work.
He yowled when he was done, clawing at the ground like he still had a lot to say about what I’d done.
Until he saw that I was crying.
“I hate that I love you, and I hope I stop soon,” I whispered so quietly that I barely heard myself but knew he still did. I was going to say more, but… What was the point?
What else was there really to say?
What was the point now in telling him that I wasn’t going to make him wear it in front of others? It wasn’t like I was going to parade him around in front of people wearing that. The bet had been in front of another court. I would never have really done that to James. I would never have let people laugh at him like that.
But he was fine with people laughing at me that I never actually followed through on the bet or my threats to do it and I was whipped. That was okay.
That wasn’t love.
It was toxic.
“We can be early to Albuquerque,” I whispered as I moved over to Petre.
“Yes, My Princess.”
“Inez, wait,” James said from behind me, having shifted back.
But I didn’t. I hugged closer to Petre when he picked me up to blur off. I was glad when he’d taken the hint and off we went.
Except we didn’t arrive at Albuquerque.
We stopped before there for another problem I didn’t want to deal with… Namely Chris.
“What now? ” I asked about as patiently as I could as I took in the scene.
“We can’t keep him here, Princess,” one of Shawn Boyle’s clan answered, seeming just as frustrated. “That’s your orders not to keep anyone at the settlement. He said if no one would take him to the castle then he would walk there.”
But three of them were escorting him because… Well, they knew us losing a human would be bad.
Chris seemed to understand something changed and did a double take when he saw me, dropping to a knee. “Please. Please just let me see him. I know I’m the asshole but—”
“Tyson really isn’t there, Chris,” Sisay sighed. “We weren’t just giving you a line. He’s in France—”
“He would never leave his younger brothers with everything going on,” Chris snapped.
“He did,” I cut in, moving over to him now that I was steady. I patted his arm so he got the idea and stood. “We needed his help, and he needed some space. Trisha and James swore to watch his brothers like they’re their own. They’re at the castle fine. They’re actually training with Nick, and I think they needed a bit of a break from Ty too.”
Chris actually flinched and we all froze. He sighed when he noted that but kept my gaze. “Look, I know you’re too busy and I’m the asshole here, but can we please talk. I have a side to this too and—please?”
I snorted, feeling bad when he seemed hurt. “I’m not the right person to talk relationships with. One of mine just blew up in my face too.”
“I’m sorry for that, but I think you would understand this and there’s been tension,” he grumbled, gesturing to Sisay who was giving him a shit look. Then even to Shawn’s clan.
Fuck.
I nodded. “Let’s take a walk then. I want to work on my power a bit now that I did something new.” I glanced at those with us. “And the peanut gallery will be silent and lose the damn judgment. People so much older should know there are always more sides to the story.”
“It hurts so much because you’re always right,” Sisay grumbled.
“Yeah, but Kristof said Tyson reminded you of family, so that comes into play too,” Chris forgave, scrubbing his hand over his head. He did a double take when Petre took his pack from him. “I can carry that.”
“You’re offended and I don’t get why. This weighs nothing to me, and—you’re tired and need to stretch your legs for your mental health. I’m just trying to help.”
“Thanks,” Chris accepted, but his tone was off. He sighed when he saw me studying him. “Lead the way.”
Okay then. I did, moving along the main road and using my power to turn things into energy beads and shooting it out in front of me. I thought of the visual of the line I’d used to take out corrupted at Fort Knox but also in a punch like what I’d done to Branko.
Or gave it more punch. I was sort of thinking of a bullet out from me and whatever it hit was taken out.
And it worked.
“Well done, Princess,” Petre praised. “All the cars on this street for a good hundred yards were just taken out. If that was easy for you then it’s much better than towing them all to be grouped up.”
“But we should still do that so not everything is on Inez,” Sisay argued. “People need to push themselves. The fact she’s the first princess to figure out they can all use that power to heal instead of just hurt fucking chaps me. I’m working on my visuals too like she is. Teach all us old dogs new tricks.”
My face flushed when Petre and the shifters agreed.
“That’s something to think about,” Chris muttered, bobbing his head. “People that old who can adjust.” He stared out at the day and seemed to get a bit lost in his head, so I let him, keeping with my power and wanting to destroy things after my own day took a turn.
I wasn’t picturing James, but I did want to drop all the energy beads on him a few times.
“All I kept hearing was that he would make the same decision,” Chris finally said after several minutes. “That he would make the decisions. And the proof was there. Yes, the castle was great—is great, but he decided we lived there. All of my guys, my brothers now were living in Albuquerque. He wasn’t hearing me that it was more important than he was taking it.
“He kept saying they were fine and it was handled. They were safe. We were all safe. I just needed to be in the castle and trust him. I could be whisked off there to visit when I needed to be. But fuck—the lemon juice is really helping and they’re talking other ideas. I’m glad because—it’s not just those few minutes after that get me.”
I nodded. “Yeah, and it’s super awkward being carried. That took me a while to get used to it. People I didn’t even know their names—couldn’t remember them and they’d just pick me up and whisk me off. It’s fucking awkward, and no one was hearing me how upsetting and frustrating it was.”
“Yeah, or they’re pissed at me that I’m fighting with Ty and taking his side. I honestly was shitting a brick that I might be dropped off the side of a mountain because I don’t know these people,” Chris muttered. “Unfair or not—just, I’m fried. Like fried . You called my PTSD right.” He sighed. “Does it fuck with your stomach too?”
“No, not anymore but…” I snorted. “Kristof kept trying to make out and I always had to fart. It was so—we’d zip all over the place and it would give me gas. And like—that’s so mortifying. Nothing makes you feel like such a baby or fragile—Jaxon would chuckle that even my toots were cute and—like come on.”
“Yes, exactly ,” Chris sighed. “Like, way to be dismissive.”
Shit. There was way more to Chris and Ty’s fighting than I’d understood, and Ty might not have been as faultless as I’d thought.
“He was so caught up in his fear,” Chris whispered. “That was what you got off of me about his brothers. I kept telling him to back off of them a bit. They’re kids, but they’re in their twenties. They weren’t even in the military, but he snuck them into uniforms and onto his assignment when it got bad and they were going onto ships.
“They could have killed him for that. He’s been stuck in that mode—that fear of getting caught and protecting them since. I think he just pulled me into it when he found me. But I’m not them. What happened that night wasn’t the blowup, Inez—Princess. It was the last straw of too much. It’s not about me being human or him a shifter. He just took over .
“I was running a huge ass settlement and then he wanted me locked up safe in the castle like his pretty princess—sorry, I meant fairytale type. That wasn’t a dig.” He waited until I nodded. “And it was too much of a change for me. I couldn’t go back and forth, and he would get upset when I did because it made me sick.
“We could have just crashed in Albuquerque now and again, but he had to be there with his brothers. He would just decide. He was the one deciding. And yeah, I didn’t want to start trouble and I saw the signs. I saw the upset. I saw… I saw it on me too. I saw how fried and all over I was. I’m not stupid. I knew I was barely holding it together. I knew— I know that .”
“I want to believe you, and I believe you believe this and it’s not messed up, but I’m just not seeing it when Ty is one of the coolest cats around,” I muttered. “I’m just not seeing how it plays out.”
“I’ve seen it,” Petre admitted moving in front of us. He nodded and sighed. “Not to the point Chris is explaining or that I understood there was a problem. I swear it, but he was so used to being a shield. He blocked everything from his brothers. He was doing the same to you at times, My Princess. He would keep problems away or make people behave.”
“And it’s not like he was abusive,” Chris hurried to say. “I’m not saying—he just was being the big brother, not a partner . And this isn’t over years. It was weeks and too much going on. I know I didn’t handle it right. I just thought we needed a break and some space and I blinked and it was weeks and…”
“No fucking breaks in the fucking apocalypse,” I grumbled.
“Yeah, agreed,” Chris whispered, blinking back tears. “Seriously, my days were just—there’s so much to do. Always one more thing that turns into fourteen before bed. Just a few more to help and handle so there’s less for tomorrow, and there’s never less for tomorrow because there’s so much more added.”
“You need to learn to say no as much as I fucking do,” I muttered. “Seriously, I was just saying the same damn thing.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely my problem.” He snorted. “One of them.” He stopped and grabbed my arm to halt me but immediately dropped it. “I’m not that guy. Yes, some of what I said was off and you set me straight, but it was more than what you got from Ty. He wasn’t hearing me that it wasn’t just about that night and that one decision.
“That—him saying again and again he would make the same decision—keep making decisions for me was like a wake-up call that things were bad. Or at least not okay. We weren’t okay, and I didn’t want us to be like that. I couldn’t get him to hear me that it wasn’t just about that night and he couldn’t trap me in the castle and take away the life I had.”
“I did hear you say almost that exactly once,” Sisay admitted quietly. “But then I heard you say the kid thing and you sounded like an asshole again.”
“The peanut gallery should shut the fuck up,” I seethed.
“No, that’s actually helpful and lets me know I wasn’t communicating as well as I thought,” Chris said with a huff. He took off walking again and I had to jog several steps to catch up and honestly he was more stomping. “I feel better hearing that I wasn’t saying it right than he didn’t love me enough to hear me. I think.”
“Yeah, that part gets hard and hurts no matter which way it is,” I agreed.
“Right?” Chris chuckled darkly but then got serious. “But I’m a military man too and I don’t explain my feelings well and maybe he didn’t always cut me slack. Yes, I said I didn’t like being stuck in the safe room with the kids, but my point was I wasn’t one of his kids to make that call for—all the calls he was making. I wasn’t a child to make decisions for.”
I nodded as he explained his point a lot better and way more eloquently. The time and perspective clearly having helped him lay out his feelings.
And probably getting to talk to his friends like when I talked with Trisha and the others.
“I have one more main point that I think makes it clear that I’m not the villain here, and I hope you hear me that it’s a problem that I have to defend myself that I’m not a villain and this all blew up this way,” Chris said firmly. He sighed when I winced. “Not you. You got drunk listening to your friend and snapped.
“You were actually—I mean all the passive-aggressive pussies.” He snorted when people frowned. “What, you were. Eating my food in protest? You didn’t tell me to pull my head out of my ass or even try to talk to me like Inez did. You laughed when Ty dumped me saying I deserved it. That has caused problems because my people saw my side and now we have issues.”
“Agreed,” I said firmly. “And I’ve yelled at people for the same. They froze out Darius or Jaxon and that doesn’t help . It isolates them instead of letting them know they have people they can turn to . We all need to feel we can turn to people and discuss these problems. I agree they might not be such big deals, but it’s the apocalypse. Everything is a big fucking deal.”
“Are you taking your own advice?” Chris asked gently.
“I’m trying to. I asked for help and hopefully might have found a shrink to work with before I break again now that I learned about my psycho family and the answers about my past,” I answered, not caring who was around. “And I really want to discuss if my fucked in the head brother and the way he programmed me has anything to do with the men I chose to love.”
“I wouldn’t think so, and we’re all just idiots,” Chris… Comforted? He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his head again. “Ty could have come see me. I didn’t tell him to fuck off or that I was leaving. I said it calmly and clearly that I couldn’t keep fighting and I needed a breather. That the back and forth was killing my stomach and I just wanted to really check on—”
“It sounded like you were picking them over working things out with him,” Sisay argued.
“Because you were on his side and not being fair,” Chris snapped.
“I agree, Sisay,” I muttered. “I wasn’t there, but if I didn’t trust Kristof’s judgment, I would think you had feelings for Ty.” I frowned when Sisay gave me a look that I was slow.
I didn’t think I deserved that. Sisay sounded like he was jealous of their relationship and wanted Ty for himself.
“I will say it’s hard to reach out when the other person walks away,” I told Chris after a few more minutes of walking. “It broke me to do it to Darius and be rebuffed. However, I did it. A couple of times, so I hear you. You’re not really asking for my advice, but you came to me and you’re going to get it because I wished more than anything someone told him this…”
“When you thought there was still a chance?” he finished for me.
I nodded, stopping this time and taking down my hair and scratching my scalp before putting it back up. “I was thinking that I would want this still. Something about hearing Cerdic lay so much out when I couldn’t say anything back because of the ghosts really, really made me listen. Normally, I’m so worried about what I’m going to say not to hurt them or—”
“Yeah, I tend to focus so much on how to articulate what I’m thinking and feeling that I don’t feel like I’m listening as well as I should,” Chris agreed.
“I miss writing letters,” Petre muttered. “I feel like that’s why people fell so in love over letters when separated. Before I was sold off to the Darbandi coven, a woman and I wrote letters and I felt I knew her soul from those letters.”
“Why didn’t you run away with her?” I asked.
He stared off in the distance. “I found out that her parents were pressuring her to woo me to raise their standing. She might have really liked me, but her brother made a drunken comment to one of my friends that I was a fool to fall for written words. That was the downfall of letters but if true, they could mean so much.”
“That’s how you let yourself be sold. You were heartbroken,” I mumbled, my heart hurting for him.
He snorted. “My own mother preyed on my broken soul and promised me a way to be fixed knowing she sold me to a house she believed to be the champion of one of Erebus’s children and hell.” He met my gaze. “My own mother.”
I nodded, hearing him loud and clear. A lot of us had fucked up families. It didn’t make what I went through any less horrible, but… I wasn’t alone.
I would thank him later, but right then I wanted to focus on Chris. Maybe this could help him with Ty and they could work through this, but even if not, it was something he deserved to feel like he’d tried his best for.
And that was all we could do in life.